# Worst song of the 80's ?



## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

First off, was the 80's the worst decade in music? Not sure



> From WENN.com
> 
> Starship's We Built This City has been named the worst song from the worst musical decade in a new Rolling Stone poll.
> 
> ...


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## Big_Daddy (Apr 2, 2009)

I would go with Wham! as the worst ever, not just the '80's. LOL.


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## Guitar101 (Jan 19, 2011)

I guess my tune "Your Love Is Like A Rubik's Cube" wasn't that bad after all. It didn't make the list. Mind you, it never became a hit either.
Here's the first 2 lines: On the day that we met I saw the colours in you. From the pain in my heart, I saw the colour blue.

That's all you get. I'm saving the rest in case the Rubik's Cube ever becomes popular again. (llol)


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## Morkolo (Dec 9, 2010)

Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up

I have always hated it, long before it became a way to annoy people on youtube.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

There's actually a lot of songs that, if you had no idea of the lyrics, you'd probably like a lot. It's the insipidness of the lyrics that drives you crazy.

Let's take "Never gonna give you up", for example. The tune, structure and production is entirely compatible with a lyric that is, say, about personal triumph over adversity or achieving some abstract set of goals. If it wasn't for the "you're my girl, girl" lyrics, and Mr Astley's hair and hairless dappled cheeks, it would never be the butt of so many jokes as it is.

I guess what drives people crazy is production that makes something sound like its about something very important, and then the lyrics and theme don't live up to that.

But as long as we're voting, Flock of Seagulls' "And I ran" is not exactly a lasting legacy to music.


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2011)

Chris de Burgh. Definitely awful. I remember being stuck in the back seat of the car wondering if _Lady in Red_ was my parent's way of torturing me on our trip.


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

Journey has never done anything for me, any song. :2guns:Open Arms

I didn't mind a few of MWH tunes.

Check out this rendition of Final Countdown...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-zHyimToek


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## Swervin55 (Oct 30, 2009)

Dan Hill....anybody?


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## LowWatt (Jun 27, 2007)

Living in America by James Brown ...only because it was disgraceful for a man that talented to release a song that awful.


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

I'm drawing a blank here. I remember the songs you've mentioned that they are in print here in this thread. Otherwise I would have forgotten them forever. But I am sure there is worse. Which likely the reason I don't remember any.


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

Journey? Starship? Are you kidding?Honestly, if those are even considered in this context, we're heading for a shit storm in this thread.


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## Jeff B. (Feb 20, 2010)

There are just so many choices it's hard to pick just one so I'll narrow it to just one singer. Phil Collins.


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## fretboard (May 31, 2006)

As someone who grew up on Detroit radio, I've got to say most of the "bad" songs I heard, were under that awkward "Canadian Content" heading. Lasting memory of my childhood would be coming to Toronto in the summer and having my "local" relatives bring me up to speed on the "new hits" as played on Chum FM...

I will humbly sumbit Echo Beach by Martha & The Muffins as exhibit A - although in all honesty, I can't bring myself to surf long enough to find out if that's officially an 80's tune or if squeaks in under the wire of the 70's.

For my money as a whole - that David Wilcox dude is one cat that might take the "honour" of worst 80's music. Take your pick of any of his tunes you'd hear on the radio (Layin' Pipe?? Bearcat??) and I'd much rather spend 4 minutes pulling the little toe on my right foot as far away as I can from the toe beside it to get the skin in there all tight, then start sawin' away with a coarse wood file until I reach my ankle... Easily (and gladly) take a collection of Platinum Blonde & Honeymoon Suite outtakes over that Wilcox guy.

(and I better not see anyone dissin' Aldo Nova's "Fantasy" or "Monkey On You Back" in this thread either...):smilie_flagge17:


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

LowWatt said:


> Living in America by James Brown ...only because it was disgraceful for a man that talented to release a song that awful.


Having spent an hour chatting with the late Mr. Brown, I'd have to agree with you.

70's comedian Franklin Ajaye (recently seen in Bridesmaids) used to have a bit where he described the lyrics to a James Brown single as "Hah! Ungh! Yeah!" and then described the flipside was "the instrumental version". That one always makes me smile.



> For my money as a whole - that David Wilcox dude is one cat that might take the "honour" of worst 80's music. Take your pick of any of his tunes you'd hear on the radio (Layin' Pipe?? Bearcat??) and I'd much rather spend 4 minutes pulling the little toe on my right foot as far away as I can from the toe beside it to get the skin in there all tight, then start sawin' away with a coarse wood file until I reach my ankle...


Wilcox (another guy I spent an enchanting and fun hour chatting with) is a puzzling guy. He can be a phenomenal phenomenal player and performer (the shows I used to catch at The Groaning Board and the Mocambo in the late 70's were jaw-droppers) but has such dreadful self-penned material. When you know what the guy is capable of, you're reluctant to accpet the criticisms noted fully. But I know where you're coming from....unfortunately.


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## prodigal_son (Apr 23, 2009)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_Y6ZTQcau0

Immediately I thought of this song, not necessarily the worst but certainly along the lines of 'same train of thought'..


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## 4345567 (Jun 26, 2008)

__________


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## 4345567 (Jun 26, 2008)

__________


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## keto (May 23, 2006)

nkjanssen said:


> I'd have a hard time thinking of a song I hate more than "We Built this City". It's detestible on many, many different levels.


Check, fully agree. Many levels. Starship was not Airplane, Mr. Milkman.

Safety Dance is a fun song, I don't get that one. Even 'Wake Me Up' isn't bad, though I admit a guilty sin of (gasp! is he admitting this in public??) of enjoying many Wham! and George Michael songs...despite the fact that I despise their genre generally and vociferously.
Hot chicks! Great song!
[video=youtube;diYAc7gB-0A]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diYAc7gB-0A[/video]

Wilcox, at least there's some interesting guitar playing and good tone going on under the ...lyrics.


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2011)

fretboard said:


> I will humbly sumbit Echo Beach by Martha & The Muffins as exhibit A - although in all honesty, I can't bring myself to surf long enough to find out if that's officially an 80's tune or if squeaks in under the wire of the 70's.
> 
> For my money as a whole - that David Wilcox dude is one cat that might take the "honour" of worst 80's music. Take your pick of any of his tunes you'd hear on the radio (Layin' Pipe?? Bearcat??) and I'd much rather spend 4 minutes pulling the little toe on my right foot as far away as I can from the toe beside it to get the skin in there all tight, then start sawin' away with a coarse wood file until I reach my ankle... Easily (and gladly) take a collection of Platinum Blonde & Honeymoon Suite outtakes over that Wilcox guy.
> 
> (and I better not see anyone dissin' Aldo Nova's "Fantasy" or "Monkey On You Back" in this thread either...):smilie_flagge17:


These....these are fighting words.


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

All I can remember really digging from the 80's was The Cars. I am sure there was much more, but they come to mind first.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

nkjanssen said:


> No way! That's a good tune!


It's a _fun_ song - I enjoyed it - but it's actually not a particularly good piece of music. They did a much better job on "Women (around the world at work)", which has one of those great concise edge-of-chaos guitar solos.


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## fretboard (May 31, 2006)

> These....these are fighting words.


Not sure I follow which words are worthy of dropping the gloves - The Martha, the Wilcox, the Platinum Blonde? I'm sure we can all agree on the Aldo Nova comments...

If it's about the Wilcox, that's just one of a few acts that I totally miss the redeeming qualities of. Never heard of the guy until I was 19 and got to University and all the preppy Toronto folks thought they'd uncovered a blues legend. To me at that time (and still now), that would have involved B.B. King's Live At The Regal - certainly not some Layin' Pipe tune... I lump him in with Kim Mitchell - I'm glad they get to do what they like and make a living off it, but I'd just rather listen to open auditions for a school band at a junior high school somewhere for students with no previous musical instrument experience.

Can we agree Eddie Murphy's classic "Party All The Time" should if nothing else, get an honourable mention?

[video=youtube;bDbpzjbXUZI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDbpzjbXUZI[/video]


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2011)

fretboard said:


> The Martha, the Wilcox, the Platinum Blonde?


All three of these.

But truthfully I jest about fighting; I like those bands, you don't. Whatever. There's no universal truths here.

High on my list of 80's snore tunes would be Pride and Joy by SRV -- I don't get the love of that song. Hell, that whole Texas Flood disc bores the me to tears.


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## 4345567 (Jun 26, 2008)

__________


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## fretboard (May 31, 2006)

I agree with you, iaresee - it's just a difference in upbringing I think. Without having any Canadian Content, as far as I knew the only acts out of Canada were Rush & Triumph (and to a lesser extent, The Guess Who). All my friends from say anywhere east of London knew all sorts of bands that I'd just never heard of (April Wine, Max Webster, Trooper, etc) - if you grew up with them, you probably liked them.

Now that I'm up here and away from Detroit radio, I hardly ever get to hear any Billy Squier, The Baby's, J. Geils Band (pre-Freeze Frame), etc.

I'm sure from some of your other posts we could have the same discussion on The Grateful Dead vs. Phish. (one I TOTALLY get - the other could entertain me for 15 minutes or so before I'd need some sort of sideshow trampoline or vacuum act to keep my interest)


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2011)

fretboard said:


> I'm sure from some of your other posts we could have the same discussion on The Grateful Dead vs. Phish. (one I TOTALLY get - the other could entertain me for 15 minutes or so before I'd need some sort of sideshow trampoline or vacuum act to keep my interest)


Ha! Yea, I think I'm the polar opposite of you on those two bands. Phish Phan, not a Dead Head. I don't mind a few Dead tracks, but they never struck me like Phish did.

With a lot of music I like, I think time and place when I was introduced to have a lot of bearing on how much I'll like it.


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## keeperofthegood (Apr 30, 2008)

Hmm you know, worst for me would be Micheal Jackson's _enter the name of any song he did_. A very close second would be anything sung by the singer of this band (though I think I might like him if he had his sinuses surgically unblocked):

[video=youtube;XSCJJkFgt_w]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSCJJkFgt_w[/video]


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

iaresee said:


> With a lot of music I like, I think time and place when I was introduced to have a lot of bearing on how much I'll like it.


I think thats true. I remember a few of my buddies sitting me in a corner in pitch black with a strobe light flashing and them waving fishing poles within an inch of my face to this tune, at ear splitting volume. With a belly full of rot gut whiskey and 4 joints in. I have a fond place for that song in my memory ever since.

[video=youtube;4YPiCeLwh5o]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YPiCeLwh5o&amp;feature=related[/video]


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2011)

GuitarsCanada said:


> I think thats true. I remember a few of my buddies sitting me in a corner in pitch black with a strobe light flashing and them waving fishing poles within an inch of my face to this tune, at ear splitting volume. With a belly full of rot gut whiskey and 4 joints in. I have a fond place for that song in my memory ever since.


Ha! Nice. I'm a big Kraftwerk fan. Hard to not dig that kind of enthusiasm. It's rare.


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

iaresee said:


> Ha! Nice. I'm a big Kraftwerk fan. Hard to not dig that kind of enthusiasm. It's rare.


I turned my kids on to Kraftwerk when they were young. Minus the Whiskey and grass of course.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

fretboard said:


> Wilcox, that's just one of a few acts that I totally miss the redeeming qualities of. Never heard of the guy until I was 19 and got to University and all the preppy Toronto folks thought they'd uncovered a blues legend. To me at that time (and still now), that would have involved B.B. King's Live At The Regal - certainly not some Layin' Pipe tune... I lump him in with Kim Mitchell - I'm glad they get to do what they like and make a living off it, but I'd just rather listen to open auditions for a school band at a junior high school somewhere for students with no previous musical instrument experience.


Actually, he WAS that good. And I've seen BB at his peak close up, Duane, Richard Thompsn, Larry Coryell, John McLaughlin, Adrian Belew, and many others. Wilcox used to be fricking brilliant.



> Can we agree Eddie Murphy's classic "Party All The Time" should if nothing else, get an honourable mention?


Oh that one can take home an award as far as I'm concerned. A perfect example of what happens when you're surrounded by people who tell you you're wonderful every single day, and you're only competent at a couple of things.


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## fretboard (May 31, 2006)

Do me a favour then mhammer - gimme a couple tunes of his I should track down that aren't one of the 3 or 4 I might have encountered through casual radio listening. Always willing to try something new on. 

I'll fire up some Sister Christian first - just to cleanse the pallet, then I'll see if I can make it through some Wilcox without having to sacrifice a toe (insert Big Lebowski joke here - You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me...)


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## prodigal_son (Apr 23, 2009)

How about Abracadara by Steve Miller Band or Freeze Frame by J. Giels Band?


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## NGroeneveld (Jan 23, 2011)

Young American by David Bowie.


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## Guest (Oct 8, 2011)

mhammer said:


> A perfect example of what happens when you're surrounded by people who tell you you're wonderful every single day, and you're only competent at a couple of things.


But, I'm Rick James B*tch!


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

I give Wilcox some credit for rocking it out at the same time as this other slop of the 80's. I think that alcohol had a good grip on him in that decade. 

I still play and like Breakfast at the Circus.

Can we erase the whole Flashdance soundtrack from our memory bank while we are at it ?


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

David Wilcox. You had to see him live. I saw him in the late 70s and the early 90s. (missed the alky years). Really good live. Met him once. Nice regular guy.


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## Brennan (Apr 9, 2008)

I'm clearly in the minority here, but I actually like most of the songs listed in this thread so far. =P


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

I'd have to strongly disagree with Wilcox and SRV. But that's my opinion.

Some songs of DW to check out are:

Cheap beer joint, Bad apple, Hypnotizin' boogie, My eyes keep me in trouble, Downtown came uptown, I see you, Something shakin', Cactus, Brain fever.
These are all off the first three albums. I still listen to Breakfast at the Circus too.


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## bw66 (Dec 17, 2009)

mhammer said:


> There's actually a lot of songs that, if you had no idea of the lyrics, you'd probably like a lot. It's the insipidness of the lyrics that drives you crazy.
> 
> Let's take "Never gonna give you up", for example. The tune, structure and production is entirely compatible with a lyric that is, say, about personal triumph over adversity or achieving some abstract set of goals. If it wasn't for the "you're my girl, girl" lyrics, and Mr Astley's hair and hairless dappled cheeks, it would never be the butt of so many jokes as it is.
> 
> ...


On the other hand, there are a lot of great tunes from the eighties that suffered from being wildly _over_-produced. One of my jamming buddies is a virtual encylopaedia of eighties tunes and it is surprising how many of them work really well around the campfire (the ultimate test of a great tune. IMHO).


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## avalancheMM (Jan 21, 2009)

A-ha, "Take On Me", enough said


Regards


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## hummingway (Aug 4, 2011)

All of this is pretty subjective but when talking the worst song how can Built This City be seriously considered? Certainly it has had the longevity to continue to annoy (if you didn't like the song) but that is because the song works for a lot of people. 

This bit of air pollution on the other hand: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvQex1RQ5G4 came and mercifully went quickly, which is what the truly bad songs do.


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

avalancheMM said:


> A-ha, "Take On Me", enough said


There's another song I would have forgotten forever if it had not been mentioned.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

hummingway said:


> This bit of air pollution on the other hand: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvQex1RQ5G4 came and mercifully went quickly, which is what the truly bad songs do.


Oh crap, why did you have to ruin my otherwise perfect day? I had to wash my brain out with some Zeppelin.

Peace, Mooh.


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

They had rock songs in the 80's?


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

allthumbs56 said:


> They had rock songs in the 80's?


Not really. The hair metal thing was going pretty strong which evolved into the dreaded power ballads, ugh.
I think that's why I got into grunge, just looking for something closer to "music".

In the 80s, SRV was a savior for me. I got into a lot of punk then too.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

fretboard said:


> Do me a favour then mhammer - gimme a couple tunes of his I should track down that aren't one of the 3 or 4 I might have encountered through casual radio listening. Always willing to try something new on.


I find the same material every bit as disappointing as you do. Sadly, his best days were *before* he had a recording contract. I've never heard anything from his albums that lived up to even 1/10 of what he used to do live. That sumbitch could play a Flatt & Scruggs breakdown on his Strat at breakneck speed, and in a heartbeat, without blinking, he'd switch to George Benson/Grant Green/Wes Montgomery style, then to Albert King. He'd be playing a blues solo, building it, and you'd be thinking "Oh dear lord, Puh-LEASE hit that note", and he'd hit it like you've never heard it hit before. My wife and I heard him do the Butterfield's Better Days tune "Small Town Talk" at the El Mocambo, and he out-Garretted Amos Garrett on that. Just f-ing brilliant. In some ways, he's a bit like Eric Johnson - he shouldn't be fronting his own band.....though I do miss the invisible velour cowboy hats he used to give out at his shows as prizes, and the big Salvador Dali moustache he had.


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## hardasmum (Apr 23, 2008)

Brennan said:


> I'm clearly in the minority here, but I actually like most of the songs listed in this thread so far. =P


My thoughts exactly!

I DJ a couple of nights a month in Toronto and play loads of 80's gems from such artists as....

Elvis Costello
The Clash
The Jam
The Police
The Beat
The Specials
Love and Rockets
The Buzzcocks
The Cure

Oh wait a second. Maybe 80's music just sucked on this side of the Atlantic.


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## 4345567 (Jun 26, 2008)

__________


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## Beach Bob (Sep 12, 2009)

Anybody toss any "Huey Lewis and the News" on the fire yet?


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

It probably took longer to write that than the song, a fitting obituary ! 



nkjanssen said:


> I have a hard time truly hating any song like "Mickey" that's just kind of goofy and fun. On the other hand, "We Built This City" is supposed to be taken seriously. It's a song that purports to be rebellious while actually being the absolute pinnicle of corporate-manufactured "rock". An anthem for "todays young rockers", as approved by a unanimous resolution of the board of directors. It sounds like it was written by a machine that surveyed the most common elements of pop/rock songs and determined what melodies, chords, rhythms and lyrics would be the most easily digestible for the uninitiated. There is no fun in there in any sense of the word. It's the opposite of rock and roll. Some songs are bad enough to be entertaining. At that point, to me at least, they are no longer _truly_ bad. WBTC doesn't acheive that. It's just purely horrible on every level.
> 
> ...of course that's just my take on it.


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## al3d (Oct 3, 2007)

The 80's were a METAL decade basically. It started with the British invasion...then the guys in LA decided to put on make-up and heels and call it GLAM metal!...WTF..LOL. As far as Shitty songs...pretty much anything written by Poison!...

When i see songs like "i've built this city", "Mickey"..."Take on me" or even worst...Rick's tune....it reminds me that a certain Group...in the 80's they were called Preppies."...were into those..and always the same folks..yet, 30 years later in party's or wedding and such event those tunes will HUNT YOU...but bring back memories of our youth...for those of the 80's like myself..


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

nkjanssen said:


> I have a hard time truly hating any song like "Mickey" that's just kind of goofy and fun. On the other hand, "We Built This City" is supposed to be taken seriously. It's a song that purports to be rebellious while actually being the absolute pinnicle of corporate-manufactured "rock". An anthem for "todays young rockers", as approved by a unanimous resolution of the board of directors. It sounds like it was written by a machine that surveyed the most common elements of pop/rock songs and determined what melodies, chords, rhythms and lyrics would be the most easily digestible for the uninitiated. There is no fun in there in any sense of the word. It's the opposite of rock and roll. Some songs are bad enough to be entertaining. At that point, to me at least, they are no longer _truly_ bad. WBTC doesn't acheive that. It's just purely horrible on every level.
> 
> ...of course that's just my take on it.


And that is a distinction that gets made in other mediums as well. When lists are made up of the worst movies of the year, what invariably ends up near the top will be not low-budget ineptly made films with no-names folks who think they are "actors", reading off a bad script. Rather, it will be things that had the sort of production and advertising budget that could build a new school or hospital.

Basically, people just resent it when someone HAS the means and resources to do something really worthwhile, and what they deliver is something much less than that. It's not so much that the final product is truly awful, but that it gets docked additional points for not living up to what it could have been. So, undoubtedly "Battlefield Earth" had much higher production values than "Plan 9 From Outer Space", but people love the latter and despise the former, because the latter was made on a shoestring budget by whomever the director could cajole into helping out, and the former cost millions.

The members of Jefferson Starship are all competent players, and they used all the right production strategies, but the end-product is so formulaic, it annoys. It doesn't annoy me nearly as much as it annoys some folks here, but I understand their disappointment. I mean how on earth could Grace frickin' Slick do something that insipid?

Personally, I'm a big fan of Sam the Sham & The Pharoahs. I have 8 singles by them. Is it "quality" music, and reflective of the best the 60's had to offer? Um, not by any stretch. Is it fun music? Absolutely. They knew they were a fluffy party band, and stuck to that.


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## davetcan (Feb 27, 2006)

Air Supply.


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## Chubba (Aug 23, 2009)

Interesting thread - 

Some of the stuff mentioned i think is awful, and some is stuff I really enjoy(ed - or maybe more accurately - remember fondly...lol) - I always like hearing Fine Young Cannibals - i like the distinctive sound of the singer's voice, but can see how it would grate on many people...

my memories of the 80s are of Run-DMC, Beastie Boys, LL Cool J (I only recently realized the extent of the influence Rick Rubin had on my musical tastes as a pre-teen/teenager, and what I like in production value to this day) and listening to CFNY on Saturday nights and taping the music they would play - i have this memory of this tape that a sequence of something like Ministry (i think...'you don't have to be poor any more! Jesus is Here!') Ramones, the Cure, and David Bowie's 'fame'...my parents listened to CHUM FM, but when I hear a lot of those tunes, they make me think of TV commercials...Pointer Sisters' 'Jump for my Love' makes me think of Corn Pops or something like that for some reason...lol


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## Chubba (Aug 23, 2009)

oh...and +1 for Eddie Murphy's 'Party all the Time' being among the worst!


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

mhammer said:


> Personally, I'm a big fan of Sam the Sham & The Pharoahs. I have 8 singles by them. Is it "quality" music, and reflective of the best the 60's had to offer? Um, not by any stretch. Is it fun music? Absolutely. They knew they were a fluffy party band, and stuck to that.


Funny I have been looking at a lot of Doug vids lately.... but Texas is all about party anyway


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## Starbuck (Jun 15, 2007)

The Safety Dance!


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## Accept2 (Jan 1, 2006)

I like the Safety Dance. My choice for worst is Pet Hate, Wreck the Radio. The fact that I found it on You Tube makes this a very disturbing universe..........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQEYDz9PgcM


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## hummingway (Aug 4, 2011)

Accept2 said:


> I like the Safety Dance. My choice for worst is Pet Hate, Wreck the Radio. The fact that I found it on You Tube makes this a very disturbing universe..........
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQEYDz9PgcM


I don't think there's any song not on youtube!


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## wintle (Mar 25, 2008)

al3d said:


> The 80's were a METAL decade basically. It started with the British invasion...then the guys in LA decided to put on make-up and heels and call it GLAM metal!...WTF..LOL. As far as Shitty songs...pretty much anything written by Poison!...


I usually agree with Al, but Poison got a lot of guys some action.

My vote goes to Paul Simon Graceland.

Cheers


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