# Overcoming Stage Fright (Panic)



## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

First of all, I'm using the phrase stage fright loosely. It might mean fear of anything from playing a live show to trying out for a new band to just jamming with some strangers.

I'm posting this because I know some people whom I've played with (they're free to remain anonymous) that are super reluctant to go out and play in front of people, even in a casual environment. From my own experience as someone who suffered from this greatly (and still do mildly) for 20 years, I feel that this was one of the single biggest factors impeding my own personal improvement. Once I got over it (to some degree) my playing improved dramatically and I found I enjoyed playing with people more than I could have possibly imagined. While I'm still not interested in being the center of attention and prefer to be off to the side/in the background, I can't imagine going back to the way I was before and missing out on all the fun.

So what was your experience? What's your advice for overcoming this all too common hurdle?

For me, the breakthrough was, after I started playing again after several years with the gear under the stairs, I started responding to kijiji ads for jamming partners. After meeting and playing with several different people, I began to realize that I wasn't as terrible as I thought. While there were lots of people that were much better than me, there were also lots of people that were much worse. I went from random jams with single people to co-forming a regular jam group with the odd person coming and going. From that I went to Riff Wrath, a relatively safe environment. From there, trying out for a couple of already formed bands, even though I ultimately decided I didn't really want to be in a gigging band.

Working through that process I learned a lot about my playing/skills in relation to other peoples' and found that, while I'm no superstar, I'm at least competent. I also learned that I'm much more critical of my playing than anyone else is about my playing. Most importantly, I learned that there is simply no substitute for playing with other people. It's so much fun and you can learn so much more, so much faster. Basically it came down to, all the fun to be had totally outweighed my own personal jitters (some justified, some imagined).


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## Guest (Jul 23, 2016)

JBFairthorne said:


> Riff Wrath, a relatively safe environment.


Relatively!?
Is that because someone complained that you weren't loud enough? lol.


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Rest, especially between set up/sound check and the first set. Being physically exhausted, out of breath, or tense, isn't conducive to a good start and triggers performance anxiety in me. I try to nap during the afternoon before a show as well.

Hydration, and I mean water or juice rather than booze or artificial sweeteners. Dry mouth and dehydration are triggers for me, plus it brings on a headache if I'm not careful. I prefer ice in whatever I drink just to help cool my body and maybe the psychological benefit that it represents relaxation. Fwiw, a suit jacket and tie are miserable wardrobe choices and only serve to make me uncomfortable and hot.

Nourishment, like a healthy meal before the show with time enough for it to digest a bit. Salad, some protein, but not too much bread as it can make me feel bloated. My stomach isn't an issue but I don't like being ravishingly hungry after a show, and before a show it's a trigger for nervousness.

I generally don't drink coffee after lunch but a small one can help give me a boost when I know the effects will be worked out of my system by the end of the night. Too much and I get the jitters, another trigger.

Having all my ducks in a row. Everything organized, gear and stage set-up assured, sound check issues worked out, first few songs in mind, intros worked out, solos confident, and so on. Nothing triggers performance anxiety like, "Oh shit on a stick, how do we kick off Midnight Special?" in the seconds before we launch it.

The biggest trigger used to be self-doubt. I spent years trying to believe I was capable and competent, even in the face of evidence that I was. The same assholes who bullied me in elementary school seemed to reappear as band members or unruly audience (metaphorically, you understand) and I took many things too much to heart. As I matured and life handed me some other obstacles that dwarfed my performance anxiety, somehow it got easier to handle the stage. Playing in a band is nothing like as unnerving as watching family members die, losing your job, seeing your home devastated, not being able to help your children in their moment of crisis, dealing with cancer, etc. Telling myself that I've experienced worse than stage fright put it in perspective a little better. 

I have a friend and former bandmate who usually has a good vomit before a gig, and I know another who required therapy to do what he loves. For me it's a hurdle rather than a prison wall, once I get over it, it's smooth sailing. Nowadays it doesn't happen often, I approach life with a shit-eating grin and a damn the torpedoes attitude rather than with self-conscious self-doubt.

Everyone's experience is different.


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

Relatively...because it's not our home, somewhere we're more comfortable playing, that's filled with strangers. Even as welcoming as RW is, it generally feels more comfortable playing in a YOUR place with far fewer people around. Going out and playing at RW is more difficult than say, inviting a guy to jam at your house. Safe, being the perception of safe of course.

Actually though, someone telling me to turn up is far better than being told to turn down....way way down...in fact, off wouldn't be so bad.


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## Distortion (Sep 16, 2015)

I would say if you are gigging musician and you get performance anxiety or stage fright, you are in the wrong business.


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

Distortion said:


> I would say if you are gigging musician and you get performance anxiety or stage fright, you are in the wrong business.


I'm not sure I agree. Plenty of very successful professional musicians suffer from stage fright. Robbie Robertson comes to mind. The Band even did a song about it.


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## Kerry Brown (Mar 31, 2014)

My story is very similar. Played a lot in my teens and twenties. Didn't play at all for thirty years. My father died of Alzheimers and I hit the age where I started thinking about that. Some research suggests that playing an instrument could help so I started playing guitar again. Slowly at first, nowhere near as good as I was before, but the knowledge and theory came back pretty quick. I'll never be as fast or as good as I was before but I feel my musicality is better if that makes sense. I really like playing rhythm trying to find some space in the mix where I can add something. After a year I got the urge to play with other people and I started browsing Craig's List. I live in a small town an hour from Vancouver. There was a lot going on in Vancouver but nothing local to me. Then one day there was a post from a guy trying to start a blues jam in a local pub. I hadn't been in the pub in twenty years at least. It is a bit of a dive. I emailed him with my story. He encouraged me to come out and watch if I was too nervous to play. I watched for about an hour one Sunday and decided I'd give it a try. It took me two weeks of driving by the pub on Sundays with my guitar in the car before I got up the nerve to do it. My first time I was shaking so hard I could barely tune my guitar. I played rhythm for three songs and quickly packed up my guitar and went home. Fast forward three years and I play every Thursday night in that bar. I play in a couple of organized monthly acoustic jams. I have met several local musicians that I jam with occasionally. Now I'm working on singing while I play but that is very scary to me. It'll take me a while to get up the nerve to sing in public. Writing this I realize that playing with others has become very important to me. The fact that I started because I was worried about Alzheimers isn't even a consideration any more. When you're jamming a new song that you've never heard before and everyone hits the groove at the same time, there just aren't many things in life that can compare to the high you get. I still get nervous every time before going on a stage but I know I'll get over it as soon as the playing starts. Every once in while when you notice the audience has quit talking and they are tapping along or even getting up and dancing it's all worthwhile.


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## Jamdog (Mar 9, 2016)

I started to play only recently. 

Very recently. 

I did the math (well, looked at the dates of the first guitar pictures I took) and I've been at it loosely for about 6 months. Without regularity or teacher. 

Something I realize us that, when someone - anyone - is around, I always miss the first few notes. Always. 
Then I do OK. 
I wouldn't say fright... But nervosity perhaps? 

Although, I don't thing I'd go to a Riff Wrath just yet. Maybe when I know how to play more than a few notes I'll think about it. 


Oh, and thanks @JBFairthorn this is an excellent and very interesting topic


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## Mooh (Mar 7, 2007)

Audience size and composition has some bearing on the subject. 

I grew up singing in front of church congregations, then played guitar and bass in bars and dances with cover bands for years. Usually from 50 to a few hundred people, and sometimes they weren't receptive. Because the people were of varying degrees of intoxication, interest, and from a wide socio-economic base, it was hard to view them as one audience rather than as a group of individuals, some of whom loved us and some of whom didn't...or worse.

The first time I was to play in front of a large audience, steeling myself for the coming stage fright, I became distracted by the changing of acts on a folk festival stage. When it was my time to go on (as a member of a band) the audience didn't bother me at all. It wasn't a group of individuals anymore, it was one mass of humanity. Sure, it was 1000s of people, but only one audience. One in that they shared an interest, appreciation, acceptance, and open-mindedness towards us. It was OUR crowd. No nerves, a bit like pretending to play for my Woodstock audience poster.


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

Don't worry Jam, you'll get there. My advice is...start learning the jam standards, the songs that EVERYONE knows...even if they're not your 1st choice. They're a great ice breaker. Sure, almost everyone is sick of jamming them, but they're sick of them because EVERYONE knows them and they've played them a zillion times. They've all played them a zillion times because...when everyone is standing around trying to find something in common that they all know, they just keep popping up.

Examples include (but not limited to)...Rocky Mountain Way, Mustang Sally (ugh), Cocaine, Sunshine Of Your Love, Dear Mr. Fantasy, Ziggy Stardust, Can't You See, Hey Joe...etc.


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## Jamdog (Mar 9, 2016)

JBFairthorne said:


> Examples include (but not limited to)...Rocky Mountain Way, Mustang Sally (ugh), Cocaine, Sunshine Of Your Love, Dear Mr. Fantasy, Ziggy Stardust, Can't You See, Hey Joe...etc.


So.... No stairway to heaven, and no Johnny B. Goode?
Lol

Thanks a lot for posting this, I'll ask my youtube teachers for those titles


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## Lola (Nov 16, 2014)

When I first started playing with others(Cheezy and company) I was a nervous Nellie! No matter how much I practiced I knew that mistakes were my destiny. The idea that I might screw up and sound horrible played havoc with my mind constantly. I persevered though. I wanted this so badly. Making a mistake and sounding inadequate *was* the end of the world as I knew it. It was totally debilitating.

I really wanted to get myself out of this self destructive mind set. I started to go to Meet up jams just to play with others. That's when I realized that I should recruit some of these people to form something a little more permanent, a little more cohesive etc.

Now I have been with the same band since last August. We have gone through a few changes since. I still get a little nervous but once I am in the "pocket" so to speak I find it easy to play and even improvise. It also helps when you get positive feedback from other band members. Actually I have actually turned into a bit of a show off. I love to dance when I am in the groove and will even pull off a Townsend windmill arm every once in a while. It's so much fun. You could say I am a lot more comfortable these days and if I make a mistake, who cares. I just don't anymore. 


If I make a mistake now, it doesn't phase me anymore. Just keep moving forward and don't look back!

The number one factor that contributed to overcoming this was playing with others on a regular schedule!


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## Kerry Brown (Mar 31, 2014)

Lola said:


> If I make a mistake now, it doesn't phase me anymore. Just keep moving forward and don't look back!
> 
> The number one factor that contributed to overcoming this was playing with others on a regular schedule!


Couldn't say this better. It captures the essence of successfully playing with others.


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## Guest (Jul 23, 2016)

Kerry Brown said:


> .. everyone hits the groove at the same time, there just aren't many things in life that can compare to the high you get.


And it's quite the feeling, eh!?
Same thing happens when I harmonize with others (guitar or vocals).


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## bw66 (Dec 17, 2009)

Distortion said:


> I would say if you are gigging musician and you get performance anxiety or stage fright, you are in the wrong business.


Tell that to Van Morrison, Miles Davis, and Elton John.



JBFairthorne said:


> I'm not sure I agree. Plenty of very successful professional musicians suffer from stage fright. Robbie Robertson comes to mind. The Band even did a song about it.


I always thought that song was about Van Morrison.

For me, I just finally made the decision that I needed to perform to become a better musician. I knew I could play well in the safety of my own home, but nerves have always been a problem for me - whether it's public speaking or hitting a baseball or whatever...

Things that I've found help (many of them obvious):
- preparation (including visualization)
- rest
- a friendly audience (I've found that all audiences have a vibe and it can vary widely from one open mic to the next. Some people prefer a noisy audience, I play better if I think they might actually be listening.)
- play well within your ability, especially at first.
- avoid caffeine and alcohol - small amounts of alcohol loosen me up - better for guitar, worse for singing, which is my weakness of the two - and the more noticeable to the average audience.
- Mistakes happen, move on. Good stuff happens, move on. It's hard to stay "in the moment" - if I pay too much attention to what has already happened, things can only get worse.
- the realization that people who make way more money than me sometimes make huge, irreparable mistakes on stage, gives me comfort.


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## High/Deaf (Aug 19, 2009)

I've experienced nervousness but I wouldn't call it stage fright. Certainly not debilitating. I feel similar to JB - I'm not the best in the room, I'm not the worst in the room, and these people are here to hear music.

One thing that can set me off is lack of prep. Sometimes I'm setting up right after arriving, still getting things going as the others are just about ready to start. If I'm still sweating from load-in/setup while we're starting the first song, it can take a while to come down and relax into the moment. I feel stress in that environment . One evening I had pedalboard problems, I was still wiggling wires while the other guys had actually started the song. But I got going, jumped in and away we went.

When it works, you feel great. And this comfort being in front of people paid huge dividends in my work life. I used to give presentations as a part of an engineering group. Most of those guys can't look you in the eye, and I was up there in front of a couple hundred people telling jokes and having fun. My compadres couldn't believe it - but they were glad I could do it. I knew those people in the audience wanted to hear what I had to say. They wouldn't have been there otherwise.

Which brings me to one more idea: Worst job in the world must be stand-up comic. Half the people in the audience think they are funnier than you and will heckle you to prove it. That must be brutal, because I don't think many of the people are actually there to listen to the performer. This is the only situation like this I can think of - being it front of people that are difficult and challenging.


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## amagras (Apr 22, 2015)

When the band doesn't have time to get a good sound on the sound check.


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## Lola (Nov 16, 2014)

I think to, that being a personal fitness trainer and an aerobics fitness instructor helped me greatly. There were very large classes that I used to conduct. 30 fitness buffs, eyes all on me! You would have to choreograph an hour long class, memorize it and then go out an perform like it was nothing. It became second nature. There were people that loved me or hated me. I made mistakes but made out like it part and parcel of the routine. They didn't know! That's when the layers of my skin became thicker. It was fun while it lasted! This is so similar to performing playing guitar in front of others.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

The best way to overcome stage fright is to keep playing live.


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## Guest (Aug 4, 2016)

When rehearsing, have a few friends/family hang out and listen/watch.
Encourage one of them to periodically yell 'you suck!' at ya's too.
It'll help you get used to that as well. lol.


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## Lola (Nov 16, 2014)

I have the fortitude to play in front of anyone now because I don't dwell on the fact of whether they will love my playing or hate it! I just get rid of the negative self talk. One thing that has really helped my playing in the last six months was to learn how to physically relax my fretting and picking hands. I can relax myself for the most part on command when I feel tension creeping into my body!


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

One time after a gig I was standing with my guitar case and someone who was there the whole night came up to me and asked me why I had a guitar case. 

That's an extreme example, but if someone can be that clueless, then the majority of people won't notice the little mistake(s) you made. You just have to keep doing it, but one day you'll realize that you're not nervous anymore. Hell, it took me years to get to that point. Some nerves will probably keep you on your toes anyway. Also, remember that you can never be too well rehearsed. You have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you know the material inside out....and do you know the other guitar parts in case you have to jump in and cover their parts if something happens mid song on their end. It sounds cliche, but preparation is key. 

All things aside, I love hearing the little mistakes on older albums and live albums. I'm suspect of musicians that never make mistakes.


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## Kerry Brown (Mar 31, 2014)

Once after what I thought was a terrible set. I had several people come up to me as I was packing up and tell me how good I sounded. I realized then that getting nervous was silly. I still do but the worst symptoms are gone.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

Kerry Brown said:


> Once after what I thought was a terrible set. I had several people come up to me as I was packing up and tell me how good I sounded. I realized then that getting nervous was silly. I still do but the worst symptoms are gone.


That's happened to me several times too.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Many adults report that their #1 fear is public speaking. What I always used to tell students who were anxious about doing an oral presentation in class was that:

a) not nearly as many people are "judging" you as you might think; most are just waiting for something interesting or entertaining to happen
b) you're at the front, they're at the back, anything you say goes; your role gives you _authority_, not an oppressive spotlight
c) audiences generally confuse how much fun they are having with how interesting the material being presented is; if you can be engaging, they'll be impressed
d) audiences generally appreciate when a presenter makes eye contact, so that it feels like a conversation between them and the presenter
e) don't shove too much in; save some of the good stuff for later
Playing music isn't really all that different from giving an oral presentation in class. Quite frankly, there isn't a musician alive who *hasn't* had to restart a song that began clumsily. And sometimes, audiences appreciate the second try even more than a well-executed first try.

There are some people you're never gonna please, so screw 'em. There will always be someone in an audience going "Jeez, how could Michael Landau pooch that riff?", "That's the dullest tone I've ever heard Robin Trower use", "Pagey was SOOOO much better in the old days". And of those dorks are gonna be that judgmental about people you'd give your eye teeth to be, then what does it matter what YOU do? Have fun, and let the fun be infectious.

James Taylor once said in a Rolling Stone interview that one ought to start off a set with a song you could play if a tiger was chewing your leg off. Selection of a set-opener that provides confidence can create the sort of rapport with fellow musicians and an audience that can carry you through a whole set. Bands, whether established or impromptu, need to put thought into set-openers, and choose wisely. It should likely have a crisp opening, and a crisp ending; something that tells both the audience and your fellow musicians "We are coordinated".

There is a time and a place for virtuosity. It doesn't have to be everywhere, all the time. Fellow musicians appreciate solid rhythm support because it makes the group work better and often puts them in a good light. And if one is providing good support then one is less likely to worry about being in the spotlight. Hell, sometimes simply strumming chords well sounds great, and it takes a load off your imagination.

Brevity is your friend. Better 12 bars of conciseness and self-contained playing than 144 bars of drivel that peaks around bar 40 and wanders aimlessly for the remainder. Treat JJ Cale as your model.


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