# Another Band Implodes



## mrfiftyfour (Jun 29, 2008)

I've been playing lead guitar in a cover band for a year or so. We've played 3 or 4 gigs, made some money, looking for more gigs.
Summertime can be hard to get the members together for our weekly rehearsal. Hell, with work and families it can be hard anytime of the year.
But something I can't stand is when one of the members doesn't communicate with the rest of the band that he's going out of town. Especially when we have the rehearsals at his place. All the band members showed up today and his wife tells us he went out of town. This happened a week ago as well and I even sent out an angry text complaining about the lack of communication.
I took all me gear with me. As much fun as I have rehearsing and playing live, I think I'm done dealing with others in a band environment.
(mic drop)


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## mario (Feb 18, 2006)

The last band I was in totally sucked out any interest in playing out live unless it is an open jam in a club. My wife is always bugging me to get together with some other guys but being 55 years old it is hard to find other bandmates in my age group. I am very happy just playing my acoustic guitars especially my 12 string.I feel it has made me a better guitar player and I do not have to deal with "difficult" bandmates.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

Put out all goals and schedules at the start. Try to work with everyone but dont be more forgiving than necessary.

I had a band for almost 3 years that didnt do anything productive aside from write an albums worth of music until the last few months it existed. Thankfully Im in a band that operates as a business and while it is not easy, scheduling issues arent really our hurdles. If you want a real band, you have to pony up the $$ and put it above pretty much everything. Or you jam once a week, take 4 vehicles to every gig, and its pretty laid back. Both are good choices - just know which camp you want to be in.


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

There can be a lot of frustrations in a band, for sure.
Personally, I'd rather just be in a jam/hobby band that gets together when they can.
That's pretty well what I'm in now, as our schedules do clash more often than not.
The problem for me is that other band members are entertaining gigs.

I work shift-work, not a bad schedule, work two weekends a month and off for two.
Two members work steady days, Monday to Friday.
The bass player is a brickworker and can get a call at the drop of a hat.
He may have to work out of town, or it can be two weeks straight of night shifts. The "wildcard"
The drummer is retired and the busiest out of all of us.

I've expressed this before, that if we can't commit to practices, we shouldn't be booking gigs.
So there's no drama about people missing practices or gigs, or a clash of personalities.
I do agree to these gigs though, so I shouldn't bitch, I suppose. 8/


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## mrfiftyfour (Jun 29, 2008)

I'm 46 and have been playing in bands since 18. That means I've been putting up with this bullshit for 28 years. OMG - I shouldn't have done the math. Now I feel old and depressed.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2016)

Sa'right.
Wait till you hit fifty.
That's when life is renewed.


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## bluebayou (May 25, 2015)

In my extraordinarily limited experience, I can't seem to find any like minded people to play with either. Every few months I get the itch to try and find others to play with and it inevitably fails. It seems that if I am not the next incarnation of SRV no one is interested. More than a bit frustrating to an old fart beginner who just wants to play, contribute a few original rhythm or lead ideas, is not what people want to share and collaborate music with. 
Just cause I haven't been playing music for 45 or more years, doesn't mean musical ideas are not valid or interesting. 
I hesitate to post this because despite all stated intentions, I have only run into people who want to take control and tell me how and what to play and in no way are interested hearing anything that might deviate from the original recording. They keep compaining about people who keep dropping out or are very spotty in their attendance. They are not the least bit collaborative or even consider that something that something someone else might contribute to a song is better than anything they think of. I have yet to encounter a truly open person who would give ideas a honest hearing attempt to play the idea and intergrate it into a song. 
So, from the other side of the coin, it still comes down to communication. Even if it is a jam and you have an idea that you want to pursue, say it!!!! State you intentions and expectations from the start. And I have yet to run into anyone who is willing to be open and sharing with someone who is learning and wants to learn. I find musicians here in Ottawa very closed minded and stand offish. To quote one respondedent - I don't want to waste any time while you learn how to play covers.


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

It ain't just Ottawa. There are jerk-offs like that everywhere. It just takes time...and the patience to put up with a seemingly endless amount of bullshit.


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## Alex (Feb 11, 2006)

bluebayou said:


> In my extraordinarily limited experience, I can't seem to find any like minded people to play with either. Every few months I get the itch to try and find others to play with and it inevitably fails. It seems that if I am not the next incarnation of SRV no one is interested. More than a bit frustrating to an old fart beginner who just wants to play, contribute a few original rhythm or lead ideas, is not what people want to share and collaborate music with.
> Just cause I haven't been playing music for 45 or more years, doesn't mean musical ideas are not valid or interesting.
> I hesitate to post this because despite all stated intentions, I have only run into people who want to take control and tell me how and what to play and in no way are interested hearing anything that might deviate from the original recording. They keep compaining about people who keep dropping out or are very spotty in their attendance. They are not the least bit collaborative or even consider that something that something someone else might contribute to a song is better than anything they think of. I have yet to encounter a truly open person who would give ideas a honest hearing attempt to play the idea and intergrate it into a song.
> So, from the other side of the coin, it still comes down to communication. Even if it is a jam and you have an idea that you want to pursue, say it!!!! State you intentions and expectations from the start. And I have yet to run into anyone who is willing to be open and sharing with someone who is learning and wants to learn. I find musicians here in Ottawa very closed minded and stand offish. To quote one respondedent - I don't want to waste any time while you learn how to play covers.


"Put out all goals and schedules at the start. Try to work with everyone but dont be more forgiving than necessary."

This is great advice by young Jedi @Budda....I will add, If you have an opportunity to learn from others, take your lumps and view it as a great way to progress. You may not like the delivery or the message but don't let it impede on your opportunity to progress. Once you have reached a certain objective, you can reassess and move on if need be.


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## Budda (May 29, 2007)

@bluebayou do you blame those people for not wanting to wait on you though? That sounds to me like you are asking people who expect a higher level of ability than you currently possess. They might not be polite about it, but that's what I got from your post. Have you tried finding other beginner-ish level people to jam with? 

If the job app says "2-3 years experience required" and you have 6 months experience, can you really expect not to be passed over?

It sounds like you need to find people who are interested in mentoring you as you learn and progress. I recommend a good teacher, as well as jam buddies.


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## Hamstrung (Sep 21, 2007)

I know it can be frustrating to be the odd man out playing with experienced or more skilled players. I've been there, but knowing how much work it takes and how long it can take to attain a certain level of skill while playing may make a lot of people reluctant to hold back for a beginner, I've been there too! 

Any musician or aspiring musician who's come down that long road ideally want to play with people at their level. Some people lack the social skills to handle this nicely. 
On the other hand it can be frustrating and boring for better players if their band is going over and over the same five 12 bar blues tunes in A because of someone's limited current skill level. (just an example, not meaning that to apply to anyone in this thread or that there's anything wrong with 12 bar in A)  

If you find yourself in either situation remember everyone has to find their way, be nice and supportive but also seek people to play with regularly who are closest to where your skills lie. The sweet spot is if they're a little better but you're close enough to catch up.
I'm somewhere in the middle. I have a decent skill set that I'm actively working on but routinely see people locally who can play circles around me. My band consists of guys who are basically at my skill level but I'm always working on my skills. 

Open jams can be intimidating if the usual turnout consists of the better musicians in town. Thing is, these are probably the best places to play with better musicians who won't get all judgmental on your abilities. Often as not, they're supportive. That said, they probably won't be auditioning you for any of their bands any time soon until/unless you prove your abilities.


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## bluebayou (May 25, 2015)

Certainly food for thought. I appreciate all of your replies. Open jams certainly seem to be my next move. And a mentor would probably do wonders for me too. I really try to not oversell myself and abilities. There have been a couple of missteps in replying to "help wanted", but I learned from those. And I certainly would not expect the rest of the band to stand around or postpone their own progress for the sake of mine. 
A new plan of action is formulating!! Thanks - back to practicing!!


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## b-nads (Apr 9, 2010)

The only way to improve is by challenging yourself. Practice is essential, but practicing the same thing will make you improve at that thing until you plateau. Playing with other, better players is a prime opportunity to pick up new tricks, directions, and inspiration...if you're serious about improving, you should jump at these opportunities, not shy away from them.


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## Dorian2 (Jun 9, 2015)

It's really difficult to find like minded musicians at any time, and even moreso if you aren't clear with yourself and the people you jam/practice with what you want to do. As a mostly Original bands lead guitarist, I've also been trough the grinder looking for the same like minded people. Hell, last full band I was in a couple of years ago was with a buddy who I grew up with that became a professional comedian and 2 of his fellows stand up artists who could also play Bass and drums quite well. All original for sure. I've never been into the full on cover stuff except in High School in the 80's....just never took to it. It's not an easy business.


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## sulphur (Jun 2, 2011)

The band I was in gave up the ghost this past weekend.

Next!


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## keithb7 (Dec 28, 2006)

Interesting to hear how we all go through the same types or problems trying to keep a band going. I have been in the same group the past 4-5 years. It was tons of fun. Good paying fun gigs. Great guys. We've really been struggling to get together since our last live gig in Dec 2015. I believe we've practiced as a group 3x since then. It's a little tough on me as I do miss it a lot. I play at home daily and have tons of gear to keep me busy. I just lack the group thing. A couple of jam buddies come over but it's not the same. I work 7-4 Monday to Friday. Public jams often start at 9 PM Sun-Thurs. That does not fit well with my work schedule. Oh well. I guess I'll keep jamming at home for now.


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## Voxboy876 (Jul 16, 2013)

The best band I ever played in, is the one I play in now. We only do a few gigs a year but play together 3 times a week.


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## b-nads (Apr 9, 2010)

We just burned through another bass player...again...:-/


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## JBFairthorne (Oct 11, 2014)

Our keys went last week, our bass this week (I think one of the attractions when he joined was the fact that there was a keys player present). Ah well. At least we still have someone to sing. That's gotta be the worst...having no singer. You can only go around and around so many times without someone singing.


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## Ti-Ron (Mar 21, 2007)

I feel for you!
Had 3 musical projets and then BAM! everything fall appart.
First project: one of my best friend (bass player and singer) got an oppotunity to work for Yales University, can't balme him on that.
So, I got myself into project 2 and 3.

Project 2 got really well for almost a year but judgmental character and immaturity melt everything down.

Project 3 got stopped after a few mounths since people didn't want to get to practice.

Oh well, I'll find some other folks to play with, I hope!


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## Alex (Feb 11, 2006)

Ti-Ron said:


> Project 3 got stopped after a few mounths since people didn't want to get to practice.


That's the tough part for me as well as we don't practice enough. i've got the bug to play out again but we just can't seem to work out the schedules.


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