# Hockey Sucks



## keeperofthegood (Apr 30, 2008)

I AM CANADIAN

And I can NOT STAND the game of HOCKEY

worst sport ever


----------



## Accept2 (Jan 1, 2006)

Thats what happens when you get old, you have to tell the world all the things thats wrong with it. My dad is the same way. In my day, blah, blah, blah..........


----------



## david henman (Feb 3, 2006)

Accept2 said:


> Thats what happens when you get old, you have to tell the world all the things thats wrong with it. My dad is the same way. In my day, blah, blah, blah..........



...off-topic, but true nonetheless. "kids today!"


----------



## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

I respectfully disagree, though the finals are pointless to me this year.

GO LEAFS GO!

Peace, Mooh.

P.S. Are you sure you're Canadian? Maybe your parents lied to you.


----------



## david henman (Feb 3, 2006)

...i dunno. i've got a lot of friends who are lifelong hockey/leaf fans who believe that the game has gotten stupid.


----------



## keeperofthegood (Apr 30, 2008)

A man with a super hi IQ was having a hard time getting a date. He was simply TOO smart. He went to his Dr to ask if there was ANYthing that could be done. The Dr informed him it was his lucky day. He happened to have a new, experimental machine that could lower IQ. The man was happy with this and agreed to have the procedure performed. 

The Dr lowered down a skull cap, attached the wires, turned it on. Display read 200(ding!) and proceeds 195(ding!) 190(ding) at which point in time the phone rings. Dr on the phone "yes, I will pick up the laundry, no I wont forget, I am not forgetful, yes I will do it yes I will get the butter on the way home from work, what oh yes, the laundry I will get that I wont forget you're always accusing me of forgetting..." and on it went. When he hung up the phone he sat back and (ding!) oh dear lord he forgot his patient. Rushing back, there is the man, head in the machine and on the display 15(ding!) rushing fast he pushed the off button as 10(ding!).

Poor man, sitting there, spittle on his chin and mumbling. The Dr feels horrible and says to the man "its ok now no worries, this is reversible, we will just go back to being smart" and then stops and thinks to himself (what ever does a person with an IQ of 10 have to say?) so he leans in close and listens...



GO LEAFS GO
GO LEAFS GO


----------



## al3d (Oct 3, 2007)

keeperofthegood said:


> I AM CANADIAN
> 
> And I can NOT STAND the game of HOCKEY
> 
> worst sport ever



Yeah Brother....let's give a big HOU-AHHhhh for Curling..


----------



## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

So is it hockey in general, or sport as a whole you don't like?

Hockey is one of the few sports that I can stand to watch.

I do like to watch curling too though, womens curling to be specific. 8)


----------



## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

I am also Canadian

I like Hockey, but not hockey fighting
I don't like Tim Hortons coffee or food

Hey....who are those two guys in black suits and why are they talking into their lapels....

smash.....crash.....WTF?


They just took my passport.


----------



## hardasmum (Apr 23, 2008)

keeperofthegood said:


> I AM CANADIAN
> 
> And I can NOT STAND the game of HOCKEY
> 
> worst sport ever


You are delusional, the "worst sport ever" is clearly golf.


----------



## Swervin55 (Oct 30, 2009)

Played hockey most of my life. I still love hockey but I hate the NHL.


----------



## hardasmum (Apr 23, 2008)

Swervin55 said:


> Played hockey most of my life. I still love hockey but I hate the NHL.


I'd agree with you. Dave Bidini's book The Tropic of Hockey is a great read. He travels the world in search of hockey games. The basic premise is that television and sponsorship have ruined the game in North America. 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1585744646


----------



## Roryfan (Apr 19, 2010)

hardasmum said:


> Swervin55 said:
> 
> 
> > Played hockey most of my life. I still love hockey but I hate the NHL.
> ...


Great book. I've played all my life & hope to continue as long as possible, but the current NHL is very far removed from the game in it's purest form. The trap, staged fights & 4th line "energy" or "role players" makes one of the fastest games on the planet boring. The solution is the elimination of 6-10 teams w/ ea one rolling 3 lines. This would only leave room on the roster for highly skilled players & improve hockey. Trouble is the NHLPA would never go for something that resulted in 1/2 of their membership getting a pink slip, even if it would improve the game.


----------



## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

hardasmum said:


> You are delusional, the "worst sport ever" is clearly golf.


I played my first golf game of the season yesterday......................... it made the Leafs look good


----------



## guitarman2 (Aug 25, 2006)

hardasmum said:


> You are delusional, the "worst sport ever" is clearly golf.



Yes. Both hockey and golf suck. And I love them both dearly.


----------



## traynor_garnet (Feb 22, 2006)

I'm tired of the nonstop hockey "experts" talking about the most trivial, banal, topics. I am tired of every single play being analyzed to death and the fabricated "controversies" to fill air time. 

Most of all, however, I am tired of _the culture _of hockey. The culture of hockey (goonery, simplistic masculinity, trumped up patriotism) SUCKS. Too bad, it is a pretty game to watch and play.

TG


----------



## bw66 (Dec 17, 2009)

Roryfan said:


> Great book. I've played all my life & hope to continue as long as possible, but the current NHL is very far removed from the game in it's purest form. The trap, staged fights & 4th line "energy" or "role players" makes one of the fastest games on the planet boring. The solution is the elimination of 6-10 teams w/ ea one rolling 3 lines. This would only leave room on the roster for highly skilled players & improve hockey. Trouble is the NHLPA would never go for something that resulted in 1/2 of their membership getting a pink slip, even if it would improve the game.


Now that we've opened the subject of what would fix North American hockey, here's my list:

1. International-sized ice.
2. Ejection for fighting.
3. No-touch icing.
4. Soft-tipped equipment.
5. Goalie can play the puck anywhere south of centre ice (or maybe anywhere at all).

I have also proposed a one million dollar fine to the team for any player on the roster who has more penalty minutes than ice-time minutes at the end of the season.

For the record, I love hockey, but the closer that you get to pond hockey, the more I love it.


----------



## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

I like hockey; more when it's playoffs than when it isn't. But I *love* CFL football.

Debatable whether it is a "sport" or not, but I am looking forward to the Belmont Stakes on June 9. The Canadian-owned horse that took both the Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes - I'll Have Another - is simply a thrilling beast to watch in action. He's got this Robert DeNiro "You think you're fast? YOU think...you're fast? Suck on this." attitude about him. The Derby is a mile and a quarter, the Preakness is a mile and 3/16. The favourite for each - Bodemeister - was beaten by a little under half a length in Kentucky, and by a head in the Preakness. The Belmont is apparently a mile and a half. With more length to amplify IHA's reserve capacity, you have to wonder if he can take the Belmont by an even greater margin. They call it the fastest 2 minutes in sport for a reason. Do yourself a favour and watch the Belmont. I'm no big racetrack afficionado (never been to one) but that horse and rider is straight outa the movies. Trust me, you'll be talking about it at work.


----------



## Accept2 (Jan 1, 2006)

I used to love CFL football. Never got into NFL though. Golf isnt the worst sport, because everyone knows how to play it. Cricket is the worst sport because WTF is it? One moment it looks like baseball, the next it looks like lawn bowling............


----------



## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Head over to Rideau Hall some weekend, and watch those guys in their sweaters and white pants play. Get them to explain it to you. And if you understand it, maybe you can explain it to ME some day.

There is an absolutely charming Québecois movie from 7 or 8 years ago called "La grand séduction" ("Seducing Dr, Lewis" in English; I think you can see the whole thing on Youtube). It revolves around a small Quebec village in the Gaspé (I think) that has fallen on hard times. If it can recruit a town doctor (it doesn't have one) then a Quebec businessman is willing to relocate his tupperware factory there and provide work.

The title character is a slick young Montreal doctor that they have more or less blackmailed (via a former villagen resident, now a traffic cop in Montreal) into coming to the village for a trial period, during which, unbeknownst to him, they are going to try and do anything they can to "seduce" him into staying there.

One of the things they find out about him before his arrival, through their "intell", is that he loves cricket. So the villagers all set themselves about the task of learning what they can about cricket, and all the wives start whizzing away on their sewing machines making appropriate clothing. The men have mastered the positions and the look, but none of the rules. The day he arrives, the mayor/reeve is bringing the doctor in on a motorboat. From a distance, he sees all these men in sweatervests and white pants, evidently playing cricket. He's s****ing himself. He can't believe that in this godforsaken hole they actually have _civilization _in the form of cricket. Hey, maybe it's not all THAT bad, he thinks. The original plan was that he should see this from a distance as he passes by, but now he is eager to come see the game, and he wants to stop.

The village men are well aware of their limitations as regards cricket, and growing anxious about being found out once the boat hits the shore and the guy sees what they're doing (or rather, NOT doing) up close. One of the bewhiskered guys gets a brainstorm, and calls out to the others to simply follow his lead. As the young doctor strides up the hill to see the game, at the last moment the whiskered guy flings his hands up in the air and starts yelling "Yay!!!!" like his side just won. All the other guys start cheering too, jumping up and down and hugging each other, and they have to tell the doctor that he just missed one heckuva game.

One of the most charming moments in Canadian cinema in recent years.


----------



## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

I love hockey, though it's become pretty weird since the '60s. The armour they wear for protection is lethal, head blows are criminal, players are bigger and so should be the ice, the talent (which is generally greater) is watered down with weaker players (meaning there's a greater desparity between the stars and the utility players) so fewer teams or a second league would be better, goalies need to have some of their corners back, commercial breaks suck the flow out of the game, the third team of zebras is too big when we have video replay technology...yeah yeah, I know, grumble, grumble, grumble...

I played pond and road hockey as a kid like it was a religion, but it got inaccessible as public rinks closed, ponds didn't freeze, and neighbours berated us for blocking the street. One school yard that was a pretty good road hockey substitute banned it due to vandalism. I haven't even owned a hockey stick in 30 years. A dream of mine is to play road hockey again with guys my age, in a gentleman's game. 

Peace, Mooh.


----------



## bw66 (Dec 17, 2009)

Mooh said:


> A dream of mine is to play road hockey again with guys my age, in a gentleman's game.


I'm in!



bw66 said:


> Now that we've opened the subject of what would fix North American hockey, here's my list:
> 
> 1. International-sized ice.
> 2. Ejection for fighting.
> ...


One more thing:

6. Relegation: Divide the league in two and send the bottom two teams from the A-League to the B-League and the top two teams from the B-League up. (Sorry Leaf fans - though that's exactly why it would never happen.)


----------



## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

bw66 said:


> I'm in!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Hey, I'm a cradle Leaf fan and I agree.

I can see it now...The Canadian Guitar Forum Road Hockey Club challenges for Lord Stanley's Cup!

Peace, Mooh.


----------



## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

hardasmum said:


> You are delusional, the "worst sport ever" is clearly golf.


I would have said American football.


----------



## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

Mooh said:


> I love hockey, though it's become pretty weird since the '60s. The armour they wear for protection is lethal, head blows are criminal, players are bigger and so should be the ice, the talent (which is generally greater) is watered down with weaker players (meaning there's a greater desparity between the stars and the utility players) so fewer teams or a second league would be better, goalies need to have some of their corners back, commercial breaks suck the flow out of the game, the third team of zebras is too big when we have video replay technology...yeah yeah, I know, grumble, grumble, grumble...
> 
> I played pond and road hockey as a kid like it was a religion, but it got inaccessible as public rinks closed, ponds didn't freeze, and neighbours berated us for blocking the street. One school yard that was a pretty good road hockey substitute banned it due to vandalism. I haven't even owned a hockey stick in 30 years. A dream of mine is to play road hockey again with guys my age, in a gentleman's game.
> 
> Peace, Mooh.



car!!!!

i always wanted to be Cornoyer or LaFleur.

We used cardboard and catalogues for goalie pads.

So many years ago.


----------



## keto (May 23, 2006)

bw66 said:


> Now that we've opened the subject of what would fix North American hockey, here's my list:
> 
> 1. International-sized ice. *I'm a huuuuuge advocate of this, unfortunately it would mean taking out a few hundred PREMIUM seats from each current arena. Not gonna happen*
> 2. Ejection for fighting. *Not for me. Remove the instigator rule, guys will then be more accountable for their stickwork as they won't want to go mano @ mano vs. a tough guy (not necessarily a role playing enforcer, of which I am not a fan)*
> ...


As to divisions and 'A'/'B' leagues, nope...you'll drive out owners, as attendance would plummet to minor league levels in the 'B' division, except perhaps in Toronto.

Like with the CFL experiment in the 90's, the NHL has overexpanded. Probably 24 teams is viable - but there's no way I think they will contract. There are a few owners who are willing to withstand small losses year after year, just for the 'cachet' of owning a major league team - I believe the Florida Panthers' owner falls in this category. As long as you have a small handfull of them in the right locations, maybe 26-28 teams, but 30-32 just ain't working (see - Coyotes, Phoenix). Really, as I say, probably 24 and you're just about ideal.


----------



## dcole (Oct 8, 2008)

All sports suck to watch. So boring. Most sports are fun to play, except golf and baseball. Those need so much effort to get to the fun part, hitting the ball. Golf with my dad is the worst. He has to spend half an hour at every hole looking for lost balls. Not his, other peoples.


----------



## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Milkman said:


> car!!!!
> 
> i always wanted to be Cornoyer or LaFleur.
> 
> ...


Car!

I always wanted to be Keon, Howe, or if I was in net, Plante or Sawchuk. (Weird, my daughter dated Sawchuk's grandson briefly.)

Yes, I remember stuffing newspapers in my pants for padding. Man, if someone in the neighbourhood had nets we were stars!

Peace, Mooh.


----------



## buzzy (May 28, 2011)

The production values of the NHL broadcasts are awful these days and many of the games are boring. If you happen to catch a good game, it can be very enjoyable to watch but you might have to mute the sound to avoid the commentators. The shoddy camera work can get on the nerves as well.

My favourite televised sport is CFL football. I live for the CFL!


----------



## bw66 (Dec 17, 2009)

Milkman said:


> I would have said American football.


Easily! Four hours to watch seven and a half minutes of action... no thanks!



Milkman said:


> car!!!!
> 
> i always wanted to be Cornoyer or LaFleur.





Mooh said:


> Car!
> 
> I always wanted to be Keon, Howe, or if I was in net, Plante or Sawchuk.


Number four! Bobby Orr!!!!



keto said:


> As to divisions and 'A'/'B' leagues, nope...you'll drive out owners, as attendance would plummet to minor league levels in the 'B' division, except perhaps in Toronto.
> 
> Like with the CFL experiment in the 90's, the NHL has overexpanded. Probably 24 teams is viable - but there's no way I think they will contract. There are a few owners who are willing to withstand small losses year after year, just for the 'cachet' of owning a major league team - I believe the Florida Panthers' owner falls in this category. As long as you have a small handfull of them in the right locations, maybe 26-28 teams, but 30-32 just ain't working (see - Coyotes, Phoenix). Really, as I say, probably 24 and you're just about ideal.


I wasn't talking about what the league would _go for_, I was talking about what would fix North American hockey.


----------



## hummingway (Aug 4, 2011)

The Big M. 

Ah those were the days.


----------



## Swervin55 (Oct 30, 2009)

So here's my bitch...generally speaking regarding most "entertainment" as we know it today. This may be a little off topic and maybe not. What I can't get past is what the general public are willing to pay for "entertainment" whether film, music, sports (you name it) when a lot of folks that actually contribute to the health and wellness of the human race make a fraction of what pop culture is willing to tolerate seeing their "idols" walk away with. I know - extremist! I just think the whole entertainment industry is on its head. My $.02. Flame away.


----------



## keeperofthegood (Apr 30, 2008)

Re: the cost of entertainment. You know, been that way for a long time. The money that flies around in the entertainment business could buy and sell even medium sized countries.


----------



## hummingway (Aug 4, 2011)

I find in particular with sports the value assigned is a curious one. It may be in part that I grew in a time when sports was a working mans entertainment and the players them selves were working men. Most hockey players had jobs in the off season because they weren't paid enough not to. My childhood hero was Frank Mahovilich; his years with Toronto were some of that teams best and he was one of the best in the game. I think his best year was $12k which would have been a good wage in those days but that was all, like making 100k now.

There's talk of a players strike in September. I know it's about fair distribution and, while lowering ticket prices instead would be amazing, we live in a society where that isn't what would happen. There are people who will pay $300 to sit in a lower seat centre ice and that is what determines the price. This is the world that has grown up around me. Community, the environment and family have all been sacrificed to the "capitalist ideal" and I suspect its chief proponent has been the ones that most benefit. They are members of the same club that knows it is better to only have teams in cities where stadiums can be full of luxury boxes and Gold Club seating to help maintain sports franchises whose value is $100M and growing. The Leafs, a team that hasn't had such decent seasons in recent memory is valued at something like a trillion dollars!

_Keone has the puck. He passes off the Mahovolich who circles near the hash marks, he drops it to the Chief, George Armstrong, who drills a slap shot at the net. What a save! Plante kicked out a pad at the last moment and robbed the Toronto Maple Leafs. Now Beliveau has moved the puck up to Cournoyer who's streaking down the wing. Horton lays him out at the blue line. What a hit folks and that has done it. They're coming off the bench and the gloves are off!_


----------



## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

hummingway said:


> I find in particular with sports the value assigned is a curious one. It may be in part that I grew in a time when sports was a working mans entertainment and the players them selves were working men. Most hockey players had jobs in the off season because they weren't paid enough not to. My childhood hero was Frank Mahovilich; his years with Toronto were some of that teams best and he was one of the best in the game. I think his best year was $12k which would have been a good wage in those days but that was all, like making 100k now.
> 
> There's talk of a players strike in September. I know it's about fair distribution and, while lowering ticket prices instead would be amazing, we live in a society where that isn't what would happen. There are people who will pay $300 to sit in a lower seat centre ice and that is what determines the price. This is the world that has grown up around me. Community, the environment and family have all been sacrificed to the "capitalist ideal" and I suspect its chief proponent has been the ones that most benefit. They are members of the same club that knows it is better to only have teams in cities where stadiums can be full of luxury boxes and Gold Club seating to help maintain sports franchises whose value is $100M and growing. The Leafs, a team that hasn't had such decent seasons in recent memory is valued at something like a trillion dollars!
> 
> _Keone has the puck. He passes off the Mahovolich who circles near the hash marks, he drops it to the Chief, George Armstrong, who drills a slap shot at the net. What a save! Plante kicked out a pad at the last moment and robbed the Toronto Maple Leafs. Now Beliveau has moved the puck up to Cournoyer who's streaking down the wing. Horton lays him out at the blue line. What a hit folks and that has done it. They're coming off the bench and the gloves are off!_


"Keon, to Mahovlich, to Armstrong, from the point!". (alter sequence but keep the same names) Those phrases were a fundamental part of my childhood too.

A guy I briefly went to high school with ended up being the official photographer for the House of Commons for a number of years until his retirement a few years back. I can't find them now, but he sent me a large assortment of pics taken of him with various dignitaries, presidents, prime ministers, royalty, etc., that had visited Ottawa and parliament throughout the previous 25 years. The ones I was most jealous of were him standing next to Gordie Howe, and him standing next to Frank Mahovlich (now playing for "the Senate").


----------



## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

I had posters of Keon and Howe, maybe from a Shreddies or Cherrios boxtop order. They were my pride and joy for years. Don't know when or where they disappeared, likely about the time I discovered Led Zeppelin.

Peace, Mooh.


----------



## mechanic (Apr 1, 2010)

I think 2 things should change in the NHL.
1. It would be nice if there weren't 2 season's with different rules.
The playoffs start and all of a sudden the rules change all the time.It's been like this for quite a while now and frankly it sucks.
2. I think the Goalie should be allowed to handle the puck anywhere he wants, as long as the other players can hit him when he does.


----------



## marcos (Jan 13, 2009)

Bring back the original 6 teams when players played to win.


----------



## Rugburn (Jan 14, 2009)

Hockey sucks? What a terrible thing to say.


----------



## hummingway (Aug 4, 2011)

Who remembers hockey coins? I think they came in chip bags?


----------



## keeperofthegood (Apr 30, 2008)

Rugburn said:


> Hockey sucks? What a terrible thing to say.


HAHA see the tags  for this thread at the bottom of the thread there!!

I honestly liked hockey when I was little (under 14) and my buds and I would play road hockey (CAR!!!.... GAME ON ((game on!)) )

However, I never got into the organized sport of hockey. Nor any of the other major sports for that matter. I had a very hard time with anything moving fast, my eyes could not follow it and there was fallout from that (still have issues with fast moving anything). This was true even of kids shows when I was still crawling, they were fun until someone began to sing and dance and then I had to turn them off or leave.

However, this thread was inspired by David Henman  It is June, time for

*GAME ON!*​


----------



## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

Growing up my father and I had season tickets to the St Catharines Blackhawks for years. Then the Fincups until eventually no teams. But the names that came up through that system are legendary. We seen them all from the early 70"s onward. 

Interestingly today I rarely watch hockey. When I used to get free tickets all the time through work I would take the old man to see the leafs now and again and my mother to see Lanny McDonald whenever he was in town with the Flames.


----------



## Guest (Jun 2, 2012)

I was (not quite)six when my dad took me to the gardens to see the leafs win the cup (67).
I played as a kid in school house league. Even did a couple of seasons in MTHL with George Armstrong
as our coach. Don't really watch sports anymore. It's a business, no longer a sport.


----------



## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

laristotle said:


> I was (not quite)six when my dad took me to the gardens to see the leafs win the cup (67).
> I played as a kid in school house league. Even did a couple of seasons in MTHL with George Armstrong
> as our coach. Don't really watch sports anymore. It's a business, no longer a sport.


Our cat is named for George Armstrong (and others). It was either him or King Clancy.

Peace, Mooh.


----------



## snacker (Jun 26, 2008)

i don't know if i like hockey since i've never watched an entire game


----------



## hummingway (Aug 4, 2011)

When I was a youngster I would put my helmet and gloves on, get my stick and sit as close to the TV as my parents would let me, every winter's Saturday night. In some ways I haven't changed but the season is too long and there are too many teams. Instead of the pain of anticipating the beginning of a new season I'm more likely to think, "What, already?".

It was the arena, the pond and the backyard rink all winter long and then the driveway when the ice was gone. We knew every players name and of course each of us was Foster Hewitt calling the game as we wore our sticks out on the pavement. Now it's hard to keep track who's on your own team let alone a rivals team. 

I think the game is being played at an amazing level but they have taken some of the magic from it for me. I don't think it's just getting older that makes me say that. I've always been willing to suspend my belief that it's silly to get drawn into the drama on the ice and get excited for the young men playing the game but it's a little hard not ot look and see the machine behind the curtain.


----------



## GuitarsCanada (Dec 30, 2005)

Did a little research on that Fincups team that we had in St Catharines for the one year 76-77 season. They had played 3 previous years in Hamilton and one after in 1978 before finally moving to Brantford under a new name.

But the names on that team came back quick. Moving on to the NHL from that team were...

Ric Seiling
Willie Huber
Randy Ladouceur
Al Secord
Rick Wamsley
Dale McCourt
Al Jensen
Gaston Gingras

Several more were drafted as well with lesser careers. But the team was stacked with great players.


Some great hockey


----------



## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

I used to go watch the Wolves play as a kid.

I think that all on the same team were:

Ron Duguay, Randy Carlyle and Don Beaupre in net.


----------



## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

keeperofthegood said:


> I AM CANADIAN
> 
> And I can NOT STAND the game of HOCKEY
> 
> worst sport ever


Nah...many sports are worse...golf, basketball, professional soccer....zzzz.....sorry, just saying the word soccer puts me to sleep....baseball, NASCAR.
now that I think about it, hockey rules!


----------

