# Why Aliens Don’t Visit Us



## 1SweetRide (Oct 25, 2016)




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## Lul4Arm (Jun 10, 2021)

oh we're here. In fact we were here first.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

I believe it's because McDonald's doesn't offer the McRib year 'round.


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## laristotle (Aug 29, 2019)

Nope. It's the Szechuan Sauce.


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

I blame Autotune.


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## Verne (Dec 29, 2018)

Ever since Milli Vanilli was exposed.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

It's the floating sinks, I think. Creepy. I mean, where does the water *come* from, and where does it *go*?


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## Paul Running (Apr 12, 2020)

We don't follow any of their hints or advice.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

I never understood a beard that took more time to groom than to be clean shaven. Maybe aliens are repulsed by our vanity.


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## kelowna (Dec 22, 2010)

I just shave outside. No mess inside. 

On the alien issue in general, don't even get me started.


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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

butterknucket said:


> I believe it's because McDonald's doesn't offer the McRib year 'round.


aliens....americans...same thing


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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

mhammer said:


> It's the floating sinks, I think. Creepy. I mean, where does the water *come* from, and where does it *go*?


alien technology. 
Eureka! You're on to something, that pic is a riddle. the shaving guy IS an alien. we always knew they were amongst us.

well played, 1sweetride!


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

Mooh said:


> I never understood a beard that took more time to groom than to be clean shaven. Maybe aliens are repulsed by our vanity.


Hey!!!


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Paul Running said:


> We don't follow any of their hints or advice.
> View attachment 373526


I learned that Von Daniken may have been on to something (though he underestimated it and relied on the wrong evidence) when I went to Heritage Days in Edmonton's Hawrelak Park nearly 40 years ago. For the unfamiliar, the festival invited every ethnic group in the city to have a booth/tent where they presented their ethnic delicacies. EVERY grandmother within 40 miles immediately sprang into action, whipping up the food.

What I learned there was that almost EVERY nation/culture in the world has meat in dough, and meat on a stick. Empanadas, samosas, kreplach, dumplings, tortellini, pasties....I could go on. How did THAT happen, eh? How could so many different parts of the world come up with the same foods? Pyramids and landing strips? Pshaw!! Those *pale* in comparison to the near simultaneous uniformity of food around the globe.


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## SWLABR (Nov 7, 2017)

I sport a beard strictly for the time saved in the morning. I give it a once over with the clippers (usually) on a weekend. When it becomes more work than being cleanly shaved, it's off! 

There are probably many, many reasons aliens have not introduced themselves to us... the douche knot is one that comes to mind. I won't talk to them, why would a higher life form travel light years to do so??


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## Frenchy99 (Oct 15, 2016)

Nahhh…

aliens just know that Saturn made instruments are better then earth American ones are…


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## Verne (Dec 29, 2018)

Frenchy99 said:


> Nahhh…
> 
> aliens just know that Saturn made instruments are better then earth American ones are…


I've heard the counterfeits from Uranus are flooding the galaxy though.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

I thought they were busy circling Uranus looking for Klingons.


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## Paul Running (Apr 12, 2020)

They have integrated with the instrument:


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## Jim Jones (Sep 18, 2006)

I wish one of my college roommates had that thing. He was as hairy as a Sasquatch and never rinsed the sink.


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## BGood (Feb 20, 2015)

Verne said:


> I've heard the counterfeits from Uranus are flooding the galaxy though.


You're 100% right !


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## YaReMi (Mar 9, 2006)

Aliens are patient. They know we are working on making this planet vacant, they’ll wait ...


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## Rollin Hand (Jul 12, 2012)

I think the aliens don't come because they don't want a pickle surprise.


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## Verne (Dec 29, 2018)

BGood said:


> You're 100% right !
> View attachment 373549


That is CLASSIC!!! Thanks for the out loud laugh.


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## BGood (Feb 20, 2015)

Verne said:


> That is CLASSIC!!! Thanks for the out loud laugh.


Here's the recto of that headstock. Someone had a custom Chibson made.


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## Rollin Hand (Jul 12, 2012)

BGood said:


> Here's the recto of that headstock. Someone had a custom Chibson made.
> 
> View attachment 373559


The recto of Uranus?


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## SWLABR (Nov 7, 2017)

butterknucket said:


> I thought they were busy circling Uranus looking for Klingons.


Beat me to it, well done.


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## zontar (Oct 25, 2007)

1SweetRide said:


> View attachment 373511


That actually would be useful...


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## 1SweetRide (Oct 25, 2016)

zontar said:


> That actually would be useful...


You could become the fire brigade's Jumper Man. Stick yourself to random windows during a fire and the poor folks that have to jump out of 2nd story windows will have a safe place to land.


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## leftysg (Mar 29, 2008)

BGood said:


> Here's the recto of that headstock. Someone had a custom Chibson made.
> 
> View attachment 373559


The first name needs to add another "s".


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## BGood (Feb 20, 2015)

leftysg said:


> The first name needs to add another "s".


Not if mocking Mr Paul


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## ping-ping (Jul 30, 2021)

Given the savage nature of our species: war, murder for profit Mexican Cartels one of a list that is global not to pick on Mexico, global destruction by our species, I think they wanna keep an eye on things but not really have anything to do with the killer apes. maybe?
And then there is the possibility that their is a galactic warning about the dangers of visiting the planet as a vacation option. maybe not?


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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

what if to aliens, coming to earth is a form of extra-terrestrial sex tourism?

Ive had my suspicion about a few that have been potentially sired by them.


































"Beeep, boop, gleeeep!" Translated: "How you doin'?"


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## laristotle (Aug 29, 2019)




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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

laristotle said:


> View attachment 375100
> 
> View attachment 375102


The first one is plausible but the second one is ridiculous.
aliens travelling millions of miles to to fornicate, and they choose Hillary?
glad they caught him though










reminds me of that stupid movie, where Mel Gibson was a rich good looking guy who had the power to read minds and therefore get any woman he wanted, and he honed in on….Helen Hunt.


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## Ricktoberfest (Jun 22, 2014)

mhammer said:


> I learned that Von Daniken may have been on to something (though he underestimated it and relied on the wrong evidence) when I went to Heritage Days in Edmonton's Hawrelak Park nearly 40 years ago. For the unfamiliar, the festival invited every ethnic group in the city to have a booth/tent where they presented their ethnic delicacies. EVERY grandmother within 40 miles immediately sprang into action, whipping up the food.
> 
> What I learned there was that almost EVERY nation/culture in the world has meat in dough, and meat on a stick. Empanadas, samosas, kreplach, dumplings, tortellini, pasties....I could go on. How did THAT happen, eh? How could so many different parts of the world come up with the same foods? Pyramids and landing strips? Pshaw!! Those *pale* in comparison to the near simultaneous uniformity of food around the globe.


Wait a minute… pasties are edible?? Next trip to Vegas is gonna be so different now!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

Diablo said:


> The first one is plausible but the second one is ridiculous.
> aliens travelling millions of miles to to fornicate, and they choose Hillary?
> glad they caught him though
> View attachment 375120
> ...



can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would find her attractive. in case any of you don't know who she is:











also, could be just my opinion, but to me, the implausible part of that story is the idea that bill would fight ANYONE to keep hillary, let alone an alien


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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

cheezyridr said:


> can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would find her attractive. in case any of you don't know who she is:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


She looks better than usual there.
I remember her more like


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## silvertonebetty (Jan 4, 2015)

Firefighters remove 2 protesters who super glued themselves to Hwy 1 in Vancouver


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## Jim DaddyO (Mar 20, 2009)

Aliens lock the doors when they're in the neighbourhood (galaxy).

or

You know how you just walk past bugs and such because they are just so stupid you know you can't learn a thing from them so there is no interest? Same span of intelligence from humans to aliens. We are like bugs to them.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

Paul Running said:


> We don't follow any of their hints or advice.
> View attachment 373526


i blame the smithsonian


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## player99 (Sep 5, 2019)

They left. Too much truck honking.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

I think they're waiting for a half off or BOGO coupon.


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## AJ6stringsting (Mar 12, 2006)

Diablo said:


> aliens....americans...same thing


You guys should build a Wall on your Southern border !!!!


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## laristotle (Aug 29, 2019)

AJ6stringsting said:


> You guys should build a Wall on your Southern border !!!!


We'd love to, but then you'd complain about not letting the illegals coming up through Mexico into our country.


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## AJ6stringsting (Mar 12, 2006)

laristotle said:


> We'd love to, but then you'd complain about not letting the illegals coming up through Mexico into our country.


Are you American too ?


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## laristotle (Aug 29, 2019)

AJ6stringsting said:


> Are you American too ?


No, earthling.
I just happen to reside in canuckistan at the moment.


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