# Sh*t my dad told me...



## ezcomes (Jul 28, 2008)

anyone have some good stories? I've got a few...

When i was younger, doing math homework I was having problems with Trig (i was probably early teens), he told me that a right angled triangle has two 90 degree angles...i effectively stopped asking for help that night...

i won't post them all first...we'll see how this plays out


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

My father was a decent, heartfelt man, but he didn't dispense advice all that often. I remember three bits of it:

On having priorities in life: "Don't fill up on bread"
On love, romance, and sex: "They _like_ it" (as in "Don't assume they don't like it")
On having a sense of direction in life: "A man has to have a dream"

That's pretty much it. Now that I think of it, had he lived long enough, all of his advice could have fit in one Tweet.


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## Guest (Dec 9, 2010)

"Right tool for the right job."

"Always put my tools back where you found them."


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## Built4Speed (Aug 31, 2009)

The one that always sticks in my mind came as I watched my dad swap tires out on a wheel rim by hand. After about half an hour of frustration, sweating and throwing every curse he had at his disposal at that tire, he finally got it onto that rim. In a moment of pride, as he wiped the sweat off his brow, he looked at me and said "There! It just goes to show that with a little hard work, and a lot of swearing, you can accomplish anything". 

Which was quickly followed by, "Don't tell your mom I said that".


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## Stratin2traynor (Sep 27, 2006)

On living life and doing stuff that scares you..."Don't worry about it. Just do it."...simple but very true
On work and pretty much everything else that requires effort..."Give it 100% and you'll be surprised at how many doors open for you"

That's pretty much it. The other stuff he taught by example:

1. treat EVERYONE with respect
2. If something doesn't work, fix it.


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## greco (Jul 15, 2007)

The one I like from my dad is related to relatives visiting your home:

"Relatives are like fish...after 3 days....they stink"

Cheers


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## jimihendrix (Jun 27, 2009)

Built4Speed said:


> "There! It just goes to show that with a little hard work, and a lot of swearing, you can accomplish anything".
> 
> Which was quickly followed by, "Don't tell your mom I said that".


That is hilarious...it sounds just like something my father would say...!!!...even the "don't tell mom" part...!!!...ha ha ha...


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## jimihendrix (Jun 27, 2009)

greco said:


> The one I like from my dad is related to relatives visiting your home:
> 
> "Relatives are like fish...after 3 days....they stink"
> 
> Cheers


You're father is a wise man...


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## jimihendrix (Jun 27, 2009)

As a small child...I used to help my father out with home renovations...he'd say things like..."hold these two wires while I run back to the fuse box to see if the power is on"...( I think was his "expendable" son...)...

As a teen...If I were to go out for a walk to the mall he'd say..."here...put this quarter in your pocket...that way...the police can't arrest you for vagrancy"...( this could have something to do with him emigrating to Canada alone at age 15 with empty pockets...and not knowing a word of English...I don't know...he won't elaborate )...

As a young man...Our little "birds and bees" talk involved a simple pat on the head with the words..."don't get anyone knocked up"...(oops...too late )...***as a side note - those paternity tests really do work...!!!...***


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## Alex Csank (Jul 22, 2010)

My Dad was a psychologist, an immigrant from Hungary who had survived the war as a teen, a philosopher and a very intelligent man; I was a rebellious, A.D.D. type who experimented with all the things the mid-70's had to offer! While expounding on our latest version of how to "save the world" (my friends and I), my Dad quipped: "Inanimate objects do not move." His implication was that whatever we were discussing was meaningless if we didn't take the actions to make things happen. A little later, he came back after having reflected upon his own statement and added: "...unless you look at them very closely!", clearly demonstrating his scientific streak and implying that atoms and molecules continue to move even in an apparently solid object. My 'stoned' friends and I NEVER forgot that day! And all my friends had a great deal more respect for my Dad than they ever had before.


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## simescan (May 15, 2007)

My dad never told me to shut-up, but his favorite line was, "Ya know son, when you're talking, you're not learning anything".
....guess that meant, "LISTEN once in a while"


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## OldSoulBluesMan (Jul 9, 2009)

One that sticks out in my mind form my pops was this little tid bit.

"When you're at the bar with your buddies and the words 'I love you man' come out. Get the cheque. Within ten minutes the stools will be flying across the bar."

I thought he was joking until my 21st birthday. This happened step by step. Luckily I was all settled up and got to watch it unfold from just outside. Moral of the story. You're old man really does know everything haha

OSBM


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## Fader (Mar 10, 2009)

My Dad told me "never trust a French safe" and to this day, I have never ever kept any money at the Bank of Montreal.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

it's a testament to my father that i managed to learn anything at all from him. what he did somehow manage to teach me is pretty valuable stuff. all of it i learned without knowing i learned it, until sometime later i suddenly understood something current, because of something he'd once said ages ago. i wish the me that i am now could know him.


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## keto (May 23, 2006)

fader said:


> my dad told me "never trust a french safe" and to this day, i have never ever kept any money at the bank of montreal.


aaaaaaahahahhahahahahaha win!


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## Steadfastly (Nov 14, 2008)

I tell this story about me and my Dad when someone I know or someone in my company works too fast and doesn't do a good job.

My Dad asked me one day to replace the wood underneath the hinges on our front screen door. I didn't want to do it right then because I wanted to go somewhere but he insisted. So I cut the two pieces of wood as fast as I could, nailed them on and screwed the screen door hinges back on. 

My Dad never said anything to me about the poor job until a few days later when he was taking me down to the lake to go swimming. As he swung the car out the the driveway and started to go forward past the house. He stopped for a second. He said, "those boards you cut are cut crooked aren't they?" I told him "yes". He then said, "No one will ever know how fast you did that job, but they will know you did a poor job and who would hire someone who did work like that?" He never mentioned it again. He didn't have to.


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## Spellcaster (Jan 7, 2008)

My father never offered much advice except one thing...

When I bought my first car he saw me piddling around under the hood and gruffly said "Don't open the hood unles the g/damn thing needs oil."

He was right.....


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## ezcomes (Jul 28, 2008)

Spellcaster said:


> My father never offered much advice except one thing...
> 
> When I bought my first car he saw me piddling around under the hood and gruffly said "Don't open the hood unles the g/damn thing needs oil."
> 
> He was right.....


hahaha...ok...best story...

my car needed a tune up...most of all, it needed the decade old spark plugs replaced...i had exams and had to study...he offered to change them...
i get home from studying and he says...well...the plugs are in and i stopped the leak...i said, pardon?? 

he says, the rad was leaking so i stopped it...

i said, i know theres a small crack near the top by the cap, but it wasn't leaking bad...

he goes...on no...this hole was about the size of a screw driver handle...

i said WHAT?? how'd that get there??

well...i accidentally shoved a screw driver through it he says...

i never did get a good answer as to why he was using a screw driver to replace spark plugs...and i won't go into the rest of the story...it'll raise my blood pressure...


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## Duster (Dec 28, 2007)

My dad has taught me many good things, through strange-but-simple Italian sayings, but I know for a fact that he in turn got them all from his dad. My grandfather was an infinitely wise man who never went to school, but served in WWII, then amassed the kind of real knowledge and wisdom you can only get from working on a farm.

One of my favourites, that I use often, is "You have to know when you're holding the knife by the blade. The more you squeeze, the more you get cut."

"Family are like boots. The tighter they are, the more they hurt you."

"If you marry for money, you will earn every penny."

"Don't worry about your big debts, you'll never be able to pay them off anyway. And let your small debts get big."

"The horse cared for by its owner, always thrives."

"You can't have a full barrel and a drunk wife."

I'm sure I"ll have plenty more if I think about it a bit.

--- D


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## Morkolo (Dec 9, 2010)

My Dad told me a few while my Mom was going through her "change of life" or menapause as some put it...

"If there's any such thing as reincarnation than I hope I come back gay."

"The man who orders his wife around in front of his buddies is the same one that has a bad back from sleeping on the couch so often."


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## zurn (Oct 21, 2009)

My dad didn't really tell me set a example for me but I did learn from his mistakes.

I still have a steady job and I'm still with my wife and family after 15 years. On a lighter note, I inherited his love for music and sense of humour.


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## Big_Daddy (Apr 2, 2009)

My dad was born in 1918 and was the oldest of seven sons, raised by my Norwegian grandparents. Both of them were cold, hard-working, no-nonsense people who homesteaded in southern Saskatchewan in 1902. Farming 2 sections of land by hand in the prairies during the "dirty thirties" must have been an arduous life. My dad recalls that, during some of the dust-storms that raged for weeks on end, my grandma would have to turn all of the dishes on the table face down or they would be covered with dust blowing through the cracks of their house. He and his 6 brothers slept in 2 beds together, and, when they were older, moved to the bunkhouse. Their toilet was a three-holer out behind the bunkhouse and their water came from a hand-pump. My dad was never a loving or affectionate person but certainly taught by his example. He worked 6 days a week for as long as I can remember, getting up at 6 AM every morning and getting home after 5 PM every day, so he could support us. He never complained, never cheated on my mom or at anything he ever did, and never did anything half-assed. He expected nothing less from his kids. Dad started playing guitar when he was 16, buying a May Belle acoustic from the Chicago Conservatory of Music in 1934 for $15.00. That guitar is now hanging in my music room. When Dad was 87, he had a minor stroke and, when he came home from the hospital, could not remember how to play the guitar any more. So what did he do? He taught himself to play again. A son needs no better example than that. When Dad came to my house this fall for my 60th birthday, he said he wanted to see my guitars. I first pulled out my cherished '64 Strat and he played that for a while. Then he tried my PRS and a couple of the others. He put them all down with a shrug and said, "Give me back that Strat." This pic was taken a moment later.










Love you, Dad.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

that was a cool post


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## Ti-Ron (Mar 21, 2007)

Many good stories! As every teen, I was a jerk and was sure my dad did many mistakes. We are living in a really small town in Temiscamingue (near New Liskeard or Tri-Town for you ontario peoples! ) and my dad used to live in Montreal for about 15 years, got married with a girl from Montreal and had a really god job. That was really good for a little boy who came from a big familly of 14 kids, really poor and from a little town. In 1980, he give up on everything, quit the job, brings his wife back in Temiscamingue and never looked back. WHen I was a teen I was sure that was the most stupid thing EVER. Why on heart would you want to live in a sh*t hole like this little village? After high school, I packed all my stuff and told my parents that I had to go to school in Montreal and I would probably never came back in that sh*ty hole.
After 8 years in Montreal I asked my dad why he leaved the big city, he had a good job (still earn less money then in 1980) and he simply answer:
"I choose good life over money."

You know what, I'm moving back in this region, not the same village but a bigger town really near. I convicted my girlfriend to come with me and we are lookin' for a house and probably star a family. Just like my father did!
Small cities are only smaller but less strass, less cars, more place, nature around....I can go on and one!
My dad was a wise man!


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## Starbuck (Jun 15, 2007)

My Dad is a man of few words, but one thing he said to me when I would bitch about work was "You knew the job was tough when you took it" So very true.


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## Big_Daddy (Apr 2, 2009)

Starbuck said:


> "You knew the job was tough when you took it" So very true.



LOL, famous recurring quote from Super-Chicken to his sidekick, Fred (remember the George of The Jungle cartoon series?)..........

"You knew the job was tough when you took it, Fred!"


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## Starbuck (Jun 15, 2007)

Big_Daddy said:


> LOL, famous recurring quote from Super-Chicken to his sidekick, Fred (remember the George of The Jungle cartoon series?)..........
> 
> "You knew the job was tough when you took it, Fred!"


Nope! never heard of it. We didn't have more and CTV and CBC.


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## Duster (Dec 28, 2007)

A couple more:

"Allergies? Yeah, I have allergies. I am allergic to extreme heat, cold, and hard work."

"Every once in a while, the urge to work comes upon me. But if I just sit down for a minute, it passes."


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## Chubba (Aug 23, 2009)

my 2 serious talks with my dad:
"just...don't ever get married" - just out of the blue, he was driving me somewhere
"be careful, you don't want to get a girl pregnant when you're this young" - this was pretty much our 'birds and bees' talk, also pretty much out of the blue...

and the oft-repeated, "I complained I had no shoes, until I saw a man with no feet"...it's kind of a wise, put-things-into-perspective kind of statement...but he would always follow it up by laughing out loud...so it always confused me...does he think he's telling a joke, or trying to make me think? lol


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## Morkolo (Dec 9, 2010)

Chubba said:


> my 2 serious talks with my dad:
> "just...don't ever get married" - just out of the blue, he was driving me somewhere
> "be careful, you don't want to get a girl pregnant when you're this young" - this was pretty much our 'birds and bees' talk, also pretty much out of the blue...


I heard those two a lot too haha.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

one thing my dad said to me once stuck in my mind not so much for the content, but for the tone that delivered it.

_don't take any shit from anybody at work, ever. if you do it just one time, you'll always do it after that. pretty soon you'll be a doormat._ 

i was about 13 or 14 when he said that. it was out of the blue. he just dropped it like a rock in the middle of a rant about something unrelated to working or being a doormat. after he said it, he continued right where he left off on what ever rant i was tuning out of at the time. i took the advice to heart, and it's served me well so far.


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## prodigal_son (Apr 23, 2009)

'It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.'

The sad part is that he is on his fourth wife.


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## ezcomes (Jul 28, 2008)

...and there was...

first there was the "Guess Who"...but the guitarist and drummer quit...so they renamed the band to just "Who" and kept going...


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## ezcomes (Jul 28, 2008)

i've been on a Joe Walsh James Gang kick lately...and it didn't hit me until i heard Rocky Mountain Way by Triumph...

...yea...Joe was a founding member of Triumph when they recorded this song, and then he went solo...

all i can think of is that childrens book...oh the places you'll go...imagine if i took it all for truth


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## gtone (Nov 1, 2009)

The great thing about being a dad is that you can pass on your own "sh*t":

To my son when I handed him some spending cash as he headed off to college: "Don't waste it on lapdances - they're not worth it". My wife's jaw was hanging lower than I'd ever imagined it was capable of...


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## david henman (Feb 3, 2006)

...the one piece of advice that i will always remember is "never rob a man of his dignity".
perhaps, one day, i'll begin to fully understand what he meant...


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

when it comes to dads, this kids dad has it all sewn up:

loled.net :: funny lol pictures - StumbleUpon


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