# Now THIS is funny...in a very Canadian way



## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

From last Thursday's Beaverton: http://www.thebeaverton.com/nationa...n-tire-money-counterfeit-laundering-operation

*RCMP bust major Canadian Tire money counterfeit, laundering operation*
MONCTON - The RCMP have arrested twelve people in connection to an advanced Canadian Tire money counterfeit and laundering operation, seizing over $10 million in Canadian Tire currency.

Police became suspicious after a man managed to purchase over $10 worth of items in Canadian Tire dollars, which would have required three lifetimes worth of saving. 

“Operation DAD’S GARAGE was a complete success” said Sgt. Harold Massey of Codiac Regional RCMP about the month long counterfeit and laundering sting operation. “The accused made the bills with a Mastercraft Portable Printing Press Pro, which was on sale for $199.” 

According to Massey there are subtle, yet important differences between the fake and original bills just like the difference between a Craftsman 21’ push lawn mower and a Weedeater 21’ push lawn mower.

“On the original bills, Sandy McTire’s cap displays the MacAlister clan tartan, but the fakes are of the lowly MacLeod clan. These guys were amateurs; everyone knows the McTire name is a member of the MacAlister clan.”

Police allege the fake bills were then laundered through a complex network of kitchen drawers of hockey moms and handy-man dads. The bills would then be used to make small renovations to their rec rooms, organizing their garages and possibly purchasing a bread maker. 

According to sources, no Canadian Tire employee was available to comment because they were too busy putting back items customers picked up, looked at and then placed back on the wrong shelf.


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

How can you launder money that ...you can never get rid of... buy something with CTC money .. and they give you more


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## smorgdonkey (Jun 23, 2008)

mhammer said:


> From last Thursday's Beaverton:
> Police became suspicious after a man managed to purchase over $10 worth of items in Canadian Tire dollars, which would have required three lifetimes worth of saving.


That is erroneous. When they first started having gas stations, I had the Canadian Tire Card and compiled enough Canadian Tire money to buy a Black & Decker steamer. I am sure that thing was over $20.

I recall my Dad having a huge stash of the actual paper notes as well...positive that was over $10.

I am thinking the story is missing a zero.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

A year and a half ago, my car got stolen from my driveway. The police found it the following morning in one of the Ottawa suburbs. The car was unscathed, but the SOBs had used up a quarter tank of gas AND they stole my CTC money stash that was in a plastic bag in one of the door compartments. It was $54, and had taken me several years to accumulate.

Of course, more exasperating than the amount that was stolen was just how much time and effort I had needlessly invested in organizing that stash of 5 and 10-cent "bills" so as to be able to count it all and *know* that it was $54.


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## StevieMac (Mar 4, 2006)

smorgdonkey said:


> That is erroneous....I am thinking the story is missing a zero.


The story is indeed erroneous...but I think you're missing something *;^ )*


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## Sneaky (Feb 14, 2006)

Have you guys not heard of Corin Raymond? He recorded an album completely funded by CTC money. Paper Nickels...

http://corinraymond.storenvy.com/products/1003866-paper-nickels


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## bw66 (Dec 17, 2009)

I once bought most of a pair of skates with Canadian Tire money. I handed the poor girl my stack of bills and said, "It's around $200." She turned to the senior teller and said, "He says it's around $200 - do I have to count it?"

The senior teller said yes and offered to help. Didn't actually take that long.


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## ezcomes (Jul 28, 2008)

when i had my truck...i used to fill up at CanTire gas bar all the time...a tank of gas, with the coupons would yield $7-8 a tank...

it would add up quickly that way...

i find it funnier that someone would make fake fake money...what's next? counterfeit Monopoly money?


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## Guest (Mar 4, 2014)

bitcoins?


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## Steadfastly (Nov 14, 2008)

> _*Police became suspicious after a man managed to purchase over $10 worth of items in Canadian Tire dollars,*_


It must have been $1000.00 or $10,000.00.


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## mhammer (Nov 30, 2007)

bw66 said:


> I once bought most of a pair of skates with Canadian Tire money. I handed the poor girl my stack of bills and said, "It's around $200." She turned to the senior teller and said, "He says it's around $200 - do I have to count it?"
> 
> The senior teller said yes and offered to help. Didn't actually take that long.


Oh sure, if you bought several ride-on mowers and snow-blowers and had a stack of $1 CTC money. If you collected it by buying milk, garbage bags, or 1/2 screws, it would've taken weeks. :sSc_eeksign:


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## smorgdonkey (Jun 23, 2008)

StevieMac said:


> The story is indeed erroneous...but I think you're missing something *;^ )*


You dirty rat. Why I oughtta...

Ok. I thought it was a true story that had some fiction thrown in...I didn't think it was completely fictional.

Until now.


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## Guest (Mar 4, 2014)

same paper, two more stories

*Calgary relieves traffic congestion replacing downtown with 6,000 lane highway*


CALGARY - After years of congested roads and frustrated drivers, the City of Calgary announced 
that it will be tearing down most of the city’s core and paving a 6,000 lane highway for a faster 
and roomier commute. 


The city made the decision to tear down 56 major downtown buildings including the Bow skyscraper 
to make way for the Mother Nature Memorial Highway. The decision came after citizens demanded 
the city ease traffic volume and construct more lanes to accommodate the city’s growing number of 
large, luxury SUVs, trucks and RVs. 

“Finally, I will get to work in time to have a parking spot where I used to work!” said Calgary resident 
Tim Ashbury. “I’ve shaved off 5 minutes of my commute. I’m really happy that now, wherever I go, I 
get there quickly in my car.“

Despite the city's best efforts to encourage public transit use, many citizens rejected the idea saying 
that they didn't want to share a vehicle with complete strangers or make awkward eye contact with 
one another.

"I still support public transit, but that's for the public, not me" Ashbury added.




*TTC suggests passengers just 'buy a fucking car already'*

TORONTO - Overwhelming customer complaints regarding long delays and crumbling infrastructure have 
prompted the TTC to suggest to its unhappy customer base “to grow up” and “buy a fucking car already.”


“I don’t know where people got the idea that we were supposed to offer a palace on wheels,” said TTC 
spokesperson Illana Rieers. “Perhaps if more of you would quit being cheap assholes and buy a car like 
a fucking adult, then the subway would run perfectly fine. We suggest saving up some of your drug money 
and signing a flexible lease agreement, then maybe you wouldn’t have to be a low life piece of garbage 
that has to take the streetcar.” 

At press time, stranded citizens waiting in the freezing rain for a delayed bus were being told to show some 
self-respect and take a goddamn taxi.


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## zontar (Oct 25, 2007)

laristotle said:


> same paper
> *Calgary relieves traffic congestion replacing downtown with 6,000 lane highway*


So where are they going?

(But I do support the move!)

the original story was quite humourous as well.

Maybe next there should be counterfeit Tim's cup rims...


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## smorgdonkey (Jun 23, 2008)

zontar said:


> So where are they going?


Bragg Creek!!


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## zontar (Oct 25, 2007)

smorgdonkey said:


> Bragg Creek!!


Right!
How could I have missed that.


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## StevieMac (Mar 4, 2006)

smorgdonkey said:


> I thought it was a true story that had some fiction thrown in...I didn't think it was completely fictional.


If it's any consolation, I don't think you were alone in that. Cheers.

Steve


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## shoretyus (Jan 6, 2007)

Calgary is so progressive 

http://www.cbc.ca/thisisthat/blog/2...share-program-in-favour-of-bbq-share-program/


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## Electraglide (Jan 24, 2010)

smorgdonkey said:


> Bragg Creek!!


Nah, Edmonton....on the fast train.
As far as CT money goes, my son buys a lot of stuff including gas at CT and has a lot of it....the last time I went there with him he spent about $500 or so.....not too sure who counted it, I went for coffee.


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## zontar (Oct 25, 2007)

Electraglide said:


> Nah, Edmonton....on the fast train.


Then they'd have to bulldoze Red Deer.


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