# Beer Bug Blues



## RIFF WRATH (Jan 22, 2007)

I live in the country adjacent to corn fields and am plagued by beer bugs.(latin name: beer-ass bug-ass)
Have tried just about everything to eliminate and/or discourage the pesky little critters, just short of using a shot gun and burning the corn crop.
I thought very, very briefly about quitting beer drinking outside but after a few moments of deep thought this was decidedly not a viable option.

I came to the following conclusions: The little beggars must be trapped and eradicated. Scientific experimentation was deemed necessary.

I proceeded to set up 2 traps stratigically located adjacent to my outside lounging area. 20 ft from the epicenter. The traps consist of clear plastic tubs (the kind that you get those highly addictive chocolate covered almonds in). The clear plastic affords high visibility to monitor the effectiveness of the traps from a semi reclining position. Note: a larger trap was momentarily considered but given the expense of the bait the smaller size just made more sense. An added option for the traps was a wooden flat paint mixing stick duct taped vertically to the side of the trap. Note: may have to shim the stick.The theory was that the beer bugs would crash into the stick and fall into the trap. (don't laugh, I read about this somewhere)
The bait I used initailly was 2 beers I discovered in the bottom of my golf bag from last years season. I found, almost immediately that the bugs are very selective and prefer fresh beer.
The next bait I tried was a girly (oops-politically incorrect),low fat, watery, diet beer someone left in my shop fridge. After careful observation, deliberation, and much irritation I deduced that they preferred my particular brand of beer.
I fnally gave in and used my manly (oops-politically incorrect), full bodied (oops again) locally brewed, 2 day old Canadian beer. Boy-Oh-Boy, they went for it. They sure did and do like my taste in beer. In fact they like it so much (not for the faint of heart) they dive, jump, fall right in, drink away, get drunk and after dog paddling for a while pass out and drown. Note: do not overfill the trap, only about 1/2 full - can get overly expensive and wastefull.
The traps were found to be about 80% effective. For the other 20% I found that suitable head apparrel is required and of course, untuck your shirt.
Costs may vary, but approx. 1 pint per day.
Note: only authentic duct tape was used in these trials. A daily refill with fresh bait is recommended, especially if the bait becomes contaminated with rain water.
Disclaimer: this author can not be held responsible for any accidents that occur while loading the trap mechanisms. Actual results may vary.
PS: am currently looking for suggestions for the disposal of the thousands of little beer marinated, protein filled crunchy bodies. (perhaps saute'd on staek?)
cheers, and enjoy the great outdoors
RIFF WRATH


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## noobcake (Mar 8, 2006)

Call me ignorant, but what in the world is a beer bug??


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## Michelle (Aug 21, 2006)

Haven't a clue what Beer Bugs are. Are they like crusty 2-legged ones that show up anytime you open a beer outside? We have 'em in our neighborhood but they generally keep their distance from me until they are totally sauced and/or I'm jammin in the garage. Worse than friggin June bugs. Don't let them near the keyboard!

Riff, go ahead and make that into a song.


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## RIFF WRATH (Jan 22, 2007)

Beer Bugs are small nasty creatures that look like a small malnurished lady bug and range from tiny, just annoying, to thin lady bug size and extremely annoying.They are black with tiny white dots. never took the time to count the dots. They are indiginous to my yard most definetly, but I honestly don't know their extent in southern Ontario. Word has it that they were introduced to eat another, non annoying, bug that eats crops (same as those darn fake lady bugs they introduced to eat the aphids that were the ladybug's main diet. the lady bug soon to be on the endangered species) They get in your hair, and down your shirt collar and if you don't cover the neck of your beer beverage, they also get in your mouth. Local media says they don't bite but I beg to differ. Regardless, they have sharp pointy little feet that are quite annoying walking on your skin. IMHO as much as a pain as those darn mosquitos. 
Consider yourself lucky you don't have them.....yet. I can send you all kinds of dead samples if you like.
Cheers
RIFF WRATH.
PS
anyone willing to collaborate on the lyrics for the "beer bug blues"?


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## kat_ (Jan 11, 2007)

4-spotted Sap Beetle, right?


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## RIFF WRATH (Jan 22, 2007)

dunno
I'll have to have a few pints after work and observe the little beggers with my glasses on. preferrable a dead one. I think they prefer beer to sap.
cheers
RIFF WRATH


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## Jeff Flowerday (Jan 23, 2006)

Beer bug: A cap that's on so tight you have to get out a bottle opener.


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## simescan (May 15, 2007)

Do they look like this?
Glischrochilus quadrisignatus


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## I_cant_play (Jun 26, 2006)

never heard of those before. If they're anything like the black flies in Manitoba you have my sympathy..


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## Lester B. Flat (Feb 21, 2006)

Need Pics........


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## RIFF WRATH (Jan 22, 2007)

Being a weeknite and all - went easy on the bait but I did squish a few.

proper common name is a sap beetle or a picnic beetle. manitoba has the little beggers also.

for what its worth: if you google under canada under beer bugs the first site gives details and the 6th site has a picture.

as I mentioned before, I have lots of specimens if you want to pay the postage - LOL

cheers
RIFF


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## FenderMan (May 24, 2007)

You can keep them but feel free to send beer :food-smiley-004:


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## MelD (Jun 22, 2007)

*Beer Bugs*

Maybe you could try bottling them and selling like the tequila with the worm.


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## Hamm Guitars (Jan 12, 2007)

Do you live in a rural area where someone is either growing Cattle Corn or has a Corn Crop that is being used for Ethenol? If you see crops dying in the field, chances are this is where they are living.


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## RIFF WRATH (Jan 22, 2007)

Ha
the suckers haven't been around for the past few days 'cause of the weather i suppose. kinda takes the challenge out of drinking beer in the great outdoors.

cheers
RIFF


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