# Does Cheeze Whiz scare you?



## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

Does it?


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## silvertonebetty (Jan 4, 2015)

butterknucket said:


> Does it?


Yes . I was walking home one night when all of a sudden the bottom of the jar fell off. I’ve never gotten it again that demon possessed sandwich spread


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

silvertonebetty said:


> Yes . I was walking home one night when all of a sudden the bottom of the jar fell off. I’ve never gotten it again that demon possessed sandwich spread


Tell us more.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

well, yes AND no...
i mean, first off, i want to establish that i'm mostly talking about the kind that comes in a spray can. it's a slap in the face of nature to have cheez that you can spray. the kind that comes in a jar is still loathsome, but it's not inherently evil. 
i't's not even that i'm afraid of the cheez itself, but certainly some of the ways it is used are undeniably depraved and criminal. 

for example: let's say you find yourself in philly. you say to yourself "while in rome... i'd better go get me an authentic cheez steak." so you do a search. and what comes up first? pat's. you don't know any better. you're not a local, it's not your fault. an innocent victim. you go there, and ask for a large philly cheez steak. everyone in the store snickers a little inside. they all know you aren't local because you said "philly". then you get your sandwich. the pavlovian drool that soaks your shirt is testament to the stories you have heard about how good they are. completely un aware that the sandwich you are now about to bite into contains spray cheez. if the world was truly fair, you'd have an actionable case, but it's not. the best you can do is pick up the pieces of your life and try to move on. some recover, but some never do. it's a shameful thing that's not talked about openly in philadelphia. and that's why calling it "the city of brotherly love" is like your tall fat buddy who's nick name is "tiny"


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## Always12AM (Sep 2, 2018)

What scares me is how hard I’m gonna eat this right now


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## Midnight Rider (Apr 2, 2015)

Yes.


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## BlueRocker (Jan 5, 2020)

https://www.dictionary.com/e/word-of-the-day/turophobia-2019-11-06/


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

Midnight Rider said:


> Yes.
> View attachment 388600



decades ago, when my first wife's father was alive, he had a giant calcium deposit on his elbow. he called me into the bathroom to watch him pop it for some reason. it was bigger than a golf ball. when he cut it, it popped open and shot thick white stuff all over the wall and the mirror. it stunk soooo bad, everyone immediately went outside


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## BlueRocker (Jan 5, 2020)

I once worked with someone who was afraid of mustard


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)




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## Paul Running (Apr 12, 2020)




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## laristotle (Aug 29, 2019)




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## Paul Running (Apr 12, 2020)




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## Paul Running (Apr 12, 2020)




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## GuitarT (Nov 23, 2010)

It didn't until I saw post #6.


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## Paul Running (Apr 12, 2020)




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## Paul Running (Apr 12, 2020)




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## Lincoln (Jun 2, 2008)

I use it as a sauce on veggies, but I DON NOT want to know how it's made.


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

The question itself scares me!!


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## silvertonebetty (Jan 4, 2015)

butterknucket said:


> Tell us more.


Now when I see it I get sick lol


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## Sneaky (Feb 14, 2006)

I’m scared of opening that half jar of Cheez Whiz that’s been sitting in the back of my fridge for four years.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

silvertonebetty said:


> Now when I see it I get sick lol


Pics?


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## Midnight Rider (Apr 2, 2015)

Canadian vs American Cheese Whiz: Where's The Cheese? - Natural Health Blog | Holistic Health Blog


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## Always12AM (Sep 2, 2018)

Cheese wiz is the perfect lubricant for incest


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## SWLABR (Nov 7, 2017)

Always12AM said:


> Cheese wiz is the perfect lubricant for incest


Ding, Ding… we have a winner. Close the thread.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

Midnight Rider said:


>


you see the abomination there, all of you do. i didn't lie. that's what evil looks like.

a real cheez steak should have sliced american cheez melted into it. provolne is only acceptable in a few select places, and those places NEVER chop the steak, but instead, fold the sheets into layers. i only know of a couple of places that do it, and those places have done it that way for longer than i've been on the earth. it's a family thing. anyone who goes there, knows what's coming. (one of them is a little place about a mile from here. they are known for hundreds of miles up and down the coast for making great subs. smart people who want one of their subs for lunch gets their order in by 10:30 for an 11:45 pick up. it's tucked way in the back of a neighborhood, you'd have to know it's there to even find it.) subs and steaks are a big deal here. talk about going into a subway and see the looks people give you. it's the same look you give someone who admits they are compelled to smell their fingers every time they scratch their ass. used to be, a couple decades ago, there were sub shops all over the place, run by families that had been doing it since forever. most of those places are gone now. my favorite place is under new ownership. the old folks who owned it since before i was born sold it, and moved out of what has become a sketchy neighborhood. the place makes decent food but not as good as before. i used to go there 3 times/month. now i don't go at all because it's hard to get to, and no longer worth the extra effort. there are still some really good places to go close by. but once you get south of the canal, it all ends. different culture down there. subs and steaks aren't really a thing


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## player99 (Sep 5, 2019)




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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

How do you feel about it, OP?


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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

cheezyridr said:


> you see the abomination there, all of you do. i didn't lie. that's what evil looks like.
> 
> a real cheez steak should have sliced american cheez melted into it. provolne is only acceptable in a few select places, and those places NEVER chop the steak, but instead, fold the sheets into layers. i only know of a couple of places that do it, and those places have done it that way for longer than i've been on the earth. it's a family thing. anyone who goes there, knows what's coming. (one of them is a little place about a mile from here. they are known for hundreds of miles up and down the coast for making great subs. smart people who want one of their subs for lunch gets their order in by 10:30 for an 11:45 pick up. it's tucked way in the back of a neighborhood, you'd have to know it's there to even find it.) subs and steaks are a big deal here. talk about going into a subway and see the looks people give you. it's the same look you give someone who admits they are compelled to smell their fingers every time they scratch their ass. used to be, a couple decades ago, there were sub shops all over the place, run by families that had been doing it since forever. most of those places are gone now. my favorite place is under new ownership. the old folks who owned it since before i was born sold it, and moved out of what has become a sketchy neighborhood. the place makes decent food but not as good as before. i used to go there 3 times/month. now i don't go at all because it's hard to get to, and no longer worth the extra effort. there are still some really good places to go close by. *but once you get south of the canal, it all ends. different culture down there. subs and steaks aren't really a thing*


Ugh...fake cheese on a cheesesteak sandwich should be illegal. what a waste. provolone, mozzarella, even cheddar sure. but fake shit? thats like putting ketchup on filet mignon. vile.
What canal are you referring to?
I thought subs were popular everywhere in the US....just in different regions, they have different names for them....hoagies, hero's, grinders (lol), po-boys etc. But most pizza places sold them. and lots of chain sub shops too. only places i thought i saw fewer sub shops were whaere they had a large hispanic population and they had more burritos or different kinds of sandwichs...like cuban sandwichs in Miami.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

Diablo said:


> Ugh...fake cheese on a cheesesteak sandwich should be illegal. what a waste. provolone, mozzarella, even cheddar sure. but fake shit? thats like putting ketchup on filet mignon. vile.
> What canal are you referring to?
> I thought subs were popular everywhere in the US....just in different regions, they have different names for them....hoagies, hero's, grinders (lol), po-boys etc. But most pizza places sold them. and lots of chain sub shops too. only places i thought i saw fewer sub shops were whaere they had a large hispanic population and they had more burritos or different kinds of sandwichs...like cuban sandwichs in Miami.


that would be the chesapeake and delaware canal, aka, the C&D canal. you can still get a sub down there, but it's not the same. like i said, different culture. the canal is the dividing line between the more metropolitan part of delaware, and lower delaware. known locally as "slower delaware", because it's more rural down there. or, at least it used to be. it's gettin built up really fast. good mom & pop subs and pizzas drop off sharply at the canal, and by the time you reach lower maryland and virginia, they don't exist at all. it's a north east thing. mostly upper delaware, eastern pennsylvania, and southwest jersey. same with a delicacy known as "tastykakes". if you've ever had them, they are AWESOME. i used to have relatives ship them up to me in big boxes when i was in toronto. i could have sold them and made a fortune, i think.

_a piece of trivia about the canal. it has a weird effect on weather. there are many times i've been fishing in maryland and on the drive home, encountered a thunderstorm that stopped dead in the center of the canal bridge. one side a black wall of clouds, wind and rain, the other side, warm, sunny, and beautiful_


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## Paul Running (Apr 12, 2020)

cheezyridr said:


> one side a black wall of clouds, wind and rain, the other side, warm, sunny, and beautiful


As in an approaching storm:


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

Paul Running said:


> As in an approaching storm:
> View attachment 389405


similar, yes. however, it stops approaching at the canal. no kidding, right in the middle of the canal and stops dead. 
i've been seeing it all my life, many times.


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## douglasgifford (Oct 20, 2021)

Today, I made and ate two "super duper" sandwiches which I invented when I was a kid. Cheez Whiz/peanut butter/honey IN THAT ORDER. The PB always goes in the middle.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

Always12AM said:


> Cheese wiz is the perfect lubricant for incest


Are you an expert in this area?


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## Always12AM (Sep 2, 2018)

butterknucket said:


> Are you an expert in this area?


Sorry for not finding this one funny bud…
But both of my siblings died recently in a car accident.

They were trying to have car sex and ran out of cheese wiz and got struck by lightning and rolled their car into a retaining wall.

They survived the crash, but then were hit by an Asian lady in an Escalade who was “I turn now, good luck evra-body ewlse’ing” across 8 lanes and wasn’t sure how much signal to use when cutting off.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

Always12AM said:


> Sorry for not finding this one funny bud…
> But both of my siblings died recently in a car accident.
> 
> They were trying to have car sex and ran out of cheese wiz and got struck by lightning and rolled their car into a retaining wall.
> ...


Then they should have been more responsible and kept more stock on hand. Fuckers deserved it.


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## Midnight Rider (Apr 2, 2015)

butterknucket said:


> Then they should have been more responsible and kept more stock on hand. Fuckers deserved it.


I concur,... a classic case of natural selection.


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## Always12AM (Sep 2, 2018)

butterknucket said:


> Then they should have been more responsible and kept more stock on hand. Fuckers deserved it.


I’m showing up to their funeral in a monster truck with Kid Rock and I’m going to run their caskets over.


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## laristotle (Aug 29, 2019)




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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

Always12AM said:


> I’m showing up to their funeral in a monster truck with Kid Rock and I’m going to run their caskets over.


And you're not even going for the full effect by not showing up with a big fake-titted bimbo with impetigo all over her mouth?

You really need to try harder in life.


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## Always12AM (Sep 2, 2018)

butterknucket said:


> And you're not even going for the full effect by not showing up with a big fake-titted bimbo with impetigo all over her mouth?
> 
> You really need to try harder in life.


Kid Rock is my stunt double when it comes to harlotry.

I won’t put my penis inside of anything but a stuffed animal or my priest.


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