# any plans for the end of the world as we know it?



## bluesmostly (Feb 10, 2006)

Dec 21, 2012, the winter solstice and the end of the infamous Mayan Calendar is soon approaching, any plans to max out your credit cards or be on a beach somewhere at the end of it all?


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

Man, if it doesn't end, I'll be pissed that I have to pay for all this stuff!


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## Guitar101 (Jan 19, 2011)

Right now I'm working on touching my toes. My goal is to eventually be able to bend all the way over and kiss my own ass goodbye if things go bad.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

I plan to be laughing at all the people who went Christmas shopping, when they could have been doing something else.

I'll also be buying milk, because knowing my family, they'll be asking me to go to the store and buy it in the afterlife.


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

might be a good movie on or maybe a Columbo marathon


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## bluzfish (Mar 12, 2011)

Personally, I think all the guys working on the calendar got off work for the weekend one Friday afternoon and then the conquistadors dropped by for a visit and they all got laid off...


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

I plan to be taking a piece of tail. Talk about a climax.

Peace, Mooh.


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## Sneaky (Feb 14, 2006)

I'm gonna have a big fatty, open up a bottle of really nice wine, put on some Coltrane and sit down to a fantastic home cooked meal with my wife. 

Oh wait. I was going to do that anyways.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

i'm going to burn some plastic, smoke near a baby, punch an old lady, club a baby seal, and toss a midget.


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## Guest (Nov 28, 2012)

It's the end of the world as we know?
Well I feel fine!


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

Mooh said:


> I plan to be taking a piece of tail. Talk about a climax.
> 
> Peace, Mooh.


I was in a one act play that my friend wrote "The end of the world as you know it" I wanted sex .. she wanted ice cream. This was four or five years ago. I recently talked to the women that did it with me and she said she gained about 20 lbs during the run of the show.


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## bscott (Mar 3, 2008)

Good music, guitar and alchohol!!!

B


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## Roryfan (Apr 19, 2010)

Mooh said:


> I plan to be taking a piece of tail. Talk about a climax.
> 
> Peace, Mooh.


Great idea! If I start 2 weeks ago I can have one final go around w/ all of my exes.


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## zontar (Oct 25, 2007)

I'm going by the Mayonnaise calendar--we have an extra 1000 years.


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## Guest (Nov 28, 2012)




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## greco (Jul 15, 2007)

I'm going to buy an expensive guitar and amp on Dec 20th and tell my wife that I had to have these before the world ended....and that they were on a final sale...due to the world ending.

Knowing my luck, the frikken world will actually end...just as I'm about to find the tone I've been searching for all these years.

Cheers

Dave


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## Cartcanuck (Oct 30, 2012)

Do we know what time this is supposed to happen? I have a haircut booked at 4:30 that I don't want to miss.


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## greco (Jul 15, 2007)

Cartcanuck said:


> Do we know what time this is supposed to happen? I have a haircut booked at 4:30 that I don't want to miss.


This is the part that deals with booking haircuts...I think you should be good. 
You might want to wait for other GC members to confirm.










Cheers

Dave


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

greco said:


> This is the part that deals with booking haircuts...I think you should be good.
> You might want to wait for other GC members to confirm.
> 
> 
> ...


Looks like animal crackers to me.

Pecae, Mooh.


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## bluzfish (Mar 12, 2011)

Mooh said:


> Looks like animal crackers to me.
> 
> Pecae, Mooh.


Mmmmmmm... Animal Crackers...


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

Buy a pack of Guinness and enjoy it.


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## Cartcanuck (Oct 30, 2012)

greco said:


> This is the part that deals with booking haircuts...I think you should be good.
> You might want to wait for other GC members to confirm.
> 
> 
> ...


Oh good, I'm booked for half past the squiggly line with 3 dots and swoopy thing. *whew* If I'd been booked at the circle thingy with the x and funny lines, I might be in trouble.


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## bluesmostly (Feb 10, 2006)

I am buying a house in Hawaii, with no $ down of course. I am hoping that after the massive pole-shift/crust displacement event that I will end up there. :banana:


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## Roryfan (Apr 19, 2010)

Cartcanuck said:


> Do we know what time this is supposed to happen? I have a haircut booked at 4:30 that I don't want to miss.


If it's 4:30 a.m. you should be OK, as I believe the world will end at 12 minutes past noon, but if it's scheduled for 4:30 p.m. then I predict you'll die a long-haired hippie.

It's probably a good idea to have an early lunch. Unless you're afraid of shitting your pants during the big moment.


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## Roryfan (Apr 19, 2010)

"Hello fans of guitaring. My name is Jim Jones & I'd like to invite everyone over to my place for a refreshing glass of Kool Aid."


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## marcos (Jan 13, 2009)

I lived through the last end of the world in 2000, so, I guess I can do it again.


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## Sneaky (Feb 14, 2006)

Cartcanuck said:


> Oh good, I'm booked for half past the squiggly line with 3 dots and swoopy thing. *whew* If I'd been booked at the circle thingy with the x and funny lines, I might be in trouble.


I'd ask the barber to make me look like the guy on the top right. Those curlers is his hair are going to make him look fabulous!


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## Steadfastly (Nov 14, 2008)

Our planet is somewhere around 3.5-4.0 billion years old. Human greed is and has done much damage to this earth but the earth will always be in existence with human inhabitants.


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

Next weeks forcast...


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

Hmmmm.

what kind of sun screen is recommended for 999 deg C?


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## greco (Jul 15, 2007)

Milkman said:


> Hmmmm.
> 
> what kind of sun screen is recommended for 999 deg C?


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

greco said:


>



Phew

I picked one of those up during the last apocalypse.

I should be good to go.


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## copperhead (May 24, 2006)

I'm holding off on Christmas shopping till the 22th ,just in case .....:sport-smiley-002:


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## bluesmostly (Feb 10, 2006)

copperhead said:


> I'm holding off on Christmas shopping till the 22th ,just in case .....:sport-smiley-002:


LOL! good one copperhead, I am doing the same, but mostly because I usually do anyway...


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## hardasmum (Apr 23, 2008)

A very entertaining thread. Laughing out loud I am.


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## bluesmostly (Feb 10, 2006)

two more sleeps. I think there is something about it all going down at 11:11am or something, but what time zone? Anyway, lets all check back in on the 22nd...


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## 10409 (Dec 11, 2011)

I have court that morning....let it end.

I was late paying a speeding ticket and my license was automatically suspended. I had no idea because i hadn't updated my address yet. I also had no idea that being late paying a ticket gets your license suspended in Ontario - in BC they just refuse you renewal of services until you pay your fines.

Anyways, I got pulled over at a speed trap and that's how i found out. Had my license back 2 days later (after paying a reinstatement fee that was more than the original ticket). They gave me a summons to appear in court, where I simply have to show that i've paid my fines. Tax money hard at work here. no wonder the courts are so backed up.


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

Is the rapture earlier in Newfoundland or 1/2 hr later I forget ?


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## loudtubeamps (Feb 2, 2012)

bluesmostly said:


> Dec 21, 2012, the winter solstice and the end of the infamous Mayan Calendar is soon approaching, any plans to max out your credit cards or be on a beach somewhere at the end of it all?


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

very kawaii. hahahha


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## bluzfish (Mar 12, 2011)

Laundry today, stock up on groceries tomorrow, shower and shave tomorrow night, have a nice steak dinner, put on my sunday best and play my favourite guitar til the apocalypse flies... yup, ready.


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## Woof (Jan 13, 2010)

Still trying to decide if I should bother to buy a Lotto-Max ticket... it would be just my luck that they draw my numbers seconds before...


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## copperhead (May 24, 2006)

shoretyus said:


> Is the rapture earlier in Newfoundland or 1/2 hr later I forget ?


Don't rub it in Pat


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## 4345567 (Jun 26, 2008)

__________


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

One more day. Maybe I should.....oh crap, have to use my inner monologue....sorry, nevermind.


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## Guest (Dec 20, 2012)

Mike Strobel
from today's Toronto Sun

Twas the night before Doomsday, when all through the bunker
A rumour was spreading: “Hey, this might be a clunker!”
The Evian was stacked in the storehouse with care
But doubts were arising, would the world be laid bare?

The conspiracy theorists nestled all soft in the head
While visions of cataclysm gave them sweet dread
And a blonde in her nightie, a sweet little cookie
Had just joined my bed for some last-minute nookie.

When on the roof of the shelter something banged, shook and clattered
I sprang up and shrieked, “We’re about to be splattered!”
Away to the gun slit I flew like a flash
Expecting to view a vast landscape of ash

But the malls were still bustling with Doomsday Eve shoppers
The neon gave lustre to Dundas Square coppers
When, what should emerge from the sea of bright signs
But an ancient pullcart and eight tiny Mayans.

With a leathery driver, a slippery old man
I knew in a moment it must be Kukulkan
The feathered serpent god was a barrel of laughs
He called to his steeds like the world’s epitaph.

“Now, Comet! Now Volcano! Now Asteroid and Blitzkrieg
“On Tsunami! On Earthquake! On Pestilence and Intrigue!
“To the top of the world, we’ll melt all the ice
“And who cares if Al Gore’s been naughty or nice?!

As Dodo birds that on superstorms fly
When they meet rising seas, and mount to the sky
So up to the shelter top the Mayans they flew
With a cart full of maize and Kukulkan, too.

In a twinkling I expected to hear mankind go kaput!
Instead came the pitter-patter of each Mayan foot
As I anxiously threw my arms ‘round the blonde
Down the vent Kukulkan came with an oomph and a bound.

He was dressed all in gold, from his head to his toes,
He knew bullion was better when the world economy blows
A bundle of calendars he had flung on his back,
They all ended this Friday, hence our anxiety attack.

His beady eyes glimmered, his fangs ‘re a bit scary!
He looked like he’d swallowed a Spanish canary!
His great gaping mouth was drawn up in a grin,
And he drooled when he asked, “Hey, how you been?”

The wee Mayans, meanwhile, pranced at their wagon
I laughed as I watched them, each wee Bilbo Baggins
Those twinkling brown eyes, that little round belly
Then I remembered the date, and my knees turned to jelly.

The serpent god was neither so cuddly nor cute
He looked like the kind to give earthlings the boot
But a flick of his tongue and a twist of his tail
Soon let me know we had no reason to quail.

He hissed reassurance and reached into his hoard
Of flyers from the Mexican Tourism Board
“All-inclusive,” he roared, striking a pose
And giving a wink, up the vent-stack he rose.

He sprang to his cart, gave the Mayans a whistle,
And away they all flew like a Yucatan thistle.
But I heard him exclaim as they went into the night,
“Happy Doomsday to all, and to all a good fright!”


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Well, we got out the green bin and paper recyclables this morning. I also have 8 seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm on a USB stick to take to the afterlife.

So we're pretty set.


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## washburned (Oct 13, 2006)

So far so good.


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

Doesn't happen until 11:00 AM EST


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

I'm waiting to snowblow the driveway then.


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## mrmatt1972 (Apr 3, 2008)

Milkman said:


> Doesn't happen until 11:00 AM EST


Dammit, I just spent the last 3 hours shoveling.


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

BREAKING NEWS! There has been a collision of the asteroids NB-4562-C and ND-29719. 
This occurred in the last hour. There is a risk of some very large fragments entering the Earth's atmosphere throughout today. 
It's actually happening! Gather all your loved ones and prepare for the worst.

Official NASA press release here -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyViVmaBQDg


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## bluzfish (Mar 12, 2011)

Aaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

sulphur said:


> Official NASA press release here -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyViVmaBQDg


Now if there ever was a reason for the Rapture that is it ..... sigh... now it's burned into my brain


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

sulphur said:


> BREAKING NEWS! There has been a collision of the asteroids NB-4562-C and ND-29719.
> This occurred in the last hour. There is a risk of some very large fragments entering the Earth's atmosphere throughout today.
> It's actually happening! Gather all your loved ones and prepare for the worst.
> 
> Official NASA press release here -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyViVmaBQDg


That was cruel. Funny, but cruel.

Peace, Mooh.


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## Nemo (Oct 18, 2007)




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## Guest (Dec 22, 2012)




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## bscott (Mar 3, 2008)

I slept through the whole thing and missed it. Can we do it agin????


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2012)

sure, see ya in 5000 years or so.


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## bluesmostly (Feb 10, 2006)

sulphur said:


> BREAKING NEWS! There has been a collision of the asteroids NB-4562-C and ND-29719.
> This occurred in the last hour. There is a risk of some very large fragments entering the Earth's atmosphere throughout today.
> It's actually happening! Gather all your loved ones and prepare for the worst.
> 
> Official NASA press release here -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyViVmaBQDg


now that was good, very good indeed! I could not stop watching that video. seriously, that voice, that hair, those clothes, it was all too amazing.


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