# What was the final straw?



## bcmatt (Aug 25, 2007)

Bands die all the time and I imagine they are often the culmination of many frustrating factors, but it is often interesting to hear about some specific event that made everyone decide, "well, that's it; I'm out!". It's not going to end my band (but it does put us in the red), but today we are facing a $960 coolant leak bill on our van. Frustrating, but we feel it's important to keep going. We just decided to enjoy our richest five minutes as a band of being about $800 in the black before getting the van's estimate.Anyways, was talking to a guy last week whose band was not seeing the kind of success they anticipated while also sufferring from major personality conflicts. But, for them, the straw that broke the camel's back was a break-in resulting in a stolen multi-effects pedal. Sort of weird, but that was their last moment before the drummer dropped his sticks and called it.Any good stories out there of glorious (or not so glorious) band deaths? We can have a moment of silence for our fallen comrades.


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## Sneaky (Feb 14, 2006)

Sorry to hear about the van troubles. The one and only band I was ever in lasted about 2 or 3 rehearsals then blew up after the bass player, who happened to be the lead guitarist's girfriend, slept with the drummer. Who would have ever seen that coming. 

It could be worse...

[video]http://www.killsometime.com/videos/7798/Guitarist-Quits-Band-During-Show[/video]


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## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

Time and expectations seems to be a major driver in terms of breakups


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## Shark (Jun 10, 2010)

Sneaky said:


> It could be worse...
> 
> [video]http://www.killsometime.com/videos/7798/Guitarist-Quits-Band-During-Show[/video]


I think he quit because of the lead singer's pants.


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## flattopterry (Mar 6, 2011)

Final straw- the singer was incapable of confirming two high profile gigs with the promoters. All he had to do was respond to their email. Yes, we will be there.... send. Very difficult. They filled our spot, then he blames them for not reminding him closer to the date? What?? And this from a guy who claims to have way more gigging experience than the rest of us combined. Apparently didn't look after the business end!
That, on top of the control freak issues. ( we are a group of five, majority rules, except when I don't like the song) 
And his pants.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

In one band there was a player who had a significant drug and alcohol abuse problem and was (and is) in perpetual denial. I tried to talk to him about it but his attitude was that I was biased against recreational drug use and needed to get over it. I split when the rest of the band hid their heads in the sand.

In another band I simply couldn't keep up with the partying. Too loud, too fast, too long. They didn't care if I stayed or not since I wasn't "one of them".

In my longest running band, maybe 15 years, the band leader wanted to play the local folk festival one year withour rehearsing, figuring we could just wing it. I thought it was unprofessional and a recipe for a very public trainwreck. He disagreed, so I told him to go ahead without me. The band didn't play the festival and never played as a unit again, though some of us have done some other projects together. The bandleader doesn't speak to me these days.

There was a band I joined right out of high school where the leader was a manipulating bastard. The pay was good, and I got extra consideration for writing charts and arrangements (the others weren't able), but the working conditions were horrific. Travel conditions were unsafe, and when I crashed at the leader's place he always accused me of putting the moves on his much younger wife. He also tried to dictate to me how I was to spend my money, and gear wasn't the issue. One day, when the guys I had been jamming with on the side decided to form a band, I went with them. I called to inform the old band leader I would finish out the booked gigs or until he replaced me, and those last gigs were misery. I was only 20 and I felt I had gigged through hell and back.

(In case you wonder if I just don't get along with people, I've worked with one band (same singer/leader throughout) for almost 20 years now, another duo has lasted over 10 years, and I have several on and off singers/bands I play with that have lasted many years.)

Peace, Mooh.


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## Big_Daddy (Apr 2, 2009)

In no particular order....

1) Lead guitarist/lead singer telling us to start set without him and not showing up until the 4th song.

2) Same guy blowing up at rehearsals because someone wants to play the song more like the record. (He was too lazy to learn the correct chords.)

3) Guitarist's girlfriend (lead singer) sleeping with bassist....... so, the bassist's girlfriend (backup singer) then sleeps with guitar player to even the score.

4) Piano player/frontman not showing up for rehearsal because he crazy-glued his fingers together when he got too stoned. My ex-girlfriend was sleeping with this guy as well.

5) And, the number one reason of all time, that repeated itself over and over again.........ego outgrowing talent/ability!


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## fretboard (May 31, 2006)

I'd started playing with a really solid band with a horn section and a keyboard player who really was quite a talent - but one night as we're heading into the 2nd solo of Steely Dan's Kid Charlemagne, the keyboard player opts to shift on the fly into a solo excursion of some of Elton's finest Disney tunes (Can You Feel The Love Tonight was the first one) and while everyone else sorta backed off trying to figure where he's heading, up goes his volume and everyone else sorta stands around like the backing band on SNL while the host does their "so great to be here" monologue... By the time he melted into some other Disney tune, the drummer and I had started taking down our gear and were planning where we could go to grab a beer.

Usually I'm ok with some spirited self-expression, but seriously dude - another sugar-coated cartoon anthem is gonna get us worked over in the parking lot if we're not careful. Didn't stick around to see how it turned out, but I did hear he spent the better part of a year trying to book shows as a solo artist.


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## blam (Feb 18, 2011)

wow...lots of inter-band sleeping around.

can't say I'm overly surprised, but I thought that was just in movies.


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## Hamstrung (Sep 21, 2007)

After about 7 or 8 minutes of vamping the rhythm for "takin' care of business" while our lead singer/guitar player strutted around in lead break heaven, completely oblivious to the rest of the band while the rest of us were looking at each other wondering how/if/when we could put this song to sleep I realized (as I'd already known) that the chemistry and most importantly communication just wasn't there. In my mind I was done but played one more time knowing it would be my last (I don't think I ever played better!).


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

blam said:


> wow...lots of inter-band sleeping around.
> 
> can't say I'm overly surprised, but I thought that was just in movies.


Nope... the lead singer was living with me.. she moved in with the lead player....and spent all HIS divorce settlement.... but we used to make bets on when he was going to fall off the stage....

Ya shoulda seen that look when I pulled up I a tow truck and got my car back ....


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

*Ego clashes. Inability to compromise. Doesn't help load/unload the truck. Truck breaks down for umpteenth time. And,... "This is no fun anymore."

And why did the drummer sleep with the lead guitarists girlfriend - was he homeless?*


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## bcmatt (Aug 25, 2007)

I guess I should have predicted this thread would be a bit of a downer when I started it. It is helpful to get a realistic picture of what happens/can happen.
Well, no danger of egos for us. We are all too aware of the limitations of our talents. Luckily we feel like we offer something worth doing aside from showcasing our own talents (not that that's what others are doing). Also, no chance of any infidelity since the other two are married and I wouldn't dream of disrespecting that. 
Anyways, after a very discouraging day, we managed to book a gig for tomorrow night at the pub across the street. (We played there last time we were in Kamloops and they loved having us, so I guess we should have tried there first). We just figured that since it was only a month ago, the staff might not want to hear the same 30-40 songs. The owner said that was not a concern at all for her when it came to us. That's relieving! I guess this means that we should be able to make enough money to pay for the gas back to the coast where our motorhome is. By the way, gas is only 99.9 cents/L here right now; pretty amazing!


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## keto (May 23, 2006)

My bro, steamcokev, has some AMAZINGLY funny stories, mostly surrounding a (really great but) prankster drummer, that tended to send people over the edge and led or contributed to 1 or more breakups. Unfortunately Kev isn't much of a 'forum guy', and I couldn't do the stories justice as I wasn't there, but be assured I was peeing myself and rolling around laughing hearing them. They probably (definitely) weren't as funny to the prankees.


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## Chubba (Aug 23, 2009)

bcmatt said:


> I guess I should have predicted this thread would be a bit of a downer when I started it. It is helpful to get a realistic picture of what happens/can happen.
> Well, no danger of egos for us. We are all too aware of the limitations of our talents. Luckily we feel like we offer something worth doing aside from showcasing our own talents (not that that's what others are doing). Also, no chance of any infidelity since the other two are married and I wouldn't dream of disrespecting that.
> Anyways, after a very discouraging day, we managed to book a gig for tomorrow night at the pub across the street. (We played there last time we were in Kamloops and they loved having us, so I guess we should have tried there first). We just figured that since it was only a month ago, the staff might not want to hear the same 30-40 songs. The owner said that was not a concern at all for her when it came to us. That's relieving! I guess this means that we should be able to make enough money to pay for the gas back to the coast where our motorhome is. By the way, gas is only 99.9 cents/L here right now; pretty amazing!


Not a downer at all - interesting to see that many of us have been in the same boat. Glad to see there's some positive in your story though 

I once got kicked out of a band - i was in my second year of university, had been practicing with these guys - great guys and we had a lot of fun, and though there was some potential in what we were starting, none of us was particularly adept at our instruments. Also, this band didn't have a drummer - a friend of theirs who played guitar in this punk band sat in on drums (and would literally show up with a kick and snare, though handled it quite well...lol)

After playing 2 gigs within a month or two of each other, they were talking about a 'summer tour' (this was, say november) - i said something along the lines of 'I'll have to work in the summer, and won't really be able to just go on a tour, unless something amazing happens and this band gains some crazy momentum', the response was 'well i guess this is your last show with us' (we were rehearsing for another gig)...

it was my last show with them...i'm pretty sure it was their last show too...


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

When I think about it, the last straw for me would be "This is no fun anymore." As long as you want to do this in some shape or form. 

The only small example I can give was last Wed at the League of Rock stage rehearsal. I was tired and queasy, and we were the last band on - I was sitting with my eyes closed half the time. I wished this would be over. We went on and played our 3 songe set. Man, it was great! I felt good until I got home at 12:30 am and wasn't able to go to bed until 1:30.


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## david henman (Feb 3, 2006)

...i can't deal with negativity.

the other band killer, for me, is booze.

i love drinking, but only AFTER the show.


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

> the other band killer, for me, is booze.


Ah Booze.. making bad bands great for several centuries


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

The booze makes the band great when the crowd is full of it,
not when the band is floundering around all juiced up. 8P

I was in a band for over ten years in a small mining town.
The mine shutting down and the subsequent exodus ended the band.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

i haven't been in a band since 1984. i quit because i was tired of

1)the lead player and the drummer stole anything that wasn't nailed down, at every gig we ever did. 
i got tired of returning other peoples gear that we "accidentally" loaded with our own stuff.
also, except for the drums, ALL of the equipment was mine. i also had a full time job and arranged all the gigs. no one else did anything besides play.

2)the bass player was my best friend, and already a bad alcoholic before he was 20. by the 2nd set of every show, i usually ended up playing his bass because he was too drunk. he hated me for doing it to him and i hated him for doing it to me. negative bonus points to him for continually pissing his pants. in public places.

3)the lead player, and our roadies were guys i knew from high school. the final straw for me was when my house was robbed, and i lost all my gear except my cab (too heavy and identifiable) and my guitar (also very unique)
i got a call from a pawn shop where i was well known. they had every piece of gear that was stolen, plus some items belonging to other people in the house. turned out to be the guys mentioned above. frickin junkies.

i briefly had my own band right after that, but quit because they all considered themselves unable to contribute artistically. they only wanted to play what i told them to. right after i left, they picked up 2 guitar players that were phenomenal, and did several shows on a local metal channel called "tink's vid dream" i went on to fatherhood, sheetmetal, and obscurity. haven't seen or heard from any of them since.


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

My current band is perpetually on the verge of breakup. Everytime we're about to implode something positive enough happens to let it live another day.


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## Lemmy Hangslong (May 11, 2006)

> And, the number one reason of all time, that repeated itself over and over again.........ego outgrowing talent/ability!


+1 true words above...


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