# Should I post this? Too late...



## bluzfish (Mar 12, 2011)

CANCER SUCKS BIG TIME

What else can I say? I got it. Now I have to deal with it. I don't fear the maybe inevitable. Life is a gift and I've been blessed in great measure with a life I would not change for any reason because it has made me who I am and I am happy with that. I want no sympathy, sadness or even friendly concern about it.

In a warped kind of way I feel somewhat blessed for the experience. I've lived my life with an open ended future and have always been a notorious procrastinator - hey, there's always tomorrow to get things done. Today I just feel like playing my guitar. But now the future is looming more finite, I am realizing more than ever how precious the time I have here really is. Perhaps I will be less inclined to waste it as I seem to often do.

Anyway, it's mine to deal with and deal with it I will in pursuit of the joi de vivre I have always sought out on this planet.

I just began the chemo / radiation treatments which will proceed until January, during which I am told I will probably feel like death warmed over. Even now beginning my first cycle, I mostly feel like I have a constant flu and finding the energy to get out of my chair takes some muster. Even at this writing, I will most likely need some time to find the concentration to finish anything remotely coherent.

But I have been blessed with the gift of music. I keep my guitars handy to pick up and put down at will. I may not be a good player but it doesn't matter. It is the one thing I can and feel like doing and it feels good. I can transport away to another place, if even for a few minutes, far more than any drug could ever magically do. Even as the puke attempts to rise from my gut, I can pick up my guitar or just listen to some of my favourite music. I am taken away to another place and all is well with the world.

My close friends and family seem so far, far away in Vancouver, so feelings of isolation are a bit of a bugaboo. I hope no one here feels I am trying to unload a big pile on the GC community. That is not my intention. I don't know any of you personally but I am thankful to have such a great gathering of like minded individuals to commiserate with who understand my love of music. Every guy and gal on this forum has a gift to be cherished. Never take that for granted.

If music be the food of love, play on...


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## ronmac (Sep 22, 2006)

Believe. It can be beaten.

PM me your telephone number if you ever need to talk to anyone who has been there...


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## davetcan (Feb 27, 2006)

Nothing much I can say but good luck and fight the damn thing every day you can. I lost my dad to it years ago but more recently I've had friends beat it. I do believe treatments are getting better. Hang on to the music.


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## bluesguitar1972 (Jul 16, 2011)

Best wishes in your battle. I wouldn't worry about reaching out when feeling a little isolated. I'm sure you have nothing but support from members of this online community.


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## Beatles (Feb 7, 2006)

I am a cancer survivor. I was diagnosed with bladder cancer fifteen years ago, and have had three procedures to remove the growth, the last procedure about 10 years ago. Several chemical treatments via injection though my penis after that. My doctor operated the same way, no invasive surgury. The follow ups are all done by cystoscopy. Not pleasant, but it is what it is. I too wondered about my life, the good and bad things that I have done, and I said why me? It changed my life forever, but in a positive way. I have more appreciation for my loved ones, the people around me, and how I spend my time. Thankfully, I am fortunate to be able to play guitar. It helped take my mind off things and brightened up those darker moments. 

Rest assured that you are not alone. You have great friends here, and they are only a keyboard away. God Bless.

Gary


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Sign up for your local Terry Fox Run. You don't have to run. I'm sure there will be hundreds and hundreds also walking alongside who will be there to tell you that they were diagnosed 2, 5, 10 years ago, had to wear a hat for a little while, but are back in form, and walking/running because all that money raised didn't just go to sending lab coats off to the laundry.

I'm not going to pry, and I'm not going to sugar coat. There's a LOT of different cancers, with varying prognoses, and there are a lot of different points to be diagnosed at, which also results in different prognoses. But the simple facts are that where 20 years ago we would have all known someone who just withered and vanished from the damn thing, all of us now know someone who took a couple months off work, and are now back at work and doing fine.

I have a cousin - a judge, no less - who is frail to begin with. She got diagnosed with breast cancer, had 4 months of treatment, lost a bit of hair, but it came back quick, and she said she had no sickness. Easy exhaustion, yes, but no chronic nausea, or anything like that.

So be realistic, but there are a Marshall stack's worth of reasons to be optimistic. You're in a city with high quality care, and folks who are up-to-date on the most advanced techniques and treatments.


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## bluzfish (Mar 12, 2011)

Beatles said:


> I am a cancer survivor. I was diagnosed with bladder cancer fifteen years ago, and have had three procedures to remove the growth, the last procedure about 10 years ago. Several chemical treatments via injection though my penis after that. My doctor operated the same way, no invasive surgury. The follow ups are all done by cystoscopy. Not pleasant, but it is what it is. I too wondered about my life, the good and bad things that I have done, and I said why me? It changed my life forever, but in a positive way. I have more appreciation for my loved ones, the people around me, and how I spend my time. Thankfully, I am fortunate to be able to play guitar. It helped take my mind off things and brightened up those darker moments.
> 
> Rest assured that you are not alone. You have great friends here, and they are only a keyboard away. God Bless.
> 
> Gary


That is really encouraging! I had a tumor removed from my bladder via cystoscopy July 5th which my surgeon felt confidently successful about but the pathology indicated a "high grade" cancer present in what they hope is only the surrounding tissue which makes it most likely treatable. Like you, the surgery was non-invasive (thank you, modern medical science!). The only concern for me is that at my age and health, the last resort of removing the bladder is very risky. The upside is that I wouldn't have to get up to pee several times a night, lol.

I haven't asked "why me?" because I never asked "why me?" when all the good things happened in my life, although sometimes I have wondered why I'm such a blessed sonofabitch.

Considering the amount of time you have been able to fight what seems to be somewhat similar to my prognosis, your words are immensely encouraging. Thank you.


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

damn

No matter how much we may disagree with each other about politics, religion and pretty much anything discussed here, the one common enemy we share is cancer.

I and my wife (well mostly her of course) fought breast cancer last year and she's now in the aftercare drug therapy phase, which is five years. I wish I could say the cancer is gone, never to return, but they just don't give those assurances.

So far she's cancer free and we're grateful for that.

Good luck with your treatment. If I was a praying man, I do that, but alas, when it comes time to check out, I'll be on my own.

Fight back as hard as you can.


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## Beatles (Feb 7, 2006)

bluzfish said:


> That is really encouraging! I had a tumor removed from my bladder via cystoscopy July 5th which my surgeon felt confidently successful about but the pathology indicated a "high grade" cancer present in what they hope is only the surrounding tissue which makes it most likely treatable. Like you, the surgery was non-invasive (thank you, modern medical science!). The only concern for me is that at my age and health, the last resort of removing the bladder is very risky. The upside is that I wouldn't have to get up to pee several times a night, lol.
> 
> I haven't asked "why me?" because I never asked "why me?" when all the good things happened in my life, although sometimes I have wondered why I'm such a blessed sonofabitch.
> 
> Considering the amount of time you have been able to fight what seems to be somewhat similar to my prognosis, your words are immensely encouraging. Thank you.


Following my third surgery, my doctor injected, IIRC Sensitized Pig Lymphocytes once a week for six weeks. I believe that this was what helped cure the disease. Here is an article on it http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/bjs.1800611018/abstract You can google it to find additional articles. You may wish to discuss this with your urologist, if you haven't done so already. Feel free to PM me if there is anything you wish to talk about. 

Gary


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

Ah man, sorry to hear.

I'd thought that you'd been missing there for a while and was glad to see when you came back.
Your posts always seem so positive, you're a valued member here.

I suppose that with most of us playing for so long, we sometimes take for granted the gift that we truly have.
Music can sooth the savage beast.

Best of luck with your recovery, we're all here anytime you need us.


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## bw66 (Dec 17, 2009)

I've nothing to add, except the best wishes from another GCer.

Stay strong and take care.


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## keto (May 23, 2006)

If you need any errands run, or someone to hang around with or jam with for a couple of hours, give me a shout. I work from home and usually have a fairly flexible schedule, I'm on the west end but mobile.


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## Clean Channel (Apr 18, 2011)

Man, I wish I had something profound to post, but I'm at loss except to say that I wish you the best in your fight. I'm looking forward to seeing you here and to sharing our mutual love for the guitar!


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## bluzfish (Mar 12, 2011)

sulphur said:


> Ah man, sorry to hear.
> 
> I'd thought that you'd been missing there for a while and was glad to see when you came back.
> Your posts always seem so positive, you're a valued member here.
> ...


Thanks, sulphur. I was lurking but whenever I had something to add to a post, I... procrastinated, surprise, surprise. I just couldn't seem to compose anything of substance, so I just listened to others' thoughts and put my own opinions aside for a later date. I have a lot of old posts to revue!

BTW my "like" button stopped working. Thanks for all the encouragement to everybody.


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## Chito (Feb 17, 2006)

Sorry to hear. Like everyone says it can be beaten. My dad had colon cancer 13 years ago, he's now 83 and doing well. My brother was also diagnosed with the same thing just 3 months ago and he's had surgery. No chemo or anything. I have a male friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer (yes it does happen to guys too) and went symptoms free for 4 years but then his cancer metastasized, they told him he's stage 4 (not good) that was almost 3 years ago now. I'm just saying it can be beat. Good luck and hope you get better soon. 

Sent from my Q10 using Tapatalk 2


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## Intrepid (Oct 9, 2008)

I can tell you that you just have to remain positive even though that may be difficult at times. My Wife was diagnosed with advance Breast Cancer in late May. In her case, it had metastasized and spread through the Lymph nodes and our Oncologist recommended a very aggressive regimen of Chemotherapy, then surgery (if possible) and then radiation. A 15th month plan of treatment. The Medical Team was looking at "control" as opposed to "cure". However, after 3 three sets of Chemo (4 more to go), the improvement has been incredible. Several of the Tumours have shrunk in size significantly and the largest tumour (which was over 5cm in diameter) is now half the size and will permit surgery eventually. After several more tests the treatment plan has now changed from "control" to "cure". The reason I mention this to you is the fact that we were originally given a gloomy diagnosis (although accurate) that has now morphed into something very positive because of modern medical science. It's still a bumpy road but significantly more positive. You have to have some faith in the treatment, stay active and eat healthy foods. You can do it, I'm confident in that. Please know that you are not alone and we're all pulling for you at GC.


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## Jim DaddyO (Mar 20, 2009)

Both my parents are cancer survivors. My dad is now 89 and still driving, my mom is 86 and could probably still kick my ass. By the looks of the posts on this thread, a lot of prayers have been said for you, add mine to the list. If you ever feel the need to unload, go ahead and use the forum, you are part of the family!


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## Hamstrung (Sep 21, 2007)

All the best to you during this battle and I wish you a full recovery.


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## Swervin55 (Oct 30, 2009)

Hey Bluzfish. I also noticed you've been awol of late. Didn't know you were fighting this until now. All's been said but rock on brother and keep fighting. Like Keto said, if you need anything I'm just a PM away (and I own a car!)


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## keto (May 23, 2006)

Swervin55 said:


> ............... Like Keto said, if you need anything I'm just a PM away (and I own a car!)


Hey! I represent that!

j/k, I have one at my disposal of course. Strangely, I do not own it (or any other), it's a company car, so you hit a nerve!


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## Swervin55 (Oct 30, 2009)

Yeah, I know you have a car but I don't think Bluzfish does.


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## bluzfish (Mar 12, 2011)

Now, now, boys, quit fighting over me! Ha ha, I mean it, you guys are the best. Swervin55 knows I don't drive because I have never taken advantage of his generous offer to do some work on my guitars, even though I'm about 10 minutes away, even in traffic. The ETS sucks unless your going to the outer suburbs during rush hour.

It might be fun some time to get together to check out some music at the Starlite or BOW. I do need a reason to get off my ass and go out these days.

In any case, I will be making it my best effort to go to the Ramada at the end of the month to hopefully meet you guys in person.

I do appreciate everyone's support. Scott has created a wonderful meeting place here.


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## puckhead (Sep 8, 2008)

thoughts, prayers and good mojo in your battle Bluzfish.


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## Shark (Jun 10, 2010)

bluzfish said:


> But I have been blessed with the gift of music. I keep my guitars handy to pick up and put down at will. I may not be a good player but it doesn't matter. It is the one thing I can and feel like doing and it feels good. I can transport away to another place, if even for a few minutes, far more than any drug could ever magically do. Even as the puke attempts to rise from my gut, I can pick up my guitar or just listen to some of my favourite music. I am taken away to another place and all is well with the world.


Hang onto this. The best way to fight is to find peace. All the best.


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## -ST- (Feb 2, 2008)

Hi bluzfish,



bluzfish said:


> CANCER SUCKS BIG TIME


Yes it does, and music is community. 

Best wishes and may you have a speedy recovery.


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## WCGill (Mar 27, 2009)

All the best bud, we've all been touched by this disease in one way or another. Hope you'll drop by at the show at the Ramada, I'll be looking for you.


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## zontar (Oct 25, 2007)

Sorry to hear about the cancer--but the rest sounds very hopeful.
I know many cancer survivors, so I've heard about what they go through, but haven't had to face it myself.
Some just moved on, some got involved in cancer research charities, etc.
Some found it opened some opportunities for them.

It does change your perspective though.
Best wishes and all for good health and beating it.


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## TheRumRunner (Sep 29, 2011)

Sending good vibes your way man.

DW


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## bzrkrage (Mar 20, 2011)

Hey Bluzfish,

Yep, sucks BIG time.

Hope to chat & shoot the sh!t with you & the gang in Edmonton.

Hang tough & let music sooth your soul.

Peace & Mojo sent.


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## Mr Yerp (Feb 24, 2006)

I'm finding it difficult to come up with something to say that hasn't been said already, but I truly wish you the best. Too many people are being affected this way it seems...
When in doubt, quote Spock....
"Live long and prosper."


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## buzzy (May 28, 2011)

Your positive attitude and the music in your life are great assets in this battle. All the best to you.


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

buzzy has a good point there. my wife had cancer. now she don't. can be the same for you. positive attitude is 90% afaict


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## brimc76 (Feb 14, 2008)

I can't add much more to what has already been said but stay as strong as you can and know there are people here that support your fight. I don't know of anyone's family (friends included because they are family we choose) that this evil disease has not touched.


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## Steadfastly (Nov 14, 2008)

Bluzfish: Three close friends of mine have recently beat cancer. As one of the posters mentioned, diet is very, very important as are antitoxins. If you want the information of what they did, PM me anytime and I'll share everything I know. Very best regards, Steadfastly


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## bluzfish (Mar 12, 2011)

I just finished a phase 1 of 4 chemo sessions yesterday. The first part of the phase took 6 hours of IVs and knocked me for a loop last week leaving me barely functional (fortunately I stocked up on supplies). Yesterday was an easy day with 1 hr of IV and it started out ok, but I was awake all night with weird dreams and discomfort. Today I feel like a fizzling firecracker but at least I have an appetite. I have a break for a week and then start the 2nd phase. Radiation doesn't start until December. Not looking forward to that part...

Steadly is right from what I understand about diet, exercise and antitoxins, but dragging my heels out the door and making the effort to shove food down my gullet takes all the energy I can manage. Ha, ha, even as I walk around bitching about the foibles of the world in my perfect little head, I have to laugh at myself every time I want to bitch out loud, imagining others seeing me (justifiably) as some sort of cranky old man caricature.

Some really good news though. One of my oldest friends has offered to drive out to Edmonton on "business" to pick up me and my guitar for a road trip back to White Rock. My friends are quite active in the music scene there, so I look forward to some fun jams and stuff. I haven't seen my beloved BC interior for many years, so that will be a pretty great diversion, not to mention a nice thanksgiving dinner and visit with all my old buds.

And yes, life is still rich and good. Thank you all so much for your support and encouragement.


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## greco (Jul 15, 2007)

You too can beat this.....as so many others have done.

Take good care.

Dave


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## JCJ (Jan 3, 2008)

I don't post much here on GC, but I read a lot, and lurk. 
I wish you all the best going forward--you have support here and I look forward to your updates on treatment and recovery. Eat well, try and stay positive, and avoid toxic people.


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## bluzfish (Mar 12, 2011)

Well, after 4 months of chemo and a month of daily radiation treatments, I'm done for now. I guess it'll just be wait and see if the treatments were effective. I'm told that I will take a month or 2 to get back to normal physically but I think I may be much closer to normal in a week or two.

I lost a bit of weight during treatments but unfortunately, I'm not back to my rock star weight. Everyone from my oncologists to nursing staff made things run perfectly smoothly and they even saved me the $40 cab rides to and from treatments by providing free transportation with volunteer drivers. Through their counselors, I was able to get other financial assistance and counseling on any issue that might concern me. The Cross Cancer Institute is a pretty big research hospital at U of A but I always felt like I was treated with respect and dignity. They even found my warped sense of humour amusing like when I asked if I could bring a microwave burrito in the machine with me so I could cook breakfast during the radiation sessions. Or asking when my super powers will take effect. OK, stupid, not funny, but an example of the casualness for relaxed treatment sessions.

The surgeon who removed my tumor did a great job according to the camera they shoved up my dick for a cystoscopy at the end of November. Watching the monitor, I also learned that I am as handsome inside as I am outside.

So I just wanted to let my buds at GC know that things are looking positive and my prognosis looks good at this point.

I may even go out to the coast at the end of the month to catch some of my friends' gigs and celebrate my birthday coming up.


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

That's great news bf!

All the best on the road to recovery!


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## Swervin55 (Oct 30, 2009)

Hey Bluz. Very happy to hear the positive news. Offer still stands for anything you need that I can help with.


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## bw66 (Dec 17, 2009)

bluzfish said:


> They even found my warped sense of humour amusing like when I asked if I could bring a microwave burrito in the machine with me so I could cook breakfast during the radiation sessions. Or asking when my super powers will take effect. OK, stupid, not funny, but an example of the casualness for relaxed treatment sessions.


For what it's worth, I snickered...

Congratulations on getting through with sense of humour intact! It can be a real grind. 

All the best for a full recovery!


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## bzrkrage (Mar 20, 2011)

Great news bluzfish! Good on you for fighting & giving the big "C" the middle finger. Hope it goes well for you.


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## bluzfish (Mar 12, 2011)

Swervin55 said:


> Hey Bluz. Very happy to hear the positive news. Offer still stands for anything you need that I can help with.


Thanks Marvin. I appreciate your offer. Other than finding the energy to overcoming inertia to get out more, the only thing I need right now are some setups with light high fret dressing and bone nuts. I'll let you know when I have a little extra cash to get you to do that for me.


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## Swervin55 (Oct 30, 2009)

No need to wait. We can work something out. Your call.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

bluzfish said:


> The surgeon who removed my tumor did a great job according to the camera they shoved up my dick for a cystoscopy at the end of November. Watching the monitor, I also learned that I am as handsome inside as I am outside.


Must...wipe....snot...off...keyboard. :smiley-faces-75:

At this point, buddy, your problem is not cancer. Your problem is that you live in Edmonton! 

Wouldn't we all love a good excuse to put on some weight, eh? Chris Hadfield had to put on some bone mass once he came down from the ISS. Given the choice between having weight issues from being in space or having cancer, I think I know which one I'd pick, but when putting some meat back on your bones (or bone in your meat) is what you share in common with an astronaut, then I guess life's not too shabby.

Keep rockin' buddy. Buy yourself some new strings. You'll need 'em.


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## grumpyoldman (Jan 31, 2010)

That is excellent news, Eric. Hang in there, my friend!

John
thegrumpyoldman


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