# Death of the Corporate Buzz Word



## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

I was reading an article today in Maclean's Magazine about "The Worst Job I ever Had" and had to smile when one guy mentioned that at a former company he worked at they used to dodge and deflect almost everything with some kind of buzz word or buzz phrase. It brought back some recent memories of a lot of people I used to deal with in my former life.

Terms such as....

- Lets develop an action plan
- What are the next steps
- Best Practice ?
- Open Door Policy
- Thinking "outside the box"
- Substituting any issue or problem with the word "challenge"
- Refering to any leader of any project as the "Champion"
- The ever present "Change Management Process"
- The reference to anyone's abilities as "competencies"
- What are your core competencies?
- The ever goofy "Paradigm Shift"
- Dodging any question of the present by inserting "going forward"
- The always stupid "Performance Measurement"
- What are your "deliverables?"
- The always grotesque and degrading use of "downsizing"
- We need to "drill down" on this issue
- We need to "empower" our employees
- We need to "engage" our employees.


Just a few of the thousands of stupid and meaningless buzz words and phrases that I am so glad I don't have to hear anymore. 

Another funny thing is that as a company starts to fail the buzz words start to dry up.

What minimal halfwit sat around coming up with these things?


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## 1PUTTS (Sep 8, 2007)

So true - I can remember sitting in meetings and thinking, "What the hell are we even talking about?". I don't miss those days either...

Did you ever play "buzzword bingo"? We always joked about it but no one actually empowered themselves to formulate the action plan to create the bingo cards...moving forward...


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

So right. A typical conversation might go like this.... and when you have left the room you tell me if you have any idea what you are supposed to do?

Sales Guy: I met with the customer this morning and they made it very clear that we need to meet a 3% price decrease by November 3rd or we risk being blocked from quoting on the new project for 2009. They are also threatening to pull one of our current contracts if we do not meet the deadline. They want a verbal commitment by 3:00 this afternoon on our intentions. 

Boss: We need to think outside the box on this. Going forward we cannot afford to reduce pricing. Therefore, I need you to develop an action plan that would satisfy the customers needs and also allow us to quote on the new business for 2009. If needed, develop a cross functional team, champion it and facilitate meetings to engage all departments for input on cost reduction initiatives. Seek out the best practices from each plant and utilize the skill sets that present themselves. It must be margin nuetral and cannot affect our bottom line negatively. Complete a deep dive analysis and see where we can increase productivity and reduce waste. In the end we need a win-win scenario. Make sure to impress upon the customer our ability to offer them a world class product at a competetive price. Our value added full service approach and customer satisfaction metrics. It is important to include our vision and corporate mandate when addressing the customer. Note anything that is not on the radar currently and target that for future implementation into our strategic game plan.

Sales Guy: Thanks for all your help. (you useless nimrod)


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

I forgot to include one of the most over used, stupid and meaningless buzz words I have ever heard. "world class"


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## soundhound6 (Jun 30, 2008)

Managerial types feel like they should be speaking some intelligent sounding truth, which us common folk just simply wouldnt understand.I listened to that 
at the factory for 3-4 years before they shut it down.

I always took the buzzwords as a sign that they had no real solutions to the issues at hand...talking heads at best.
Just like politicians with their doublespeak, it seems that they weakly justify
their existence in an organization with upbeat bullsh!t.

I have heard similar bafflegab from people who are about to try and scam me into or out of something.A real study in human nature,eh?

Let me get back to you later on that....

Jan


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## devnulljp (Mar 18, 2008)

They're all spelled: M-B-A


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## Guest (Oct 19, 2008)

devnulljp said:


> They're all spelled: M-B-A


So true. I find the higher the levels I interact with the more vague the plans, the more buzz words used to describe it. I've dubbed it The Umbrella Principle. If you're a manager, showing your value is tough -- especially middle management. Why do you need to manage 5 guys? Couldn't the guy above you manage 25 guys directly? So you throw up "umbrella plans" -- plans that are vague enough to encompass anything good that might happen, "See! I told you I knew what I was doing, I planned it all along!" And the really good managers also use the umbrellas to deflect the poop that, necessarily, rolls down hill. It's quite an art really.

When you're at the end of the line it can get to be a ridiculous joke. I think I spend a good 1/4 of my time these days just telling various levels of managers: a) what I've done; b) what I'm going to be doing at various intervals (1 week, 1 month, 6 months, etc); c) what other people will need to be doing because of what I'm doing; and d) how long it'll take me to get it done (which is always, "Half the time if you'd quit interrupting me").

My job is less technical than ever, more political. Am I getting jaded? Maybe...


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

I work with people with disabilities. I noticed that corporate buzzwords started to creep into the higher echelons of the non-profit agency I work for about ten years ago. I was offended at first, but now I just get a cynical chuckle of it. The current one is 'Branding'. I can just see us going with a branding iron,... naw, I don't want to there.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

I work in that world, and it is appalling. I am tasked with "performance measurement" of "employee engagement", through surveys, so that we can identify "world class" "best practices" and pack them into "deliverables" that can help to identify "core competencies" of managers at senior levels. I try to design such surveys so as to be able to "drill down", and have presented about such matters before rooms full of "champions" (most of whom were absent and sent their assistant).

As a psychologist, I find much to be proud of in the systematic and thoughtful investigation of employee attitudes, management attitudes, and what I like to call "organizational science". At the same time, it is discouraging to see how much of what I try to do honestly turns into corporate babble. I have had struggles with assistant deputy minister committees who feel that, somehow, because they were able to assign a buzzword to something that somehow it is actually measurable, and different from something else with a buzzword assigned to it that they wish to measure. Folks who think that just because you used two different buzzwords that there is no way you'd actually be measuring the same thing twice because, after all, they use two *different* buzzwords. I have yet to meet anyone, or read anything, that truly understands what "employee engagement" means, except for, oddly enough, folks who study employee burnout.

As for "action plans", too many confuse drafting an intention with actually carrying it out and following it up to see if it actually did what was intended.

"Best practices" are a laugh. Most often, they are defined on the basis of simply being in the Fortune 500 or 100. People forget that, for a time, Enron and Worldcom were there, as was Nortel, JDS Uniphase, and a whole bunch of companies we have seen come and go, or will shortly. Somehow, people have it in their heads that making a lot of money within some short-term period, even if via illegal or criminal means, is the very definition of corporate outcome, and that whatever an organization has done when they make a lot of money quickly, even if unconnected to revenue, is somehow good and desirable to do. It is rare that a "best practice" is put to the test, and equally rare that anyone ever investigates the circumstances under which it will "work" or not.

Let me add "employer of choice" to the list. Many folks here will be familiar with regular articles about "Canada's 100 (or 50) best employers". I used to think it was worth following...until I found out how they are identified. Someone from Treasury Board contacted me as employee survey expert and asked me to direct them to some survey results they could present to the company that runs the "best employers" thing, so that they could get on the list and make the federal public service an "employer of choice". I learned that you have to apply - essentially nominating yourself - and pay a fee of a few hundred dollars or so, and give evidence of your own choosing that illustrates why you feel that your company ought to be considered as one of Canada's best employers. And here, I always thought it was someone with their ear to the ground who kept tabs on employers and looked for places doing something innovative or admirable. Nope. What they know is what you tell them. Nice to know the list is unassailable.

"Competencies" are the sort of thing that is constantly under debate in the literature. As a heuristic for thinking about what a job really requires, it is helpful, but many experts will tell you it does not really take you any farther than simply outlining the tasks and responsibilities of a job, and the knowledge, skills and abilities it requires. I did a cross-Canada tour listening to federal managers from the other side of a one-way glass last year, and the vast majority did not seem to know what a "competency" was....in the sense of not being familiar with the term. Thank goodness the virus hasn't spread that far.

The thing about buzzwords is that very often they evolve out of necessity, as a way of summarizing something complex or diverse, in a convenient and well-enough understood way. So, "deliverables" is a nice way of summarizing a bunch of things that one might produce, like reports, think-pieces, tables and quantitative summaries, presentations, advice documents, etc. I suppose you could say "All those things we might write, present, or otherwise show or offer to people", but deliverables is faster.

Still it is a testament to the over-reliance on buzzwords that so many of them here are so embarrassingly familiar to me.


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## rollingdam (May 11, 2006)

One more to add to the list is "operational requirements".


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## devnulljp (Mar 18, 2008)

mhammer said:


> I work in that world, and it is appalling. I am tasked with "performance measurement" of "employee engagement", through surveys, so that we can identify "world class" "best practices" and pack them into "deliverables" that can help to identify "core competencies" of managers at senior levels. I try to design such surveys so as to be able to "drill down", and have presented about such matters before rooms full of "champions" (most of whom were absent and sent their assistant).


BINGO!!!!!​


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## Kenmac (Jan 24, 2007)

This is what I've always called "Business-ese". It bears a remarkable resemblance to english but isn't really. :wink: Seriously though, if I were running a company there'd be no "business-ese" or "buzzwords" allowed.


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## Gene Machine (Sep 22, 2007)

*one more...*

don't forget SYNERGY, that one gets thrown around a lot.


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## kw_guitarguy (Apr 29, 2008)

This is a great topic...my employer (who shall remain nameless) is in the process of re-orging the IT depts across the country...I can't tell you how many of those words are being tossed around for this...it's quite funny!!

~Andrew


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## traynor_garnet (Feb 22, 2006)

Proactive. Is anyone conactive?

TG


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## lyric girl (Sep 4, 2008)

You missed one of the big ones... "transparent" What a load of crap.


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## devnulljp (Mar 18, 2008)

traynor_garnet said:


> Proactive. Is anyone conactive?
> 
> TG


Proative is a win-win synegistically speaking to embrace integrated vortals and enhance geo-targeted convergence to extend real-time monitoring functionalities facilitating back-end networks. We must drill down and extend real-time monitoring initiatives, architect asset tracking experiences, and drive Mobile-Related Interoperability!


So glad to be out of corporate employment...


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## bobb (Jan 4, 2007)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jxaY14ddrY&feature=related


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

lyric girl said:


> You missed one of the big ones... "transparent" What a load of crap.


It's a decent word for summarizing a number of linked ideas, but as a buzzword, used by folks who are not attempting to summarize a number of already articulated concepts encompassed in it, I hate it. One of the things I have been tasked to do is to assess the "transparency" of hiring in government. That's fine, except I am adamant about NOT using the actual word in any survey questions. Happily, the folks who I am doing this for were persuaded easily that it could be done without buzzwords, and pleased with what I gave them instead.

Of course, management thinks that somehow you have to actually USE buzzwords when talking about things and feels compelled to insert them wherever possible. That it can't somehow be about transparency unless the word "transparent" or "transparency" is in there. Not just our government either. I got asked by some folks in Washington to look over a draft of one of their surveys that was also going out to a huge cross-section of U.S. federal employees. First question? It asked you about the adequacy of the "human capital strategy" in your agency. Yeah, THERE'S the sort of lingo the folks in I.T. or the mail room kick around all the time. I'm sure the guy who cuts the grass on the White House lawn mutters to himself aboard his John Deere ride-on "Well at least THIS year's Human Capital Strategy is a darn sight better than last year's!". It would appear, given the hasty replacement of that survey question with a more appropriate one, that I was not alone in my disdain. Thank goodness they caught it.

Some more for consideration: re-engineering (I am not proud that I share last names with the father of "re-engineering", Michael Hammer), and alignment. You see, if you can re-engineer, and bring your policies into alignment with theirs, it's a win-win situation, which as we all know, is a best practice.

I like to say that there are few things that will undermine one's confidence in management faster than looking at what's on the shelves under the "Management" section at a decent bookstore. One's first response is generally "You mean they don't already KNOW this stuff?".


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## Harvest (Oct 6, 2007)

Death? I don't think so.... I hear many of those phrases every damn day at work :sport-smiley-002:


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## Beatles (Feb 7, 2006)

Everytime I hear the word "Strategic" I feel like puking. Cripes I work for the Feds.


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

strategic !!!!


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

GuitarsCanada said:


> So right. A typical conversation might go like this.... and when you have left the room you tell me if you have any idea what you are supposed to do?
> 
> Sales Guy: I met with the customer this morning and they made it very clear that we need to meet a 3% price decrease by November 3rd or we risk being blocked from quoting on the new project for 2009. They are also threatening to pull one of our current contracts if we do not meet the deadline. They want a verbal commitment by 3:00 this afternoon on our intentions.
> 
> ...


All of my past successes as a systems consultant stemmed from being able to talk like that. One of my other favourites is "defacto standard" - used to get a lot of miles around Queen's Park with that one.


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## NB-SK (Jul 28, 2007)

Well, this is right up my alley (I'm a linguist). 

The briefest way I can explain this is that it's the heavyhanded use of ethos and pathos as a substitute for logos. In other words, perfectly good words and expressions are subsituted for words and expressions that have a specific emotional connotation. Rhetoric, to put it simply.


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## devnulljp (Mar 18, 2008)

NB-SK said:


> Well, this is right up my alley (I'm a linguist).
> 
> The briefest way I can explain this is that it's the heavyhanded use of ethos and pathos as a substitute for logos. In other words, perfectly good words and expressions are subsituted for words and expressions that have a specific emotional connotation. Rhetoric, to put it simply.


Rhetoric? Does that mean "bullshit" but with a specific emotional connotation?
:food-smiley-004:


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## Starbuck (Jun 15, 2007)

devnulljp said:


> They're all spelled: M-B-A


At my Company, it's Engineering Degree. Entry level positions are all graduates of some form of engineering.


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## Geek (Jun 5, 2007)

Gene Machine said:


> don't forget SYNERGY, that one gets thrown around a lot.


Guh! And PARADIGM. Those were the ones that drove me nuts.

I worked in a bloomin' Dilbert comic for a few months >.<




> At my Company, it's Engineering Degree. Entry level positions are all graduates of some form of engineering.


Oh goody, can we techs start a thread on engineer jokes? :banana:

Cheers!


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

NO corporate experience on my part and I feel your pain. I am the whole company.....but the buzz words are relevant to me 


action plan........... _get the tools ou_t 
-
- Best Practice ? ..... _see above _ 
- Open Door Policy ...... _remove and replace the door_
- Thinking "outside the box" ...... _get out of the box you are building _
- the word "challenge"...... _this job sucks.... but focus and it will get done_
- What are your core competencies?...... _partical board or real plywood_ 
- "Paradigm Shift" ...._it moved before you fastened or glued it_ 
- "going forward"..... _moving to the next job_ 
- "Performance Measurement" .... _what size is it _
- What are your "deliverables?" ...... _is it done yet_ 
- "downsizing" ..... _oops .. it doesn't fit .. crap _ 
- "drill down" on this issue ... _hope these holes line up_ 
- We need to "empower" our employees ..... _ the cheque has cleared_
- We need to "engage" our employees. ..... _hold the end of the board_


Have a good day. I have a board meeting today. On the agenda is an action plan that will challenge it's members but that will firm up our company's deliverables before there is a shift in enviromental conditions.


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

As with most things, buzz words can be over used and meaningless, a bit like discussing tone in forums like this.

If however you pick one or two and actually strive to implement or improve on them, they can serve as a reminder of important management directions.

Why does the term "paradigm shift" irk people? All it means is a fundamental change of perspective and point of view, a new way of thinking. Seems to me many of us could use a dose of this one.


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

Harvest said:


> Death? I don't think so.... I hear many of those phrases every damn day at work :sport-smiley-002:


I think I was more wishing and hoping rather than announcing it's death.


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## Starbuck (Jun 15, 2007)

With regard to Paradigm Shift etc, I don't think that it necessarily the use, but the overuse of all these terms.


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

Milkman said:


> As with most things, buzz words can be over used and meaningless, a bit like discussing tone in forums like this.
> 
> If however you pick one or two and actually strive to implement or improve on them, they can serve as a reminder of important management directions.
> 
> Why does the term "paradigm shift" irk people? All it means is a fundamental change of perspective and point of view, a new way of thinking. Seems to me many of us could use a dose of this one.


I think thats just the point, Mike. Back in the day you could have just said "let's change the way we think" or "let's try something different" How did that become Paradigm Shift?

If I had a nickle for every minute I have sat in some bogus training session over the past 24 years presented by some clever little nerd with a pocket full of new "buzz" words to impress us with I could have retired a millionaire years ago.

The main point to all of this is it's nothing new. Nothing has been invented here. These concepts and ideas have been around since the beginnng of time. It's just constantly re-packaged and sold to companies with either too much money or too little brains. If I was smart, and clearly I am not... I would have gone into consulting years ago. It's an endless money pit and you really don't have to have any talent other than bullshit. 99% of all these terms and concepts were developed by someon else. Most of them just take the book they got at the first course and re-package it.

Edward Deming was teaching this garbage to the Japanese 40 years ago.

PS: My apologies to anyone who actually does this for a living. Like I said, a good career choice. But I have to stand on my opinions of it's originality and actual usefulness.


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## Starbuck (Jun 15, 2007)

GuitarsCanada said:


> Edward Deming was teaching this garbage to the Japanese 40 years ago.


You're so right, I strted hating "Paradigm Shift" when I did the 7 Habits of Highly effective People" Covey was a great speaker, but it was all common sense really.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

devnulljp said:


> Rhetoric? Does that mean "bullshit" but with a specific emotional connotation?
> :food-smiley-004:


In this case, "rhetoric" implies that certain words are being used to convey additional meaning beyond the actual literal meaning of the words used. In other words, use the "right" buzzwords, and it conveys the subtext of "Hey, guys, I'm one of you, and I am competent". Not a whole lot different than a couple of 16 year-olds saying "That's SOOOOOOO random" to each other.


> As with most things, buzz words can be over used and meaningless, a bit like discussing tone in forums like this.


Bingo. On the busride in this morning, I started thinking that there was probably a not that much difference between the manner in which banal terminology is used to describe gear, and the banal terms used to describe management intentions or practices. I think you can attend a management meeting, OR read a gear review in Guitar Player, and still come away with absolutely no idea of what was being discussed. If anything, sometims it seems like tone/management terms are being used to mask an inability to comprehend the subject matter. Kind of a "Maybe if I say this they won't ask me any questions" sort of thing.

Probably dates me, but I remember an episode of M.A.S.H. where they were coaching Radar on how to impress women and maybe score. One of the things they taught him todo was to gaze wistfully off into the distance, and sigh "Ah....Bach", whenever Johan Sebastian's music or name came up. It was intended to make him appear to be one of the cogniscenti.

Same thing with technical terms. They're like membership badges or security passes that get you in.


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## Hamstrung (Sep 21, 2007)

GuitarsCanada said:


> Edward Deming was teaching this garbage to the Japanese 40 years ago.


While I agree with the sentiment of this thread wholeheartedly (I work in a buzz-word laden industry) I wouldn't call what Deming taught the Japanese garbage. They pulled a devastated manufacturing base from WWII into a world class manufacturing hub in a few decades using a lot of his ideas that his fellow Americans wouldn't accept at the time. They've been eating the Big Three's lunch ever since.
I think the problem is when companies try to emulate the success of other companies but they just pay lip service to the concepts instead of actually using them. Then it just becomes an alphabet soup of meaninless acronyms and buzz words.


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## Guest (Oct 20, 2008)

Starbuck said:


> At my Company, it's Engineering Degree. Entry level positions are all graduates of some form of engineering.


As an engineer married to an Anthropologist I seem to take a perverse amount of pleasure in throwing in terms in my technical reports not often encountered by technical and upper management these days. "Nonesuch" is a good one. "Albeit" always gets a weird look. Terms you don't often encounter in technical computer science and engineering. And my immediate manager and I always clash over my use of semi-colons. He doesn't understand them so he edits them out of my documents. He's also one of those people who seems to hold on to a few grade school grammar rules that are completely wrong:

1) You need to indent every paragraph by one tab space. This one drives me nuts. It's a hang up from mono-spaced font days and we live in a much more aesthetically beautiful time now; we have gorgeous fonts like Arial and Garamond that don't require such crude typographic conventions to make them legible; and
2) You put a comma every place you'd take a breath. Dear GOD that one drives me nuts. His writing is littered with commas.

And my last anti-corporate rant for the day is: PowerPoint must die. Die! DIE! Especially as a tool for disseminating technical information. Not all thoughts can be distilled to three sentences of no more than 10 words apiece. I've taken to making one word slides or picture-only slides that just remind me what I wanted to say. Makes people focus on my words and keeps them from reading some terse description and thinking, "Oh yea, I understand that." I get into clashes all the time with upper management on this one as well; they want "self-documenting" PowerPoint slides that they can "read at a later time and understand". It's a euphemism for, "I want to zone out in your meeting, give me some insurance so I can catch up later and not look like an idiot."


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## LowWatt (Jun 27, 2007)

I work in the web and the buzz phrases driving me nuts today are :

Web 2.0 and New Media.

Both revolve around things that have been around for over 10 years, but as we all know, if you give something old a catchy new title, package it slightly different, add the right marketing, and the lemmings will jump and feed you cash because they are too afraid of ending up "behind the curve."


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## soundhound6 (Jun 30, 2008)

When I was young, my father gave me a bit of advice on how people speak.

When someone uses uncommonly large words and tries to speak over your head,they're either full of it and don't know what they're talking about...
or they've got something to hide.

I say speak plain english..say what you mean...mean what you say.
Simple,huh?
Anything more is superfluous...oops...sorry it slipped.

Jan


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Matt Groening used to have an annual installment of his delightful "Life in Hell" strip entitled "Forbidden words <199x/200x>". haven't seen one lately, but they were always soul-pleasing.

Just for the record, words evolve and emerge because there is a need for them. EVERYTHING requires a unique identifier. Of course, the overarching reason for the emergence of words is very simply: clarity. One can create clarity by using words that possess precision in their meaning, but one can also _prevent_ clarity by using words that are unfamiliar to the other party, or deliberately create confusion by being used in an ambiguous or decontextualized manner.

It's never the words themselves that are to blame, but rather the speaker/user. I think our distaste for certain terms tends to come about via a desire to prevent their misuse by the bluntest means possible: i.e., whether you can use them right or not, NO ONE shall use these words, by public decree!


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Gesundheit! Did you need a tissue?:smile:


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## Starbuck (Jun 15, 2007)

Paul said:


> To sum up:
> 
> Eschew obfuscation.:smile:


Good one! one of my Fav words, The X-files was always good for some good words. My fav Quote from Scully was: Mulder, not everything is a labyrinth of dark conspiracy, and not everybody is plotting to deceive, inveigle, and obfuscate.


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

GuitarsCanada said:


> I think thats just the point, Mike. Back in the day you could have just said "let's change the way we think" or "let's try something different" How did that become Paradigm Shift?
> 
> If I had a nickle for every minute I have sat in some bogus training session over the past 24 years presented by some clever little nerd with a pocket full of new "buzz" words to impress us with I could have retired a millionaire years ago.
> 
> ...


Just an observation

let's change the way we think" = six syllables

Paradigm Shift = four syllables


I do agree that we live in a world of overuse or improper use of buzzwords and acronyms.

I just think that there ARE some good uses for these phrases and words.


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## bagpipe (Sep 19, 2006)

Milkman said:


> Just an observation
> 
> let's change the way we think" = six syllables
> 
> ...


WWW = six syllables
World Wide Web = three syllables

Not exactly the same as your example, as WWW is not normally spoken out loud. Still bugs me though!


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## zontar (Oct 25, 2007)

soundhound6 said:


> I say speak plain english..say what you mean...mean what you say.
> Simple,huh?
> Anything more is superfluous...oops...sorry it slipped.
> 
> Jan


Thanks for being perspicuous, or in other words thanks for your perspicuity.


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## Michelle (Aug 21, 2006)

I actually like 'Paradigm Shift' and besides being a good band name, it was sort of my motto when I turned my life up side down 7yrs ago.

Have to laugh at the ones; 'Change Agent', 'Thinking outside the box', 'push the envelope', etc. The corporate types would be very afraid of anyone that displays these sorts of attributes rather than just talk about them.

I just brand all this fluff as 'newspeak'.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Shorter is indeed not always better. My favourite example is A.I.D.S. and HIV.

People all too easily forget that A-I-D-S stands for *A*cquired *I*mmune *D*eficiency *S*yndrome. Note what the full name implies:

1) As a "syndrome", it is not a singular disease, but rather a constellation of symptoms/outcomes that may well be of varying origins, but linked by their similar pattern.
2) As an "immune deficiency" syndrome, it is not lethal. Rather, it is the assorted pathogens that one may now be susceptible to, as a result of the barriers the syndrome results in removing that are the real problem. People don't "die of AIDS". They die of diseases that they contracted as a result of their deficient immune systems. For decades, people were terrified of those who are known to "have" A.I.D.S., even though the affected actually had far more to be worried about with respect to catching something from those around them.

Same thing with "HIV". It stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. Again, the virus has no real direct lethal effects. If you lived in a plastic bubble, the way those kids with known dysfunctional immune systems live, you wouldn't get sick. It's the fact that you're walking around with a compromised immune system in the midst of folks who don't keep their snot to themselves and don't wash their hands that is the problem.

Sometimes, hearing the entire thing, and not just an acronym, can remind you of things that are very important.


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## zontar (Oct 25, 2007)

That works as a verbal pun, but spelled out you're saying it doesn't move-


> Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
> sta·tion·ar·y /ˈsteɪʃəˌnɛri/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[stey-shuh-ner-ee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation adjective, noun, plural -ar·ies.
> –adjective
> 1.	standing still; not moving.
> ...


as opposed to Stationery-


> Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
> sta·tion·er·y /ˈsteɪʃəˌnɛri/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[stey-shuh-ner-ee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
> –noun
> 1.	writing paper.
> ...


(Yes I get the pun--I love puns. I believe Ive used this--just pointing out a spelling thing--hey if you can point out math errors...)

This is hopefully my last spelling thing here--unless it's my name...


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## bagpipe (Sep 19, 2006)

bagpipe said:


> WWW = six syllables
> World Wide Web = three syllables
> 
> Not exactly the same as your example, as WWW is not normally spoken out loud. Still bugs me though!





Paul said:


> Double "U" - Double "U" - Double "U" = *NINE* syllables
> 
> I already said I hate bad math in this thread....are you baiting me???/:smile::smile:


D'oh!

Ummmm ... baiting you? Yeah, thats it .. baiting you. Thats what I was doing. lofu


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

bagpipe said:


> D'oh!
> 
> Ummmm ... baiting you? Yeah, thats it .. baiting you. Thats what I was doing. lofu


No sweat BP - you were correct the first time "Dub-ya, dub-ya, dub-ya" = 6


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## devnulljp (Mar 18, 2008)

Milkman said:


> Just an observation
> let's change the way we think" = six syllables
> Paradigm Shift = four syllables


Pub? = one syllable


(I had line management in Japan who would frequently "regroup to the off-site meeting venue for a brainstorming session")


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## bscott (Mar 3, 2008)

BINGO - that broke me up. I had forgotten about that Corporat BullS**t Bingo game. 
I work for the feds as well and have laneded a dream job - at least for me. I have 3 years to go to get full pension AND my boss does not ask me to go to any meetings OR take on special projects - meaningless or otherwise. Just point me to a classroom and tell me what and whom I am teaching today. Works out great! No drama - and with the odd bit of shift work thrown in even less drama and daytime nonsense.

Brian


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## Hamstrung (Sep 21, 2007)

It's also annoying when it creeps into advertising. My current favourite one to hate is Gatorade calling it's product an "Off Field Hydrator"! It's F*&^ing sugar water!!!!


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

Hamstrung said:


> It's also annoying when it creeps into advertising. My current favourite one to hate is Gatorade calling it's product an "Off Field Hydrator"! It's F*&^ing sugar water!!!!


If you want to breach into advertising.... the all time bogus, foolish and outlandish of all time has to be "European Styling" so over used by the auto industry there is no line of demarcation anymore. There is even that commercial out now for some little car (looks like a large riding lawnmower) that is actually telling potential customers that the brakes are "European tuned" ?????


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## Guest (Oct 21, 2008)

GuitarsCanada said:


> There is even that commercial out now for some little car (looks like a large riding lawnmower) that is actually telling potential customers that the brakes are "European tuned" ?????


I learned to drive in a POS Lada. Its breaks were "European tuned": sometimes they worked, sometimes they didn't. :smile:


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Paul said:


> Apparently 92% of all Ladas sold in Canada are still on the road. The other 8% made it back home.


That one is precious!!

Love it!!:smile:


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## Guest (Oct 21, 2008)

Paul said:


> So did I!!!! It was the poor man's Fiat 124.


Fancy that. I'm pretty sure it was a 2108. 2 door. Hatchback. Monkey shit brown. The stick throw was 2 cm and clutch had two positions: engaged or grinding. Memories...



> I never had a brake problem, but keeping the motor running was a challenge. The oil leakage past the valve seals was so bad that I gave up on using an air cleaner. A 100 km drive would turn the air cleaner into a soaked, air-impenetrable mass of flammable goo.


Funny story: we were supposed to be practicing steep hill cold starts, where you use your parking break to hold the car steady while you get the clutch engaged. The driver ed instructor overlooked a critical point in the lesson: you have to have a car with a functioning parking break for this approach to really be, you know, _effective_.



> Apparently 92% of all Ladas sold in Canada are still on the road. The other 8% made it back home.


No. Really? That's shocking. How can the avoid having their vehicles condemned? :smile:


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## Starbuck (Jun 15, 2007)

Paul said:


> Ooooooh! That was the Lada Samara! I had the 2106, (derived from the aforementioned FIAT), in a _faded_ monkey caca brown. I painted it black.



I hope you did it with a roller, you wouldn't want it to look better!!!


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## soundhound6 (Jun 30, 2008)

Mhammer...I agree 100% on the clarity thing.But sadly people have muddied the water so much with all the misuse,that I'm naturally suspicious when it is used.Eeeespecially when the words eminate from the mouths of politicians.
I would prefer "out of the mouths of babes"for the honesty and simplicity.

One of my faves is the American army's use of "doing a vertical insertion in an operation"Jeeze...they're just raining bombs on the enemy...What the..?

You can put lipstick on a pig...but it's still a pig.(Mmmmmm...bacon.)

I like your thinking Devnulljp,1 syllable is good.Mmmmm...beer.

Last week, I was driving out of town in the north end of Winnipeg.
There's a small used car dealer with a bunch of questionable lookng cars for sale.
The dealers sign is the original "Lada"sign from years back,when they were actually for sale there.Brought a smile to my face!

Embranglement sure makes for interesting social intercourse.HeeHee.

Jan


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

Paul said:


> My Lada was the only car I ever knew with electrics worse than Lucas.


Beware the Prince of Darkness


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## Geek (Jun 5, 2007)

Paul said:


> Ahhhhh, the British 3 position headlight switch: Dim, Flicker and Off.


LMAO!!!! 

Oh yeah, I had more than one of those "installed" :wink:


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

Thread like this really amaze me. You start off with Corporate Buzz Words and end up reminiscing about Ladas. Wow.


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## Geek (Jun 5, 2007)

Robert1950 said:


> Thread like this really amaze me. You start off with Corporate Buzz Words and end up reminiscing about Ladas. Wow.



"Any thread topic will eventually turn into one about cars." - a common Usenet truism


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## bscott (Mar 3, 2008)

allthumbs56 said:


> Beware the Prince of Darkness


I drive a Land Rover Discovery. One of the other saying for those who have Lucas parts is - - Lucas - Prince of Darkness - Get home Before Dark!!


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## Michelle (Aug 21, 2006)

Funny thing though, I've had Lucas Carello H4 halogens in my p/u for about, ummm, 25yrs. (Now where in hell is there any wood in this-here arborite, steel, & carpet cell) Not to worry, I have spare bulbs!


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

Paul said:


> Ahhhhh, the British 3 position headlight switch: Dim, Flicker and Off.


I've spent my life in and around British cars (still have my MG). I love em' for all their faults - most of which can be fixed at the side of the road ..... which is where most of the fixing must be done anyway.


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## RIFF WRATH (Jan 22, 2007)

I hear you Allthumbs.....my first few vehicles were British (Morris, Austin, MGB,Commer), including a few Triumph bikes.........and to think...back in the midst of WWII in Britain they used to cover the headlights with only a slit showing light(s) because of the Nazi bombers......lol.........anyone remember those headlights for your bicycle that if I remember correctly, you used sulphur and added water??????


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

this thread sure swayed off the path


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## Guest (Oct 22, 2008)

GuitarsCanada said:


> this thread sure swayed off the path


Yup. And it renewed my CAS for an MG...urg...


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

iaresee said:


> Yup. And it renewed my CAS for an MG...urg...


My girl ....


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## RIFF WRATH (Jan 22, 2007)

wow...........she's a beaut........all I have left of mine is an old ownership and the octagonal emblum..........would it be politically correct to have an MG threat....lol


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## devnulljp (Mar 18, 2008)

Hamstrung said:


> It's also annoying when it creeps into advertising. My current favourite one to hate is Gatorade calling it's product an "Off Field Hydrator"! It's F*&^ing sugar water!!!!


The Japanese are more direct










They have another drink called Calpis, which cracked up my Australian friends (try it in an Ozzie accent...sounds like "cow piss").


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## devnulljp (Mar 18, 2008)

Milkman said:


> Just an observation
> let's change the way we think" = six syllables
> Paradigm Shift = four syllables


I have no idea what I'm talking about but I have to say something that sounds managerial = 25 syllables


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

RIFF WRATH said:


> wow...........she's a beaut........all I have left of mine is an old ownership and the octagonal emblum..........would it be politically correct to have an MG threat....lol


Thanks. That's a flattering shot. Just about every part of her is in need of some amount of attention - the last resto was over 20 years ago. I only put a few hundred "easy" miles on her each year and slowly collect parts in preparation .......how much for that emblem?


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

..lofu..lofu..lofu..



allthumbs56 said:


>


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## NB-SK (Jul 28, 2007)

devnulljp said:


> The Japanese are more direct
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Pocari Sweat is sold in Korea, too. Not the greatest tasting sport drink there is.

We also have 'Coolpis' in Korea (many Korean drinks and snacks were 'inspired' by Japanese products).


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## NB-SK (Jul 28, 2007)

devnulljp said:


> Rhetoric? Does that mean "bullshit" but with a specific emotional connotation?
> :food-smiley-004:


Not exactly. They both have a specific connotation. 'Bullshit' simply has a stronger negative connotation than 'rhetoric'...Not that it matters because most rhetoric is bullshit (in one way or another). :smile:


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

What the name of that scholarly book published about 2 years ago or so that was about bullshit (sic)?


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## Guest (Oct 23, 2008)

mhammer said:


> What the name of that scholarly book published about 2 years ago or so that was about bullshit (sic)?


Harry Frankfurt's On Bullshit? That was a good read. I enjoyed Crimes Against Logic as well.


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## WarrenG (Feb 3, 2006)

The Lada? Let's not forget about its tricked-out, slammed, race-ready brethren the Skoda...

OK, that's enough scope creep.

I never really understood the value or difference between an organisation's mission statement and its vision statement.

OH, and I've never taken a decision in my life. Not to dinner, not to the movies, not even for drinks. That's a decision I've MADE, and am standing firm. Damn French crosstalk for that one...


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

WarrenG said:


> OH, and I've never taken a decision in my life. Not to dinner, not to the movies, not even for drinks. That's a decision I've MADE, and am standing firm. Damn French crosstalk for that one...


:smilie_flagge17:
Took me months to get my tongue to do *that* trick.


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## BlameCanada (Apr 28, 2007)

Just saw this thread yesterday and made me think of some more buzzwords/bullshit that was one of many reasons I left management.

disconnect(oops never thought of that)

snapshot(we are in a hurry and didn't prepare for the meeting so here is a taste of whats going on)

skillset(bring in someone who knows wtf they are doing)

tweak(its only a little broken)

core values (make more money)


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

BlameCanada said:


> Just saw this thread yesterday and made me think of some more buzzwords/bullshit that was one of many reasons I left management.
> 
> disconnect(oops never thought of that)
> 
> ...



All good additions to the list and yes, all bullshit as well


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## Michelle (Aug 21, 2006)

Oh! Resurrected thread! Here's one, I really like how they were subtle about it.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/new-brunswick/story/2009/01/12/bellaliant.html

Not sure if I'll survive this time around, not sure if I want to............. (yes, I am a mgr but nobody's boss, I manage projects)


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## bagpipe (Sep 19, 2006)

Michelle said:


> Oh! Resurrected thread! Here's one, I really like how they were subtle about it.
> 
> http://www.cbc.ca/canada/new-brunswick/story/2009/01/12/bellaliant.html
> 
> Not sure if I'll survive this time around, not sure if I want to............. (yes, I am a mgr but nobody's boss, I manage projects)


This is a quote from your link:

"Executive positions have been reduced by one-third since I joined Bell Aliant last summer. The leaner management structure will bring all employees closer to customers, allow for faster decision making and reduce costs. We remain committed to improving customer service throughout the organization."

This is corporate bullshit at its finest to me. The reason for cutting employees is to reduce the bottom line - I can accept that. Its when they try and disguise it with this "the leaner management structure will bring employees closer to customers" crap that it bother me - how does a leaner management team equate to employees being closer to customers? 
Having suffered through this bullshit in the hi-tech industry for the last 8 or 9 years, this kind of corporate "management speak" has long since worn thin on me!


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## ratdog (Nov 20, 2007)

The term being used lately in my world is "matrix"


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## BlameCanada (Apr 28, 2007)

Matrix. Nice. Its ahead of the curve!!

Unfortunately in todays economy we are going to hear a lot of this mumbo jumbo.


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## Geek (Jun 5, 2007)

BlameCanada said:


> Unfortunately in todays economy we are going to hear a lot of this mumbo jumbo.



Or not


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