# frustrated..but don't want to give up.



## tina

Hi
I am an older female beginner (60)who started guitar lessons 4 months ago. I knew nothing about music at all. I am going to weekly lessons
and I am on the last song of alfred's basic guitar method book 1. The song is take me home country homes and I have been on that song
for 3 lessons I cannot seem to get the timing with dotted quarter notes the timing is for 4/4. 1&2&3&4&. I am the point where I am embarrassed
to go I still cannot play everything I learnt without looking at the strings and sounding very terrible . My question is I hate to quit maybe lessons every other week would be better but am not sure they would do that as that would give me more time to try to learn, but am at the point where I can't continue the way am going.

I have joined guitar tricks and I was wondering if I could learn on line as I hate to give up. Any
suggestions or help would be appreciated.


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## Steadfastly

Glad to hear you don't want to give up. From your post, I don't think you are a whole lot different than a lot of people. Many people take a lot longer to learn a new song than you are. 

I would suggest this site. It has been endorsed by many on this forum and many world famous guitarists as well. http://www.justinguitar.com

I'm not sure of your practice schedule but if you can pick up your guitar every day for even five minutes, that will help. If you can practice at least three days a week for a total of one hour per each day you will progress. Let us know how things are going for you.


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## shoretyus

A friend of mine started to play @ 64. She could play 20 songs by the time she got her pension cheque... perseverance pays off. It will fall into place.


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## deadear

lessons are not for everyone and some of the best players ever never had a formal lesson.


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## Scotty

I didn't like lessons, and couldn't stand TAB. Youtube videos on the other hand and my sons Rocksmith game seem to be much better tools. Keep at it, you will get to the point where it is enjoyable


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## bluzfish

Personally, I have never been a fan of the Alfred's, Mel Bay or similar methods of learning guitar without simultaneously learning some basic chords and songs for simple enjoyment. Of course theory is important to learn, but most people would like to be able to play through the chords of Amazing Grace or Proud Mary or other favourite song after a few months. When most people start playing the guitar, I'm sure they have visions of accompanying sing-alongs around the campfire or at the family Christmas gathering. When they don't even feel close to being able to do that, it can become uninteresting and discouraging after a while.

I think the OP should tell her instructor her frustrations and if things don't work out the way she'd like, she should find another teacher who will take her in the direction of her personal goals.


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## bw66

Dotted quarter notes are hard. Many guitar methods don't introduce them until much later than the Alfred series. (But they are key to a lot of great tunes!)

Maybe try clapping the rhythm while you count: *1* & 2 *&* *3* & 4 *&* (clapping on the bold underlined beats - then try a slightly softer clap on the "ands")


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## Steadfastly

Dotted notes are 1/2 the value of the note they are used with, so a dotted quarter note a quarter note plus 1/2 the value of the quarter note or a quarter note plus an eighth note. Perhaps thinking along this line will help with your timing. Personally, I think you may be expecting this to be perfect too early in your time playing the guitar.


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## fredyfreeloader

Hey Tina there's an old saying "keep on keeping on" just do it. 

One very effective way to get used to quarter and eighth notes is to count out loud as you play, ONE and TWO and THREE and FOUR and, then your back to one. I know it may sound silly and some people will ask why you are doing that, you can tell them it's fun or simply say I'm learning to count to four. When I say count out loud I mean out loud so your ear can hear what you are saying, "don't whisper, ever".


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## bw66

tina said:


> Hi
> I am an older female beginner (60)who started guitar lessons 4 months ago. ... I am on the last song of alfred's basic guitar method book 1.


I just re-read your post. If you're on the last song of book one after four months, you're doing okay!


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## Budda

Have you tried faking your way through it? Play it as best you can without looking at your hands. Yes mistakes will be made, but ignore that for now and just get through it. Repeat a few times. Then slow it down and try to play it perfectly. Eventually it should meet in the middle. Playing without looking at the fretboard takes a while - i recommend playing things you know well in a dark room.


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## Megalon

I have nightmares of Alfreds guitar method. I remember I was 8 and my brother was 9 and we took group lessons with two other kids. Imagine 4 horribly out of tune crappy acoustic guitars and an amazingly patient teacher who was trying his best to teach us those stupid songs nobody wanted to learn. I seem to remember one set of tunes More,Still More,More and More or something. It was just plinking on the E string but all I wanted to do was learn how to play Black Diamond by KISS. My suggestion is that you pick 2 or 3 songs you want to learn how to play and ask your teacher to help you learn those. You are paying for the lessons so get what you want from them.


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## zontar

Sometimes I hate dotted quarter notes, but one thing I sometimes do is to remember the feel of them, and then try to get that with the counting--it may seem odd to add another thing to the mix--but remembering the feel can help me get them.

I've been playing for years & years--and I still make mistakes--but it gets better--and fun.

Keep at it--get into the feel of the rhythm.


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## Guest

forget the book. lol.

[video=youtube;-KR7txrLvuY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KR7txrLvuY[/video]


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## JeremyP

Don't be discouraged!!! It takes time and tons of repittition. Those books were the bane of my existence when I was taking lessons as a kid. They make learning guitar VERY DRY. And 
nowadays it doesn't have to be. There are some amazing resources out there , that are not only brilliant for learning , they are also semi entertaining. Maybe take a break or spread your lessons further, but grab a basic chord sheet and start strumming. It's a little more rewarding because as soon as you learn G, D, C you can play hundreds of songs 

- - - Updated - - -


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## Adcandour

I would learn chords from a chord chart, so you can at least play songs to keep you interested while you rock 'ode to joy'. 

hated that hal leonard book; I had to quit after 4 lessons.


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## Guitar101

Playing guitar and piano for 50 years by ear. This thread makes me wonder how many "dotted quarter notes" I played and didn't even know it.


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## JBFairthorne

If playing guitar were easy...there would be a lot fewer guitars stuffed under staircases. Forget about perfection...it's a myth. Focus on YOUR enjoyment of the process.


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## shoretyus

No truer words were spoken


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## greco

JeremyP said:


> ...... It takes time and tons of *repittition. *


Nice touch!.....Sorry, I couldn't resist

Cheers

Dave


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## Chito

I'd go with the idea of learning songs instead. That's how I learned how to play. Focus on one song. Practice regularly, spend at least 15 minutes a day. If you want to learn faster, you'll need to practice longer than that. After you learn one song, then move on to the next. Tell us what kind of music or give us a list of songs, you would like to be able to play, and we'll tell you which one to start with.


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## JBFairthorne

I would tend to agree with the above statement except...that can get boring. Focus on maybe 5 songs (hopefully that contain some similar skills that can translate from one to the other) without putting too much emphasis on note for note.

Don't be afraid to put a song that is frustrating you aside for a while and work on some others. You would be surprised how often I put aside a song that's been frustrating me...come back to it a month (or a year) later and have it after a couple of times through.

I tend to have 4 lists in my youtube faves (playing with yt is MY method of learning)...which are constantly evolving.

1) My "set list". Songs me and my buddies are actively playing.
2) My "in the pipe" list. Newer songs we're working on but are "early days".
3) My "practice" list. Random songs I'm working on solo.
4) My "song idea" list. Songs I stumble across that I eventually hope to getting around to learning. This list is important (at least to me). A great song you heard on the radio or whatever can get lost in the shuffle so easily.


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## Steadfastly

JBFairthorne said:


> I would tend to agree with the above statement except...that can get boring. Focus on maybe 5 songs (hopefully that contain some similar skills that can translate from one to the other) without putting too much emphasis on note for note.
> 
> Don't be afraid to put a song that is frustrating you aside for a while and work on some others. You would be surprised how often I put aside a song that's been frustrating me...come back to it a month (or a year) later and have it after a couple of times through.
> 
> I tend to have 4 lists in my youtube faves (playing with yt is MY method of learning)...which are constantly evolving.
> 
> 1) My "set list". Songs me and my buddies are actively playing.
> 2) My "in the pipe" list. Newer songs we're working on but are "early days".
> 3) My "practice" list. Random songs I'm working on solo.
> 4) My "song idea" list. Songs I stumble across that I eventually hope to getting around to learning. This list is important (at least to me). A great song you heard on the radio or whatever can get lost in the shuffle so easily.


I think this is a great idea for learning songs. Having a slow down program to go along with this would be a helpful addition.


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## JHarasym

Steadfastly said:


> Having a slow down program to go along with this would be a helpful addition.


I use "The Amazing Slowdowner", change pitch and tempo, simple EQ, loop parts of a song, about $40 online when I bought it.


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## shoretyus

You can use the demo for just sections to. I have used it to learn intro tags and stuff. 


JHarasym said:


> I use "The Amazing Slowdowner", change pitch and tempo, simple EQ, loop parts of a song, about $40 online when I bought it.


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## Lola

Hi Tina! Learning guitar is a challenge. I have been playing for 5 years as of this February and I am finally starting to sound half decent! People get overwhelmed with how much there is to learn. Take it a bit at a time. It's better to master a few smaller projects then to be lousy at a whole bunch of things. Some days I will just practice one section of a song that I haven't mastered yet. It could be composed maybe of 10 notes but that's what I would base my practice session on for the day. 

Why did you want to learn to play guitar and not piano for instance? Just curious!


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## Jamrod

Lots of good advice and encouragement in this thread. Go slow and don't be too hard on yourself but keep at it. You'll begin to notice improvement.

I'll strongly second Steadfastly's recommendation of checking out http://www.justinguitar.com. Among other things, Justin offers a beginners course and lots of beginners songs to learn. His videos are very well done and he's an engaging teacher.


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## Lola

When I first started out playing I started with Justin's site! What really helped me immensely was the one minute chord changes! His lessons are very comprehensive. There is the forum to where you can go and ask questions. I whole heartedly recommend this site!


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## Steadfastly

Lola said:


> When I first started out playing I started with Justin's site! _*What really helped me immensely was the one minute chord changes!*_ His lessons are very comprehensive. There is the forum to where you can go and ask questions. I whole heartedly recommend this site!


I had been doing some of this on my own but being more specific as Justin teaches has made a huge difference for me.


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## Lola

Steadfastly said:


> I had been doing some of this on my own but being more specific as Justin teaches has made a huge difference for me.


I made more progress with Justin's lessons then I did with my 3 different guitar teachers. I just took matters into my own hands and just dedicated 20 minutes a day to practice chord changes. I went through his whole beginner series lessons and then into the intermediate. I haven't finished the intermediate yet but I find now that I am at a certain level the songs I pick are a learning process in themselves. The whole thing to learning in my opinion is dedication, patience and perseverance! Give yourself permission to, to make mistakes. Some days will be better than others. You will hit plateaus along the ways as well. They can be frustrating but just put your head down and plow through. You will have those days that you will sound amazing. Those days are the days that motivate me to keep going.

When I hit those frustrating chord changes in a certain song I will break it down and practice the 1 minute chord change techniques with it. It really works!


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## allthumbs56

I started formal guitar lessons at 8 years old and I took them until I was 12. I was surrounded by the Beatles, Monkees, Who, and Stones but my parents and teachers made me learn Grey Goose, Tico Tico, and Camptown Ladies. I hated lessons ............. but I loved the guitar. I really wish that I had been taught chords and songs instead of theory and notation but it was my "in" and I learned what I really wanted off records - there were no other tools.

40 (+) years later and I play out in a band and do acoustic solo and duo acts and get some of most wonderful therapy out of picking up an acoustic and playing a few chords.

Ask yourself what it is you want to accomplish ............... and then find a source or teacher that will get you there............. you're supposed to be enjoying this.


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## Lola

allthumbs56 said:


> Ask yourself what it is you want to accomplish ............... and then find a source or teacher that will get you there............. you're supposed to be enjoying this.


Truly the best post to answer this ladies conundrum! Knowing what you want to accomplish is the key to getting on the right road of your guitar journey! You won't hit a dead end!


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## fsone

I started about the same time as you. I am also 60 years young. Keep practising , I practice 1hr or more each day I believe you just need to stick to it. There are times I think I am not doing as well but my instructor says i'm doing very good. the further on you go it gets a little tougher but you will succeed. if you have the desire and determination to play you will! Don't come down so hard on yourself and just relax,have fun and it will come to you.


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## RedVally

I'm not sure if the OP is still around but I'll add to the already good suggestions in here. I'm a new guy as well and I found if I'm having trouble with timing for example I'll concentrate on getting the timing with my picking hand first and don't do anything with my fretting hand. It's easier to concentrate on one hand I find. That way when you get your quarter note picking down, you can then move your concentration to your fretting hand. 


My 2 cents.


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## Steadfastly

Lola said:


> The whole thing to learning in my opinion is* dedication, patience and perseverance!* Give yourself permission to, to make mistakes. ks!


That's pretty much it in a nutshell.


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## Bastille day

tina said:


> Hi
> I am an older female beginner (60)who started guitar lessons 4 months ago. I knew nothing about music at all. I am going to weekly lessons
> and I am on the last song of alfred's basic guitar method book 1. The song is take me home country homes and I have been on that song
> for 3 lessons I cannot seem to get the timing with dotted quarter notes the timing is for 4/4. 1&2&3&4&. I am the point where I am embarrassed
> to go I still cannot play everything I learnt without looking at the strings and sounding very terrible . My question is I hate to quit maybe lessons every other week would be better but am not sure they would do that as that would give me more time to try to learn, but am at the point where I can't continue the way am going.
> 
> I have joined guitar tricks and I was wondering if I could learn on line as I hate to give up. Any
> suggestions or help would be appreciated.


Since the formal lessons could possibly make you lose interest, just make your own tab documents of your favorite songs and keep playing until they sound right.

Some will work out, others will not.

I been trying to get Mr. Sandman right for months, can only do bits and pieces and still can not get through the whole song.

By the way I started at age 50 and practise daily now for at least a few hours.


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## Lola

Let's face it! Guitar is not an easy instrument to learn. I still suck at it at times(most of the time) but I have a dream and that's what keeps me so damned motivated. I want to play in a band. I just can't and won't let go of my dream. This dream of mine is so important to me. I live, I breathe the dream. It may take me longer to get there then some but I don't care. 

*You have to want something bad enough but don't wait for it to come to you! Go after it. Pursue it until you own it! Shut up and just do it!*

- - - Updated - - -

FYI no rude intentions meant by the shut up and just do it! It wasn't directed at anyone. Just to clarify things!

Action cures doubt every single time


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## rhh7

I am still not much of a player after a 50-year love affair with the guitar. My approach from here will be to learn songs. I found this site yesterday:

http://www.guitarnoise.com/blog/first-songs-to-learn-on-guitar/


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## shoretyus

A list similar to what I learned when I started... my buddy actually wrote a song with the line .."pat plays Friend Of Then Devil till his fingers bled" .

psst... Play Three Marlana's in Eb with bar chords..... 



rhh7 said:


> I am still not much of a player after a 50-year love affair with the guitar. My approach from here will be to learn songs. I found this site yesterday:
> 
> http://www.guitarnoise.com/blog/first-songs-to-learn-on-guitar/


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