# HPPD (Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder)



## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

Hey friends...

For the next phase of my life, I've decided that I'm going to spend as much time helping kids get through this brutal disorder. I've helped at least 4 people (and sadly lost one - I couldn't get to him in time, so it wasn't anything I said if you're wondering). I say this, because although I'm not a qualified therapist, the best advice comes from veterans who are going through the same thing.

The initial realization that you broke your brain thanks to drugs is so devastating that taking your own life seems like the only way to make yourself better.

I've been tripping out for about 27 years thanks to a bit of LSD...Fortunately, I don't experience visual snow - it's more of a 4K thing where everything is always breathing or moving, but in high definition (my vision has been tested and is always exceptional at 20/13 - backdoor brag). Thought loops are experienced by many and create serious anxiety and panic attacks - these symptoms are a reaction to the experience best described by Robert Sacco in his study that was published by the Canadian Center of Science and Education in the Journal of Education and Developmental Psychology. To put it mildly, they can be nightmarish - like literally finding yourself in the middle of a horror movie; I shit you not.

The medicines that are usually prescribed are pretty bad. The best thing to do it let the person know that it does get better (because you get used to it). In some cases it goes away, but it's usually a 'for life' thing. It's just overcoming the fact that you'll never be the same again is a very tough pill to swallow. Since I went through it alone, and concurrently experienced it with a kundali thing (devastating on its own), I can assure those going through the initial realization that they're going to be fine. If I got through it, they'll get through it (the best medicine, ime). Mind you, I needed to be heavily sedated. They need to know they can still go to school, get married, have kids, and be successful - which seems impossible when HPPD sinks in.

Anyhow, if you know of anyone who's going though this shit, just get them to look up HPPD - the facebook group is quite good for support. I figured since you guys are a bunch of pothead meth users who tuck alcohol soaked tampons in your asses, you (or someone you know) can use the help.

Edit: I don't need any sympathy whatsoever. I'm completely fine - which is what I try to explain to HPPD newbies. Enjoy this pic of my girlfriend to help you not feel sorry for me.


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## Milkman (Feb 2, 2006)

Holy shit, that would take a lot of getting used to. A 27 year acid trip, sounds funny. Not at all.

I took acid in my late teens and into my twenties, but not since then. If there are latent effects, I'm blissfully unaware of them.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'm not sure I would be strong enough.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

Good on ya for helping others.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

Milkman said:


> Holy shit, that would take a lot of getting used to. A 27 year acid trip, sounds funny. Not at all.
> 
> I took acid in my late teens and into my twenties, but not since then. If there are latent effects, I'm blissfully unaware of them.
> 
> I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'm not sure I would be strong enough.


Please don't be sorry. I've got through the rough bit, and I'm a better person because of it. I definitely don't want pity. I just want to help anyone with the problem - especially teens. 

We are stronger than we think, but it does put you to the test. TBH, if I didn't have this particular thought in my head that something evil was waiting for me on the other side of death, I would have killed myself for sure. I feel a bit weak, because of it - almost hypocritical when I'm speaking with others, but it did get me through it.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

Budda said:


> Good on ya for helping others.


Ah, honestly, anyone with the disorder would help anyone with it. Since no one can truly get between you and your own thoughts, it is important to do what you can to help. It's a very supportive community.

I remember my father asking me what he could do, and I told him there was nothing. Just tranquilize me and watch me sleep. I remember that's when I got most of my guitar gear - he was trying to buy my attention. Wish he'd try that now, haha.


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## numb41 (Jul 13, 2009)

Do you have to stand on your head when inserting alcohol-soaked tampons up your ass?

Asking for a friend.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

One has to wonder about any connection between HPPD, PTSD, and OCD (sorry for all the abbreviations). They are all linked by what are generally referred to as "intrusive thoughts" - things that pop into your conscious mind unintentionally that you can't simply shake off and easily distract yourself from. The late Harvard memory researcher Daniel Wegner became well-known (in certain circles) for his studies in which he asked volunteers to *not* think of a white bear, and it ended up dominating their thoughts and "butting in" (for the duration of the study). Supressing the 'white bears' Clearly one can't deliberately and simply "change your mind" in an instant, and think of something else that's less troubling, although I would expect that, given the prevalence of these three life-difficulties there are many strategies studied for self-distraction, over and above, or instead of, drugs.

Naturally, the origins of any particular thoughts butting in can be very different for these three different sorts/categories of problems, but the basic mechanisms are quite similar. X triggers a memory of Y that triggers memories of Z, etc., and pretty soon one's conscious thought is dominated not by what's actually going on around you but rather all those triggered/activated memories. And just so we're clear, a mental image IS a memory. It doesn't have to be an actual lived event (what's technically referred to as "episodic memory").

In some respects, "ear worms" are also a form of intrusive thought, although they don't elicit fear and anxiety (though I suppose if it was the Care Bears theme song, that might be a little unsettling), and also tend to be one-offs. That is, the ear worm you have for 10 minutes while doing the dishes today may never return. That's quite different than some thought which is unsettling and disruptive and difficult to shake.


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## guitarman2 (Aug 25, 2006)

Sorry about your predicament adcandour. I didn't even know what I had my self until I watched a comedy\drama with Mathew Perry called "Numb" which basically described most of my symptoms. I suffered about 25 years of panic attacks and anxiety from after the effects of bad drug trips. in my teen years. A couple of bad ones got me to be afraid enough to quit but it changed me forever. I'm 60 now and after coming to more of an understanding of what I have and knowing I'm not the only one I've for the most part been able to control it. Sometimes the feeling of not being in my body gets strong but knowing what it is is half the battle. 
Its great that you're trying to help people. I battled this all my life mostly by my self. I do give a lot of credit to my wife who is the only one I ever tried to explain it to and she was very supportive.


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## Paul Running (Apr 12, 2020)

guitarman2 said:


> the effects of bad drug trips. in my teen years


I've questioned myself to this effect...if we knew what it would do to us, later on in life...would we still do it? The drug education back then did not exist like today.


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## StevieMac (Mar 4, 2006)

Paul Running said:


> The drug education back then did not exist like today.



You mean like this fact-filled PSA?







FWIW, I do feel fortunate that the bulk of my experimentation with hallucinogens occurred in adolescence and that I "got out" essentially unharmed by my mid-20s. I know others who kept going however and some of them developed significant MH issues as a result. The OP stating they used LSD for 27 yrs leaves me wondering if it was primarily by micro-dosing, which has become quite popular in recent years. Regardless, I wasn't terribly aware of HPPD as a recognized phenomenon until just now. I'm a firm believer that _knowledge is power_ though so...one more person helped @Adcandour !


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## HighNoon (Nov 29, 2016)

Not everyone can face their own spiritual death. It takes a willingness to let go and that is rarely the case emotionally in the teenage years (unless alcohol is involved). I would follow the time line before and after....where, who, how, when. The gate keepers aren't always friendly, in fact I found them to be intensely indifferent to our human condition.


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## SWLABR (Nov 7, 2017)

Did not know this even existed. It makes sense though. Mind altering -anything- can have short or long term effects. Mind _altering_, is meant to _alter_.

And, if it makes you feel better, feel free to share as many pics of your girlfriend as you need to. You know, for your sake, not ours.


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## HighNoon (Nov 29, 2016)

SWLABR said:


> Did not know this even existed. It makes sense though. Mind altering -anything- can have short or long term effects. Mind _altering_, is meant to _alter_.
> 
> And, if it makes you feel better, feel free to share as many pics of your girlfriend as you need to. You know, for your sake, not ours.


Internet advice ain't cheap.


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## laristotle (Aug 29, 2019)




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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

Glad youre doing ok.
I cant really relate, never tried acid....or anything harder than weed/hash. my addiction is to junk food, and its worse than most would understand. the sham industry of psychology recognizes it as a powerful addiction, but then offers wonderful solutions like "eat a carrot instead, and read about good nutrition"...could you imagine saying that to a junkie?

But i think youve figured out that the love of a hot woman can get you through anything, so you'll be ok


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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

SWLABR said:


> Did not know this even existed. It makes sense though. Mind altering -anything- can have short or long term effects. Mind _altering_, is meant to _alter_.
> 
> And, if it makes you feel better, feel free to share as many pics of your girlfriend as you need to. You know, for your sake, not ours.


thats true...I never thought of it that way. i always assumed it meant altering in a temporary sense like while it was being used.
Ya, I think it would be very therapeutic if Chuck created a thread of just pics of his girlfriend.
Actually his ex wife was cute too.


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## SWLABR (Nov 7, 2017)

Diablo said:


> Ya, I think it would be very therapeutic if Chuck created a thread of just pics of his girlfriend.
> Actually his ex wife was cute too.


We'll need documented evidence of this declaration. 

Ya, this is about to get derailed! and probably locked.


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## StevieMac (Mar 4, 2006)

Diablo said:


> the sham industry of psychology recognizes it as a powerful addiction, but then offers wonderful solutions like "eat a carrot instead, and read about good nutrition"...could you imagine saying that to a junkie?


That's a good analogy, and one I've used often with family members of clients struggling with substance misuse. I've often heard frustrated parents say "I don't get it. Why can't they just make their mind up to quit?". That's when I ask them if they've ever been hungry, I mean _really_ hungry, and how successful might they be in simply ignoring it. That's what dealing with cravings is like for many addicts.


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## bigboki (Apr 16, 2015)

I would suggest you to check DNRS program Dynamic Neural Retraining System – Instructional Online Course
It should help with mind loops as well as rewiring the brain. 
I am just starting to use it to help with my allergies.


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## butterknucket (Feb 5, 2006)

Having had some scary trips (that I'm still trying to come to terms with), I can definitely sympathize. All the best.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

guitarman2 said:


> Sorry about your predicament adcandour. I didn't even know what I had my self until I watched a comedy\drama with Mathew Perry called "Numb" which basically described most of my symptoms. I suffered about 25 years of panic attacks and anxiety from after the effects of bad drug trips. in my teen years. A couple of bad ones got me to be afraid enough to quit but it changed me forever. I'm 60 now and after coming to more of an understanding of what I have and knowing I'm not the only one I've for the most part been able to control it. Sometimes the feeling of not being in my body gets strong but knowing what it is is half the battle.
> Its great that you're trying to help people. I battled this all my life mostly by my self. I do give a lot of credit to my wife who is the only one I ever tried to explain it to and she was very supportive.


I don't have too much time to reply, but you should check out the study I noted above. I'm not sure if I put a link.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

StevieMac said:


> You mean like this fact-filled PSA?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Sorry for the confusion. It is like I am still on drugs, even though I haven't touched LSD for 27 years


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

bigboki said:


> I would suggest you to check DNRS program Dynamic Neural Retraining System – Instructional Online Course
> It should help with mind loops as well as rewiring the brain.
> I am just starting to use it to help with my allergies.


I will definitely take a look at that. I ended up doing an EEG not too long ago, but completely destroyed it by meditating while it was being done. Sounds along the lines of what they were trying to do when recommending repair


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

HighNoon said:


> Not everyone can face their own spiritual death. It takes a willingness to let go and that is rarely the case emotionally in the teenage years (unless alcohol is involved). I would follow the time line before and after....where, who, how, when. The gate keepers aren't always friendly, in fact I found them to be intensely indifferent to our human condition.


Thanks to a deeksha ceremony, I no longer have to think about things like this. I'm not worried at all. I just need to stop the 17 and 18 year olds from killing themselves.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

So what is the technical difference between HPPD and what we would colloquially refer to as "an acid flashback"? Is it a matter of intensity, frequency, coherence?


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## SWLABR (Nov 7, 2017)

Adcandour said:


> Thanks to a deeksha ceremony, I no longer have to think about things like this. I'm not worried at all. I just need to stop the 17 and 18 year olds from killing themselves.


This is a commendable thing you are doing here. I think it's safe to say we've all done something(s) in our youth we gave very little thought to, but could have (or may have) affected us for the rest of our lives. It doesn't have to be drugs. It could be a stunt or dare. 

Again, I do not want to derail, but look at the 3rd wave COVID numbers. It's young people. They would have been difficult to wrangle anyway, but the fact wave 1 was "an old persons disease" makes this harder now._ "That won't happen to me". _

What's done is done, these folks you're trying to help made their decisions, and it didn't go well. Doesn't mean it can't _end_ well. 

Good luck!


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## Diablo (Dec 20, 2007)

StevieMac said:


> That's a good analogy, and one I've used often with family members of clients struggling with substance misuse. I've often heard frustrated parents say "I don't get it. Why can't they just make their mind up to quit?". That's when I ask them if they've ever been hungry, I mean _really_ hungry, and how successful might they be in simply ignoring it. That's what dealing with cravings is like for many addicts.


I think most ppl cant understand it unless they've experienced something like it themselves. I know I didnt.

for me, it makes me turn into a vampire of sorts...esp at night, when noone else is around. I think about sneaking out to a drive thru, or raid the cabinets for whatever junk food my wife keeps buying even though i tell her not to.
As i try to restrict my intake, I find myself counting the hours until the next time I allow myself to get fast food (every couple days or so). Or I use excuses to get it, like treating my kid. Its not even hunger related. even after a full meal, I still think i'd like some junk food. Its more satiety related. "normal food" is about as satisfying to me as cardboard. it doesnt trigger the reward mechanism (dopamine). thats what psychology doesnt get about a junk food addiction. A dump truck full of carrots wouldnt stop the craving, and I actually like salads and vegetables. the only thing that does, is literally when you get sick, like a flu or something where you completely lose your appetite. Sometimes I actually hope I get sick for that reason...if they could create a pill to cause nausea and nothing else, i bet it would solve a lot of obesity issues. Although it helped when we used to own a cottage, on an island, was like rehab lol. the worst part is, like any other addict, you feel lousy afterwards...physically, as well as guilt etc.
Just sharing in case anyone else feels like this, youre not alone.

Back to more pics of chucks gf.


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## Ti-Ron (Mar 21, 2007)

@Adcandour That is so nice of you helping people with something like that. I'm pretty sure it's reassuring to talk with someone that understad what is going on!



numb41 said:


> Do you have to stand on your head when inserting alcohol-soaked tampons up your ass?
> Asking for a friend.


A couple of years ago a work collegue had a daughter who experiences that thrue some not so good friends. But since they were woman, they decide to put the vodka soaked tampon up their innies. The poor girl was so sick after that. She had many complications and probably had the worst hangover ever. Seriously, we do some stupid and weird sh*ts when we are young! Don't get me wrong, I am not judging, I did my fair share of stupid stuff.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

mhammer said:


> So what is the technical difference between HPPD and what we would colloquially refer to as "an acid flashback"? Is it a matter of intensity, frequency, coherence?


A flashback is a comparatively short event. HPPD is constant. I am constantly on LSD. It as our minds adjust to the new experience things get better. I've been like this longer than I have been normal, so it is normal for me. 

At first, all I could do was mark a calendar with a simple drawing. I did this because of the near constant deja vu - I needed something on paper letting me know I made it through a day. This worked fine until I had deja vu of drawing things. I was pretty desperate back then. I was able to read/write after a few months. I would say things seemed 'normal' after about a year.

I can still get flashbacks, but they're very odd, rare, and relate to the study I mentioned. They include the people around me, and everyone starts behaving oddly and when I enquire why, they simply have no answer for me. It's very frustrating, and to be honest, terrifying. I've had 2 events over the last year that were quite severe. I can manage to stay somewhat calm, but I still go pale, clammy, and act like a frightened kid. 

So, flashbacks are rare, HPPD is constant for most people. Most people are completely coherent during the HPPD, but the flashbacks, for me, are an event almost entirely based on trying to keep your coherence while observing the situation.

I hope that makes sense.


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## SWLABR (Nov 7, 2017)

Diablo said:


> I think most ppl cant understand it unless they've experienced something like it themselves. I know I didnt.
> 
> for me, it makes me turn into a vampire of sorts...esp at night, when noone else is around. I think about sneaking out to a drive thru, or raid the cabinets for whatever junk food my wife keeps buying even though i tell her not to.
> As i try to restrict my intake, I find myself counting the hours until the next time I allow myself to get fast food (every couple days or so). Or I use excuses to get it, like treating my kid. Its not even hunger related. even after a full meal, I still think i'd like some junk food. Its more satiety related. "normal food" is about as satisfying to me as cardboard. it doesnt trigger the reward mechanism (dopamine). thats what psychology doesnt get about a junk food addiction. A dump truck full of carrots wouldnt stop the craving, and I actually like salads and vegetables. the only thing that does, is literally when you get sick, like a flu or something where you completely lose your appetite. Sometimes I actually hope I get sick for that reason...if they could create a pill to cause nausea and nothing else, i bet it would solve a lot of obesity issues. Although it helped when we used to own a cottage, on an island, was like rehab lol. the worst part is, like any other addict, you feel lousy afterwards...physically, as well as guilt etc.
> ...


There's a great doc called That Sugar Film. It's focused on sugar, but it talks about the dopamine hit of all junk food. Mostly cause that sh*t is loaded with sugar too. Not just the milkshakes. The "Bliss Factor" is the maximum amount of sugar manufacturers can add to things... anything!! to cause addiction, before we actually notice it's loaded with sugar. Something as humble and safe as Spaghetti Sauce. LOADED!!! 

Addiction is crazy!


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## fretzel (Aug 8, 2014)

I remember seeing Mike Tyson being interviewed a couple years ago. They were talking about his drug addiction, to which Mike said, "I know that I should love my children more than drugs, but I dont". That quote is not verbatim but really drove home addiction for me. 

Curious how often you dropped out? I only took it 3 times and I still had the odd flashback for years to come. One time I had the floor drop out from under me by about 3 feet. The looks you get when you ask, "did you feel that?" LOL


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

SWLABR said:


> This is a commendable thing you are doing here. I think it's safe to say we've all done something(s) in our youth we gave very little thought to, but could have (or may have) affected us for the rest of our lives. It doesn't have to be drugs. It could be a stunt or dare.
> 
> Again, I do not want to derail, but look at the 3rd wave COVID numbers. It's young people. They would have been difficult to wrangle anyway, but the fact wave 1 was "an old persons disease" makes this harder now._ "That won't happen to me". _
> 
> ...


I'm just doing what anyone would do in this situation, if they could. Honestly, it's not even really about doing a good thing. Animal abuse and HPPD are the only two things I give a shit about, so I'm not that good a person, haha.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

thanks for all the replies. I gotta head out , but will reply in a bit...


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## numb41 (Jul 13, 2009)

Ti-Ron said:


> up their innies


I may have snort laughed when I read this


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## Paul Running (Apr 12, 2020)

I know when I talk about addictions, it can be difficult discovering what causes the addiction. It's the trigger-points for me. When trying to find it for another person that's where it seems to take some hunting, especially if your buddy or the person you are trying to help is confused with the cause or causes. If I hit two trip-points in succession, I go into a tail-spin and then comes the depressive moods. I consider my drug-use more therapeutic now and it's not so easy gauging it for your buddy or friend in need...are they addicted or is this a social bowl?


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

fretzel said:


> I remember seeing Mike Tyson being interviewed a couple years ago. They were talking about his drug addiction, to which Mike said, "I know that I should love my children more than drugs, but I dont". That quote is not verbatim but really drove home addiction for me.
> 
> Curious how often you dropped out? I only took it 3 times and I still had the odd flashback for years to come. One time I had the floor drop out from under me by about 3 feet. The looks you get when you ask, "did you feel that?" LOL


I took it very often - school, weekends, with the afm and without. It wasn't an addiction. I loved the way I would perceive people, hear music, and laugh like crazy. Some people in the facebook group get it after one or two times.


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## SWLABR (Nov 7, 2017)

Adcandour said:


> I took it very often - school, weekends, with the afm and without. It wasn't an addiction. I loved the way I would perceive people, hear music, and laugh like crazy. Some people in the facebook group get it after one or two times.


I dropped often enough that I don't remember the exact amount. It wasn't every weekend, or every party, but it was a lot of weekends. More so in the summer. I did not like being indoors, especially at Peak. I lived in a small, fairly sane town. If we were heading into "the City" (wasn't a big city by any means) we never dropped. I could not imagine the living hell of being in an urban setting on that. Sensory overload! x10!

We learned that it would magnify whatever it was we (any of us) were going through at the time. If there was a major event, we learned not to do it. A friends grandmother had passed away. She was really close to her, and we all knew her. We thought we'd "escape". Nope, it locked us into a spiral of "Dead Gramma Everywhere" that was too much to take. "Hey, don't these potato wedges kinda look like ears?" "THOSE ARE MY GRANDMOTHERS EARS!!!!!!!" 

I really don't miss that sh*t.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

Diablo said:


> thats true...I never thought of it that way. i always assumed it meant altering in a temporary sense like while it was being used.
> Ya, I think it would be very therapeutic if Chuck created a thread of just pics of his girlfriend.
> Actually his ex wife was cute too.


This chick? She had her moments...but those goldies though....


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

SWLABR said:


> I dropped often enough that I don't remember the exact amount. It wasn't every weekend, or every party, but it was a lot of weekends. More so in the summer. I did not like being indoors, especially at Peak. I lived in a small, fairly sane town. If we were heading into "the City" (wasn't a big city by any means) we never dropped. I could not imagine the living hell of being in an urban setting on that. Sensory overload! x10!
> 
> We learned that it would magnify whatever it was we (any of us) were going through at the time. If there was a major event, we learned not to do it. A friends grandmother had passed away. She was really close to her, and we all knew her. We thought we'd "escape". Nope, it locked us into a spiral of "Dead Gramma Everywhere" that was too much to take. "Hey, don't these potato wedges kinda look like ears?" "THOSE ARE MY GRANDMOTHERS EARS!!!!!!!"
> 
> I really don't miss that sh*t.


The thing is that I do miss it for the difference in perspective. There's something to the greater perspective of things. It draws in a very specific type of person at times - seekers of sorts. Anyway, I had only two nightmare trips and they were consecutive. It was like I was warned once and then life changed forever at the second.

The first trip that went wrong had my friends and I moving in a clockwork fashion for hours. Completely stuck in an uncontrollable pattern that was likely something fibonacci related. The age was correct according to the paper I referenced. We were performing kryas (ancient and bone popping) that were out of our control. That faded away within a normal LSD timeframe and was terrifying and exhausting. You have to understand that I KNOW acid. This was NOT typical. It was not a different supplier - just a different experience that seemed distant from the typical LSD trip.

The next and last time, my friend turned to me while we watched UFC 2 or 3, and said, "Here it comes again". From that point on, I have been stuck in this fucked up time/HPPD thing. Because, eventually, I went from drawing pictures every day to writing daily events down (for a decade), I was able to see insane patterns between events, time, people and thoughts. This continued on into business life - for example...if anyone remembers when I went to ottawa for work, there was a pattern...so, as one example out of many:

The RCMP calls me on a specific street while I'm looking at a specific tree. The time fits into the fib, so as a game, I tell my wife that I'm going to try and get out of it. They say they need me right away due to an issue with the American Embassy. I tell them I'll need to let them know. I call a buddy and ask if he wants to do another tour in Ottawa. He says he's only able to go in 6 weeks, and gives me the exact date that we were there 5 years prior (the weekend that the army does some sort of run).

It's urgent, so they'll have to go with another contractor. They won't have it. I have to go. So, next step is I send them a quote that they should arrest me for...they agree without hesitation.

When I get there, it makes total sense that I should be staying where my guitar buddy is staying (who was initially another client) - Honorable Senator John Doe, because we need to connect around this time. I saw his card hanging at the front desk. He was going to give me a tour of the whole senate once I got in touch with him - not my cup of tea though.

Anyhow, the job is done and I go home. Ah, 80s Rock Star turned property manager for the insane calls me right on schedule. Everytime I come back from Ottawa, this organization has to have an issue at a particular building that I just have to go inspect. It feeds into the pattern, but from a mark hammer perspective is purely coincidental.

Everything is documented and time stamped by emails, contracts and such....Or it could just be the ACID!!!

You know, I've been tested over and over, sight, mentally, brain scans, and whatever, but the verdict is I'm normal as fuck. There must be something wrong with the system, eh?

My belief system is best explained as non-dual shaivism. It's not a religion. Some scholars call it the religion that has no name, however. Many intelligent people feed into it like Carl Jung, Lee Sannella, etc. I like to think that the old tribes - the ones who were able to live perfectly within an ecosystem - that were killed off (Like the San in South Africa where you allowed to hunt them up until 1929) had the answers.

Anyway, I digress. I'm just some seemingly egomaniacal dumb-fuck druggie who lives a sweet life, because he believes he knows all the answers. Pretty gross, if you ask me.


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## StevieMac (Mar 4, 2006)

Is it just me, their "regular face", or was the cat pissed off at something?



Adcandour said:


>


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## Rollin Hand (Jul 12, 2012)

StevieMac said:


> Is it just me, their "regular face", or was the cat pissed off at something?


As an owner of two cats, "pissed off" is their regular face.


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## tdotrob (Feb 24, 2019)

Man thanks for sharing. I didn’t even know that existed.

I was dosing heavy from about 13 yo through HS.

Your déjà vu comment really intrigued me. I have constant déjà vu. My wife always laughs when i do as she says I call deja vu with everything and thinks I’m just pulling her leg. Something to think about for me

I’ve always heard of flashbacks but don’t think I’ve ever had one. I know some of my friends from that period have told me they get them pretty frequently but it’s never happened to me that I recall.

one time i spilled a baby jar of liquid lsd on my jeans and was fucked for a couple weeks but made it through and decided it was time to slow it down.

Sorry you have to go through this. I don’t know how old you are but LSD culture was pretty big in the 90’s especially in SW Ontario where I was living. Lot of people I know never really got out of it just moved on to other drugs when the LSD dried up.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

StevieMac said:


> Is it just me, their "regular face", or was the cat pissed off at something?


there are 4 bitches in that picture, if that helps.


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## SWLABR (Nov 7, 2017)

Adcandour said:


> there are 4 bitches in that picture, if that helps.


Would have been funnier if you said there were just two. But that's me...


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## laristotle (Aug 29, 2019)

StevieMac said:


> was the cat pissed off at something?


My guess is that it just got a haircut.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

laristotle said:


> My guess is that it just got a haircut.


Exactly.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

SWLABR said:


> Would have been funnier if you said there were just two. But that's me...


I was trying to be accurate...


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## fretzel (Aug 8, 2014)

I hear ayahuasca fixes everything. LOL! I love to experience the trip(minus the throwing up) but would never do it.


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

fretzel said:


> I hear ayahuasca fixes everything. LOL! I love to experience the trip(minus the throwing up) but would never do it.


I was supposed to go to a ceremony on April 23rd, but decided to walk away....


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

tdotrob said:


> Man thanks for sharing. I didn’t even know that existed.
> 
> I was dosing heavy from about 13 yo through HS.
> 
> ...


Thanks. I'm 45 in a couple of weeks. This happened in the 90s...


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## Jim Wellington (Sep 3, 2017)

fretzel said:


> I hear ayahuasca fixes everything. LOL! I love to experience the trip(minus the throwing up) but would never do it.


From what I gather, isn`t DMT the latest thing?



Adcandour said:


> Thanks. I'm 45 in a couple of weeks. This happened in the 90s...



Adcandour...a very interesting thread. Thanks for sharing this personal story. I did some acid in my early teens...and have some experience with meditation and some eastern spiritual practices, but it`s too personal of a topic for me to share here. I guess I don`t want people to shit on things I`ve experienced that they have no reference to...so call me chicken.

I wish you the very best of luck helping others.


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## fretzel (Aug 8, 2014)

There are vape cartridges available with DMT. No vomiting and a shorter trip. I hear the trip is very intense and many have a similar experience. Can't recall where I heard that though. 









Ayahuasca vs DMT: How Are They Different?


Ayahuasca vs DMT: The experience of drinking ayahuasca is very different from smoking DMT. We explain the differences between these psychedelics.




thethirdwave.co


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

fretzel said:


> There are vape cartridges available with DMT. No vomiting and a shorter trip. I hear the trip is very intense and many have a similar experience. Can't recall where I heard that though.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That's true. You just have to be careful not to choke on the inhale, or you're in for a VERY rough 10 minutes.


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## Jim Wellington (Sep 3, 2017)

fretzel said:


> There are vape cartridges available with DMT. No vomiting and a shorter trip. I hear the trip is very intense and many have a similar experience. Can't recall where I heard that though.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I`m not sure my brain could tolerate the experience at the age I`m at now.

_*Acid, psilocybin and DMT seem like a risky short cut to a place that`s much safer to access through long term practice of meditation.*_

Once years ago( early 40`s) I engaged with a substance and then asked for an experience(set an intention) in meditation. I was working with a guy who called himself a shaman. I was also playing with Shinto, Reiki and Qigong at the time.

The experience was belief altering and very powerful. The amount of drug i used would be considered inconsequential by anyone who would choose to use it recreationally. 

So....If one wants to play with such things I would suggest a coach, guide or person you know well that is experienced in such matters...and if you find one of those, they will most likely tell you "don`t do it". 

Some doors that get opened can`t be closed. I`m not kidding...and you`ll only find out after the fact.


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## Always12AM (Sep 2, 2018)

When I do Mushrooms I become Professor Xavier in cerebral™

I don’t think you broke your mind.
I think you just unlocked 3% of it and activated soul vision.

One time I got so high that I could read my cats mind by putting his entire face in my mouth. Now every time I see a cat they look me in the eyes like “how does this guy know what I’m thinking”.


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## Lincoln (Jun 2, 2008)

Is this condition specific to LSD users in the 90's? Are there people who acquired the same syndrome from 60's and 70's acid? 
Just wondering if there was something different in the 90's manufacture or materials that played a part.

I didn't know acid survived the 70's.


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## Paul Running (Apr 12, 2020)

Gaining popularity as a performance enhancing drug...Google microdosing with LSD.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Lincoln said:


> Is this condition specific to LSD users in the 90's? Are there people who acquired the same syndrome from 60's and 70's acid?
> Just wondering if there was something different in the 90's manufacture or materials that played a part.


Those are good questions.


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## Lincoln (Jun 2, 2008)

Or is this what happened to Sid Barrett?


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

Sometimes it's hard to know if the outcome of some high-risk self-medication is ONLY the result of the substance, or also a reflection of some pre-existing individual difference (and I emphasize,_ *difference*_, not weakness or character flaw). Prolonged use implies that the individual has to find something about the substance and the state it creates particularly appealing and attractive. A person might find a depressant appealing because it stops them from thinking about something (a different approach to intrusive thoughts). But that's more a case of self-medicating to _avoid _something, not self-medicating in order to experience some distinctive state that one remains awake for.

In Sid's case, there may have been premorbid conditions that predisposed him to lose his bearings, when "assisted" by acid. Schizophrenia can often initially present as quirkiness until later in adolescence and early adulthood, when it blossoms into full-fledged difficulty. Throw some acid into the mix and that can exacerbate things.


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## Lincoln (Jun 2, 2008)

Once you have opened the box, looked inside, and found its contents very interesting and pleasurable, it is hard to not open the box again.
I resisted, but still this thread causes the song "Constant Craving" by KD Lang to play in my head.


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## tonewoody (Mar 29, 2017)

@Adcandour .
You know, these kind of threads strike me as a both a very deep and genuine "I want to help" but also " I am not qualified" due to ongoing issues...
Don't freak out on me, I love that you are "reaching out" but seriously, despite lacking better resources, I question your input and message to others "afflicted" with your perceived disorder, real or otherwise.

I have no qualifications or faith in established psychology, yet I can identify those that are skirting medical "conditions". Frankly, I am sympathetic but is this not some veiled drama tangent cloaked in " my earnest desire to help"?.

Shit is convoluted, no?


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## Adcandour (Apr 21, 2013)

tonewoody said:


> @Adcandour .
> You know, these kind of threads strike me as a both a very deep and genuine "I want to help" but also " I am not qualified" due to ongoing issues...
> Don't freak out on me, I love that you are "reaching out" but seriously, despite lacking better resources, I question your input and message to others "afflicted" with your perceived disorder, real or otherwise.
> 
> ...


Not freaking out, but you don't really know me. I also don't fully understand what you're saying. 

Can you clarify the following:

Are you saying that I, or people with HPPD, are skirting medical conditions? 
You say you identify people skirting medical conditions. How?
What do you mean by "lacking better resources"?
Do you fully understand my input and message enough to question it?
What do you mean by "veiled drama tangent"?
What do you mean by "lacking better resources"?

Yeah, it's certainly convoluted, but it's supposed to be.


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## bolero (Oct 11, 2006)

wow, I've never heard of this before, good on you for trying to raise awareness


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## Sneaky (Feb 14, 2006)

Lincoln said:


> Or is this what happened to Sid Barrett?


This was my thought when I first read OP.


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## allthumbs56 (Jul 24, 2006)

Paul Running said:


> if we knew what it would do to us, later on in life...would we still do it?


Of course we would. We were invincible! 😎


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