# These boots are made for...



## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

...walking. YouTube - Nancy Sinatra - These Boots Are Made for Walkin'

Okay, vague question, but...When do you leave a band? How much crap do you tolerate before you call it a day? Compromise, but how much?

The reason I ask is I'm growing weary of the good old boy attitude in one of my bands that seems to nurture a lack of preparation and commitment. We're all friends, and some of these guys I've played with on and off for 10 years or more, but more often than not our live arrangements suffer for lack of preparation or just forgetfulness. It's been suggested that maybe I take it all less seriously and just jam it out...something I can be comfortable with except that it sounds amateur when no one knows what's going on. It's a small market for gigs and bands here, and I like to play, so putting another band together takes a while.

Btw, if I quit I don't think it'll harm the friendships, we're more mature than that.

Peace, Mooh.


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## ronmac (Sep 22, 2006)

A band is like a 4 or 5 way marriage, complete with mood swings, changes in personal direction, and a lot of "it's you, not me". 

I have been in the same situation a few times, and can understand your frustration. In my situation, when this occurs it has always been about a lack of focus or common goal. I have seen even the most dedicated slacker gain new focus if there was an important goal or project ahead.


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## ronmac (Sep 22, 2006)

double post.....


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## washburned (Oct 13, 2006)

as the old punchline goes, "if you're in s##t and happy keep your mouth shut" applies. I'd say if you and your mates are gigging regularly in your small market and the audiences don't seem to care about the level of finesse, then go with it, unless musical integrity is more important than compromise. I gigged a lot more when I just showed up and played than when I tried to build the really great band, but now that I'm older I don't want to be playing out 'til all hours so I'm more content to get together with some buddies and work on music no one is ever going to hear.


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## marcos (Jan 13, 2009)

I was getting a bit bored in my trio and one of the signer was not pulling is weight after over 30 years together. To top it off, he was my ex brother in law but I finally broke out and joined another duo to see what would happen.That was over 3 years ago and still gigging.Had to confront the bro-in-law and after he told me he was calling it quits, the other signer and I left and kept our duo going.So I play in two duos and it works out fine.Your situation seems a bit touchy as you said but I would not hesitate to make the move.There will be some growing pains in the next group but it will stir your creative juices and permit you to shine a bit more.Good luck with your new project if it happens.


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## bw66 (Dec 17, 2009)

There is nothing wrong with starting another band while still playing with the existing one - if you have the time. And there's nothing wrong with telling your current bandmates _why_ you're starting another band.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Putting another cover band together is a pain, but it's really not the issue. I've worked in simultaeous bands most of my adult life. There's already a jazz trio rehearsing, and a couple of duos on the side, plus I play lots of one-off stuff from sessions to gigs, and I teach music full time. Nonetheless I am still fully prepared for the cover band when most of the others are not. 

Suddenly, there's a band meeting called for tonight (I didn't arrange it, the band leader did), so there may be a resolution to this sooner rather than later.

Frankly, I wouldn't mind not playing Sweet Home Alabama, Brown-Eyed Girl, or Mustang Sally for a while.

Peace, Mooh.


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## hollowbody (Jan 15, 2008)

bw66 said:


> There is nothing wrong with starting another band while still playing with the existing one - if you have the time. And there's nothing wrong with telling your current bandmates _why_ you're starting another band.


Agreed. As long as one band doesn't suck up all your time and make the other suffer, shouldn't be an issue. I'm in a 5 piece cover band and I'm trying to start up an originals band on the side because I want to do my own stuff too. No problems there.

Also, I would say it's time to move on when it's not fun anymore. That's usually a pretty good rule of thumb for almost anything. Once it stops being fun and begins to seem more like a chore, it's time to quit.

Look at it this way: Do you get excited to go to rehearsals and shows, or is it more like "oh man, again?"


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## jimihendrix (Jun 27, 2009)

You could always introduce a new set list consisting of all "breakup" songs...they might clue in that you're a bit unhappy and want to "jump ship"...

[video=youtube;SbyAZQ45uww]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww[/video]


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Haha...good idea! 

Man overboard!

Peace, Mooh.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

A band meeting resolved a couple of issues, but I'm going to be bored.

Peace, Mooh.


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## Morkolo (Dec 9, 2010)

hollowbody said:


> Agreed. As long as one band doesn't suck up all your time and make the other suffer, shouldn't be an issue. I'm in a 5 piece cover band and I'm trying to start up an originals band on the side because I want to do my own stuff too. No problems there.
> 
> *Also, I would say it's time to move on when it's not fun anymore. That's usually a pretty good rule of thumb for almost anything. Once it stops being fun and begins to seem more like a chore, it's time to quit.*
> 
> Look at it this way: Do you get excited to go to rehearsals and shows, or is it more like "oh man, again?"


I couldn't agree more. Played in this one band for close to a year, really good players but they loved to bicker over the smallest things. It got to the point where one would look at the other the wrong way and it would be a borderline fist fight, I got sick of being a ref and left. Life's too short to waste time on something if you don't enjoy it.


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

Bored and music shouldn't be in the same thread....


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## Merlin (Feb 23, 2009)

I'm starting a surf/spy/instro band. How's your reading on bass, Mooh?


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Merlin said:


> I'm starting a surf/spy/instro band. How's your reading on bass, Mooh?


Not bad thanks, but I just started in a jazz/blues instrumental trio with a pianist and drummer. It's my first bass thing in a while and I'm digging it. Mostly fretless 5 string with some fretted 5 string.

Peace, Mooh.


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## Merlin (Feb 23, 2009)

You should try and get out to the jazz jam I host in Stratford on Sunday afternoons. I'm subbing out the next two, but I'll be back in April.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Merlin said:


> You should try and get out to the jazz jam I host in Stratford on Sunday afternoons. I'm subbing out the next two, but I'll be back in April.


Sean at L&M (we used to play) was telling me about it. But, Sunday's aren't good for me, what with church music, band practice, and family obligations. Maybe if things slow down a bit...

Peace, Mooh.


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## david henman (Feb 3, 2006)

...i got so fed up with musicians trying to get me to lower my standards that i finally started my own group. finally, it all makes sense.


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