# Music and Your Marriage



## Krelf (Jul 3, 2012)

Yesterday I was listening to Jazz Radio in the car and my wife reached over and switched it off saying "*I had to do that. That terrible music is driving me nuts!"* I couldn't disagree. The trumpet solo was unmelodious and very repetitive and grating, and I actually had no qualms with her turning it off.

If it was a blues number that I was enjoying, the conversation would have been a lot different.

I am lucky. My wife will generally listen to everything I enjoy. And I'll put up with her Cher CDs as I don't find them _that_ bad. She will even put up with my guitar playing and when it's a bit loud she'll leave the room, close the door and watch TV.

How are the rest of you living with varying music tastes? Have they caused any unrest in your marital bliss? And what about your guitar or bass playing? Do you ever get the silent treatment if you spend too much time or money on it, or if the volume is a bit...high?


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

My wife is big on 'chatting'. Music is put on the back burner.


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## dodgechargerfan (Mar 22, 2006)

We're reasonably in sync.
Meaning she likes just about everything that I like.

There's a lot of stuff she likes that I don't. 
She likes the pop stuff, Glee, ABBA, BeeGees, extreme Elvis fan.

I like a lot of Elvis music, but she's caught up in the persona and the entertainer aspect.
If you want to see a fantastic Elvis show, track down a Stephen Michaels show. He's crazy good and no more cheesy than the original.


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## bzrkrage (Mar 20, 2011)

We were in the car the first week of our "dating" & Midnight Oil came on the local radio, she just started belting it out at the top of the lungs!
We were in my baby-blue 1978 Mini 1275, driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge with the windows down, both singing to the world.
I asked if she liked the Oils, she said" I', a environmental scientist trying to save the world from Green House Gases! Of cause I love the Oils!"

Been married over 10 great years now.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Generally she digs the blues stuff I listen to, and sometimes she'll listen to other styles I like, but she can't abide any music while she's studying or working. She tends to listen to pop and soft rock when she's driving, judging by the radio station she leaves on in the truck. She seemed to like some of my bands that played old rock and swing but ignores the celtic and folk groups I have. 

When we met (she was 17) she had some Rush, Led Zeppelin, and Styx in her collection.

Oftentimes she leaves the room, or if we're driving turns the music down.

I guess she's tolerant. She married a musician after all.

Peace, Mooh.


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

I can now say "the wife" as we finally got married in Vegas after 16 years of "this is my gf" etc. But I was blessed when I met Marnie and I prolly don't deserve her but she just goes with the flow and enjoys whatever I do. Maybe she just wants to make me happy but it has always appeared honest and genuine. She has become my best friend over the years. I even switched her from NASCAR to Indy cars in a year.


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## Chito (Feb 17, 2006)

9 years ago, after having stopped playing for about a year or so, I had an opportunity to play in a band, It was my present wife who introduced me to that band. I told her, playing mean spending a lot of time practicing, playing, etc. She said that's fine. Since then I've played in 6 bands, recorded 2 cds, played in different venues and crowds, and all through that she has been my biggest supporter. Never misses any of my gigs. She's there getting the crowd going, selling merchandise, taking photos. I even got her to appreciate jazz. She's been with me to concerts by Chick Corea who we've seen 3 times now, Return to Forever, Wayne Shorter, Pat Metheny. I guess I could say I'm very lucky.


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## Steadfastly (Nov 14, 2008)

We both like some pop, some classic rock, easy listening, a bit of classical but more of that live. I like country. She doesn't. Our marriage? It just gets better and better.


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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

My wife and I are polar opposites musically...she likes top40 pop and country exclusively, whereas I'm a rock/metal guy with especially low patience for Blake Shelton and his ilk.
at best, I would say we tolerate each other tastes in music. So whenever I drive in her car with her, I prefer to avoid the issue and just put the radio to a sports radio station.

but in fairness she turns a blind eye to most of my music purchases, didn't throw roadblocks when I used to jaming and gigging, and even once bought me a Gretsch 6120 Brian Setzer I had been gassing for, so it's not all bad.

- - - Updated - - -



Mooh said:


> Generally she digs the blues stuff I listen to, and sometimes she'll listen to other styles I like, but she can't abide any music while she's studying or working. She tends to listen to pop and soft rock when she's driving, judging by the radio station she leaves on in the truck. She seemed to like some of my bands that played old rock and swing but ignores the celtic and folk groups I have.
> 
> When we met (she was 17) she had some Rush, Led Zeppelin, and Styx in her collection.
> 
> ...


I call BS. There has never been a female that likes Rush.


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## bw66 (Dec 17, 2009)

In terms of listening, I like pretty much everything she likes, and the stuff that I like and she doesn't is easily avoided.

I try not to work on new repertoire when she is within earshot. For much of what I play (solo fingerstyle), learning new material is very tedious, even for me; metronome clacking away incessantly while I repeat the same four bars over and over again. And even playing existing repertoire, I try to mix it up a bit, which is getting easier as my set list slowly expands. She appreciates my playing more when I play at a party or rare gig and people say, "Your husband is very talented." to which she usually replies, "Yeah, I guess I don't really appreciate it."

She does enjoy our band (where I play bass) when we play - don't know if that's because of the music or getting to hang out with the other band members' spouses.

Having said all that, she is very supportive and if she ever said "no more guitar" I would find something else to do. 

Seventeen years next month.


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## kat_ (Jan 11, 2007)

We have some overlap but mostly different tastes. The overlap is almost enough for a road trip, if it's not too long. The husband doesn't usually come hear me play but every once in a while I notice him watching me on youtube.


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## Guest (Mar 12, 2014)

She likes more pop and R&B than I do. And she says some of the music I listen to is godawful stuff to kill yourself to (Portishead falls in to that category) but for the most part we're pretty tolerant music lovers who'll listen to anything for a non-long period of time.

Who ever is driving picks the tunes unless we're placating the kids in the back seat in which case it's usually a mix of Depeche Mode, Kid Cudi and the guys who sing the Gummi Bear Song.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Diablo said:


> - - - Updated - - -
> 
> 
> I call BS. There has never been a female that likes Rush.


I got the only one. ;-)

Peace, Mooh.


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## Petey D (Sep 8, 2011)

Although my wife leads an alternative lifestyle in most ways, her musical taste still leans towards the mainstream. She likes popular stuff like Lady GaGa and other poppy stuff that I just can't stand. She has always tolerated my Punk Rock, Rockabilly, and Phsychobilly, and we do share a fondness for 90's alt rock. Over the years, my music has rubbed off on her somewhat, she has Elvis, Social Distortion, and Creepshow songs on her playlists now, which I think is pretty cool.

As far as my playing goes, she has always been supportive and encouraging. She bought me two of my guitars, my Hollow Body and my acoustic, and she generally has no issues with my practicing. I always try be respectful and keep my volumes low(ish.) I only crank up the amp when she's out of the house really.


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

bzrkrage said:


> We were in the car the first week of our "dating" & Midnight Oil came on the local radio, she just started belting it out at the top of the lungs!
> We were in my baby-blue 1978 Mini 1275, driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge with the windows down, both singing to the world.
> I asked if she liked the Oils, she said" I', a environmental scientist trying to save the world from Green House Gases! Of cause I love the Oils!"
> 
> Been married over 10 great years now.


Wives and music ....... my first wife fell in love with me serenading her. Mid-marriage it was "you and that damn guitar!". Cars though, cars and music. Cars and Minis. My first car was this one. 61' 850 originally, but installed an 1100 engine and left the ratios for the 12" wheels and she was a screamer all the way up to 50. Eight of us crammed in that car going to the roller rink on a Friday night listening to Aqualung on the 8-track and drinking lemon gin from a paper bag. The car still lives, same colours, rebuilt for vintage racing.

Oh yeah, cars and music ........... oh wait, you said wives ...............


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## Steadfastly (Nov 14, 2008)

Diablo said:


> My wife and I are polar opposites musically...she likes top40 pop and country exclusively, whereas I'm a rock/metal guy _*with especially low patience for Blake Shelton and his ilk.*_


Diablo, how long have you been suffering with this condition? Your wife must really love you for staying with you so long considering she is living with a person with this problem.:sEm_oops: I do like a lot of rock music as well but usually take Blake, Alan and George first.:smile-new:


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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

Steadfastly said:


> Diablo, how long have you been suffering with this condition? Your wife must really love you for staying with you so long considering she is living with a person with this problem.:sEm_oops: I do like a lot of rock music as well but usually take Blake, Alan and George first.:smile-new:


Ugh...."Honeybee"...this generations "Achy-breaky heart"


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## 4345567 (Jun 26, 2008)

_______________


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## doriangrey (Mar 29, 2011)

Diablo said:


> I call BS. There has never been a female that likes Rush.



haha...no doubt...it's all guys at a Rush concert...

my wife is a bit strange when it comes to music...she is completely intolerant of loud music in the car (which is my fave place to blast tunes) but she doesn't seem to mind me buying guitars and hiding in my office all the time to practice, play and record. She gets a bit cranky when I'm practicing Mon and Tues night after work so I'm ready to go play with bands Wed, Thurs and Fri nights (the scenario last week)... we sometimes watch TV concerts together (Toto is her favorite)...she even likes watching Joe Satriani with me (go figure) but she doesn't like my Steve Vai concert DVD's ...says his music is weird...she is a big Michael Jackson fan and I can't stand his music so we clash a bit on that one


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## JCJ (Jan 3, 2008)

GuitarsCanada said:


> I can now say "the wife" as we finally got married in Vegas after 16 years of "this is my gf" etc. But I was blessed when I met Marnie and I prolly don't deserve her but she just goes with the flow and enjoys whatever I do. Maybe she just wants to make me happy but it has always appeared honest and genuine. She has become my best friend over the years. I even switched her from NASCAR to Indy cars in a year.


You like IndyCar? I just played an event in TCI for James Hinchcliffe's family. (Which was awesome, by the way).

Sorry, back to original post... My wife listens to classical stations, but when we met she had a Madonna cd in her car (almost a deal-breaker). Just kidding. However, she seems to really like Bob Dylan too.


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

Ya the music has outlasted all the wifes :acigar:


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Mooh said:


> I got the only one. ;-)
> 
> Peace, Mooh.


Actually, I lied. My brother's wife is a big Rush fan too. She and my wife are not otherwise related.

Peace, Mooh.


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## zdogma (Mar 21, 2006)

My wife dislikes most of my music, music buddies, playing schedule, gear hoarding etc. but she's really nice and hides it well. She does occasionally shut off the stereo at home or in the car which doesn't bother me too much (Rush drives her insane, lol). 15 years and we have yet to have an argument about it. She just rolls her eyes and tolerates.


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## High/Deaf (Aug 19, 2009)

Like most others here, we have 'taste circles' that partially overlap but also diverge. But we're both tolerant (well, I've always been - but most of my previous SI's were not even a little.......;-) ).

But I think in this case we've both introduced each other to new things. She actually wants to listen to (some) Devin Townsend Project (not SYL) in the car while I have grown to really enjoy David Grey, even learning a bit of his stuff (and not just for her). 

Oh yea, she also tolerated the Rush biopic, but I don't think she likes any of their music.......


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## doriangrey (Mar 29, 2011)

zdogma said:


> My wife dislikes most of my music, music buddies, playing schedule, gear hoarding etc. but she's really nice and hides it well. She does occasionally shut off the stereo at home or in the car which doesn't bother me too much (Rush drives her insane, lol). 15 years and we have yet to have an argument about it. She just rolls her eyes and tolerates.


That's not a ba scenario...that's nice she tolerates it and that it doesnt generate any arguments...sounds like she's a keeper...


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## Bubb (Jan 16, 2008)

My wife is a few years older than me but she says I have an older soul , so we kind of match up quite well.
We both have a wide range of music we enjoy and they overlap quite a bit.
Our tastes in jazz ,blues and classical are somewhat on the same level ,so that's mostly what gets played on the road .
The only things she kind of tunes out on is some of the long Allman Bros /Gov't Mule jam stuff and heavier stuff from my past I still put on once and a while.
Of course mood comes into play,but it does when I'm alone too.
Neither one of us has any desire to hear modern "pop" . 
All in all,quite compatable


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

when i met my wife she didn't know who led zep was. i asked her if she lived under a rock in a crick somewhere in osaka. she claims to be human. yet she only knows a few beatles songs, and the music she likes is sappy croony singers, especially ccm. before we were married i told her she would be educated in rock by me, and that it was not open for negotiation. it's not really her thing, but i need her to have some understanding of it, so i teach her little things here and there, and make her listen to music i think is important, and relative to some aspect i want her to experience. in many ways my wife and i are like jack sprat and his wife. we fill in the gaps for each other. she's a better woman than i deserve, yet she not only put up with me, but genuinely loves me. she puts up with my loud guitar, but she usually goes to the bedroom and takes a nap. she would like to learn drums but right now she's too busy with work and school. this august will be 8 yrs, and it seems to be getting better as we go.


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## marcos (Jan 13, 2009)

Been playing over 45 years and my wife has been with me all that time. We where 15 when we met and she liked the Beatles, Dave Clark 5, Hermans Hermits, buble gum music etc..
We get along just fine as long as we listen to this type of music. The only time we dont see eye to eye is when i listen to a Clapton song or she puts on a Celine Dion c.d.
Thats when the fighting beguins. LOL. I guess i,m lucky also.


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## rollingdam (May 11, 2006)

Tastes change over time-when we first met she liked Madonna,ABBA,and heaven forbid Yanni.

Over time she likes most of the music I listen too;she just can't stand it when I turn up something I like such as Hendrix.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Probably about 15-20%, at most, overlap in our musical tastes, and that's likely because my own tastes are broad enough. However, my tastes aren't broad enough to put up with more than 10min of American Idol at most.


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## Cartcanuck (Oct 30, 2012)

My wife loves pretty much all music, just like me. It's one of the things we share. She can hear a song a sing it back perfectly. She's pretty amazing when it comes to singing, vocal arrangements, etc. She's never listened to a lot of Blues, but if I listen to it, she will listen to it. She/we appreciate talent. She/we appreciates music. She's even come to like and appreciate a lot of Queen  We have similar tastes when it comes to modern Christian music, although I tend to like stuff with a bit more edge to the sound. I don't come from a christian background originally, so she has introduced me to a lot of music I've never heard and I've been able to do the same in the secular rock and blues world. 

She has always been very accepting and supportive of my interests, including my music. She became a fan of CART/IndyCar racing when I was fanatical about the series. She sat and watched all the races, and even planned our honeymoon around a race. She's shown the same love and support for my interest in learning the guitar, and the kind of music I like to listen to (although she's not interested in coming to see Tommy Emmanuel with me). Most often if a new CD comes into the house, it's something I bought and she's happy to listen to. In exchange, I get to "enjoy" American Idol, The Voice, The Sing Off, etc etc. If it's singing and music, she watches it and I'm fine with that. I will do anything to support her singing and her love of music too.


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## Ti-Ron (Mar 21, 2007)

My GF have a in between zone, what we could call "our music" but we both have preferences.
When I put metal or weird music on (think Primus, Buckethead, Fantomas or all Mike Patton's projects) she's not into it.

On the playing side, since I'm in a band she puts more attention into it. Normaly, she's just run away from me playing 'cause I'm not singing... she loves singer/guitar player, but the guitar by itself... not so much!


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## blam (Feb 18, 2011)

I'm married to music so it's all good...


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## Lincoln (Jun 2, 2008)

When I'm around the wife, I'm not allowed to sing any songs that might suggest I had a past of any kind or had any "experiences" what so ever before we met. I find that rather limiting.

Other than that, we mesh pretty good. She drags me into more of the current music, I drag her into the older stuff she missed while growing up.


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