# Firing a member



## Powdered Toast Man (Apr 6, 2006)

Ok, I need some help with a thorny topic: How do you "break up" with a band member?

I'm not going to get into the particulars, but suffice to say one member of the band has become something of a boat anchor, and everyone is out of patience. The rest of the band agrees this individual has to go. 

What are some of the best ways to go about doing the deed in the least unpleasant way? I already know an email is a terrible thing to do. So, would a phone call do? Is face-to-face better? Also, no matter how we think of to flower it up, when you get down to the part where you have to say "you're out of the band" there just doesn't seem to be an easy way to put it. Any suggestions?


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## puckhead (Sep 8, 2008)

imho, HAS to be face to face.
other than that: like a band-aid - right off.

"it's not working out, the band agrees, best to go separate ways. best of luck."

try not to get into detail, as that will leave room for arguing petty stuff.


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## Alex Csank (Jul 22, 2010)

I have had to 'fire' several people over the course of my many years in management. It is always best to do it face to face, make it REALLY clear and keep it short. It is also best to have the whole band there when you do it, so there is NO question that it is 'just you' making the decision.


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## Powdered Toast Man (Apr 6, 2006)

Well, it's done (I know, that was fast). I actually did it over the phone for a few reasons. 1) The member does not have transportation so meeting up would be more difficult. I wouldn't want them to take the bus somewhere to meet just to get fired. 2) We never have band meetings or meet up outside of practice - any invite to "meet" would immediately seem very odd. 3) I wanted it to be over as quick as possible and not string the person along. 

I was clear, respectful, and honest. I didn't get into a laundry list of the problems, but I was prepared to elaborate if they asked. I simply stated that the band discussed where they want to go and what they want to be and that based on that, it just wasn't working out. They took it well and it was over very quick. Puckhead - I like the way you described it - "like a band-aid". I didn't babble on and on, just got to the point and that was that. I kind of wonder if they were relieved because I think they started this thing and ended up attracting musicians that were quite a bit over their skill level and they were in over their head.


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## nonreverb (Sep 19, 2006)

1. Always face to face
2. Short but respectful
4. Don't get too personal. It's just business after all.
3. Make eye contact. It is the most sincere way of doing it...body language counts. Believe it or not I ended both with a handshake. 

The two times I was "elected" to do it, it was one on one. 
For what it's worth, I'm still friends with the two I had to fire.


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## snacker (Jun 26, 2008)

Last bandmate I fired punched me in the face.....that was a long time ago


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## Robert1950 (Jan 21, 2006)

A dozen roses, a bottle of scotch to soften the blow.


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## ezcomes (Jul 28, 2008)

Powdered Toast Man said:


> I kind of wonder if they were relieved because I think they started this thing and ended up attracting musicians that were quite a bit over their skill level and they were in over their head.


i can understand if it had to be done...but i can't help but think it hurts a little more to know that the band he started kicked him out...

i answered an ad once...guy wanted to start a band...so he got me, a drummer and a singer (he played bass) we practiced for a little while and then he emailed me and told me that practice was cancelled that night...and then later in the week emailed to say that things were really busy and he had talked to the other guys and they all wanted to just call it quits b/c of everyones schedule...i said fair enough and didn't think any more of it...about 2 wks later i ran into the singer, and he's like...how come you quit? you looked like you were having fun!...i said (insert The Champ) Pardon? he went on to tell me that the bassist told everyone i had quit so he brought two of his guitarist buddies in...and after those two wks...they had Actually quit leaving just the bassist, singer and drummer...i told him best of luck and maybe i'd see him around...and as an epilogue...the bassist emailed me about 2 wks after that saying that he was in another band playing ac/dc, thought it would be my style and wanted me to come out...HAHAHA...nope...didn't even respond...


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## Powdered Toast Man (Apr 6, 2006)

ezcomes said:


> i can understand if it had to be done...but i can't help but think it hurts a little more to know that the band he started kicked him out...


Trust me, that definitely was on our minds in the discussions amongst the band. At least thought it's a cover band so there's no intellectual property issues (songwriting) to deal with. What it came down to was he just wasn't putting in the effort. It sucked to fire the guy who started it, but the rest of the players were not content to keep doing what we were doing. The guy was given every opportunity to pick it up and he just didn't.


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## Jim DaddyO (Mar 20, 2009)

I would agree face to face would be the best way....but before the member unloads a few hundred pounds of equipment.


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## ezcomes (Jul 28, 2008)

Powdered Toast Man said:


> Trust me, that definitely was on our minds in the discussions amongst the band. At least thought it's a cover band so there's no intellectual property issues (songwriting) to deal with. What it came down to was he just wasn't putting in the effort. It sucked to fire the guy who started it, but the rest of the players were not content to keep doing what we were doing. The guy was given every opportunity to pick it up and he just didn't.


and thats fair...i can fully understand that...its probably for the best anyways


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## faracaster (Mar 9, 2006)

Just get our keyboard player to do it......he was head of H&R at IBM.....fired people on a daily basis.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

faracaster said:


> Just get our keyboard player to do it......he was head of H&R at IBM.....fired people on a daily basis.


Yup, agreed, it *IS* a good idea to exploit the skills of band members, even when it's not music. It's amazing what people management skills can do to ease folks through these things. One of my groups has a car salesman, a paramedic, a photoprapher, and a music teacher (with much previous labour relations experience), so the level of maturity in handling business affairs is great. You won't find it in younger bands as much, but it can develop over time with a bit of common sense.

Peace, Mooh.


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