# Playing music for the wrong reasons



## marcos (Jan 13, 2009)

I have been thinking about this for awhile. When i was 11 years old, my dad bought me my first guitar. The reason was i wanted to be famous like the Beatles, Stones, Elvis etc.. at that time. I figured it was a great way to meet girls, and it was. Met my wife at age 15 so, the proof is there.LOL. Later on in life after the kids where born, played to get out of the house and be one of the boys in a band and play bars,hotels, nightclubs etc..Again for the wrong reasons. Even later on, to get recognition and make some $$$. Today, I play to make people happy. I finally found the true meaning of playing music. after all these years. I feel better to have shared this.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

I've been a basement player all my life. 

On reflection, it seems that I've only done it for myself. I love my relationship with my guitars and don't really care to make people happy. 

I'll learn a beatles' tune to make my son and wife happy, but that's not as gratifying as playing well with a backing track from a band I idolize.


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

I sort of fell into playing guitar.
My oldest brother was moving out and asked me if I wanted a classical guitar that he bought but rarely used.
So no aspirations of being a guitar god, or chasing cash later on when I was gigging.

The three piece that I was in were just playing for our enjoyment.
We were together for a while and would have small jam parties from time to time.
One couple asked us to play their wedding, then gigs developed after that.
None of us persued any gigs, we were always asked to play somewhere.

It seems that I've always just played for the enjoyment of the music, playing with others and eventually for others.


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

I don't think there is necessarily a wrong reason to play music. If you're a musician, a real musician, you play to satisfy the NEED to play. You might find any excuse to satisfy that need, but in the end it's not necessarily about the excuse. You might think it's about escaping the wife or making a couple bucks but I doubt that it really is. That inexplicable NEED to play/create is there but it doesn't make much logical sense so we often find some logical reason to play to satisfy our internal desire for things to make sense. Who among us ONLY plays when we're sad, or ONLY plays when we fight with the wife, or ONLY plays when we're getting paid, or ONLY plays when we're high, or drunk, or playing with other people, or playing alone. We play because we NEED to play. Why is that NEED there? Who can say? Who cares? Stop thinking about it and PLAY.

My story...how I got started.

I was 23. I had, for several years often given brief thought to learning how to play but almost immediately rejected it. "I'm too old to learn." I know, ridiculous right? I had always heard accompanying licks and melody lines in my head to whatever song I was listening to.

Something happened in my life that was traumatic and a great loss. Such a great loss that even now, 23+ years later, I doubt I'm over it. It'll be with me forever I suspect. I'm not one to discuss my emotions or problems, I tend to internalize. I had no way of dealing with this internally though. I was lost.

I decided, fuck it, life's too short. I had only played a friends righty 3 or 4 times but I wouldn't say I really played. I went out, spent $1200 (in 1993) on an American Standard Strat and another $1300 on a Fender tube amp (both of which I still have) having no clue what I wanted, just figuring that they were safe choices. I also figured, if I spent peanuts, it would be too easy to quit when it got tough. If I walked by and thought about all the money I spent when I saw them sitting there, I would pick them up.

I poured all that heartache and sorrow into learning to play. Playing was a means of expressing myself that didn't leave me feeling "exposed" or vulnerable. It wasn't about wanting to play at that point, it was more about recognizing that need to play and finally having something important enough happen that forced me not to care about how difficult it might be to learn.

Over the ensuing years, any time something significant happened that moved me in some deep way that I couldn't talk about and deal with, music was always there to give me an outlet.

That's not to say that I only play when something happens. But it's always there as the ONLY support system that I can truly rely on and know that it will ALWAYS be there.


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## marcos (Jan 13, 2009)

Thanks guys, i just thought i would share. Its not easy for me to do this but its a step in the right direction.


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## Steve6D (May 9, 2016)

They may be the "wrong reasons" for you, but not for everyone.

Besides, if you played to meet girls, and you met the girl who you would later marry, I would say that you played guitar for all the _right _reasons.

I would think your wife would want you to say the same!


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## marcos (Jan 13, 2009)

Steve6D said:


> They may be the "wrong reasons" for you, but not for everyone.
> 
> Besides, if you played to meet girls, and you met the girl who you would later marry, I would say that you played guitar for all the _right _reasons.
> 
> I would think your wife would want you to say the same!


That is true.Thanks


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

People rarely do anything for one single reason. And as so much research amply demonstrates, they often aren't even aware of what motivates their behaviour. They think they know, but there are more things at work than they know.

For me, the question is really more one of "What do you, or did you, achieve?". If one played to get laid, BUT made people happy in the meantime, great. If one plays for the thrill of showing off, but learns how to cooperate with a team, great. If one plays to make old folks clap their hands in rhythm, great. If playing to get out of the house lets you appreciate the people IN the house a little more when you return, great. For my part, the important thing is that music is being made.

A scholarly book I bought some years back, and am immensely fond of, has a chapter on what the "universals" in music might consist of ( https://www.amazon.ca/Origins-Music...66864781&sr=8-1&keywords=the+origins+of+music ). And when one looks at everything that might fall under the heading of "music", regardless of form, culture, time, including stuff that you and I would not even_ recognize _as music, ultimately it's something people either do together, or do to feel like they are together. And that's a pretty good thing.


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## ed2000 (Feb 16, 2007)

For me, playing guitar releases some sort of feel good chemical in my brain. It's my time to escape.


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## Kerry Brown (Mar 31, 2014)

I started playing many years ago in my teens. Took lessons for many years. Played in a few bands. I was never that great a player but I was competent. I was playing to be cool as much as anything else. In my 20's drugs took over my life for about 10 years and guitars went by the wayside. In my 30's and 40's I was into the rat race big time, building up several businesses, Porsche in the driveway, no time for anything but work. When I hit 50 I took stock of life and where I was headed. Sold off the businesses and most of my possessions. Settled into a very comfortable if somewhat less prosperous life with a good woman. In my late 50's I decided to take up playing guitar again. I play for the joy of playing. I am no where near as good a player as I was in my teens but I really don't care. I love jamming in front of live audiences. I love the feedback from a crowd and from other musicians when you hit a groove. I rarely play lead. I like to sit back in the mix and try to make the song better, keep the beat going. Every once in while on a slow blues I'll play lead for 24 bars and life is complete.


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## Steve6D (May 9, 2016)

I started playing guitar for one reason, and I'm not ashamed to admit it: Girls.

Worked like a freakin' charm...


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## marcos (Jan 13, 2009)

Its good to hear that i am somewhat not alone. I can take in a bit of everything being shared here. I appreciate all your posts.


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## Alex (Feb 11, 2006)

ed2000 said:


> For me, playing guitar releases some sort of feel good chemical in my brain. It's my time to escape.


Same here. As much as I do enjoy meeting people, I am a "lone wolf" and could live in my music room. My lovely wife has a hard time comprehending that I can sit and learn the same riff for an hour without blowing my brains out!

I'm currently in a 5 piece and want to get out and play more. For me, it's making music with friends as opposed to playing for others. Whatever your reason, It's all good.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

I always felt a little selfish about playing music. To a certain point it seemed like a continuous excuse to party, be self-indulgent, and egotistical. This mellowed somewhat when it started to actually pay serious money and then eventually I could take the odd charity gig because it had become a full-time income, especially through teaching.

On Mother's Day 2005 I was playing guitar at my Mum's bedside when she passed away. She always loved to hear me play hymn tunes, Bach, and the like. She gave up her last breath to Bach's Sleepers Wake. It occurred to me sometime later that it was then that I started to feel very differently about playing music, that all my struggles with the concept ended with bringing joy to my mother in her final moments. It's as if it was preordained, though it was likely just chance. 

I do what I do, now because maybe it can help people learn, find some joy within themselves, and live in peace. Whether I succeed is for others to determine, but it's not about me anymore.

Sometimes the reason we do something isn't revealed until we're ready to use that something for good.


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

For me music is bridge between the rough parts of life, smooths out the bumps and helps you soar when the music is good. If others enjoy the ride so be it.


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## keto (May 23, 2006)

I wanted to make big noisy rock, inspired mostly by harder rock acts of the 60's and 70's. I've never been very good but have got lots of satisfaction making noise and flipping gear.

More satisfaction the last few years as I have joined a couple bands, contributed to songwriting and arranging, and making 'real' music.


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## marcos (Jan 13, 2009)

Mooh said:


> I always felt a little selfish about playing music. To a certain point it seemed like a continuous excuse to party, be self-indulgent, and egotistical. This mellowed somewhat when it started to actually pay serious money and then eventually I could take the odd charity gig because it had become a full-time income, especially through teaching.
> 
> On Mother's Day 2005 I was playing guitar at my Mum's bedside when she passed away. She always loved to hear me play hymn tunes, Bach, and the like. She gave up her last breath to Bach's Sleepers Wake. It occurred to me sometime later that it was then that I started to feel very differently about playing music, that all my struggles with the concept ended with bringing joy to my mother in her final moments. It's as if it was preordained, though it was likely just chance.
> 
> ...


That is a very touching story bro. My brother passed away a bit over a year ago and when i am playing in my classic country group, i wish he was here as he was a big fan of the old stuff.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

I started playing guitar when I was 11 because I loved music and the guitar, and I wanted to be rich and famous. Since then, the guitar has been one of the few things in life that's kept me going. 

I remember when I was about 16 or so, someone in passing said I should play at a church. I laughed at them and maybe even got a little angry, saying I will NEVER do that. Sometime later, someone completely unrelated asked me if I would help them with some guitar at a church. I flat out refused. Sometime after that they asked me again and wouldn't take no for an answer. 

I'm now approaching 40 and since then I've had a steady number of these gigs. When one situation has come to an end, I find myself in a new one without even trying to seek one out. At this point, I've resigned to the fact that if this is how I will gig for the rest of my days, I'm ok with that. I'll just wail away on my fuzz pedals at home. Aside from the obvious things I've learned musically, I've learned that people are people. At this point, I've encountered first hand absolutely everything someone could do...yes, that too. Some things I've had to deal with have been a little scary, but it's taught me that everyone is fighting a battle you can't see. I don't even consider myself to be a very good person, but I'm still doing this. Maybe some things are just meant to be. 

To come back to the original point of the thread, there have been several times over the years where complete strangers have come to me and thanked for me for the music, and in completely unrelated places. So as much as I do wonder why I do this, and try to talk myself into quitting, maybe I am doing it for the right reasons. Maybe.....

A while ago I saw a profile on Richard Hoover from Santa Cruz guitars on tv. He said that all their celebrity customers are great, but the most rewarding customers to him are people who play at hospitals, churches, schools, etc. He might have a point.


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

I got into playing music for the right reasons, but at some point (as one would expect) it became a business.

When that happened, the reasons I was playing seemed to change and that took much of the pleasure out of it.

I'm happiest playing when money doesn't affect the music.


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## Paul M (Mar 27, 2015)

Milkman said:


> I'm happiest playing when the lack of money doesn't affect the music.


FIFY


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

Paul M said:


> FIFY


Sorry, I'm acronymically challenged.

You'll have to spell that one out.


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

Milkman said:


> Sorry, I'm acronymically challenged.
> 
> You'll have to spell that one out.


"Fixed it for you", I had to look it up myself.


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

Thanks Jock,

I mourn the demise of the English language.


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## Moosehead (Jan 6, 2011)

Sex drugs and rock n roll...... seem like good enough reasons to me. A paycheck certainly wouldn't hurt but I've yet to make anything more than a 1-200 bucks/show and that was pretty infrequently so I can't say it's affected my playing much.


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## Electraglide (Jan 24, 2010)

In my early teens I though playing guitar might get me laid more.....wrong. Motorcycles on the other hand did and have through the years. Now I play for the hell of it for myself. That's enough for me. I don't care if I get better, if anyone else hears me or anything like that.


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## Moosehead (Jan 6, 2011)

If music was all about pussy and a paycheque I'd be playing country music. 

Currently at a country music festival in London. Daisy Dukes everywhere I turn. If you're wondering why, my wife hooked me with camping and fishing. And we had friends travelling here from Ottawa for the festival.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

Moosehead said:


> If music was all about pussy and a paycheque I'd be playing country music.
> 
> Currently at a country music festival in London. Daisy Dukes everywhere I turn. If you're wondering why, my wife hooked me with camping and fishing. And we had friends travelling here from Ottawa for the festival.


You are at trackside?


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## zontar (Oct 25, 2007)

I've enjoyed playing guitar more than ever since I started playing just for fun.

It always was fun, overall, but now that there are no other distractions--I play at home, sometimes with friends here & there, and sometimes at church--I am having more fun than ever.


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## High/Deaf (Aug 19, 2009)

This:










I wanted to be a rock god. I wanted to pull chix half my age, just like Page did at 28 and still does today! 

Hey, at least I'm honest. 

But after I started getting into the actual substance of music a bit, I found a buzz like no other playing live to a crowd. When things go well, there's nothing like it. I can feel euphoric for a day or two after a good set/gig. I'm still a live player at heart. I've tried to get into recording but it hasn't really caught yet. I guess I figure I can always do that when I'm too infirm to carry gear anymore. Kinda like golf - I guess I'll take it up when I'm too old to swing a leg over the top tube of my bike.


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## Moosehead (Jan 6, 2011)

Budda said:


> You are at trackside?


Yes. The music itself is alright but why every damn singer thinks they have to add that country twang kills it for me. There was a great slide player yesterday. Some decent lead players but the majority of people he music just seems too predictable. 

My buddy that's here with me is/was friends with a girl who played the main stage yesterday. I don't remember her name but she won Canadian artist of the year.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

Moosehead said:


> Yes. The music itself is alright but why every damn singer thinks they have to add that country twang kills it for me. There was a great slide player yesterday. Some decent lead players but the majority of people he music just seems too predictable.
> 
> My buddy that's here with me is/was friends with a girl who played the main stage yesterday. I don't remember her name but she won Canadian artist of the year.


The twang is there because its a country concert haha. 

The opener today was a friends band. You wouldnt guess two of them were from one of the more successful metal bands to come out of london.


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## Moosehead (Jan 6, 2011)

Are you here?

Well my thing with the twang is y'all ain't from the sowth so why fake it. Oh ya pussy and a pay cheque.


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## Scotty (Jan 30, 2013)

adcandour said:


> I've been a basement player all my life.
> 
> On reflection, it seems that I've only done it for myself. I love my relationship with my guitars and don't really care to make people happy.


Exactly THIS. I never played to be cool or for recognition. I liked playing. I never really cared to learn anyone's stuff really, I just get lost in my own riffs and rythyms. Most importantly, its an escape for me and to play with my eyes open, but not seeing anything...just being in another dimension absorbed in THAT moment. Love it


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## greco (Jul 15, 2007)

Scotty said:


> Exactly THIS. I never played to be cool or for recognition. I liked playing. I never really cared to learn anyone's stuff really, I just get lost in my own riffs and rhythms. Most importantly, its an escape for me and to play with my eyes open, but not seeing anything...just being in another dimension absorbed in THAT moment. Love it


That about sums it up for me also. I do enjoy getting together with friends and jamming, talking about music, gear, etc and just generally having a good laugh.


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## Piano&Violin (Feb 7, 2021)

I found this old post by Google ng on right reasons for making music. Just to clarify I don't play the guitar (well not seriously), but play the piano for church and am learning the violin as an adult in my late 40s.

I'm a person who thinks a lot about the "why'"s of things and I observe that the "why'"s affect the "how"s which is the all important part of music as that is the end product being what we hear.

In church I often see pianists who play well technically, as they got the right chords, rhythm and even the fancy embellishments and extra notes to join the stanzas but for me listening with the heart and soul in the congregation, there is no edification. Stanzas that would have touched my soul by being slower or more gentle were banged out too harshly and so on...

I've come to some conclusions, one if which music is best played when the end in mind is for the cultivation of the heart and soul, be it mine or others.


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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

No wrong reasons to learn something, excel at it and want to share that with others,
you’re experiencing the guitar equivalent of catholic guilt. Play 10 proud Mary’s and forget about it.


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## MarkM (May 23, 2019)

Never played at a church, really never been to church much.

Went to funeral once where the family were the band, great musicians! 

Used to really enjoy jamming with my buddies, my brother in particular. Never made much playing gigs, bar tab was always more? I have been playing since grade 8 , beginning guitar at Woodlands JR High in 1979 or so. Mr Strong was the man that got me playing guitar. I still have the chord charts he gave us to learn and when my hands co- operate I can still fingerpicking like the dickens !


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## Wardo (Feb 5, 2010)

> If music was all about pussy and a paycheque I'd be playing country music.


This is probably about the most useful thing I’ve ever read on this board in the 10 years or so that I’ve been here.


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## laristotle (Aug 29, 2019)




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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

there's only ONE reason to play music:

because it makes YOU happy. 
_why_ it makes you happy is a separate matter.


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