# Anyone else have a wife who...



## b-nads (Apr 9, 2010)

Bitches at you or finds new chores to do the second you pick up a guitar, regardless of everything you do around the house?


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

Told my wife the other day that I often give her small things to bitch about on purpose so she doesn't find something big to bitch about...


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## mrmatt1972 (Apr 3, 2008)

Nope. Mine's totally supportive.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Mine buys me guitars.


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## mario (Feb 18, 2006)

My wife bitches at me that I do not play out as often as I did in the past. She is as someone else mentioned totally supportive of my guitar playing.


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## dodgechargerfan (Mar 22, 2006)

Yeah, I get shit for not playing enough.
I also get shit for the messy garage, but hey... Pick yer battles.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

Nope. If there is something i said i would do and i grab the guitar first, thats on me anyway. She does a lot around the house, so i dont get too defensive when im asked to help (unless im tired or hangry).


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

my wife is about as oblivious as one can be. i can play anytime i want to and it's cool with her. ask her to tell you anything about what i do though, and she doesn't have a clue.
if it's not amy grant or tso, it's not on her radar


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## Guitar101 (Jan 19, 2011)

Can she sing or play an instrument. Get her in the band and your golden. That's what I did.


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## Electraglide (Jan 24, 2010)

I don't listen.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

She just complains when I play before 7:30a.m. She's more about volume than play time.

The above said, most women are assholes, so i wouldn't fret.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

adcandour said:


> The above said, most women are assholes, so i wouldn't fret.


I think that is already the problem


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## johnnyshaka (Nov 2, 2014)

Along with it being Fathers' Day today it was also our 12th anniversary so she bought me 12 guitar picks and was looking into lessons for me. I was going to ask her why she didn't buy me a 12-string guitar as well but figured I'd be pushing my luck. 

I'd say my wife is supportive so long as the only GAS I have is the stinky kind.


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## Moosehead (Jan 6, 2011)

JBFairthorne said:


> Told my wife the other day that I often give her small things to bitch about on purpose so she doesn't find something big to bitch about...


Brilliant! Gonna steal that one if you don;t mind.

Yes I get chewed out constantly, it's gotten to the point I only bother plugging in when she's out of the house. 

One of these days I'll find me a newer/younger, less bitchy model. Only debate is do I go for MIA or MIJ, although a recent trip to europe has me looking at M.I, U.K. (the accent is dead sexy) or elsewhere in the E.U. I hear they use higher quality tonewoods and dont bother with the mass production of North america or mij.


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## Electraglide (Jan 24, 2010)

Moosehead said:


> Brilliant! Gonna steal that one if you don;t mind.
> 
> Yes I get chewed out constantly, it's gotten to the point I only bother plugging in when she's out of the house.
> 
> One of these days I'll find me a newer/younger, less bitchy model. Only debate is do I go for MIA or MIJ, although a recent trip to europe has me looking at M.I, U.K. (the accent is dead sexy) or elsewhere in the E.U. I hear they use higher quality tonewoods and dont bother with the mass production of North america or mij.


Mine are local. The imports are very high maintenance. I figure I'll keep the older model 'cause she buys me the occasional Harley and just have the other 3 on the side. They don't say much. When you get chewed out with an accent it isn't sexy....it's still being chewed out.


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## fredyfreeloader (Dec 11, 2010)

Never says anything, she bought me a 2016 L P for christmas, besides that she was my keyboard player for years.


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## Moosehead (Jan 6, 2011)

Electraglide said:


> Mine are local. The imports are very high maintenance. I figure I'll keep the older model 'cause she buys me the occasional Harley and just have the other 3 on the side. They don't say much. When you get chewed out with an accent it isn't sexy....it's still being chewed out.


Ha! Mine was the reason I sold my '84 Shadow, now if she bought me a Harley to replace it all might be forgiven.


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## Electraglide (Jan 24, 2010)

Moosehead said:


> Ha! Mine was the reason I sold my '84 Shadow, now if she bought me a Harley to replace it all might be forgiven.


This wife, like the other two, likes bikes. She started packing when she was 12....Harley's from day One. She got her own bike in 2003. She rode on the back of my bike once....she now is a lousy passenger. There's never been any problem with money being spent on bikes or bike parts. I look at an old guitar and she starts making noise. The work she wants done on her bike this winter will come in at around $4000 or so. 
I give up houses and wives/girlfriends and keep my bikes.


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## b-nads (Apr 9, 2010)

Then I envy many of you, and sympathize with others. It's been like this for me since we met.


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## Guitar101 (Jan 19, 2011)

Just change your screen name from b-nads to go-nads and lay the law down.


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

adcandour said:


> She just complains when I play before 7:30a.m. She's more about volume than play time.
> 
> The above said, most women are assholes, so i wouldn't fret.


Sure they are...but aren't we too? It's all about being compatible in your asshole-ness. I've been known to say...it's better to be an asshole than the whole ass.

I asked the kids what they got me for Father's Day (wife was at work). They said ummmm a Telecaster (ongoing joke, I've wanted one for over 2 years). I asked where is it? They said, umm, Mommy is bringing it home with her. Bitch only brought me a handful of Werthers.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

JBFairthorne said:


> Sure they are...but aren't we too? It's all about being compatible in your asshole-ness. I've been known to say...it's better to be an asshole than the whole ass.


True. That's the key to a successful marriage, imo.

The only difference is that we were assholes from the beginning. Women bloom into their assholeness.

@b-nads - If she's always been like this, you just gotta deal with it (as I'm sure you do). I can only feel for you if it developed over time.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Long before Mrs. Mooh, I was entangled (read engaged) with a girl who barely concealed her neurosis and once she lost control of it all the deceit and manipulative behavior was laid bare. Originally she let on that my playing was a cute aberration, but eventually insulted and mocked me for it. (She was a very good accordion player, fwiw, though we never once played together.) I actually quit my band for her..."we need more time together" she argued...when actually we needed no time together, it just took me a while to realize it. All this to say that when your partner doesn't accept your hobby, profession, likes and dislikes, you're likely in trouble. 

Mrs. Mooh is another thing altogether. She doesn't share all my idiosyncratic pastimes, but she accepts and supports them. Once in a while she'll question the current household affordability of something, mostly because she's the bookkeeper, but she never stops me from buying. If I'm making too much noise, she moves to another room. She comes to most of my gigs, her amusement is being able to say she's sleeping with the guitar player. She didn't give me grief for bringing fishing equipment on our honeymoon either.


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

Honestly, I'm content with the wife's apparent apathy towards my playing. Sure it would be nice if she was enthusiastic...but that would probably mean that I would have to (pretend to) be enthusiastic about the stupid shit she's interested in. Much too high a price. I mean, she's really into some lame shit. Mutual apathy works for us.


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## Guest (Jun 20, 2016)

JBFairthorne said:


> They said ummmm a Telecaster (ongoing joke, I've wanted one for over 2 years).


Left handed fender American telecaster | guitars | St. Catharines | Kijiji

Fender Telecaster MIJ All Black LEFT HAND | guitars | Markham / York Region | Kijiji


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

I saw the American. $1250 "pretty mint" except for "2 minor dings on the back". $1250 is too much for a used mint condition...and 2 dings on the back isn't even "pretty mint".

I'm not sure if I've seen the MIJ one though. I might do a little digging into that one. I'm curious what model it is. The wife just got a new (used) car. I might be able to leverage that into a $700 guitar. The MIJs are nice, but I'm really kinda hankering for a newer American for the belly contour on the back. That's currently the ONLY lefty model with a belly contour. My gut ain't getting any smaller.


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## Guest (Jun 20, 2016)

Build your own (warmoth, allparts etc)?


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

Looked into that too. Specifically to satisfy my Thinline itch. I've never seen a US lefty thinline. I priced the body out recently. Somewhere in the $600 USD ballpark. Add to that US Fender neck, hardware, electronics as well as a case and it starts to get ridiculous (with a used loaded neck, new bridge, pots etc, used or new pus, used HSC, approximately $1500-$1700 CDN (for something with a resale value of $700, more if I pull it apart and sell pieces, but not much more). A new American Standard is around $1800 with tax. A new custom G&L ASAT is around $2500.

While I appreciate your "looking out for me" (sincerely), I'm slightly obsessive and I've wanted one for a long time. Do you REALLY think there isn't ANY option I haven't considered and priced out realistically? Ah well, everyone has their cross to bear. Fak I hate being a lefty guitar player.


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## Guest (Jun 20, 2016)

There's Cithara Guitars.
Located in Mansfield. Not far from you.
They had a table at the Elmira show.


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## ed2000 (Feb 16, 2007)

Anyways..getting back to the topic Wives and S.O.'s vs Guitar playing.
"How come you have time to play guitar and yet, you don't have time to vacuum or do the dishes????"

This is my lifeMJF$#*#*(


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

$2600 for basswood...I think not. You think G&L resale value is ridiculously low? Try selling a $2600 used guitar that no one has ever heard of.

Now you're just grasping at straws. I mean, I know you spend lots of time at work looking through weird, often funny, cartoons or pics to post here...but now you're just getting crazy. LOL.


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

ed2000 said:


> Anyways..getting back to the topic Wives and S.O.'s vs Guitar playing.
> "How come you have time to play guitar and yet, you don't have time to vacuum or do the dishes????"
> 
> This is my lifeMJF$#*#*(


Umm, because playing guitar is fun and washing dishes sucks? The real question is, does washing the dishes suck more than listening to her bitch about NOT washing the dishes?

Sorry for unintentional derail. I blame Lari.


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## Lincoln (Jun 2, 2008)

my wife has issues as well.


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## Guest (Jun 20, 2016)

JBFairthorne said:


> .. but now you're just getting crazy. LOL.


You ain't seen nothing, yet.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

JBFairthorne said:


> $2600 for basswood...I think not. You think G&L resale value is ridiculously low? Try selling a $2600 used guitar that no one has ever heard of.


I traded it in for $1600 worth of other guitars.


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## Rick31797 (Apr 20, 2007)

I feel for the guys out there that have bitchy wives.....I think knowing how to play musical instrument is a gift, not every one can do it...and anybody that tries to deter someone from this is just being selfish, and only thinking of themselves.
They should be encouraging and supportive, not bitchy and insensitive.


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## ed2000 (Feb 16, 2007)

Rick31797 said:


> ........I think knowing how to play musical instrument is a gift, not every one can do it......
> They should be encouraging and supportive, not bitchy and insensitive.


Apperently I am more gifted at dishes than at guitar.


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## Jamdog (Mar 9, 2016)

ed2000 said:


> "How come you have time to play guitar and yet, you don't have time to vacuum or do the dishes????"


I have an automatic dishwasher. But I don't own an automatic guitar player. I need practice on the guitar, not on the dishes. 

Although, if I had more spare time, I could build an automatic guitar player... 

http://gizmodo.com/robotic-player-guitar-shreds-on-its-own-1697316032


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## High/Deaf (Aug 19, 2009)

My SO is fantastic, nothing but support. It feels good to not have to butt heads with that issue.

But there is this nice, older (mid 60's) lady across the street who comes over and chats when I sit on my front step and practice. Her husband still works and she would like him to retire. She says: "I'll tell him I sure wish he'd retire because I have a list of things for him to do around the house." I told her: "If you really want him to retire, tell him he should retire so he can sit around, watch sports and drink beer. You have to give him something to look forward to, not dread." 

I don't know if she got what I was saying, I guess I'll just watch and see if he quits going to work. Probably not. He, like myself, would know it was just "bait and switch". That list she needs to get done isn't going away soon............without his involvement.


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## Guest (Jun 20, 2016)

I worked with an old Italian gentleman who was retired and fairly well off
(including owning vineyards in the 'old country'). His reason for coming 
back to work? 'I got tired of hearing my wife yelling out the window
'Tony .. do this, do that' .. fuggedaboutit! I go back to work'.


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

The wife puts in a lot more hours than I do, she runs the shop 6 days a week. I handle all the housework. Guitars.... she digs them


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

Do any of you guys with the "nagging wives" communicate about the issue?

I'm going to have to move 3 guitars out of the living room into the basement, but that's because there's a band staying over tomorrow after their gig in Toronto.


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## GTmaker (Apr 24, 2006)

this is what happens when you don't have a caring wife....
G.

Guitars and Gear for Sale or Trade | guitars | Cambridge | Kijiji


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

Budda said:


> Do any of you guys with the "nagging wives" communicate about the issue?
> 
> I'm going to have to move 3 guitars out of the living room into the basement, but that's because there's a band staying over tomorrow after their gig in Toronto.


You're still too fresh to throw down the communication card. My wife and I didn't fight once for the first two years of our relationship. No arguing. No nothing. Everything was smooth sailing until we had our kid and she realized I suck at dealing with babies.

When you get married and have a baby, things get real. It's a loss of identity thing (or what you thought what your identity was). I could be wrong, but this is across the board with all the guys I know.

You can still have a great relationship, but it's not the Cosby show. 

As I mentioned earlier, unless guys here are in their second marriage or were previously married and are now in a post-marriage relationship with someone in a similar situation, I'm calling bullshit on the perfect wife thing. They could also be downplaying the issues, since they're essentially neutered and oblivious.


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

Trying to communicate about the wife's nagging....umm I'll pass thanks.

In all fairness I joke about her, but we get along great most of the time. We DID have a stretch of 2 or 3 years where we hated one another but that passed. I was just too stubborn and simply refused to leave because I wanted to be present for my kids. It's been my experience that we get along much better when there's someone else or a situation that requires us to "gang up". We've been together almost 16 years now. What works for us might not work for everyone. There's no magic formula when you're dealing with 2 different, flawed people.

I've often told the wife that, you've just gotta decide to be happy. It sounds simplistic, but there's really not much more to it than that.


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

adcandour said:


> You're still too fresh to throw down the communication card. My wife and I didn't fight once for the first two years of our relationship. No arguing. No nothing. Everything was smooth sailing until we had our kid and she realized I suck at dealing with babies.
> 
> When you get married and have a baby, things get real. It's a loss of identity thing (or what you thought what your identity was). I could be wrong, but this is across the board with all the guys I know.
> 
> ...


Its very, very rare to find someone that is a "perfect match". Most all marriages require some kind of compromise from one if not both participants. There is a delicate line between compromising and ignoring or just plain giving up. As much as we as a society want to eliminate any differences between the sexes it is impossible. Those that either take the time learning or have learned through experience what a man is and what a woman is in terms of the way they think will stand the best chance of success in a relationship. I learned the hard way but quickly. I also got very lucky with my current wife. A few of you have met Marnie and even though they have only met her briefly I would bet that most would say she is a breath of fresh air. Her attitude and outlook on life is such that she is a joy to be around. When I met her she had never been to a concert, she has probably been to well over a hundred now. She just jumps on board anything you throw at her. If I said to her today lets go scrounge around pawn shops for guitars she would be out the door in second. She could care less about guitars, but she gets off on me enjoying them. Same as I do with anything she gets into. Its compromise but its actually taking an interest in someone you really care about. When you choose to share your life with someone it has to be both ways. Putting a smile on her face is my greatest joy in life. I never felt that way about past relationships. So I consider myself very fortunate.

Kids can certainly change things. Any disagreements we ever had was over the way we raised our kids. Mine are older than hers and she chose one way and I chose another. But I have seen many. many women change when they have kids. Many times a woman will switch over total attention and commitment to the child and the husband fades out. Unfortunate but I have seen it many times.

There is no such thing as perfect though. We are all human beings. But I can sincerely say that I don't think there is another woman out there for me. I know a good thing when I see it and I have it made.

She even switched over from NASCAR to Indy Cars..... can you ask for any more?


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## fretboard (May 31, 2006)

Been almost a decade since I've caught hell for anything guitar related.

I "retired" mid-30's to stay at home with our kids while my wife travels the world for work. As part of that process, we came up with an agreement on how things would roll around the house in this new set-up. I gave up jamming with buddies on a consistent schedule, a large part of my perceived self-worth (at first anyway), basically any justification for my University degree, adult conversations, etc. and got to add all of the cooking/shopping/cleaning/errand running. My wife has elevated her career to the point financially that my going back to work isn't something we discuss as apparently some women are more than happy to give up all the "normal" household chores in pursuit of their own ambitions. I am free to claim any evening after 9 as "guitar room" time (usually when I know she's away the following day - she works from home so we're both here everyday basically - so I can stay up until 2, get 5 hours of sleep then get the kids off to school so I can crawl back in bed) and if there is new gear to be purchased (honestly, I'm sorta past that point now as our oldest is becoming a very prolific bassist and now has multiple axes/amps so for now, it all goes to him) that I just have to "justify" said purchase at the dinner table - but it's been a couple years anyway since I've felt like I needed to add anything more to my arsenal.

It's very easy to justify personal items when you're the person that cooks their food, cleans their clothes, etc...

It works for us. No more nanny for the kids, ball hockey or jamming with the kids after supper/homework most nights. If I do hang out with anyone during the day (rarely now - the kids are old enough I haven't had to walk them to school for a couple years now) it tends to be the neighbourhood moms who all adore me with my sob-stories like "You think that's bad? When I turned 40 I got a new Dyson vacuum as my mid-life crisis because our old vacuum was crap."

Hypothetically, a case could be made some of you guys catching hell from your wives might have a dude like me chatting them up during the day...

The one thing I don't do when my wife is home is wail away during the day. I will use that time as string changing/cleaning/whatever needs to be done so I'm ready to go when the kids are in bed - but the amp doesn't get turned on if she's home and working. Hardly a price to pay in the grand scheme of things, and she's away enough I can find the time when I need to.

Gotta go wash some dishes and whip up a couple loaves of cherry/pineapple bread with what I think will be a morning of cranked Pearl Jam in the kitchen (wife is away). Damn you 9:56 AM on a glorious Tuesday.


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## High/Deaf (Aug 19, 2009)

Very well said, Scott. I feel the same in my current situation. Maybe it's because I had a few bad ones - I now appreciate (VERY MUCH) the good one I have. She enjoys seeing me happy, and I, in turn, enjoy seeing her happy. For her, I will compromise occasionally to make that happen. And she will too.


(edited: is that Ari Luyendyk with Marnie?)


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## Guest (Jun 21, 2016)

happy wife = happy life.


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

High/Deaf said:


> Very well said, Scott. I feel the same in my current situation. Maybe it's because I had a few bad ones - I now appreciate (VERY MUCH) the good one I have. She enjoys seeing me happy, and I, in turn, enjoy seeing her happy. For her, I will compromise occasionally to make that happen. And she will too.
> 
> 
> (edited: is that Ari Luyendyk with Marnie?)


Yes sir, he was racing in a legends race in Vegas that year. The other dude is Andrew Ranger. He was just a kid in his second year I think, out of Quebec. Here is Paul Tracey and AJ Allmendinger when he was still in Champ Car. Plus a bad picture with Seb Bourdais. She is smiling more with Tracey because she hated him.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

@adcandour Im not talking about a perfect wife. Just working to improve a relationship.

Sub in bandmate or coworker and it still applies.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

Budda said:


> @adcandour Im not talking about a perfect wife. Just working to improve a relationship.
> 
> Sub in bandmate or coworker and it still applies.


I didn't think you were 

It's just that after 15 years, the Dr. Phil stuff only sounds good in theory. 

Communication can't rehabilitate habitual behaviour or somone's inherent perspective/predisposition/feelings. You aren't likely to talk your significant other into suddenly enjoying your playing (or even tolerating it). 

My view is that for things to work, you have to enjoy who you both become post-child - then stuff like playing a guitar isn't an issue.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

@adcandour I don't disagree with the last line. I do however stand by my view that if two people don't communicate issues *and work towards improvement* (baby steps in most cases I'd wager), then absolutely nothing has a chance of improvement. Communication can change perspective or feelings, there's been proof of that all over the place.


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## Rick31797 (Apr 20, 2007)

Its that 20 year mark of marriage that seems to get alot of couples ...a great percentage cannot get by it..


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

Budda said:


> @adcandour I don't disagree with the last line. I do however stand by my view that if two people don't communicate issues *and work towards improvement* (baby steps in most cases I'd wager), then absolutely nothing has a chance of improvement. Communication can change perspective or feelings, there's been proof of that all over the place.


I can't really disagree with your first statement, since it's self-sealing.

I _do_ agree that communication _can_ change perspective and feelings in _some_ instances. I'd be delusional to believe otherwise. I just don't think it's common - at all.

For instance, I'll never change the way my wife deals with my son. Arguing is futile. Communication is very difficult. My wife is very adolescent and pulls the ear muffs out when I get close to proving a point that's irrefutable - and contradicts her beliefs/position. She comes from the school of 'talking louder and over someone' to win an argument. I, like seemingly most of us here, have taken their university or college "logic" or 'critical thinking' approach and know how to form an argument.

It's difficult for both of us (we both HATE how we argue). How did we overcome this hurdle?* We text each other our standpoint*. It's actually an amazing way to get our points across clearly and without name calling, ears steaming, and raised voices.

Now, you might be thinking that I just proved your point... 

But..., I was never talking about myself - I'm very happily married to my wife. I'm only discussing what seems to be the case with most of the people I know.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

I dont doubt you guys are good haha


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## Electraglide (Jan 24, 2010)

ed2000 said:


> Anyways..getting back to the topic Wives and S.O.'s vs Guitar playing.
> "How come you have time to play guitar and yet, you don't have time to vacuum or do the dishes????"
> 
> This is my lifeMJF$#*#*(


When we first got together I washed the dishes while the wife was at work. I didn't know that the Pepsi glass, the coffee cup and the coffee carafe only got emptied and washed once a week or so. Shortly after that I cut my finger on a knife and broke the Pepsi glass when the knife fell on it. In the last 10 or so years I've washed the dishes maybe 5 times......with the granddaughters. I vacuum parts of the basement and she does the upstairs.


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## Electraglide (Jan 24, 2010)

adcandour said:


> You're still too fresh to throw down the communication card. My wife and I didn't fight once for the first two years of our relationship. No arguing. No nothing. Everything was smooth sailing until we had our kid and she realized I suck at dealing with babies.
> 
> When you get married and have a baby, things get real. It's a loss of identity thing (or what you thought what your identity was). I could be wrong, but this is across the board with all the guys I know.
> 
> ...


Do third marriages, for both, with a few relationships thrown in count. I don't think in any of my marriages and relationships.....with or without kids...did I lose my 'identity'. 
@Budda....the wife and I both know when to talk and what to say when the other talks. If I want to 'communicate', I talk to the girlfriends. In July the wife's first ex and a few of the boys are riding out from Ont. They'll be here for 3 or 4 days. Moving 3 guitars is nothing.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

Electraglide said:


> I don't think in any of my marriages and relationships.....with or without kids...did I lose my 'identity'.


I have no doubt in my mind that you've kept your identity through it all


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## ed2000 (Feb 16, 2007)

Try living with a chronically depressed, medically prescribed psychotic drug dependent, OCD, controlling, unmotivated, left frontal lobe brain damaged woman with reduced physical mobility, who hates everything you do unless it's for her benefit...seems as if depression is contagious.


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## Electraglide (Jan 24, 2010)

adcandour said:


> I have no doubt in my mind that you've kept your identity through it all


Houses, yes. Money, lots of it. My mind....on a few occasions but identity. Nope. You lose your identity, you lose yourself and you might as well go sit in a corner and stare at the wall. You text each other. I can just see you and your wife sitting at the kitchen table texting each other. To me that's step one to a Dear John letter.


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## Guest (Jun 22, 2016)




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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

Electraglide said:


> Houses, yes. Money, lots of it. My mind....on a few occasions but identity. Nope. You lose your identity, you lose yourself and you might as well go sit in a corner and stare at the wall. You text each other. I can just see you and your wife sitting at the kitchen table texting each other. To me that's step one to a Dear John letter.


To be clear, I haven't lost my identity - it's just changed to accommodate the new dynamic of being married with a kid - as it should, imo.

If you don't make changes to some degree, _you_ happen. I don't want to be responsible for leaving a wake of dysfunction behind me (especially while seeming proud of it).


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)




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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

Ha, re-reading that post, I realize it's a bit harsh. That's okay though - EG is tough enough to take it


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## Electraglide (Jan 24, 2010)

adcandour said:


> Ha, re-reading that post, I realize it's a bit harsh. That's okay though - EG is tough enough to take it


You are right, I happen. You don't have to change to 'accommodate a new dynamic', you just become a father. As far as leaving a 'wake of dysfunction' behind you? Well, as they say, Sh t happens.


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## Lola (Nov 16, 2014)

It's my husband who bitches, whines and complains. Sometimes not all the time though! But just when I get everything set up the way I want it, the _dream crusher_ inevitably comes through the door and says, "I am hungry and I haven't eaten much today". I make something easy and quick, piece of fruit and some yogurt and I am back in business within 20 minutes or so or if I really am into the song I get interrupted either trying to start or play, it's "make it yourself"! My boys are good. They make what they want themselves and rarely ever bother me


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## Rick31797 (Apr 20, 2007)

I think when one person has a passion for something, and the other does not , and does not care or understand how deep it is..then there can be a problem. You dont have to like what i do, but you need to respect thats its very important to me...


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## Guest (Jun 27, 2016)

.. after all, I respect and support what you like.


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## Gizmo (Aug 7, 2008)

I taught my wife to play bass guitar....
Now she has basses hanging on the wall and we've had a gigging band for 1o years.
Great fun playing live with your partner.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

Gizmo said:


> I taught my wife to play bass guitar....
> Now she has basses hanging on the wall and we've had a gigging band for 1o years.
> Great fun playing live with your partner.


I tried to teach my fiancee guitar, it didnt go very well. Fortunately she is great at drawing and painting, which I encourage her to do.


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## Alex (Feb 11, 2006)

Budda said:


> I tried to teach my fiancee guitar, it didnt go very well. Fortunately she is great at drawing and painting, which I encourage her to do.


Artwork for the band?


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

Alex said:


> Artwork for the band?


No, I wouldnt bother asking. Both my singer and his wife have a good artistic ability that has turned up some cool merch and album covers though.

I will get surprised with cool canvas gifs though!


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

GuitarsCanada said:


> Its very, very rare to find someone that is a "perfect match". Most all marriages require some kind of compromise from one if not both participants. There is a delicate line between compromising and ignoring or just plain giving up. As much as we as a society want to eliminate any differences between the sexes it is impossible. Those that either take the time learning or have learned through experience what a man is and what a woman is in terms of the way they think will stand the best chance of success in a relationship. I learned the hard way but quickly. I also got very lucky with my current wife. A few of you have met Marnie and even though they have only met her briefly I would bet that most would say she is a breath of fresh air. Her attitude and outlook on life is such that she is a joy to be around. When I met her she had never been to a concert, she has probably been to well over a hundred now. She just jumps on board anything you throw at her. If I said to her today lets go scrounge around pawn shops for guitars she would be out the door in second. She could care less about guitars, but she gets off on me enjoying them. Same as I do with anything she gets into. Its compromise but its actually taking an interest in someone you really care about. When you choose to share your life with someone it has to be both ways. Putting a smile on her face is my greatest joy in life. I never felt that way about past relationships. So I consider myself very fortunate.
> 
> Kids can certainly change things. Any disagreements we ever had was over the way we raised our kids. Mine are older than hers and she chose one way and I chose another. But I have seen many. many women change when they have kids. Many times a woman will switch over total attention and commitment to the child and the husband fades out. Unfortunate but I have seen it many times.
> 
> ...


Heck, I've met Marnie more times that I've met you, Scott. She's definitely one of your better attributes


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## fraser (Feb 24, 2007)

i have what i would describe as a part time wife.
she stays with me for a few days, weeks, or months-
then goes away for days, weeks or months.
weve never argued about anything-
she doesnt care about my music stuff or what i do with my money.
if i havent played for a while, she will shove a guitar at me-
if im playing with the band its cool- even at 4am.
i suppose thats why i keep her.

there was a period of time when she was sick and hospitalized etc-
i sold some of my things to provide for her.
its not like im selfish.
i just like doing my thing without hassles.

we live in a one room apartment-
if she is asleep i take an acoustic into the bathroom and close the door.
she says thats not necessary,
but i do it anyway.

before anybody chimes in with "wow you got a good one"-
theres a reason i call her the stoner witch.
(my friends call her the pit viper)


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## ThePass (Aug 10, 2007)

Never.

In fact, she just bought me a new American Deluxe v-neck Strat in Surf Green! And is always willing to entertain the kids so I can get some 'alone' time with my axes.

She can't cook worth a dam, but hey LOL.........


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

Wives cooking seems to be a lost art. I'm the cook here. The wife is restricted to anything involving boiling water or the toaster. Maybe the odd grilled cheese or french toast. But she DOES bake so I cut her some slack.


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## Lola (Nov 16, 2014)

Rick31797 said:


> I feel for the guys out there that have bitchy wives.....I think knowing how to play musical instrument is a gift, not every one can do it...and anybody that tries to deter someone from this is just being selfish, and only thinking of themselves.
> They should be encouraging and supportive, not bitchy and insensitive.


What about bitchy husbands? He is becoming more tolerant though! I just turn a deaf ear and a blind eye and do what I want to anyways. I have paid my dues! It's "me" time!
It would be really nice though if he were more supportive.

He loves Pink Floyd. When the band I am in wanted to do a cover of Comfortably numb he never complains about me playing too loud.


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## Rski (Dec 28, 2013)

One time I was in a relationship with this woman, that wrapped her arms around me as I played electric guitar a low volumes, it was kind of zen for me. After a zero tolerance for several years it seemed great.

However, one night when I came home from a studio jam, kind of pumped from that occasion, my red eyes sent red flags off to that one, the bitchy side was starting to show.... yikes ....exit


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