# How many people will you know in your lifetime?



## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Started thinking about it this morning, and adding up all the people you get to know by name or face, or who might recognize you, whether you consider them good friends or simply acquaintances, it's an awful lot of folks.

Consider all the people you went to school with at all levels (and especially if you changed schools), all the relatives, whether living or now gone, all your neighbours in the various places you've lived, the folks who regularly served you at various businesses, people you've incidentally played music with or met at gigs, people you were introduced to at a funeral/wedding/party, people on this forum, all the people you worked with or reported to in the various jobs you've held, etc. etc. Anyone who might elicit an "Oh, didn't you used to live/work at or go to....?" tilt of the head.

It's thousands and thousands. The people you meet and "know" during your life could add up to a smaller city. One estimate suggests about 80,000 ( https://www.quora.com/On-average-how-many-persons-do-we-know-during-our-lives )


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## Chito (Feb 17, 2006)

I don't have a clue how many but because of facebook, I realize what you are talking about. A lot of people I know though comes from places I have worked. Hundreds and they're scattered all over the planet.There is also a lot of musicians whom I have played with or encountered over the years. Of the over 900 people on my friends list on FB, I personally know 95%. The remaining 5% are online people that I have known over the years.


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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

"Know" in the biblical sense? Hmmm...probably only 20 or so. 








Youth is wasted on the young.


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## SWLABR (Nov 7, 2017)

I was thinking of something similar recently. I was thinking about a time during the mid-90's. I was living in Toronto, going to school during the day, and working in the evenings. Those people were my entire life! The friends... I _believed_ life long friends I saw at school (I only interact with 1 now, and not much) and the fun... like, legit fun I had at the restaurant I worked in. I don't know any of those folks anymore. But for 2 or 3 years, I could not imagine not having those people (good & bad) in my life. Even the (then) girlfriend who I married is gone, with ZERO contact. It is insane to think of how those people made up who I was then, and now, only my dad remains. 
School friends- gone
Work friends- gone
Girlfriend- gone
Even my Mum... passed away. 

There was a small group of high school friends I had by then lost contact with, and was sure I'd never reconnect with that I see more often now. After 12yrs in TO, I moved back to Niagara, and bumped into a couple. I still see/speak to them regularly. Just so odd the group from 94-97 ish are all gone.


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## Kerry Brown (Mar 31, 2014)

This is a first world thing. Much of the world still live and die and in a small village or small town at most.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Kerry Brown said:


> This is a first world thing. Much of the world still live and die and in a small village or small town at most.


Quite true. I often console myself with that fact, when I get momentary FOMO feelings.


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## Grab n Go (May 1, 2013)

SWLABR said:


> I was thinking of something similar recently. I was thinking about a time during the mid-90's. I was living in Toronto, going to school during the day, and working in the evenings. Those people were my entire life! The friends... I _believed_ life long friends I saw at school (I only interact with 1 now, and not much) and the fun... like, legit fun I had at the restaurant I worked in. I don't know any of those folks anymore. But for 2 or 3 years, I could not imagine not having those people (good & bad) in my life. Even the (then) girlfriend who I married is gone, with ZERO contact. It is insane to think of how those people made up who I was then, and now, only my dad remains.
> School friends- gone
> Work friends- gone
> Girlfriend- gone
> ...


Yeah, I totally hear you. That's kind of how life is. Those intense friendships fade with time.

I know Facebook makes it easier to stay in touch, but honestly, I didn't have the bandwidth to read about everyone's day-to-day in my feed. It sort of became noise to me. Eventually, I unplugged. 

But oddly enough, I find myself corresponding regularly with a few friends scattered across the globe. When they lived in the city, I never would have imagined that we would keep in touch years later.

So yeah, life's weird that way. Or at least, I'm weird that way. (Cue "In My Life"...)


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

I've taught hundreds of people how to play the guitar, some are very memorable, some not at all. Their names are in my records, but memories are not always in my head. With them are a lot of parents, spouses, girlfriends, etc.

As a unionist I represented hundreds of workers, as a labourer worked with hundreds more, as a musician played with scores of musicians in scores of venues, and as a neighbour had as many neighbours I knew than those I didn't know.

In my little community there are the businesses I frequent, and in the cottage community a whole other set of people.

Then there are those who are really friends of friends or family.

Bumped into an ex-girlfriend a few weeks ago. My sister and I were walking her grandkid along a beach when this woman comes towards us, calls me by name, all familiar like, and I hadn't the foggiest notion who she was. After some small talk we parted and my sister tells me who it was. Memory is weird. I probably came off as a jerk, but ain't it sweet what 40 years can do? Suppressed memories and I'm better off for them.

I still know people I met while still in diapers. 

Haven't seen my mother-in-law in over 30 years. She doesn't want to know me...or her daughter for that matter...so no particular loss, though it might have been nice if my kids had had another nice grandmother.


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## RBlakeney (Mar 12, 2017)

I know at least 15 people.


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## Always12AM (Sep 2, 2018)

442


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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

SWLABR said:


> I was thinking of something similar recently. I was thinking about a time during the mid-90's. I was living in Toronto, going to school during the day, and working in the evenings. Those people were my entire life! The friends... I _believed_ life long friends I saw at school (I only interact with 1 now, and not much) and the fun... like, legit fun I had at the restaurant I worked in. I don't know any of those folks anymore. But for 2 or 3 years, I could not imagine not having those people (good & bad) in my life. Even the (then) girlfriend who I married is gone, with ZERO contact. It is insane to think of how those people made up who I was then, and now, only my dad remains.
> School friends- gone
> Work friends- gone
> Girlfriend- gone
> ...


Its funny you say that. This summer an old friend/bandmate from high school died. At his funeral I only saw 1 other person from "the old gang" (his best friend and our other former band mate). His ex wife wasnt there or any of the other people from the old crowd. Almost all family. He was a popular well-liked guy, so I dont think karma had anything to do with it. It was surprising and eye-opening.
I think we just think our social bonds are stronger/more important than they really are. If it werent for FB, I wouldnt still be in touch with anyone from "the old days" in any form. Sometimes I google old friends, girlfriends etc. Most of the time, results turn up nil. I'd love to know what they've been up to even if you cant go back to the old days.


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## davetcan (Feb 27, 2006)

I don't think anyone really knows anyone. Hell, most people don't even know themselves.


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## bzrkrage (Mar 20, 2011)

FB was good for catching up with people from my past. I " friended" everyone, then culled, then refriended.
I find I don't want to burden people with....me. There are people I'd like to catch up with, but more in person that a text screen.
I find a beer and a laugh a lot easier than staged emojis & such.

FaceTime Skype & video was better.

So, maybe 20 people I know. The rest " think that I'm crazy"


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## player99 (Sep 5, 2019)




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## LouisFNCyphre (Apr 23, 2021)

Biblically? A few dozen. Personally? Too many.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

deleted...


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## SWLABR (Nov 7, 2017)

Diablo said:


> Its funny you say that. This summer an old friend/bandmate from high school died. At his funeral I only saw 1 other person from "the old gang" (his best friend and our other former band mate). His ex wife wasnt there or any of the other people from the old crowd. Almost all family. He was a popular well-liked guy, so I dont think karma had anything to do with it. It was surprising and eye-opening.
> I think we just think our social bonds are stronger/more important than they really are. If it werent for FB, I wouldnt still be in touch with anyone from "the old days" in any form. Sometimes I google old friends, girlfriends etc. Most of the time, results turn up nil. I'd love to know what they've been up to even if you cant go back to the old days.


Ya, a lot of people say similar things about Facebook. I have never had an account, so I guess I lose out on some of those potential connections from “the Old Gang”. 
Then there’s part of me that says I already have “too many people” in my life to juggle now, ha, ha….


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)




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## davetcan (Feb 27, 2006)




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## SWLABR (Nov 7, 2017)

davetcan said:


>


I've been to that graveyard in Liverpool. Eleanor Rigby's stone is there for all to see. 

(side note, it's a Church of England [Anglican] so there wouldn't be a "Father McKenzie", but I guess it rhymes better than _Vicar McKenzie_)


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## zztomato (Nov 19, 2010)

That old idea "six degrees of separation" is probably no more than 2 or 3 due to FB and other social media sources. A friend and neighbour of mine just posted a picture of himself hanging with Bruce Springsteen. So, I am one degree of separation from The Boss. Not that I want to meet him particularly but still, I could contact him using my friend as a reference and might get a reply. 

How many people do you _really _know though? I have many acquaintances and a small number of close friends.


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

If the average person will know 80k people, how many will someone who plays to crowds in bars for twenty or thirty years or who teaches 30 or 40 students a week know?

I often "meet" people who claim to have met me before and either because I have a terrible memory or because I've met so many people, I often have no recollection of having met them.


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## davetcan (Feb 27, 2006)

SWLABR said:


> I've been to that graveyard in Liverpool. Eleanor Rigby's stone is there for all to see.
> 
> (side note, it's a Church of England [Anglican] so there wouldn't be a "Father McKenzie", but I guess it rhymes better than _Vicar McKenzie_)


Actually "Father" is also used in the CofE. Not as widely as the Catholic Church but it's still quite a common honorific. (I'm a CofE Brit)





__





Religion | Style Matters






stylematters.margaretashworth.com





*clergyman *_is the generic term for Church of England ministers. Specific posts include *vicar *and* curate. *Some C of E vicars are called ‘*rectors*’ for historical reasons (in the past they received twice the amount of tithe as vicars) but they are referred to in the same way, eg ‘the rector, the Rev James Brown’. Some vicars choose to be known as ‘*Father*’ or to be referred to as a ‘priest’. In this case, call them ‘Father Jones’ throughout. Say ‘the Rev John Smith, vicar of All Saints (lower case ‘v’) or ‘rector’. The term ‘vicar’ is restricted to the Church of England._


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## SWLABR (Nov 7, 2017)

Dads C of E. we went to the cemetery yard together on that trip. It seems he didn’t know that. I can’t wait to tell him! Ha, ha…


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## davetcan (Feb 27, 2006)

SWLABR said:


> Dads C of E. we went to the cemetery yard together on that trip. It seems he didn’t know that. I can’t wait to tell him! Ha, ha…


I sang in a few church choirs and it was always "vicar" so I don't doubt that your dad has not heard it before.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

SWLABR said:


> I've been to that graveyard in Liverpool. Eleanor Rigby's stone is there for all to see.
> 
> (side note, it's a Church of England [Anglican] so there wouldn't be a "Father McKenzie", but I guess it rhymes better than _Vicar McKenzie_)


Very cool. One of my kids once called home from the airport in Liverpool, named for John Lennon.

[Just musing out loud here.]

Well, usually, but it (Father) does get used on occasion in the Anglican church here, perhaps less common in the C of E. I knew one priest here who wanted to be called Father, but I thought he was undeserving of it because he sought to elevate himself. Here it seems more common than the old fashioned sounding The Reverend Father, and less common than The Reverend (more often abbreviated to Reverend). 

Personally I'm not big on titles and other forms of address, or authority for that matter, so I tend to use first (given) names. However, usage varies considerably in the modern evolving church, and perhaps doesn't matter as much as it once did. My father was an Anglican priest and preferred not to be called Father, but tolerated it from me on Sunday mornings because he knew I was screwing with him. Most folks called him Bob, vets would call him Padre or Chaplain.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Milkman said:


> If the average person will know 80k people, how many will someone who plays to crowds in bars for twenty or thirty years or who teaches 30 or 40 students a week know?


I think the technical term is "a shitload".


> I often "meet" people who claim to have met me before and either because I have a terrible memory or because I've met so many people, I often have no recollection of having met them.


In the year or two after I taught an Intro Psych class of 1100 - 750 of them taking it via cable TV - I would regularly run into former students who knew* me*, but I didn't know* them*. We were driving back to Ottawa from the Muskokas, and I had to stop at an ONRoute to top up the oil. I was having difficulty getting the cap off to be able to pour the oil in and one of the people working at the service station there came out to help me. "You're Prof. Hammer, aren't you? I took a course from you."

I guess the good thing is that one can't have any bad habits...at least none either conducted, or declared, publicly, because you never know who will be watching or listening.

A decade or so back, I ran into Bruce Cockburn, checking out a lovely blonde tolex Bandmaster in the now defunct Retrotown Music. I mentioned to him that I had interviewed him back in 1970 when his first album came out. He confessed he didn't remember me, to which I replied, in jest, that I had held a grudge about it, ever since.

One has to wonder about those folks who work in broadcast media and whose job is meeting and talking with new and interesting people _every single day_. Or even personnel officers working for large employers. How many people do THEY meet and talk with daily? Or those who have been working in the same grocery store or corner store or restaurant for years.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

zztomato said:


> That old idea "six degrees of separation" is probably no more than 2 or 3 due to FB and other social media sources. A friend and neighbour of mine just posted a picture of himself hanging with Bruce Springsteen. So, I am one degree of separation from The Boss. Not that I want to meet him particularly but still, I could contact him using my friend as a reference and might get a reply.
> 
> How many people do you _really _know though? I have many acquaintances and a small number of close friends.


I have long been intrigued by the degrees of separation thing, not that being close to someone famous ever got me anything. LOL

An old friend of the family works/worked for the Rolling Stones, and another friend is friends with some guy named Bill Wyman. If I understand it correctly, my sister's Godfather is acquainted with the Stones somehow. It's all kind of weird. 

My own closest tie to anyone noteworthy through degrees of separation would be John Renbourn. A buddy and I had dinner and more than enough drinks with Renbourn about 20 years ago. The guy was funny and gracious and holy crap what tales he told! Lots of guitar talk of course.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

i've met some famous people. i'm pretty confident that none of them remember me

kid rock
shirley muldowney
don garlits 
don prudomme
vinnie moore
joe biden
slash
axl
travis tritt
mike mckenna (he sort of counts, right?) 
randy bachman
there are others, but i don't remember right now


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## player99 (Sep 5, 2019)

cheezyridr said:


> i've met some famous people. i'm pretty confident that none of them remember me
> 
> kid rock
> shirley muldowney
> ...


How do you cross paths?


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Mooh said:


> I have long been intrigued by the degrees of separation thing, not that being close to someone famous ever got me anything. LOL
> 
> An old friend of the family works/worked for the Rolling Stones, and another friend is friends with some guy named Bill Wyman. If I understand it correctly, my sister's Godfather is acquainted with the Stones somehow. It's all kind of weird.
> 
> My own closest tie to anyone noteworthy through degrees of separation would be John Renbourn. A buddy and I had dinner and more than enough drinks with Renbourn about 20 years ago. The guy was funny and gracious and holy crap what tales he told! Lots of guitar talk of course.


Neat! Back when musicianship didn't require a Marshall stack, Renbourn was a member of Pentangle, the British band that pre-saged much of the folk/Celtic revival that took place in the UK in the '70s; all that Fairport Convention, et al. stuff. I remember a high school English teacher was trying to impress us with how hip he was by playing a Pentangle album. This was before the word became associated with satanic nonsense and simply referred to the fact that the band had 5 members.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

Who the fucks cares?


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

mhammer said:


> Neat! Back when musicianship didn't require a Marshall stack, Renbourn was a member of Pentangle, the British band that pre-saged much of the folk/Celtic revival that took place in the UK in the '70s; all that Fairport Convention, et al. stuff. I remember a high school English teacher was trying to impress us with how hip he was by playing a Pentangle album. This was before the word became associated with satanic nonsense and simply referred to the fact that the band had 5 members.


I was a huge Steeleye Span fan in high school, as much as Jethro Tull. Always dug that English folk stuff. The Scottish scene interests me as well...my bride tended the booth for Tony McManus at the Elmira Guitar Show one year while he ran off to do stuff with his kid...my mother sang us Scottish folksongs when we were kids so it's in the blood. I suppose McManus and degrees of separation yields some names too.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

player99 said:


> How do you cross paths?


kid rock i met just before he got big. he was an opener at a venue called the trocodero in philly. he bought me and my buddy a beer.

shirley muldowney met her in the pits at thunder alley in bristol. ihra you can walk through the pits and most drivers will be pretty friendly if your not a pita. 

don garlits i met him when he restored the original rear engine dragster. a girl i was dating, her dad restored the frame and a few other bits. i happened to be in the right place at the right time

don prudomme i went to the philly convention center when i was about 14 with a friend's family. he stood by the army car signing autographs. i was nowhere near the front of the line when they closed it. i walked up onto the stage to look at the car when everyone walked away. don came out and gave me a complete tour of the car and let me sit in it. coolest guy ever!!!
vinnie moore he heard me butchering a motley crue song in a music store in delaware back about 84. he said "wanna learn how to play it the right way? after he showed me, i practiced it a few times till i had it down, and walked up to the counter to buy the guitar. the guy behind the counter asked me "isnt it cool to get a lesson from a big celebrity?" i asked him what he was talking about, because i had no idea who that guy was. no internet back then. if you didnt read the teen mags, you didnt know what anyone looked like

joe biden was a friend of my dad and my uncle. i tried to get his help creating a state park here in delaware. i'll hold my opinion of him to avoid trouble.
slash
axl slash and axle were passed out on the floor of a junkie's house when i went to pick up a friend one day. they were nobodies then. the dealer told me "those guys are gonna blow up soon" i paid no attention because everyone's band is "fixin to blow up real soon". couple years later, i'm blastin appetite while cruisin down the road. i see my buddy with his thumb out, so i pick him up. he says "dude! remember them guys passed out of poopy's floor that day? THIS IS THEM!!! axl was briefly married to a girl from the neighborhood that i barely knew.
travis tritt i met him at a rest stop in virginia, by random chance. i was sittin there burnin one when his bus pulled in. as i came out of the bathroom, he was walking by. i said "hey you're travis tritt! he asked me if i liked 10' tall and bullet proof. i told him i'd like it better if my girlfriend didn't play it non stop every single day. he laughd and said sorry bout that.
mike mckenna (he sort of counts, right?) he was my neighbor, and my friend. we hung out alot while i lived in toronto. one of the nicest people i met in all of canada. a seriously under rated player, who can make shit gear sound like golden honey sunshine. i miss him alot 
randy bachman met him at a Q107 christmas party. mike introduced me. he seemed like a nice guy

oh, also, nicko mcbrain i almost met. i took my little brother with me to the same guitar store i met vinnie moore. when i got there, a drum seminar was just ending. my little brother is a HUGE iron maiden fan. he wanted to say hello, nicko mistook him for a beginner drummer. sat him down at his kit for at least a half an hour teaching him stuff. finally his people dragged him away so they could leave. my brother walked out of the store with me about a foot off of the ground he was so enthralled. i said "are you gonna give up the guitar for drums now? he said "nah, but who say no to nicko? hahahaha


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

I saw McKenna-Mendelson Mainline open for someone, possibly Zappa and the Flo & Eddie era Mothers. I thought they were pretty good.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

mhammer said:


> I saw McKenna-Mendelson Mainline open for someone, possibly Zappa and the Flo & Eddie era Mothers. I thought they were pretty good.


he knew EVERYBODY and he had some of the best tales, when he was in a mind to tell them. everyone has seen the pic of gerry garcia with the black les paul in rolling stone ages ago. he got that guitar from mike. mike got it from someone else famous, but i don't remember who it was. he hung out with jimmy page when he was in england. he also showed me an article where duane allman was talking about slide players to watch out for. the first one he mentioned was mike. i think it was one of the proudest moments for him. he used to play slide with banjo picks on all 5 fingers. he could play really fast and precise when he had a mind to. maybe not bernard alison fast, but close enough. he played with the guess who for one summer. i remember when he bought a b bender tele, learned to use it, got bored with it, moved on. his apt was directly across the hall from mine for almost a decade. tons of times i came home from work, and he would be wailing away. i'd sit down in the hallway and just listen before going in. i cant tell you how many times he'd drag me inside and say "listen to this!!!" and then he rip some bad-ass lick from a song he decided to learn on a whim.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

That's a *good* apartment building. 😉 Closest I ever got to something like that was living upstairs from a cabinet minister, when I was in grade 2 or 3. His daughter had one of those fantastic British chain-drive three-wheelers that I lusted after.

Years later, in undergrad, my friend and I rented a flat upstairs from a family whose 12 year-old son would practice guitar outside, underneath my bedroom window. He was obsessed with the Chicago song "25 or 6 to 4", and would *always* bugger up the last note of the signature riff. It was like that Road-Runner/Coyote cartoon where Coyote booby-traps a piano to explode when Road-Runner hits the last note on the sheet music page. Of course, he keeps getting the last note wrong, and when Coyote can't stand it anymore, he runs out, plays the "right" key, and sets off the dynamite.

Upstairs was a pair of girls who seemed to have a lot of different male friends, and whose bedsprings could be used to set your watch. And on the same level as us, next door, was a couple who I think were mildly hearing-impaired, with the result that they seemed to yell with a hair-lip. Through the wall, we'd hear "MaHAliih!" (Mahovlich) when the Habs scored. One of them was also partial to this single, which he played incessantly. Either the record was very badly warped, or he lacked the little spindle that centers 45s, or else there was something amiss with their record player, because the pitch-wobble was severe and severely irritating. I'd have to put a hunk of wood on the wall separating us and bang on it with a hammer to get the point across.

Yup, I'd say you had the better apartment. We moved from there to a better flat where the couple who were our next-door neighbours were rising stars at the National Theatre School. Both eventually moved on to featured and supporting parts in a variety of Canadian TV shows, before age consigned them to coaching and teaching. When our mutual landlord kicked them out to do some renovations, they briefly moved in with us. Since neither's Wiki mentions the other, I gather they are now divorced.


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## 2Pauls (Nov 1, 2021)

The bigger question is how many of those do you regret knowing!


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## FatStrat2 (Apr 7, 2021)

I've always thought that having a small group of good/close friends is invaluable to someone's life. But too many friends in general is overrated. Never believed in the saying "You can never have too many friends.!" - yes, you can, it's a pain if you do.

As for 80K, maybe if you talk to every grocery clerk, burger flipper or dog walker you interact with. Does that mean you now 'know' them?


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

When I started CEGEP at Loyola College in 1969, I saw a guy in the hallway at school who was a year ahead of me in high school. We weren't friends or anything, but recognized that here, 20km away in another place, was someone from our mutual alma mater. We'd grunt at each other (what our contemporaries did at that time instead of lifting one's chin and mumbling "Sup?") when passing in the hallways, but no more interaction than that.

I went on to do my undergrad at McGill, and the other guy did too, a year ahead of me. We'd pass each other on campus, nod our heads at each other and grunt to indicate "I know you from both CEGEP and high school".

Three years went by and, waiting to complete my degree with one last course, I was working during the day at a sheet metal factory, working the bench shears. Each morning, I'd wait at the stop for the 6:30AM bus. And who was at the same stop? The guy from high school, CEGEP, and McGill. Again, we just grunted at each other in acknowledgement and never talked.

I completed the degree and moved to St. John's to start an M.Sc. in animal behaviour. A few days after arriving, I'm walking through the Student Union Building at Memorial University, and who do I pass in the hallway but *the guy*. We both nod and grunt in recognition, as we walk past each other, and as as we had done so many times before in so many other places. About ten steps later, both of us turn around, shocked, incredulous, with a "What the hell are YOU doing here?".

I still don't know the guy's name, but I expect him to turn up again, somewhere and sometime in my life. I mean, by now it's a habit.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

the very first concert i ever went to, i wound up sitting next to this guy who called himself "super dave". we got along great, his crew and mine partied the whole show and after in the parking lot. next time i went to a show, i'm waiting for the show to start and i hear someone calling me. in the giant stadium crowd, somehow super dave found me, and we had a blast just like the last time. i thought it was coincidence that he spotted me. but it wasn't. every show i went to for at least a decade, he was there, and looking for me. i know this because every show i went to, he would always find me. 
every time. i used to make jokes about how long it would take him to find me each time. 

and then one day, i never saw him again.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

He's probably off partying with the guy I went to high school with.


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