# Fly in the ointment



## droptop88 (Aug 25, 2006)

Heres the background:


Was asked by this bass player to do a fill in. I've met him before; turns out I've met ALL the guys before, at jams on and off over the last few years. Like myself, all experienced players, local, day jobs. 4 piece: acoustic, electric, drums, bass. It goes well, in fact I had the most fun I've had playing in quite a while. No rehearsal, just cold. I know all the songs. Month later, bass player calls me again. That goes well. Then BP asks if I'd like to do couple of gigs per month - seems the regular guitarist is moving to the West coast. I say yes, based on the two (very positive) experiences so far.

Next gig, I'm asked to go out front and listen, set levels, etc. No problem. I hear that the bass is too loud, ask BP to turn down slightly. He immediately get defensive, ignoring me the rest of the evening. O.K, everyone has a bad day. Wife tells me to let it ride.

BP emails me asking for a rehearsal at my home. Throw in some songs, please. Sure, I say. 

So he shows up an hour late. Would rather not play the tunes I suggest. We decide on two tunes each, next rehearsal in one week. Drummer, singer and myself show up with the tunes learned. BP is fumbling through, trying to learn all eight tunes on the rehearsal. Tells me I dont have a life cause I took the time to learn the tunes. Seems insecure and confrontational.

But when we all play, its GREAT. BP is very musical and inventive on the bass. He plays left handed, BTW. Acoustic player is a nice guy, has a great vibe and sings really well. Drummer taught jazz for years, truly a pleasure to play with AND a great guy. I'd rather play, but IME guys like this aren't about to change their personality, whether in the workplace or in a band situation.

Any suggestions on how to deal with an individual like this? Anyone been here?

Thanks, Peter


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## co-intelpro (Jan 11, 2008)

Sounds like he sees you as a threat to his position in the band, as band "leader" or whatever. If your goal is not to take over, ask him out for coffee and get to the bottom of it. Clearing the air early will make things easier in the long run.


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