# Looking for some constructive criticism!



## Tanhead (Jan 16, 2010)

Hey guys, I just began writing my own original songs as I just picked up some recording equipment, so If you guys would check out my youtube channel and comment there or here, that'd be great. 

http://www.youtube.com/user/TantheMan223

I've got 2 original songs as of now, and a couple of covers. Oh, and that "My Planner Is Gone" Video, just something a friend and I did. Not really what i'm aiming for. : P


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

Not a fan of the voodcoder. I don't mind Lilypad getaway but you need to get the vocals ..on pitch ...but I like the song

Same in your first song.....ya I have a hard time too.... but you have to step up to the plate.


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## Tanhead (Jan 16, 2010)

Yeah, i don't have any vocal training whatsoever, that's something i'm really trying to work on. Thanks for the criticism!


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

It's all about using your diaprahm, moving air from there. Opening your mouth up. Visualise the air moving up your throat and hitting the top/ back of the roof of your mouth. I was also told to take you arm and do cirlces with it while your singing. Sounds weird but it works. Also if your consitantly flat in a section I will think sharp.


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## theroan (Oct 7, 2008)

The arrangements and the lyrics are good. But the vocals need some work. 

Also, the vocal melody seems to stall at some points. You need to look into "phrasing", so don't just think about the notes that are being sung, but also think about where they are being sung, almost like the words are a percussive instrument, does the placement make rhythmic sense. That's where real song writing skills come into play. You've written your lyric, but there are too many words or sylables for the melody line. How do you adjust it so it makes musical sense but also conveys your message? 

My advice is to write or record your vocal line with a guitar or piano, that way it's already set out for you. If the words don't fit, work on them until they do. That way it will flow and be more cohesive, opposed to it seeming like the words were kind of crammed in.

But all in all not a bad start for new songwriter.


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## Tanhead (Jan 16, 2010)

shoretyus said:


> It's all about using your diaprahm, moving air from there. Opening your mouth up. Visualise the air moving up your throat and hitting the top/ back of the roof of your mouth. I was also told to take you arm and do cirlces with it while your singing. Sounds weird but it works. Also if your consitantly flat in a section I will think sharp.


I'm looking into taking professional vocal lessons, so hopefully after or while I do that, i can use what you've suggested to the fullest. Thanks so much for the tip.


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

My local barbershop guy was more than willing to give free ones .


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

Vocal exercise 
sing 12345..54321 154535251 hitting pitch ... ie each number is a whole tone


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## WEEZY (May 23, 2008)

totally not what I expected to hear! But I thought some lines were pretty funny, I really like the idea. Keep doing it!!


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## Tanhead (Jan 16, 2010)

I just put up a new song which I think is better than the others, let me know what you think : 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ay3CXm61LI


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