# Age Appropriateness When Dating (Relax, I'm Not Talking About Anything Illegal Here)



## colchar (May 22, 2010)

I met someone a little while ago who I am interested in, and the interest is clearly mutual. In fact, she kind of initiated things in the first place. Nothing has happened yet, but it is pretty clear where this situation seems to be going. We both have rather busy and hectic lives (me with work, my puppy, and my elderly mother to deal with and her with two jobs which sometimes entail 12 hour work days multiple days each week) so neither of us has much time to spend with someone else. If things progressed it would have to be on a somewhat casual basis, at least until life's circumstances changed for one, or both, of us thus affording us more spare time. Despite how hectic our lives are we manage to talk every day, even if it just quick text messages as she rushes from one job to the other, and we get along extremely well. As I said, it is pretty clear where this situation seems to be going.

That all sounds pretty good right? Well there is a problem - she is younger than me. And when I say younger, I mean much younger. Like 30 years younger. She is mature and responsible for her age (due to family circumstances she has been on her own since she was 18), so is far from your typical 19 year old (she'll be 20 in a few weeks). 

So I'm not sure what to do about this. Do I continue interacting with her to see how things progress? If so, should I let the age issue factor in or should I just put it out of my mind? Or should I just walk away since there is such a large age difference? In many countries nobody would give a crap about the age difference but here in North America it is a larger issue and an age difference like that is less acceptable. Should I let that influence me, or should I say screw it and not let the rest of society determine who I date?

I guess, in a nutshell, I am just trying to get other people's opinions on how much of an issue the age difference is, or if it should be an issue at all.

So what do the rest of you think - how big of an age difference is acceptable?


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## LexxM3 (Oct 12, 2009)

It’s not always going to be easy, but who gives a shit what anyone else thinks. Live your lives, they’re short as it is.


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## iamthehub (Sep 21, 2016)

I agree with lexxM3... Do what your heart wants. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## vadsy (Dec 2, 2010)

man, I hope you’re dating one of your students. don’t end up on the news. good luck


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

vadsy said:


> man, I hope you’re dating one of your students. don’t end up on the news. good luck



We're not dating at the moment, and I would never risk my job by getting involved with a student. This individual has nothing to do with work whatsoever.

That being said, a girl in my class tonight stopped me in my tracks because she looks exactly like an ex-girlfriend of mine - and I mean _exactly_ like her 9well what the ex looked like at that age).

But again, I would never mess around with a student.


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## Kerry Brown (Mar 31, 2014)

One thing to think about is children. She will most likely want children. Doing the math you must be 49. If you have children over the next few years you will have teenagers while you are in your 60’s. I am a very healthy, active 64 year old. I would be hard pressed to keep up with a couple of teenage kids. I have one teenage grandson and one tween granddaughter. I love them dearly and spend as much time as I can with them but my lord I am worn out after a day with them. If you are serious about this and you both want children you need to get started on that soon. Other than that I say what does age matter? My wife is ten years younger than me. My only worry about the age difference is that I may end up frail and she’ll end up as my caregiver. I wouldn’t want her to suffer through that.


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## 1SweetRide (Oct 25, 2016)

I wouldn’t see this as a long-term thing but if it’s just to have some fun, go for it.


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## Guest (Jan 16, 2019)

Whilst looking at a sunshine girl ..
'Oh man, that's a sweet looking young thing'
'You know, she could be your daughter'
'Yeah .. but she's not'


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## SaucyJack (Mar 8, 2017)

You lucky bastard!!!


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## Guest (Jan 16, 2019)




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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

Yeah I was gonna say that this thread is worthless without pics .. lol


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

How long do you see this relationship lasting?


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## bw66 (Dec 17, 2009)

Do you have kids? And are they roughly the same age or older? If so, you should be asking them about it.

Is she a student of yours? if so, never.


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

Tough one. My 2nd wife was 13 years younger than me and it was kinda "Penthouse Letters" at first and then the age difference started creeping in. Having said that, the perfect "Girl age" for me has always been 19 - when I was 11 I wanted 19 year old girls. When I was 20 I wanted 19 year old girls. To this day 19 year old girls are still perfect. Problem is that there was only a brief period of time when I could actually have one and have it make sense. Not any longer.

So, on one hand I'm jealous of your situation and say "have at it". But we also know how this one will end - the first time you play a blues lick, talk about Jimmy Page, or the Moon landing you'll see the look on her face. The first time she gushes for Beiber, Drake, or Bro Country or uses an app to put kitten features on your picture you'll be wanting to kill yourself.

But the heck with rationalization .......................... she's 19!!!!!!!


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)




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## ronmac (Sep 22, 2006)

So, what you're really saying is you don't like relic guitars?


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

Budda said:


> How long do you see this relationship lasting?



Like any new relationship, I would have no idea. As I said, circumstances would dictate that it be something rather casual for the time being, and then we'd see where we were once circumstances changed (if they changed).


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

bw66 said:


> Do you have kids? And are they roughly the same age or older? If so, you should be asking them about it.


One son, he is older, he isn't an issue.




> Is she a student of yours? if so, never.



As I said above, no. I would never jeopardize my job like that.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

mhammer said:


>



I swear to God, when I found out her age that was the first thing that popped into my mind.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

Kerry Brown said:


> One thing to think about is children. She will most likely want children. Doing the math you must be 49. If you have children over the next few years you will have teenagers while you are in your 60’s. I am a very healthy, active 64 year old. I would be hard pressed to keep up with a couple of teenage kids. I have one teenage grandson and one tween granddaughter. I love them dearly and spend as much time as I can with them but my lord I am worn out after a day with them. If you are serious about this and you both want children you need to get started on that soon. Other than that I say what does age matter? My wife is ten years younger than me. My only worry about the age difference is that I may end up frail and she’ll end up as my caregiver. I wouldn’t want her to suffer through that.



While kids are certainly something to think about, we are about a hundred miles away from having to consider anything like that.


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## davetcan (Feb 27, 2006)

You'll never know until you try. It will either work or it won't. The hell with what other people think, if you're both up for it, and both adults, go for it.

Hopefully it doesn't turn out to be some kind of "The Crying Game" kind of scenario


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

colchar said:


> Like any new relationship, I would have no idea. As I said, circumstances would dictate that it be something rather casual for the time being, and then we'd see where we were once circumstances changed (if they changed).


I will rephrase.

What kind of relationship do each of you want? If one expects a ring in 5 years and the other wants 6 months of fun before the next, its good to know.


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## Chitmo (Sep 2, 2013)

LexxM3 said:


> It’s not always going to be easy, but who gives a shit what anyone else thinks. Live your lives, they’re short as it is.


What he said!


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

Chitmo said:


> What he said!


But we will be living vicariously through you .................................................... we'll need pictures to help with that. Lots of pictures


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## Guest (Jan 16, 2019)




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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

Budda said:


> I will rephrase.
> 
> What kind of relationship do each of you want? If one expects a ring in 5 years and the other wants 6 months of fun before the next, its good to know.



The only thing we've established is that both of us can only handle something casual at the moment.


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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

davetcan said:


> Hopefully it doesn't turn out to be some kind of "The Crying Game" kind of scenario


Are you referring to that movie... lol


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## Lincoln (Jun 2, 2008)

One word - Vasectomy


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## davetcan (Feb 27, 2006)

Wardo said:


> Are you referring to that movie... lol


Of course


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## Jim DaddyO (Mar 20, 2009)

No matter what you do, someone will be critical of it.

That being said. Who cares?

If you have a good conversational relationship (and I can't comprehend being able to do that with someone that age, but that's just me), and you want to take it up a notch, what have you got to lose? What is the worst thing that could happen?

It doesn't sound like the keys to the house are going to get replicated any time soon. 

2 kinds of people will talk about the age difference. The ones that don't understand the relationship, and those who are jealous.

Oh. Is she hot? This thread is worthless without pictures....lol


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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

double post


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

Jim DaddyO said:


> What is the worst thing that could happen?



See post #28.


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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

davetcan said:


> Of course


..lol


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## Jim DaddyO (Mar 20, 2009)

colchar said:


> See post #28.


She has to be smart enough to take precautions, yet dumb enough not to know the word "lawyer". LOL


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## davetcan (Feb 27, 2006)

Jim DaddyO said:


> What is the worst thing that could happen?


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## Sneaky (Feb 14, 2006)




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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

There are aspects of relationships that are independent of historical context or experience. And there are aspects of relationships that are very much tied to common historical experience. People can find their bonds on the basis of experiences and values that are not tied to any particular historical experiences, and they can find their bonds can revolve very closely around common experiences connected to a given time period (the basis of Donald Fagen saying "Hey nineteen, that's 'Retha Franklin. She don't remember, the Queen of Soul."). Casual relationships, whether merely hobby or work-related, or other, don't _have _to depend on common historical experience. Intimate relationships tend to depend more closely on common experience; especially cohort differences in upbringing. One should distinguish, however, between stable or longer-term, and "intimate". I think we've all seen relationships that were stable and long-term, but not especially emotionally close.

A disproportionate number of domestic homicides occur when a couple with a significant age gap (the male partner being older) breaks up. That is not at all to suggest any sort of character on the part of colchar. Rather, it simply illustrates that what can start out as a reasonably workable relationship can eventually turn to jealousy, resentment, and stress, because of how age translates into differential motives and interests. That said, there are plenty of folks who have good relationships, despite big age differences, and objectively recognize when it has run its course, shake hands, and go their separate ways.

Some years back, while teaching a gerontology course, and covering age-changes in close relationships, I split the class up into three different age ranges, and sent them to three separate rooms, armed with transparencies and overhead markers, to address the following task: "If someone asked you 'Who should I marry?', and you were to offer advice, what would be the traits you would recommend looking for?". Some of the students in the class were over 50, and they returned with recommendations that were quite disparate from those offered by the younger students. Where the younger students would come up with traits like good sense of humour, smart, physically appealing, etc., - those things that attract you to a person at the outset - the older students offered things like good health, loyalty, and honesty - those things that allow a relationship to survive and promote growth. Granted, some people don't seem to ever mature past 18, and some are wise well past their years, those exceptions aside, age differences can provide perspective and motivational differences that can provide impediments.

Sneaky, I'm digging those Guild solid-bodies.


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## davetcan (Feb 27, 2006)

Or maybe it's just about sex.


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## Guest (Jan 16, 2019)

Falling in lust.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

laristotle said:


> Falling in lust.



That might play a small role, but I'd like to think I am past that. And looking in the mirror, I can't see anything that she would lust over.


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

I just don't see this working out unless you're just plain filthy rich or look like Sean Connery.


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## leftysg (Mar 29, 2008)

Kind of reminded me of the old Mash episode when Henry Blake meets Nancy Sue. Be happy.


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

As long as you're both over 18 I have no moral or ethical concerns as long as she's not a student or otherwise subordinate to you.

It's hard to imagine a 30 year age difference not having an impact in many ways as time passes. When you're 55 (presuming you aren't already) she'll be 25, not so bad, but when she's 55 you'll be 85?

When I consider the differences in what I like and dislike compared to a 20 year old, really the only appeal for me would be the sex.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

allthumbs56 said:


> I just don't see this working out


Perhaps not, but lots of relationships don't work out in the long run. Why deny yourself based on that? And who knows, maybe it could if we ever got to that point and both wanted it to.




> unless you're just plain filthy rich or look like Sean Connery.


Well I am Scottish and do make a shitload per hour...........


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

Milkman said:


> As long as you're both over 18 I have no moral or ethical concerns as long as she's not a student or otherwise subordinate to you.


Nope, she has no connection to my work in any way and there is no dominant/subordinate aspect to the pair of us at all. I met her through her job and started getting to know her through dealing with her there.




> It's hard to imagine a 30 year age difference not having an impact in many ways as time passes. When you're 55 (presuming you aren't already) she'll be 25, not so bad, but when she's 55 you'll be 85?



She is 19 and I am 49. Her birthday is in late winter and mine is in late spring.




> When I consider the differences in what I like and dislike compared to a 20 year old, really the only appeal for me would be the sex.


While the attraction is there and that definitely would play a role (once we got to that point), we do get along like a house on fire so there is obviously a connection outside of the physical.


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## Dorian2 (Jun 9, 2015)

Does she like or play guitars? That's the important question. Everything else is frivolous and unimportant. Kidding aside, if you are both comfortable with the situation then who is to tell you what's appropriate or not? You'll likely get some heat from family one way or another, and possibly even close friends. Don't let that stop you from being happy.

Are you happy where you're at? The answer to that question will say it all.

Sent from my Moto G (4) using Tapatalk


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## Johnny Spune (Sep 15, 2014)

What about her mom and gramma. Are they hot? Always good to have a plan b and c.


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

colchar said:


> Nope, she has no connection to my work in any way and there is no dominant/subordinate aspect to the pair of us at all. I met her through her job and started getting to know her through dealing with her there.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Love is love. You can try to rationalize it but you can't really change the way you feel.

My only worry is that the age difference will ultimately grow in terms of impact.

I hope that doesn't happen, but it would be a concern for me.


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## cboutilier (Jan 12, 2016)

My parents are only 8 years apart, and they used to run into issues where they were in seperate stages of their lives and couldnt see eye to eye on things anymore. Mom would want to go camping or to a party in her 30s, while Dad was reaching that age of falling asleep watching the Waltons in his chair.


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

Milkman said:


> When I consider the differences in what I like and dislike compared to a 20 year old, really the only appeal for me would be the sex.


There's something to be said for experience too.


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

cboutilier said:


> My parents are only 8 years apart, and they used to run into issues where they were in seperate stages of their lives and couldnt see eye to eye on things anymore. Mom would want to go camping or to a party in her 30s, while Dad was reaching that age of falling asleep watching the Waltons in his chair.


There's 8 years between me and my Maggs. The past year or so she's started talking about how much she'll miss me when I'm gone


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## Guest (Jan 16, 2019)

I imagine that if any concerns of impropriety are raised, it would most likely
happen when/if you two are introduced to each other's friends/family.


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## keto (May 23, 2006)

I have nothing against it AT ALL. I'm surprised you haven't had a bit of flack in the thread. When you're walking around the mall/art gallery/etc you'll get some looks and occasionally someone will ask you about 'your daughter'. Family gatherings could have potential for AWKWARRRRRRD


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## Johnny Spune (Sep 15, 2014)

But seriously if your not hurting anyone do what you want. Just be prepared to live with the consequences. That goes for pretty much everything.


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## Lincoln (Jun 2, 2008)

colchar said:


> Nope, she has no connection to my work in any way and there is no dominant/subordinate aspect to the pair of us at all. I met her through her job and started getting to know her through dealing with her there.
> 
> While the attraction is there and that definitely would play a role (once we got to that point), we do get along like a house on fire so there is obviously a connection outside of the physical.


Well that two very important parts covered. If you can carry on a conversation with her, then it's all green lights. Go for it.


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

cboutilier said:


> Dad was reaching that age of falling asleep watching the Waltons in his chair.


Crap, I fall asleep watching the Waltons almost daily (on at 5:00 PM).

When I get home from work I’m pretty much a zombie for about a half hour, LOL.


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## sambonee (Dec 20, 2007)

I’m a conservative person. We all have our own choices to make. Respectfully I’ll say that: she may have the vocation of being a mother in her future. If so, being romantically involved with you could I inhibit her from making a connection with someone else who would be in that same general mindset and age bracket. 

Nevertheless, today there is a large chasm beteeen opinions. And against odds, it could work. 

Taking her off “the market” might have a negative effect for her long term if your relationship lasts for over 2-3 years . Honestly speaking. 

Morally, it’s ok. Especially since you’re humble enough to seek some other viewpoints. 

I hope I was respectful in my delivery. That was my intention.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

i skipped over all the other posts, and will just say this, regardless if anyone else has said it. you're going down a tricky road. you seem to be entertaining the idea of a relationship. that's not going to work, i don't care what any fool tells you. casual sex will be fun, as long as you can keep up, but don't expect more than that. do not co-habitate, do not let her keep so much as a toothbrush at your house. women love "good men" until the realize good men are not exciting. they're too dependable. date her casually, and when she dumps you for chad thundercock, just smile and wave goodbye, content that it was fun while it lasted. anything ore than that, and she's going to take half of your shit, including your pension. you're too old to be starting over. i know this, because i'm doing it right now.

spend $3 and watch the red pill documentary on youtube, if you doubt anything i've said above.


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## 10409 (Dec 11, 2011)

My only concern is how silly you’re gonna look serenading her with Selena Gomez songs


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

cheezyridr said:


> chad thundercock


I haven't stopped laughing ........................................


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

There’s four years between me and my wife.

That doesn’t seem like much, but it’s surprising how much different the music that is at our core is from each other. What I mean, is the music that you listen to during high school, or maybe from age 13 to 18. In my opinion that music bonds with you and stays with you forever in ways that music you listen to later in life never can.

For Linda and I, that is different music simply because of what was on the radio at that point in our lives.

Good luck should you go ahead. Not getting down on you, just trying to help.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

I'll be honest. I think a 30 year age difference will be a major problem.


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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

My wife was a good classical guitar player and she used to just look at me when I was playing and shake her head...lol


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## Distortion (Sep 16, 2015)

Yep we all like looking at the younger stuff but 30 years is stupid. She is probably just being pleasant with you because you are a father type figure. Sorry just the facts. I know for a fact the young stuff will chat me up but it is because I am not a threat in their eyes. If I was close to their age I would not get the time of day.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

cboutilier said:


> My parents are only 8 years apart, and they used to run into issues where they were in seperate stages of their lives and couldnt see eye to eye on things anymore. Mom would want to go camping or to a party in her 30s, while Dad was reaching that age of falling asleep watching the Waltons in his chair.



My parents were eight years apart too, and they never experienced anything like that.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

sambonee said:


> I’m a conservative person. We all have our own choices to make. Respectfully I’ll say that: she may have the vocation of being a mother in her future. If so, being romantically involved with you could I inhibit her from making a connection with someone else who would be in that same general mindset and age bracket.
> 
> Nevertheless, today there is a large chasm beteeen opinions. And against odds, it could work.
> 
> ...



Even if it lasted five years and then fell apart, she would still be only 24-25 so she would have plenty of time for kids after that!


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## sambonee (Dec 20, 2007)

Yeah. It’s not nuts. It’s just rare. But heck so is a ‘59 LP!!


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

cheezyridr said:


> i skipped over all the other posts, and will just say this, regardless if anyone else has said it. you're going down a tricky road. you seem to be entertaining the idea of a relationship. that's not going to work, i don't care what any fool tells you. casual sex will be fun, as long as you can keep up, but don't expect more than that. do not co-habitate, do not let her keep so much as a toothbrush at your house. women love "good men" until the realize good men are not exciting. they're too dependable. date her casually, and when she dumps you for chad thundercock, just smile and wave goodbye, content that it was fun while it lasted. anything ore than that, and she's going to take half of your shit, including your pension. you're too old to be starting over. i know this, because i'm doing it right now.



I determine my beneficiary (pension, etc.) and, right now, that is my brother. I would need to sign off on anyone else getting anything.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

Distortion said:


> Yep we all like looking at the younger stuff but 30 years is stupid. She is probably just being pleasant with you because you are a father type figure. Sorry just the facts. I know for a fact the young stuff will chat me up but it is because I am not a threat in their eyes. If I was close to their age I would not get the time of day.



Whatever the attraction is, it is more than simply chatting me up. I would see right through that in a heartbeat. Chatting one up does not involve talking daily, and at length.


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## Lincoln (Jun 2, 2008)

Old Soul?


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

colchar said:


> I determine my beneficiary (pension, etc.) and, right now, that is my brother. I would need to sign off on anyone else getting anything.


it has nothing to do with beneficiary. there are plenty of cases in canada where women have made claims against their unmarried partner's property and wealth, and won. the courts will absolutely not be on your side. you can't conceive of this person doing something like that to you, i understand infatuation. if anyone had told me the woman who brought me to canada would do the things she did, i wouldn't have believed them either. 

aside from all that, i'm going to say something uncomfortable, but true. it's not going to be a popular opinion, this is the trigger warning. 
any woman her age interested in men that much older, has issues. it's not normal. unless she weighs 300 lbs and she's 4'10, she can have her pick of lots of guys who are young, and hot, and physically at their peak. she knows this, because it's in her face 24/7. she's got quite a few years to go before she hits the wall, and she knows that too. she is at the peak of her sexual market place value. if hypergamy is the reason she likes older men, the dangers are obvious. any other possible reason is equally problematic, but less obvious right now, because you still dont know her yet. 
when you've been in a relationship with someone for a long period of time, you get to know them pretty deeply. they reveal parts of themselves that no one else gets to see. if she is attracted to a man 30 yrs older at her age, some of those parts of her you don't _want_ to see. hit it a few times, be up front that it's casual. anything more and you're inviting drama you don't want.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

I think it's worth the attempt. Relationships are funny things, based on all sorts of odd things and unusual combinations of characteristics. Age is only one thing. You can't please everyone, so please each other. Don't give her anything goofy like a ring, give her something meaningful, like time, fun, respect, dignity, and honesty. Give her memories...good ones. You can benefit from her youth and she can benefit from your experience. Some couples live quite happily apart, making the best of whatever time they can produce together. There's a certain excitement and suspense to that I think. Make the best of whatever time you can find together. Don't be embarrassed or annoyed by the naysayers, be amused, be tolerant. Everyone judges something, ignore them. 

Since we seem to be swapping stories...

When I was 24 I had already had a couple of serious relationships including one engagement, and several semi-serious relationships. I was going through a particularly wild and irresponsible (for me) period, bouncing from one woman to another, blowing through wads of cash with each one, and living like a wayfaring vagabond. Sofa surfing, sometimes with a fixed address, sometimes not, sleeping with my guitar and/or some random female, drinking like the breweries depended on me alone. That came to a screeching halt while on a camping trip with my ne'er-do-well buddies. We met 3 or 4 girls and split them between us, each making our moves like we had a clue. Fuck, was I ever outclassed by this hot redhead. We spent the camping weekend together, then dated a couple of times before I figured out she wasn't in her mid 20's, but merely 17. 

Now, 7 years difference ain't shit when the younger is over 20, but she was a high school girl who fooled a group of men who thought they were sly and worldly because of their higher education and sometimes quite bonkers experience in the world. That 7 years was a major impediment for the girl's single mother...I was way too old, had my own car (imagine what can happen there!), unprofessional, non-catholic, had a beard (most of the time), and worst of all loved the girl. In spite of saving her from bankruptcy by assuming ownership of her house, I was never able to sway the mother, and to this day that hot redhead and I have only seen her once each since before our wedding. I just can't please some people. 

We've been married for 34 years. Two years dating before that. Pretty much betrothed from the first couple of months. You know that girl you knew in high school who was engaged to some older guy? My wife is that girl and I'm that guy.

Whatever happens, best of luck.


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## fogdart (Mar 22, 2017)

I'm 29, and I consider myself to be a young 29. One night this summer a friend of mine brought her younger sibling and a bunch of friends up to the cottage. They were all 18-20. I was floored. Listening to them talk was like listening to a different language. It was the first time I felt truly out of touch with that 19/20 age group. My wife, who is 25, agreed. Born in '99, this is a generation that grew up with cell phones, the Internet, etc... Probably the first generation that can't relate to life before the modern technical revolution. 

My advice is have some fun. I could see it being fun for both parties. Companionship, physical interaction... all good for the soul. But I figure it's very unlikely that it'll be a successful long term relationship. Easier for you to get over a break-up than her, I'm sure. For her sake, don't get too close. She deserves to live her youth, let her.


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## Guest (Jan 17, 2019)

The ideal age a woman should be for a man is half his age plus 7. So if you are 60, your ideal female age is 37.

A girlfriend of mine would call the younger woman who would be nice to me "Uncle Fuckers".


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

cheezyridr said:


> it has nothing to do with beneficiary. there are plenty of cases in canada where women have made claims against their unmarried partner's property and wealth, and won. the courts will absolutely not be on your side. you can't conceive of this person doing something like that to you, i understand infatuation. if anyone had told me the woman who brought me to canada would do the things she did, i wouldn't have believed them either.


That is waaaay outside of the realm of things I have to worry about right now. And besides, everything with my pension, etc. is all nice and legal naming my brother as beneficiary. I'll be fine.





> aside from all that, i'm going to say something uncomfortable, but true. it's not going to be a popular opinion, this is the trigger warning.
> any woman her age interested in men that much older, has issues. it's not normal. unless she weighs 300 lbs and she's 4'10, she can have her pick of lots of guys who are young, and hot, and physically at their peak. she knows this, because it's in her face 24/7. she's got quite a few years to go before she hits the wall, and she knows that too. she is at the peak of her sexual market place value. if hypergamy is the reason she likes older men, the dangers are obvious. any other possible reason is equally problematic, but less obvious right now, because you still dont know her yet.
> when you've been in a relationship with someone for a long period of time, you get to know them pretty deeply. they reveal parts of themselves that no one else gets to see. if she is attracted to a man 30 yrs older at her age, some of those parts of her you don't _want_ to see. hit it a few times, be up front that it's casual. anything more and you're inviting drama you don't want.



We have been up front that anything that happens now will be casual, and we'll see how things go. So far as I can tell, she doesn't have any major issues. She hasn't talked to her father in a couple of years so there is obviously a Daddy issue or two floating around but we all have issues don't we? I know I do, and I defy you to show me someone who doesn't have at least a couple. 

From what she has told me her last couple of relationships were physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. In fact, they could probably best be described as toxic. As a result, she is sick and tired of boys and likely sees in me a man who doesn't play juvenile games, is more mature, is emotionally mature, is settled, is well educated, has a decent job with some degree of security, and who earns a good wage (in other words, I ain't looking to her for money the way one ex-boyfriend always was). 

And no, she is not some short fat troll. Well she is short, but she's a very attractive little blonde.

A good friend of mine has been living for years now with a guy 26 years older than her. Granted, she was almost 30 when they met, but they are one of the happiest couples I know and, so far as I am aware, she doesn't have any major issues. She just chooses to ignore his age and looks at him as a person, not a date on a birth certificate.


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## Johnny Spune (Sep 15, 2014)

Ok heres what everyone knows but won’t admit it or say it.

Doesn’t matter if they are 30 years older or thirty years younger or the same age. They will all eventually rip every organ out of your body and grind them into a little pile of mush leaving you a hollow husk and a shell of your former self.

So don’t worry about age...


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## Jim DaddyO (Mar 20, 2009)

The first night I met my wife we sat around and shot the breeze about everything and anything. I probably went through a pot of coffee as the conversation was that engaging. One thing we discussed and agreed upon is that ANY 2 people can make it work, IF both of them agreed that making it work was something they would commit to. No matter what your definition of "working" is (casual, serious, friends with benefits), if you are both committed to the same ground rules and WORK at it, then it will work. Naturally, there are times when the ground rules or the relationship changes. It gets more, or less, serious/committed. Still, if both agree to work within those boundaries (respect being at the top of the list), you can be successful in the relationship, as defined by both parties mutual expectations.

Oh, and I told you people would be critical....


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

Jim DaddyO said:


> The first night I met my wife we sat around and shot the breeze about everything and anything. I probably went through a pot of coffee as the conversation was that engaging. One thing we discussed and agreed upon is that ANY 2 people can make it work, IF both of them agreed that making it work was something they would commit to. No matter what your definition of "working" is (casual, serious, friends with benefits), if you are both committed to the same ground rules and WORK at it, then it will work. Naturally, there are times when the ground rules or the relationship changes. It gets more, or less, serious/committed. Still, if both agree to work within those boundaries (respect being at the top of the list), you can be successful in the relationship, as defined by both parties mutual expectations.


She and I have had similar discussions about relationships, and came out of them pretty much the same way that you and your wife did.





> Oh, and I told you people would be critical....



Yes, but surprisingly few.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

And we still needs pics.


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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

colchar said:


> . ... And besides, everything with my pension, etc. is all nice and legal naming my brother as beneficiary..


Leaving this particular relationship aside, you might have some risky assumptions about how family law works. Pensions, matrimonial home etc. all fair game when it’s over. Check out the rule of 65; it’s a real good un...lol


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## sambonee (Dec 20, 2007)

butterknucket said:


> And we still needs pics.


Didn’t neil write a song about that. 

My fav line is
I like to get drunk on Friday night. 
Sometimes, I can’t wait so Monday is all right.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

butterknucket said:


> And we still needs pics.



I have some, but no. If things develop and we end up involved then maybe one of the two of us together, but not right now.


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## sambonee (Dec 20, 2007)

Forgive the aside. 

Whoever the lady is, rule of thumb. Never post a pic of a lady online. The pros and cons will conclude likewise.


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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

This should get things sorted out... lol


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

Wardo said:


> Leaving this particular relationship aside, you might have some risky assumptions about how family law works. Pensions, matrimonial home etc. all fair game when it’s over. Check out the rule of 65; it’s a real good un...lol



I've been through the breakup of a relationship with a child involved so I am familiar with how it works. After my Dad died (without a will) my Mum had hers done and had the lawyer do it in such a way that my ex (my son's mother) couldn't claim anything nor could my brother's wife. We made sure none of that could be touched, and when I did mine I used the same lawyer and got it as iron clad as possible. She actually joked that my brother and I had had bad luck with women, but told me not to worry as she would ensure my assets were protected.


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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

Family and Estates are two different things and I'm not going to go on about it. Although I worked at a place that did matrimonial about 20 years ago and quit after 3 months because it sucks ... lol


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

I've been giving this a lot of thought. Magg's oldest niece is going on 20. She's a kid who thinks she's a woman. I don't know how else to say it. If your lady-friend was 30 and you were 60 then I'd say that you're both mature and have at it until the novelty wears off. If there was some guy my age trying to have a go with my 19 year-old niece I would be real alarmed. They've got tender hearts at that age.

I think that, perhaps, if you care for her you should leave her alone. I know that's not what you want to hear.


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## sambonee (Dec 20, 2007)

@allthumbs56 has a pound of wisdom there. Today’s 19 (avg. mentality ) is like a 14 yr old in 1950. Heck maybe a 12 yr old. Which spills over onto one ability to make good decisions. Where’s @mhammer when you need a thought on the matter.


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## Guest (Jan 17, 2019)

After you hit 50, your body reminds you of your old war wounds. lol.
Would you be able to keep up physically?


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## fretzel (Aug 8, 2014)

He who hesitates, masturbates!

-The Cable Guy


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## Jim DaddyO (Mar 20, 2009)

colchar said:


> She and I have had similar discussions about relationships, and came out of them pretty much the same way that you and your wife did.


We've been together 25 years now, or going on it, neither of us keep track...lol. We never did the whole wedding ritual, but after this long we are as "husband and wife" as anyone.

Anyway

There is nothing saying you have to jump right into a relationship. Go for coffee, a meal, go to the ROM, a movie, or some other common interest. It doesn't have to be a "date", just 2 buddies hanging out sharing a common interest. Take it from there, if it grows, good, if it stays just that, good too.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

Jim DaddyO said:


> There is nothing saying you have to jump right into a relationship.


We wouldn't be. She isn't interested in anything serious at the moment, and neither one of us has time for anything like that in our lives right now.





> Go for coffee, a meal, go to the ROM, a movie, or some other common interest. It doesn't have to be a "date", just 2 buddies hanging out sharing a common interest. Take it from there, if it grows, good, if it stays just that, good too.



That is what we are doing, when we can find the time.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

laristotle said:


> After you hit 50, your body reminds you of your old war wounds. lol.
> Would you be able to keep up physically?



I'd die trying (assuming you were referring to the bedroom).


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

sambonee said:


> @allthumbs56 has a pound of wisdom there. Today’s 19 (avg. mentality ) is like a 14 yr old in 1950. Heck maybe a 12 yr old. Which spills over onto one ability to make good decisions. Where’s @mhammer when you need a thought on the matter.



She has been on her own for a couple of years now so is a lot more mature and responsible than your average 19 year old, otherwise I wouldn't give her the time of day because most people her age are twits.

But your, and @allthumbs56 points are well taken.


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## cdntac (Oct 11, 2017)

My gut tells me that, as a generalization, if a 19 year old girl is interested in a 50 year old man --- she has some issues that need to be examined.


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## Guest (Jan 17, 2019)

Depends on what she's looking for


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

cdntac said:


> My gut tells me that, as a generalization, if a 19 year old girl is interested in a 50 year old man --- she has some issues that need to be examined.


As I said earlier I put this in context of my nieces and their mental/social development at 18 - 20. They're young adults and starting to make adult decisions - but they will make a lot of mistakes yet as they continue to mature. If one of them came home with a 50 year-old boyfriend I would believe two things 1) they don't know what they're doing, and 2) There's a perverted creep willing to take advantage of that 

Bear in mind that you and I tend to agree with each other and I am fortunate enough to not have that kind of temptation dangling in front of me because it's a very, very powerful one - it destroys cities and sink ships


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## Ship of fools (Nov 17, 2007)

I'll tell you what if I were her father you see where I am going with this at 19 she is just a child no matter what you see as an adult at 19 her brain is still developing now if she were say 25 well then I am sure no positive she would know what she was doing and getting into but you as an person who has been around the block more the once twice three times.
I know it sounds like fun and all and she probably is very attractive at 19 but seriously what can you offer her a family at your age is out of the question and Viagra could be around the corner so maybe take it as a compliment and pass on it because that is far to creepy and as a father well myself if it were mine breathing problems or anything else would not stop me from thinking about putting you in a hospital ( no this is not a threat to you so please don't take it as such just thinking as a father ).
So I hope you get what everyone is saying just not age appropriate for a person as yourself and think of how much more difference there is between you in terms of taste.


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## Guest (Jan 17, 2019)




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## cdntac (Oct 11, 2017)

colchar said:


> She has been on her own for a couple of years now so is a lot more mature and responsible than your average 19 year old, otherwise I wouldn't give her the time of day because most people here age are twits.
> 
> But your, and @allthumbs56 points are well taken.


Skipping back to this post --- it's pretty obvious you're enamoured/intrigued by her. 

However, she's 19 f'n years old!


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## ronmac (Sep 22, 2006)

A solid relationship is built as much on the practical as it is on the emotional. It is often a tight-rope balancing act and requires each partner to be well balanced on their own. If that is the case, walk the wire baby.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

cdntac said:


> Skipping back to this post --- it's pretty obvious you're enamoured/intrigued by her.
> 
> However, she's 19 f'n years old!



My best friend's comment on the situation was "wait until after her birthday...it is only 6-8 weeks away...after that fine because 20 is an adult".


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

Question: are there no 30yo women who are also interested?

In short, are you pursuing the (much) younger option because you can, or also for some bragging rights with friends? Sure she's interested but odds are someone else would be too.


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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

Wait till she sees this thread ... lol


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

Budda said:


> Question: are there no 30yo women who are also interested?
> 
> In short, are you pursuing the (much) younger option because you can, or also for some bragging rights with friends? Sure she's interested but odds are someone else would be too.



Haven't met anyone else lately, and haven't been interested in doing so. I wasn't interested in meeting anyone - it simply wasn't in my head at all. But I met her, we got to know each other a bit, and I thought 'hey wait a minute'. For the first time in a very long time I found myself interested in someone. I knew she was young, but at that point didn't know her exact age.

And no, this has nothing whatsoever to do with bragging rights with friends. I can actually be a very private person and don't want other people knowing my business so bragging about the situation is the last thing I would do.


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## Guest (Jan 17, 2019)

colchar said:


> an adult


'I don't write songs about girls anymore .. I have to write songs about women'.


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## Guest (Jan 17, 2019)

dupli


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

sambonee said:


> @allthumbs56 has a pound of wisdom there. Today’s 19 (avg. mentality ) is like a 14 yr old in 1950. Heck maybe a 12 yr old. Which spills over onto one ability to make good decisions. Where’s @mhammer when you need a thought on the matter.


Actually, today's 40 year-old thinks like a 20 year-old.
Some folks spray themselves with teflon early in life and never gather a speck of wisdom or common sense as long as they live. It happens.


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## Jim DaddyO (Mar 20, 2009)

colchar said:


> That is what we are doing, when we can find the time.


Then everything is unfolding the way it ought to. Let nature take it's course and enjoy the ride. The journey is more important than any destination in this case. At this point you are spending time with someone you like, doing things you like to do. Just enjoy that and don't let any preconceived notions or expectations get in the way. If it is meant to be, it will be, if not, you still have what you have now.....which is a good thing.


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## 10409 (Dec 11, 2011)

This reminds me of the one about a man who sits in confessional and says “father I’ve been intimate with a girl half my age” and the priest says “when’s the last time you confessed?” The man replies “Never, I’m Jewish”. So the priest slides back the veil and says “then why are you telling me?” The man, with a big smile on his face says “I’m telling everyone”


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

RIM SHOT!!!!


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

mhammer said:


> RIM SHOT!!!!



Um, you do know that is also a sex act right?


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

I didn't until you described it as such. I was just thinking in terms of traditional comedy stand-up.
You'll excuse me. I have to go take a shower now.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

mhammer said:


> I didn't until you described it as such. I was just thinking in terms of traditional comedy stand-up.
> You'll excuse me. I have to go take a shower now.



Oh I knew what you were thinking, and figured you might not realize it was a sex act. Did you have to Google it? If so, you might want to clear your cache before the wife sees your browsing history and wonders what dafuq got into you!


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## Guest (Jan 17, 2019)




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## Jim DaddyO (Mar 20, 2009)

Side notes:

I worked at a factory that made truck rims....so I had a rim job
I worked at a bearing factory....*** Bearings at the time
I just needed to get a job at a candy factory in the packaging department to have a trifecta of kinky sounding jobs.


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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

Well this thread is evolving nicely... lol


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

colchar said:


> Um, you do know that is also a sex act right?


Assuming that is different then an RJ then?


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## Ship of fools (Nov 17, 2007)

Yeah but one has to ask the question which head were you thinking with knowing you as we do I don't think it was bragging rights for you and honestly I get it that a young beautiful child is maybe flirtatious and all but now that you do know her age do you not question why would someone that young be interested in a much older gentleman.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

Wardo said:


> Well this thread is evolving nicely... lol



It was to be expected. Personally, I'm surprised it took this long.


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

Wardo said:


> Well this thread is evolving nicely... lol


"Evolving"?

If it evolves anymore we'll all be talking like we're 13 ........................... in which case 19 is frikkin' awesome, dude


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## Guest (Jan 17, 2019)

Jim DaddyO said:


> I just needed to get a job at a candy factory in the packaging department to have a trifecta of kinky sounding jobs.


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## Lola (Nov 16, 2014)

Do what your heart tells you! 

If you make each other happy who cares!


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## Lincoln (Jun 2, 2008)

this thread brings to mind a country song, with a line in it that goes............

Life is not tried, it's just merely survived,
when you're standing outside the fire


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## vadsy (Dec 2, 2010)

now that we are at ten pages of a guitar forums love advice we should add a fashion segment to this thread so he doesn't look out of date when he sees this girl/boy,,.. I bet you guys have a ton of great 'how to dress to impress' advice

lets hear it


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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

Splash on a bit Castrol R40 mixed with Sunoco Racing Fuel 18:1 and a John B. Stetson never fails.


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## vadsy (Dec 2, 2010)

Wardo said:


> Splash on a bit Castrol R40 mixed with Sunoco Racing Fuel 18:1 and a John B. Stetson never fails.


that sounds nice, ...,bet that works 60% of the time every time


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## 10409 (Dec 11, 2011)

I wonder if she’s even seen his solo face yet


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## jb welder (Sep 14, 2010)

vadsy said:


> now that we are at ten pages of a guitar forums love advice we should add a fashion segment to this thread so he doesn't look out of date when he sees this girl/boy,,.. I bet you guys have a ton of great 'how to dress to impress' advice
> 
> lets hear it


Some fashion tips and bonus dance moves here: https://guitarscanada.com/index.php?threads/maybe-the-worst.231668/page-2#post-2381672

Seriously, Colchar, unless you do not plan on any contact with family or friends (depending on level of 'casual') I hope you are prepared for a fair amount of hostility either overt or otherwise. Maybe you think you don't care but it's a lot different when it's right in your face.
I'm with several others here thinking that an extra 5 years would have been a major difference.


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## cboutilier (Jan 12, 2016)

No matter what, I applaud you. I'm only 27, I can only handle a 19 year old for a few months max.


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## Jim DaddyO (Mar 20, 2009)

When my wife turned 40 I said I was going to trade her in for two twenty year olds.


Turns out, I was no longer wired for 220.


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## troyhead (May 23, 2014)

colchar said:


> Well there is a problem - she is younger than me.


I guess the unanswered question here is why do YOU think that’s a problem? It’s obviously enough of a problem in your mind that you’ve called it a problem and then asked others for advice.


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## sambonee (Dec 20, 2007)

Yeah, socially that would be taxing imo. Especially if it lasted beyond 3-6 months. 

There’s also the really possibility that with intimacy, there could be the surprise of a baby as we all know. Is that something that you’d want? 

Only being honest given that you’re asking for advice, and that we’re all just conversing on your topic.

What Comes to mind is, with some effort, would you not be able to find somebody within a 10 year age difference who could possibly make you satisfied in a relationship?

Today it’s easier than ever with technology to find compatibility.


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## Guitar101 (Jan 19, 2011)

Dating a young girl episode.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

troyhead said:


> I guess the unanswered question here is why do YOU think that’s a problem? It’s obviously enough of a problem in your mind that you’ve called it a problem and then asked others for advice.



It isn't necessarily that I think it is a problem, more uncharted territory as the largest age gap I've ever been involved with was 7-8 years (early 30s for me late 20s for her). I've been involved in one 20 year age gap but I was the younger one so that doesn't really count, especially as I was only in that one for fun.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

cboutilier said:


> No matter what, I applaud you. I'm only 27, I can only handle a 19 year old for a few months max.


I thought you had a girlfriend?


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

sambonee said:


> There’s also the really possibility that with intimacy, there could be the surprise of a baby as we all know. Is that something that you’d want?



We're both smart enough to be really careful about that. I know things happen, but you can significantly reduce the risk.





> What Comes to mind is, with some effort, would you not be able to find somebody within a 10 year age difference who could possibly make you satisfied in a relationship?
> 
> Today it’s easier than ever with technology to find compatibility.



Romance, dating, sex, etc. are the furthest things from my mind and have been for a long time now. I am simply not interested. It wasn't until meeting this person and getting to know her a little bit that I thought 'wait a minute'. This isn't about being interested in those things, this is about being interested in her. The person she is pushed me there, and I am not sure if anyone else would or if I would be willing to put forth the effort to find out. Before meeting her, I simply didn't care. Not sure if that makes sense.


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## cboutilier (Jan 12, 2016)

Budda said:


> I thought you had a girlfriend?


I do. And she was 23 when we started dating, and was wild like a 19 year old. I was exhausted trying to keep up for the first year. What a wild ride.


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

vadsy said:


> now that we are at ten pages of a guitar forums love advice we should add a fashion segment to this thread so he doesn't look out of date when he sees this girl/boy,,.. I bet you guys have a ton of great 'how to dress to impress' advice
> 
> lets hear it


Tan pants and a bowling shirt?


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## vadsy (Dec 2, 2010)

allthumbs56 said:


> Tan pants and a bowling shirt?


with Crocs


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## Lola (Nov 16, 2014)

One of my co-workers is dating a 49 yr old, she just turned 26. They have been together for a year and they are very happy. He bought her roses at work to celebrate their one yr anniversary. 

He was her teacher at Devry. They are both in the music industry and they have a lot in common.


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

troyhead said:


> I guess the unanswered question here is why do YOU think that’s a problem? It’s obviously enough of a problem in your mind that you’ve called it a problem and then asked others for advice.


I always figured that the lucky SOB was just bragging ............................................... these days I can't even rent a 19 year-old


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## Verne (Dec 29, 2018)

allthumbs56 said:


> Tan pants and a bowling shirt?


Track pants with button up shirt and dress shoes. Don't forget sandals with sports socks.


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## vadsy (Dec 2, 2010)

Verne said:


> Track pants with button up shirt and dress shoes. Don't forget sandals with sports socks.


must be thick white socks


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## Ship of fools (Nov 17, 2007)

Lola at that age I would have no problem with my daughter dating a 49 year wouldn't be completely thrilled but at least by then she is what I would call mature and her brain at that point would be closer to a thirty four to thirty nine year old male and her brain would be fully developed so not a problem.
And Colchar at have to admit I like the fact that you are open to hearing what others think and feel about this situation it shows that you may have some concerns about it which is at least a way of you balancing your emotions and your feelings I give you props its not easy to discuss something like this I am sure.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

colchar said:


> We're both smart enough to be really careful about that. I know things happen, but you can significantly reduce the risk.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


People have way better luck meeting partners when they arent seeking them. Its been anecdotally proven quite often.

One of my coworkers had a cancer operation that rendered her infertile.

Her daughter turns 2 soon.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

allthumbs56 said:


> I always figured that the lucky SOB was just bragging ............................................... these days I can't even rent a 19 year-old



No bragging, genuine question.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

Budda said:


> People have way better luck meeting partners when they arent seeking them. Its been anecdotally proven quite often.
> 
> One of my coworkers had a cancer operation that rendered her infertile.
> 
> Her daughter turns 2 soon.


That is awesome!

We are a hundred miles or more away from even having to begin thinking about an issue suck as kids, but if we ever became serious and she didn't want them (I know lots of people, both men and women who don't) I could just get snipped (easier procedure than for her to get her tubes tied).


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## vadsy (Dec 2, 2010)

colchar said:


> I'm bragging.


the reason for this whole thread


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## Verne (Dec 29, 2018)

When I was 35 and my marriage broke down, I used to make the joke that the only way I could date a woman my age, was to date 2 half my age. (My appearance belies my age).

I did date two 18 year olds for about 6mths. It was fun, braggish and rather healthy for the cardio and libido, but it got tiring both physically and mentally. It's wasn't easy keeping up at times socially. I had my 2 kids and worked full time and had already lived the life they were just starting. I say enjoy it for what it becomes, and just roll with it. If it works in the long run, AWESOME......if not, then it is another experience you can relate back to.


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## bw66 (Dec 17, 2009)

colchar said:


> ... I could just get snipped (easier procedure than for her to get her tubes tied).


At your age, you should already be snipped. You don't want to be teaching them to drive when you're 65, or paying for college at 70! Just 
sayin'.


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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

For those mentioning keeping up, particularly socially, I should point out that she doesn't do much. Since she is on her own and is paying her own bills, she has more responsibilities than your average 19 year old. Today and tomorrow, for example, she is working both of her jobs on the same day so will be putting in 12+ hours days both days, then a ten hour day at one job on Sunday. She isn't exactly rolling out of bars shitfaced at 3am. If she misses work due to partying, she doesn't eat. In many ways she is an adult already.


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

bw66 said:


> At your age, you should already be snipped. You don't want to be teaching them to drive when you're 65, or paying for college at 70! Just
> sayin'.


No, but he may want to date their friends


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## Lola (Nov 16, 2014)

Screw all the negativity that you have experienced so far just do what you want. Life is too short and it’s your life anyways. If you make a mistake you only have yourself to blame. Like Nike says, “Just do it”!


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## jb welder (Sep 14, 2010)

colchar said:


> Today and tomorrow, for example, she is working both of her jobs on the same day so will be putting in 12+ hours days both days, then a ten hour day at one job on Sunday.


So I guess she won't be getting her grade 13 then.


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

When I was 49 my daughter was 23. The idea that one of my friends might be thinking about dating my daughter at that time is just creepy - no matter how you care to rationalize it .

I'll bet she's a liberal too


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## Dorian2 (Jun 9, 2015)

I don't think other peoples negative experience should be any indicator of what you have going. Being smart and professional, you already know that. Again, good luck with the relationship. Hope it works out.


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2019)

White socks pulled up to your knees.
Pants pulled up past your navel.

You know, what you normally wear.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)




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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

jb welder said:


> So I guess she won't be getting her grade 13 then.


LMAO

Although there’s always home skoolin.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)




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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)




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## sillyak (Oct 22, 2016)

Do you really see a relationship with an age gap like that?

How much life have you lived that she hasn't? How much can you really relate with someone where the world is just opening up to them vs. Someone who is at the age where you start looking to lean back and take it easier ect.

Plus, and this is just my humble opinion, it's creepy, no matter how mature she is.

The half your age plus 7 rule of thumb is remarkably reasonable.


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## CMCRAWFORD (Mar 17, 2014)

My wife is 5 years younger and that’s plenty for me. The fact my daughter is about to turn 19 is also making it hard for me to provide a supportive comment. I could not help but feel she was giving up her future.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)




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## colchar (May 22, 2010)

As I've said, anything that happened would be a casual thing as neither of us has room in our lives for anything more serious right now. If things progressed, we would cross that bridge when we came to it. I've barely talked to her this week - she has been working 12 hour days and I have been sick (going back to work tomorrow after having canceled my classes all week, but should probably be taking tomorrow off too) - so there is nothing actually going on right now. It just looks like that is where it could be going, but nothing has happened yet.


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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

ex nihilo nihil fit


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## Guitar101 (Jan 19, 2011)

Wardo said:


> ex nihilo nihil fit


Had to Google it. "out of nothing comes nothing"


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