# Band frustration



## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

Well, I joined this band back in December of last year.
They were a previously gigging band that booted one of the guitarists, then I joined.

In the nine months that we've been together, 
there have been at least four months of that time that we didn't even practice.
Three times, in that period, I had two weeks off and we'd practiced only once each time.

We still don't have three full sets together yet, but we've gigged twice in the meantime.
Both private, casual gigs, but still no reason to go out and clam it up.
We went for a full month after the first gig without any contact from anyone.
I was getting fed up and started contacting the others, then it still took another two weeks to arrange a practice.
That was just before the last gig, it could be the only reason that we got together.

I got a message last night from a band member, thinking that it was for a practice.
Nope, we have _another_ gig lined up for the weekend after next, what!?

Here's my response to his message...

*"We were invited, or Wayne did pursue this?
That's what I had heard last weekend.

When's the next practice? That's what I'm more interested in.
If anything, that last gig should've showed everyone that we need more PRACTICE!

There's going to have to be some sacrifice and more commitment to practicing before I entertain any more gigs. 
Or, if you don't have time to practice, stop booking gigs then.

It's one or the other, enough of this bullshit."*

I heard after the last gig, that Wayne was phoning around booking gigs.
There's a big difference when people are asking about the band and something transpires from there,
but, actively pursuing gigs when, for one, we aren't even close to being ready, again,
two - nobody seems to have time, or interest in any kind of practice.

Earlier this year, Wayne wanted to keep his weekend open to go to the cabin,
the other guitarist works steady days, so he doesn't like to practice on the weekdays!
When are we supposed to do anything then!?
I work shift work and two weekends a month, I'm working.

I get that people are busy, I've heard that excuse already.
If that's the case, that you can't make any sacrifice of your own in order to better the band, fine,
just STOP booking freaking gigs then!

What do you guys make of this situation?

Rant over, sorry for the novel. 8)


----------



## doriangrey (Mar 29, 2011)

I play in a couple of bands myself so I understand where you are coming from and I would be frustrated too... but I will be honest in saying that your response was rather, um, strong. Band dynamics can be complicated so I think you need to have a calm cool face-to-face chat with your fellow bandmates to see where everyone else is coming from and where they see it all going...


----------



## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

The thing is, I've been patient through the nine months.

I couldn't care less if it take two years to get ready, at this pace, it will.
I'm also understanding of peoples lives and all the goings on, but, DON'T book gigs then!

There was a consensus after last gig that we DO need more practice, but yet another gig is on the horizon.
There's actually another one talked about in September and one for New Years eve.

I'm Ok with gigging too, but not unprepared.


----------



## ThatGingerMojo (Jul 30, 2014)

Sorry Doriangrey, but I think his response was 100% acceptable. It is very frustrating playing babysitter to a bunch of over glorified rock stars. If you don't want to work at your art stop try to sell it. We have too many artists out there selling drivel. We need/want/crave substance. If I am paying my hard earned money to see musicians play I don't want to watch a jam session where they are fumbling through all the changes.

My advice to you, since you are the obviously the only member dedicated to your project is to dump them until they figure out what it is they want. Get in touch with more like minded people like you, and create something more polished.

You guys are only embarrassing yourselves gigging with no practice. It really is easy to spot from the crowd.


----------



## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

"You guys are only embarrassing yourselves gigging with no practice. It really is easy to spot from the crowd."

My exact sentiments.

I've stated to the whole band, that I don't mind gigging,
but I'm not interested in being embarrassed by the product.
Practice is the only thing that will alleviate that concern.

Obviously, it isn't a concern to the guys booking these gigs.
I see it as a pretty low bar set, quite unprofessional.

Two more days off and no word of any practice.


----------



## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

I agree with the OP. This sort of thing drives me crazy.

I'm the sort of guy that gets off on practice as much as a gig and I'd be happy to practice every day of the week with one or another of my bands. Just last week after almost a year of silence, one of my duo mates called about a gig. No explanation why he was out of contact. Another of my duos is the best I've ever had yet we rarely practice and only gig a few times a year.

Folks are weird.

Peace, Mooh.


----------



## dradlin (Feb 27, 2010)

I wouldn't want to be part of that scenario.

Don't expect anyone to change. Instead, align yourself with a group of players that shares your work ethic, otherwise too much conflict will exist.


----------



## djmarcelca (Aug 2, 2012)

The current bunch I play and gig with make it a hard once a week on Fridays or Thursdays.
i even told work I'm no longer available to work late those nights. 

If you're serious you'll make time. 

If you're a weekend rock star, ...........no more comment nessesary. 

Sorry to hear about you're frustration sulphur. 

Maybe it's time to move on. I would have long ago


----------



## kat_ (Jan 11, 2007)

I absolutely understand.
I'm in two different bands. One of them has been nearly stalled for the last year. In the last few weeks we've started to get back to work and we've agreed that we're going to rehearse every single Sunday evening and if someone can't make it the rest of us will still rehearse. Previously we cancelled rehearsal whenever one guy couldn't make it but then we ended up with 2 of the guys bailing out on a gig that we couldn't cancel, so that made us realize just how adaptable we can be. 
My other band is worse. We used to rehearse every weekend without fail, then just as we were ready to get out and play two of the members had to take five months off. After that we restarted, rehearsed every weekend, then kicked out two members and lost a few months. We found two replacements who were better than the original lineup, rehearsed every weekend, played two shows, then the singer went on tour with her other project for a month, then the lead player went away for 3 weeks, then something else, something else, and something else. Hopefully when summer ends we'll get it together again. Well, the singer and drummer are going to Europe for all of September so hopefully in October we'll start rehearsing again. Meanwhile we've turned down half a dozen gigs.


----------



## ronmac (Sep 22, 2006)

We've all been there...

I wouldn't consider myself part of a band unless we had a strict rehearsal schedule with defined goals and the individual and collective commitment to achieve them.


----------



## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

When I lived in Manitoba, I was in a three piece for years.

When we started up, two of us were shift work, on different crews,
so we had different days off, but a couple of them coincided.
The third guy was steady days, so we had to work around the weekends off.

Those two guys had families, with small children at the time,
but we got together every time that it was possible.

This band, one guy is retired, but has more going on than any of us.
The singer works in retail and has scattered days of, one guy is steady days.
The biggest problem and one that I accept, is the bassist.
He's a brick layer, without any regular schedule, works when it's available.
That, is the only wild card in the scenario, inevitable as it is.

Everyone in the band is over 50, so no little kids to worry about, grandkids, maybe.

The three piece I was in didn't pursue gigs, people would call us.
That left time to learn new stuff, or just goof around sometimes,
usually resulting in another tune, or sometimes even an original.

This band, the first while was the feel out period,
with me learning the bulk of material of what they were playing.
We did introduce some new tunes, we had to.
But, with the lack of practices, around these past two gigs,
when we would practice, it's nose to the grindstone.
It leaves little room to have any real "fun".


----------



## Tim Z (Feb 14, 2014)

For me this is pretty simple. If the band is not willing to do what is required to be a tight gigging band, then you just quit and find another band that fits your needs. Myself, I am pretty anal about being tight and well rehearsed, and I make it clear up front if the guys are not willing to rehearse a minimum of at least once a week, then I am not interested. To me it seems obvious that these guys do not really care about being a tight "quality" band (like so many other bands these days). It sounds to me like you joined their band and their situation, and if it does not fit with what you want to do, then you need to tell them and move on.


----------



## Guitar101 (Jan 19, 2011)

I must admit that when I read the original post I was a little jealous that your out there playing. I can't say that I miss all the drama of trying to get 4 or 5 people thinking the same way but on the other hand. Playing in a bad band is better than not playing at all. Sounds like the guys are just playing for fun so make sure you know your stuff and don't worry about anyone else. Most people don't care anyway as their just out for a good time and the few that do will recognize your talent.


----------



## ThatGingerMojo (Jul 30, 2014)

Guitar101 said:


> I must admit that when I read the original post I was a little jealous that your out there playing. I can't say that I miss all the drama of trying to get 4 or 5 people thinking the same way but on the other hand. Playing in a bad band is better than not playing at all. Sounds like the guys are just playing for fun so make sure you know your stuff and don't worry about anyone else. Most people don't care anyway as their just out for a good time and the few that do will recognize your talent.


I agree that Guitar101 has good points, but the frustration and angst of not practicing, and not knowing if people are coming or going really frustrate me to the point where its not worth it. Can you tell this post hits close to home. wasted 10 years doing this crap, now in my 30's with nothing to show for it band-wise. I only humor people now who are serious about practice.


----------



## Chito (Feb 17, 2006)

Since I started having my own bands, I make it a point to say that practice is Sunday afternoon, at my place. The last band I had before this one, we went over 2 years practicing every Sunday. I admit there has been issues but in most cases, the guys show up. If I can't get that commitment from someone, it's either they say they can't do it or I tell them we'll find somebody else. Just the way it works. Nowadays with this present band, we don't practice as much, I've kinda slackened off on pushing for practice every Sunday, first because we've been practically playing the same songs for the last year, just adding new songs along the way, second, I've been guilty myself of being unavailable. I also don't join bands that don't practice regularly every week. 

I understand the frustration, I can't play in a band that doesn't practice specially if they want to gig.


----------



## djmarcelca (Aug 2, 2012)

There's another alternative, you can write your own material, and only perform it. 
Then hire back ups bands as necessary. 
Give them their tracks to learn and the show up for a dress rehearsal, and final run through.


----------



## fredyfreeloader (Dec 11, 2010)

I found working with someone else's group, I would get pissed off at the non-comital of the brother, wife, cousin or whatever deadbeat they dragged along, who just didn't have the time or wouldn't take the time to practice, so I solved that. I hired people to work with me, my group my rules, you don't like it, well don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. One thing I insisted on when hiring was I wanted at least two people who could carry a tune, with out the help of a wheel barrow to carry said tune, makes for a better sound with more voices. 
Most of the time when travelling I would go to the nearest Union office and get names of reliable musicians, again my rules, no booze, no drugs before or during the show, when the show/event was finished, go get stupid if you want. 
When we were not on the road, practice was a minimum of 5 nights a week, you want a good show when we start out again, then practice, practice, practice. Eleven to Twelve months a year on the road is work, if you want to keep working you have to keep your skill level at a peak or quit and go play weekends.


----------



## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

Interesting discussion.

Well, we practiced tonight! We're on for next Thursday too.

Just to be clear, I do enjoy gigging and appreciate the opportunity.
Nothing like having an audience show enthusiasm at a performance.
The clams and stutter/stalls, suck the energy out of what you're trying to achieve.

We had a brief discussion on the importance of rehearsal, everyone agreed.
The saving grace, as I see it, was that these past two gigs were private affairs, fairly casual.
A little less pressure than a bar, but you still want to perform well, no matter where it is.

We're still on for the weekend after next and that had some bearing on this practice.
We will be playing an annual occasion downtown, but just for one set, if that.
So, the singer chose a list of songs that we do, the tightest ones, for this show.

We played through them, stopping and correcting along the way, starting over if need be.
The second time through, we timed ourselves to see how close, over or under the limit.
The second time through was pretty tight too, proof to my claim.

That left time at the end of the night to try a couple of new ones that we had tossed around doing.
I also threw an easy one in that I could pull out of my butt, if needed, it went well.
We even jammed a bit of AC/DC, just for laughs, but had a blast.
That was more like it!

I even proposed that we try some practices like that, just work on one set, twice,
then onto new tunes and maybe just some goofing around. 
It seemed a bit less overwhelming and we really tightened up the tunes we worked on.

We have another bush gig lined up for Sept. 19, small crowd, again a casual affair.
Possibly a New Years gig, that will take work, as long as there aren't more in between.


----------



## dradlin (Feb 27, 2010)

fredyfreeloader said:


> I found working with someone else's group, I would get pissed off at the non-comital of the brother, wife, cousin or whatever deadbeat they dragged along, who just didn't have the time or wouldn't take the time to practice, so I solved that. I hired people to work with me, my group my rules, you don't like it, well don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. One thing I insisted on when hiring was I wanted at least two people who could carry a tune, with out the help of a wheel barrow to carry said tune, makes for a better sound with more voices.
> Most of the time when travelling I would go to the nearest Union office and get names of reliable musicians, again my rules, no booze, no drugs before or during the show, when the show/event was finished, go get stupid if you want.
> When we were not on the road, practice was a minimum of 5 nights a week, you want a good show when we start out again, then practice, practice, practice. Eleven to Twelve months a year on the road is work, if you want to keep working you have to keep your skill level at a peak or quit and go play weekends.


I'm curious of two things: did you pay people for practice sessions; what did you pay for a performance?.


----------



## fredyfreeloader (Dec 11, 2010)

dradlin said:


> I'm curious of two things: did you pay people for practice sessions; what did you pay for a performance?.


Practice sessions were generally for the core group so it was just practice, free beer and Pizza was supplied, extra union hires were paid scale as set down by the nearest union office. All musicians belonged to the A. F. of M.


----------

