# How do you relax/decompress/destress?



## Budda (May 29, 2007)

I've had a hell of a weekend, and it got me thinking of what I can do to relax and relieve the amount of stress I'm feeling right now. Unfortunately, some of my ideas are ones I can't use right now as they involve friends that aren't here. I'll probably be going for another walk soon, then maybe try to sleep.

I'm just curious as to how other people of the forum destress when things get a bit rough.

Go!


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

I play Pirate...... just went out again today


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## zjq426 (Aug 23, 2009)

I would say get drunk then get some sleep...highly not recommended.
Maybe do some mediocre drinking then get plenty of sleeping?
Time erases everything after all.


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## kat_ (Jan 11, 2007)

Best stress reliever I know of is playing fetch with Max. Do you have a dog?


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## jimihendrix (Jun 27, 2009)

i just go to my "happy place"...










or listen to this...










or...to quote alice cooper..."i picked up my guitar to blast away the clouds" (teenage lament '74)...in other words...i like to monkey around on my guitar...


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

kat_ said:


> Best stress reliever I know of is playing fetch with Max. Do you have a dog?


I don't yet have a dog, but when i have the place and the means to get one I plan on getting one.

nice boating pic up there, i only got out on our family boat twice this year .

you'd thing guitar would be therapy for all players, but for me it makes things worse not better. That being said, i now owe my roommate a new high E string!


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## Powdered Toast Man (Apr 6, 2006)

I like to jam.


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## snacker (Jun 26, 2008)

i usually go for a run, play some drums, play with the dogs, cook a kickass meal and drink several dark ales


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## sneakypete (Feb 2, 2006)

painting...










drawing...










photography...and just going to this shrine on a weekday when theres nobody around is really relaxing, it`s about a 20 minute bike ride from our place, there are some closer but this one is pretty big and has koi...










and of course buying and bringing old beauties like these back to life, I think I have as much fun doing that as I do playing them after...











I cook, ride my Cannondale and regularly exercise at home, really defrustrates me.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Sex is good.
Play guitar, mandolin, banjo, bass, whatever.
Play with the dogs.
Walk, or ride my bicycle.
Head for the family cottage.
Read.
Tinker in the workshop.

Peace, Mooh.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

I would loove to be able to jam, but I don't have a place to jam with my drummer friends .

Peter, you do amazing drawings! I also enjoy photography, although after the initial high of owning a camera, I haven't been actively out taking pictures. I just realized, I meant to go around the city using the bus system and take pictures of things I think are interesting.

Anybody else?


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

What I am doing right now.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

Robert1950 said:


> What I am doing right now.


Do we want to know? hwopv


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## aC2rs (Jul 9, 2007)

Oddly enough - I like to bang away on my guitars ...


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

Budda said:


> you'd thing guitar would be therapy for all players, but for me it makes things worse not better. That being said, i now owe my roommate a new high E string!


Try an acoustic .... playing electric by yourself is too much like practice and, as you say, can be frustrating in it's own way. An acoustic, on the other hand, is a complete musical therapy system .... or as Harry Chapin put it: "A six string orchestra".


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## Big_Daddy (Apr 2, 2009)

aC2rs said:


> Oddly enough - I like to bang away on my guitars ...


Ditto! Music to soothe the savage beast within.


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## Rugburn (Jan 14, 2009)

Mooh said:


> Sex is good.



What about those of us who are married?!?!.......9kkhhd

Honestly, try to have a few laughs. Laughter is, after all, the best medicine.


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## Starbuck (Jun 15, 2007)

I recently discovered mountain biking, there's something so exhilarating about scaring the crap outta yourself! Not to mention a really great workout & stress buster, even better when I ake my dog with me.


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## david henman (Feb 3, 2006)

...an hour or two before bedtime: a shot of bourbon, a toke, a guitar and pen and paper and a cassette recorder.

-dh


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## Hamstrung (Sep 21, 2007)

Get a hold of some old Three Stooges videos and watch Moe slap your troubles away!


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## ezcomes (Jul 28, 2008)

seen some good ones...

thru the summer months it let it out at baseball...but when i've had a bad day i like to go home...turn the amp up...hit up a playlist on my ipod, turn the stereo up and just play...i can feel real refreshed after it's done, and surprisingly sometimes a number of hours can disappear...just make sure its during daylight hours so that you don't get a noise complaint...

or i'll find something to fix...that works too...get my mind off the problem and on the the next...


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

I go to work. Honest to goodness, I have never had a "vacation" that was as easy and relaxed as going to work.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

ditch the mountain bike and ride one of these:










or, rent a small honda generator, take your rig out into the woods somewhere, get high, and turn all the knobs to 11. :rockon2:

or, take a flight in one of these:


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## canadian tyler (Jul 7, 2009)

like Starbuck said, go for a bike ride. Mountain or road, it brings back the kid in you.

Or if your of the temperament, rock climbing is amazing. All other worries,(or thoughts in general) melt away when your clinging to the side of a mountain.

just do something fun that is physically and mentally exhausting and get a good nights sleep.


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## Lincoln (Jun 2, 2008)

First I go hug my dog.
Then I set my G-Dec on a slow blues backing track, hit start, and let it flow till I've forgotten whatever it was that stressed me out in the first place.


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## jimsz (Apr 17, 2009)

Budda said:


> I'm just curious as to how other people of the forum destress when things get a bit rough.
> 
> Go!


I play the drums for about a half-hour at warp speed. I'm not a drummer, but it sure gets rid of the stress.

For me, playing drums is stress management. :smile:


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## greco (Jul 15, 2007)

Budda...*once you have found a way to relax/decompress/de-stress that works for you * I would suggest that you try and look at the root cause(s) (after you have relaxed and re-energized, of course) of the stress.

Can you reduce/eliminate *any* of these stressors?

Can you say "no" or "maybe later" to obligations that are stressing you?

Can you put your stressors in priority of worst to least...some of the stressors on the bottom of the list might turn out to be more worries that actual reasons to be stressed.

Can you reorganize your schedule in any way that reduces stress?

You get my drift...regroup, reorganize, etc

Treating the symptoms is good, treating the cause is better.

Cheers

Dave


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## mario (Feb 18, 2006)

allthumbs56 said:


> Try an acoustic .... playing electric by yourself is too much like practice and, as you say, can be frustrating in it's own way. An acoustic, on the other hand, is a complete musical therapy system .... or as Harry Chapin put it: "A six string orchestra".


Great advice! Rather than doodling up and down the fretboard on the electric, I find it really relaxing just to play some easy songs on an acoustic. I also find running to be a GREAT stress breaker. 

Good Luck!


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

greco said:


> Budda...*once you have found a way to relax/decompress/de-stress that works for you * I would suggest that you try and look at the root cause(s) (after you have relaxed and re-energized, of course) of the stress.
> 
> Can you reduce/eliminate *any* of these stressors?
> 
> ...


I used to have things that worked, I think - but right now I feel exhausted. It sucks when you feel like you don't have the energy to make yourself feel better, especially when mere months ago you were mint condition! I'll answer your questions in order, Dave.

1. yes I can.
2. I sort of keep putting things off that I shouldnt, which contributes to stress. I am a great procrastinator 
3. I could probably do that if I sat down and tried, putting them in priority
4. I need a schedule, actually *L*

Before I moved home, I was hitting the gym 5 days a week, jamming 1 or 2 days a week, seeing my friends, and having a good time. Then I moved home, things slowly went downhill. Halfway through the summer, my girlfriend said it was done - she was the reason i moved home, lesson learned. Had 2 jobs at 7 days a week and within a couple of weeks, one of my best friends moved home - so I had 4 or 5 people to see outside of work. Moved back to the city all excited to see my friends. Got the wake-up call in the form of 2 days of classes, 3 days of placement (which is something I'm still a touch nervous about, but was most nervous the day before it started), needing a job, and realizing that things were really different this time. I need to make a schedule for hitting the gym, I've applied for part time work again. I know a great drummer and a great bassist, but I have nowhere to jam. I haven't seen a kit get played in a jam setting since June. I'm also having a hell of a time getting over said ex - first love, knowing I could put a ring on her finger in a few years, all that fun should-have-been-high-school-happened-in-college stuff!

I don't like dragging my personal life into forums, but it seems to be happening lol. I know full well that things will get better, and that I will get back on track... and I sit here wondering why I'm not forcing it to happen sooner.

I don't know what's more annoying: feeling like there's a problem, or knowing a lot of ways to move much closer to the solution and doing barely anything about it.

And as for the acoustic thing, that has made it worse - I was playing acoustic before grabbing that electric that I broke a string on . That and my acoustic has been missing it's low E for over half a year I think, because I need a new bridge pin..


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

About 11 years ago I crashed and burned from a high stress job. Suddenly I could sleep and I slept more than I ever had before, but I wasn't able to multi-task (weird, since it's not normally a problem). I was ready to work full-time about a year later but eased into it. I took unsupervised jobs, took my watch off, ate well, exercised, changed deadlines to goals...

Stress sucks, man, I almost lost my house.

Ten years later I've had ten years of normal life.

If it gets the better of you, get help.

Peace, Mooh.


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## Guest (Sep 21, 2009)

Mooh said:


> took my watch off


I did this maybe 5-6 years ago and after a month of initial panic my stress level definitely dropped. I'm no longer counting minutes or chasing hard time. It annoys some people, but if your output is high and high quality you've got yourself covered.



> changed deadlines to goals...


This one didn't work for me. At least not at work. We now have "goals with deadlines" and "not meeting your goals" is not a good thing in this day and age!


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

Mooh, I've had a couple of people suggest counselling... kind of annoying in a way, even though I have friends that make use of the college's counsellors.

Go figure, I'm in social service work, graduating 2010 *L*.

I wouldn't mind having my bike around, mountain biking was the "in" thing for me and my friends 5 years ago.

I know that having a schedule and being productive will help.. but I keep letting myself not do it. I need to just do it lol. Kinda like when I decided to take the gym seriously last year.

Oddly enough, with the watch thing, I haven't worn my watch in 2 or 3 years - and it was my 16th birthday present, battery is still going, and it's in good condition. I used to check my phone a lot though, which isn't any better. I need to adjust my watch band so it fits again, it's a nice watch


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

Robert1950 said:


> What I am doing right now.





Budda said:


> Do we want to know? hwopv


Yeah, I shouldn't have been so vague. :smile: GC is a destressor for me. So is The Onion, LandoverBaptist.org, etc.


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## greco (Jul 15, 2007)

Budda..when asked those questions in my previous post, I wasn't really expecting you to answer them in a response...just to think about them. 

However, you answered them (Thanks ...sorry that I wasn't more clear initially) and shared more information..maybe that was helpful for you. I hope so...really.

Just a couple of thoughts..*.you don't have to post a response BTW. *

The feelings of exhaustion *might* be cyclic with the lack of motivation to get doing something. Breaking the (lack of) motivation barrier can be really tough (because you think you are too exhausted, hence not interested, hence why bother, hence nada). "Dragging' (that is what it feel like...before you actually start doing the activity) yourself to do things, both that you enjoy and that must be done, is one of the first steps. Once you get going at either of the types of activities, it should start to help. 

Start simple....a walk is exercise.... replace that E string....one, albeit minor, thing is accomplished...and so on.

Just some thoughts for you to ponder (or not...LOL).

Cheers

Dave


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

Thanks, Dave. I'll post a little response lol - I have a new walking circuit, takes me about 35 minutes to do. It does help


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Not all possible solutions work for all people all the time. The ones I suggested worked and continue to work for me. 

Folks *do* get annoyed when therapy is suggested, but I was raised by a clergyman who was very skilled at it, so I believe in it...if the therapist is good. I didn't get much, but enough to satisfy my insurer, myself, and my GP. I was anxious for a change so I was motivated. Supportive family helps a lot too.

The reality is that most of us are capable of healing ourselves by recognizing stress before it hurts us. Funny though, I used to teach occupational health and safety adult classes, a large component of which was stress issues, so even though I recognized it in myself, I was powerless to act on it. Too many outside influences like ever changing government regulations, contract and contractual deadlines, hearings and tribunals, threats, travel, lying bosses...

Truth is, guitar saved me, because that is what I do now...and it was there all along.

Peace, Mooh.


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## Bevo (Nov 24, 2006)

Stress is a bitch absolutly and right now I am at a high level, lots of stuff at work with a demanding boss.
For me its hard to go to work and I am not interested but I did relize something today.
Summer hockey ended 3 weeks ago and winter is starting this week. When I play regularly I can take Way more stress than normal which keeps me grounded.
Saying that maybe the walk needs a touch of adrenilen.

Worst thing to do is drink and wallow in you black thoughts. Easier said than done but am sure you get my drift.

Also remember you are just finishing school and the world is yours, the only thing stopping you is yourself. I was 20, 23 years ago and one of the girls I was dating is back in my life, her and my girl are great friends..weird but it works.
Girls come and go and the first one is hard to get over, gym helps, lots to look at eh!

Last thing that always helps is to mix up your routine, if you do coffee at 10 every day do it at 11, new people and you never know who wants to chat..

Stay positive, you have everything at your fingertips, don't let a couple of bumps slow you down!

Bev


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

Cheers, Bev 

I think developing a routine and sticking to it will help out a fair bit - that's what ended up happening last semester, and things were going pretty well.

Now to get off my ass and do it!


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## greco (Jul 15, 2007)

Budda said:


> Cheers, Bev
> 
> Now to get off my ass and do it!


NOW...that IS the attitude to have. 

An old saying that I like is:

"Worry is like a rocking chair...it gives you something to do, but gets you nowhere" ....FWIW

Cheers

Dave


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

My issue is always the actual getting around to it. Procrastination is too easy!

I get fed up, I get more fed up, and eventually I do something about it.

I think I'm pretty damn close. I give it a week tops.


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## greco (Jul 15, 2007)

I have been considering joining a club for procrastinators...I just keep putting it off....besides, they keep postponing the meetings. hwopv

Cheers

Dave


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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

surfing the web, sleeping in, eating comfort foods without guilt.


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## zontar (Oct 25, 2007)

Mooh said:


> took my watch off


I never liked wearing a watch--and even when I did I usually took it off to play guitar.

I haven't worn one in at least 12-13 years.


But to answer more specifically how I relax/decompress/destress- 
I play guitar-loud aggressive electric if it's destressing, quieter stuff to relax.
Bluesy for any mood.

I read. Sometimes I just pop into a library.

I surf the net or I play computer games.

Or I just hang out with certain people in my life.


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## IzeTheGuitarGuy (Aug 23, 2009)

i play guitar it brings me to a diffrent world where nothing but me and the guitar matter...:rockon2:


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

IzeTheGuitarGuy said:


> i play guitar it brings me to a diffrent world where nothing but me and the guitar matter...:rockon2:


I only get into that world on occasion, and mostly it happens when I'm jamming with someone. Sometimes I'm lucky and it happens when I'm playing by myself.


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## guitarsmark (Jun 1, 2009)

My apartment gets REALLY clean when I am really stressy - I am the same way - if it gets over the top, I won't touch my guitar - I launched one across the room about 12 years ago, and realized where my breaking point was. So, I clean house... 

When I am ALMOST at breaking point, sometimes I throw on headphones, and BLAST the guitar, OR I just pluck along to some bluesy stuff.... I have gone from a full scale shred solo to a chillin blues backing track in 10 mins. 

When I need to play to de-stress - I throw on GnR & try and keep up with slash on his solo's, all of them, the ones I don't have any clue on, I try and work out - I calm faster if I don't know what he is playing because it keeps me focused there.

Just my $0.02...

Mark


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## david henman (Feb 3, 2006)

...mark, "cleaning house" is not only a great stress reliever, it also works to fight depression, something i discovered purely by accident. i won't bore you with my story, but the upshot is that cleaning house or, in my case, completely re-arranging the house, gives you a sense of regaining control over your life.

cheers!

-dh



guitarsmark said:


> My apartment gets REALLY clean when I am really stressy - I am the same way - if it gets over the top, I won't touch my guitar - I launched one across the room about 12 years ago, and realized where my breaking point was. So, I clean house...
> 
> When I am ALMOST at breaking point, sometimes I throw on headphones, and BLAST the guitar, OR I just pluck along to some bluesy stuff.... I have gone from a full scale shred solo to a chillin blues backing track in 10 mins.
> 
> ...


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

dave, good to know!


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## fraser (Feb 24, 2007)

i have a pretty demanding job- im plenty burned out at the end of the day, my body too sore for physical activity, so if im not playing or tinkering with instruments (often im too mentally burned for that),
i like to cruise forums, cook something good to eat, and play medal of honour online. i go to a server full of guys with rocket launchers and machine guns, and snipe them with a bolt action rifle lol. challenging, but fun.
i also love watching historical things on tv, watching the leafs play, and reading.
really, regardless of how down or angry or fed up i feel at the end of the day, once i get home to my own little world and start doing the things i like to do, its all good. beer helps too.:smile:


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## vds5000 (Apr 14, 2008)

*Physical activity*

Even if you're tired, doing something physical will help burn off stress. It forces your brain to release chemicals that will help do the trick. It doesn't even have to be crazy physical activity. Try going for walk for 20-30min. While you're on that walk, don't dwell on the things that are stressing you out. Instead, take notice on your surroundings. If you can do this with a female - all the better. :smile:

You know, I used to get stressed bigtime when I was a student at UW. So, one day I decided to go to the gym and try weights. Well, it's been way too many years than I'd like to admit, but I'm still at it. I go 4-5x/week for about 90min/visit and it really helps. Plus as an added bonus, I can benchpress 100lbs more than my body weight! Hahahaha!


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

note to self: don't try to steal his stuff *L*

Gym tomorrow for me, it's been over a week


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

still havent' seen the inside of the gym lately.

still having a hell of a time dealing with stress. Looking for strength to overcome adversity and I feel like I'm coming up very short.

I feel bad for all the other people in my position or worse.


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## Bevo (Nov 24, 2006)

As the great Budda once said "Versatality and an open mind does wonders"
That advice works for your situation as well, its a great life lesson.

If you knew you had a great amp yet it sounded bad what would you do?
You would keep at it till you got it right, if all your usual tricks didn't work you would have to try something new...right?

I played hockey tonight with a great group of guys and it was laugh after laugh. Everyone was working hard yet having fun, couple beers after hit the spot.
It totaly cleared my mind.

3 years ago i was in your shoes, just bumbed out all the time and unable to shake it. Started to play and being with great guys and doing a hard sport was just what I needed. 
People were amazed that the first time I put on skates was at 40, now at 43 next week I can't live without it.
Your cure is right under your nose..


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

Personally it's the basics for me.


(Sex, hot tub, a nice fat doobie, and some good music)


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

no sex (i still love the ex and she's part of my problem), no doobs, no hot tub, i got tunes though.

i cant remember the last time things seemed this bad lol. i have some great things... and i have things that make me hate waking up.


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

Budda said:


> no sex (i still love the ex and she's part of my problem), no doobs, no hot tub, i got tunes though.
> 
> i cant remember the last time things seemed this bad lol. i have some great things... and i have things that make me hate waking up.


Drop and do twenty-five angry push-ups. More if necessary.


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## Starbuck (Jun 15, 2007)

Have a really, really good cry. Seriously. Cook yourself a good meal, have a shower and go for a nice long walk. I know it's easy for all of us to say, we have no idea what you're up against. 

If you're a reader you could try to lose yourself in a good book. Good luck!


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## vds5000 (Apr 14, 2008)

*Go for a walk*

Seriously Justin, just walk tonight after dinner. Walk for about 30 min. If you can find a trail - even better! And don't think about the stuff that is stressing you out while going for that walk. 


The g/f thing, don't worry - it'll fade over time. I've gone through the same sort of crap.


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