# New song ....... critique wanted



## Pneumonic (Feb 14, 2008)

My son's band recorded a new song and are looking for song feedback, positive or negative, in order for them to make improvements. 

Would appreciate it if ya'll could have a listen and report back.

Thanks

Kerry

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7868935


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## Pneumonic (Feb 14, 2008)

No one has a comment ........?


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## mrmatt1972 (Apr 3, 2008)

It is sometimes hard to comment on a song/band you don't know. No-one wants to be discouraging to new songwriters.

I'll just say that the drummer (in particular, but not only) needs to keep better time and the tempo swings are a little strange. The subject matter is appropriate for anxt ridden teens but the mix and my crappy computer speakers makes it hard for me to discern the lyrics.


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## Pneumonic (Feb 14, 2008)

mrmatt1972 said:


> It is sometimes hard to comment on a song/band you don't know. No-one wants to be discouraging to new songwriters.
> 
> I'll just say that the drummer (in particular, but not only) needs to keep better time and the tempo swings are a little strange. The subject matter is appropriate for anxt ridden teens but the mix and my crappy computer speakers makes it hard for me to discern the lyrics.


Now that's more like it. Teens they are. Thanks. 

For others, don't be shy .... these guys seemingly have broad shoulders. <lol>


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## JohnyO (May 31, 2009)

I liked the changes in tempo, and also the singer's voice. I too had a hard time hearing the lyrics over the guitar, which made it hard to listen to the song. 

On another note, I always give a lot of credit to people who have the courage to play in front of other people. No matter what their skill level.


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## jimihendrix (Jun 27, 2009)

hey there...went to their website...listened to all the songs..."smooth sailor" is their strongest song...they should continue to pursue that style...


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## Pneumonic (Feb 14, 2008)

Thanks for taking the time to listen and feedback fellas. Hopefully, they'll use the info positively.

Surprised to hear you guys find the vocals low. On the next mix we were going to lower them because they are too loud on the monitors and phones that are being used. Hmmmm, maybe a phase problem with the vocals? Did you listen to the "lo" or "hi" quality feed?

JH, my son will be pleased to hear you prefer Smooth Sailor. That's his baby and the one that allows him to wail away on guitar :rockon2:


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## keefsdad (Feb 7, 2006)

It's a little raw but I like the rock and roll spirit.:rockon2:


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

i didn't like the tempo changes in peices either.

smooth sailor was the coolest one, but i have to say, i don't like the singer.

wolf like me, i liked the guitar, it was a little ramones-esque. 

over all, not too shabby for some young bucks. give 'em time and practice and who knows?


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## Pneumonic (Feb 14, 2008)

Update time and a further request for critique work to those interested.

The band has taken the feedback they received and remixed "Picking up the Pieces". In addition they have recorded a new song called "Times like These" which they would love to hear peoples opinions of. 

Other songs have also been recorded and added.

If you've got the time and inclination the songs can be heard:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=975741&content=music

Thanks


- Kerry


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## cheezyridr (Jun 8, 2009)

times like these was pretty cool, although i think they could use a good producer. the singer is too loud, the band not loud enough. with the right mix, it could be a radio song, i think.


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## jimsz (Apr 17, 2009)

I think the drumming style in the verse doesn't quite fit with the vocals or the flow of the tune.


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## Pneumonic (Feb 14, 2008)

Thanks fellas for taking the time to listen and to respond.

Cheezy, the boys are looking to take "Times like These" into the studio so hopefully they'll be able to get pros to work the song proper for them. In the meantime it's just me and them doing our own, amateur work on the recordings <wink>

Jim, sorry but are you referring to "Times Like These"

Thanks again and looking for more feedback and analysis, good or bad.


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## jimsz (Apr 17, 2009)

Pneumonic said:


> Jim, sorry but are you referring to "Times Like These"


"Pickin' up le Pieces." :smile:


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## Pneumonic (Feb 14, 2008)

jimsz said:


> "Pickin' up le Pieces." :smile:


Ah, that's because you've listened to the french version <lol>


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## Andy (Sep 23, 2007)

Your son's playing feel and tone is the best of anyone in the band -- not brownnosing, just the way it is. 

I really like the singer's voice -- maybe a little pitchy, but very workable. Can't hear the bass much, but his tone and playing seem solid enough in the intro to Hussy.

My advice? Kick the drummer -- he's terrible, and get the other guitarist a better amp. They definitely have potential.


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## Pneumonic (Feb 14, 2008)

Andy said:


> Your son's playing feel and tone is the best of anyone in the band -- not brownnosing, just the way it is.
> 
> I really like the singer's voice -- maybe a little pitchy, but very workable. Can't hear the bass much, but his tone and playing seem solid enough in the intro to Hussy.
> 
> My advice? Kick the drummer -- he's terrible, and get the other guitarist a better amp. They definitely have potential.


Thanks, Andy.

My son will surely appreciate that you enjoy his tone most <wink>. Actually, it's ooodles better as of yesterday since he installed a set of Jon Moore's V59's. Oh baby, do they sound sweet!


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## Lincoln (Jun 2, 2008)

I don't like to critique.......but I've always learn from it so here goes. Pretty much an echo. Singer is good, he's got something. Lead guitar is "standout" good. The other guitar is in over his head a bit. The drummer is in way over his head, he needs to be louder, more aggressive, and get better at keeping tempo. If there is a bass, I couldn't hear him.

I'd say overall pretty good for a bunch of teens. I hope the teen bands I was in sounded that good.


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## Powdered Toast Man (Apr 6, 2006)

I listened to all of Picking up the Pieces:
Drums: Should think about completely reworking what he's doing in the verses. Way too busy and obviously trying too hard to do something he doesn't have the skill for yet. The steady 16ths on the hats do not work for that tune. His homework should be playing to a metronome or click.
Guitar on the left: His crunch is... well it's a little cheesy sounding. Add some colour to that sound and maybe some reverb for depth. Was it recorded DI maybe?
Guitar on right: Suited the style of song.
Bass: Couldn't really discern it from the mix.
Vocals: Actually not bad. With some experience and maybe some vocal coaching he could go to the next level. He's got a tone that made me think of Chris De Burgh. Obviously that's not the style he's going for, but his voice has that quality.

Overall I thought the song was also about a minute too long. Cut it out of the solo.


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## Pneumonic (Feb 14, 2008)

PTM, we had a couple people question the inclusion of the 16th's so the guys removed them in the remix of Pieces. For the better I might add which is why a thread like this is so valuable for young musicians like these guys. It gets them the ear of more experienced players and, as Lincoln points out, allows them to learn. 

Thanks again for taking the time to listen and respond fellas.


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## Powdered Toast Man (Apr 6, 2006)

No problem. I hope I didn't sound too harsh. I guess my thoughts are that you asked for feedback and I'm not doing them any favours by not being honest. Believe me, I've had many a person in my musical career smile while gritting their teeth going "Yeah... It's grrreat!"


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## Pneumonic (Feb 14, 2008)

Powdered Toast Man said:


> No problem. I hope I didn't sound too harsh. I guess my thoughts are that you asked for feedback and I'm not doing them any favours by not being honest. Believe me, I've had many a person in my musical career smile while gritting their teeth going "Yeah... It's grrreat!"


Harsh, nah not at all. The harsher the better I tell them. Your opinion was exactly as those of others who found the 16th's off. The guys took this feedback and remixed the song with those 16th's removed. Without this type of feedback they probably would have left it as so. 

Thanks


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## rpape2601 (Oct 19, 2007)

I kinda agree with the rest of the forum, smooth sailor is about the best, singer is unfortunately mediocre, no offense meant, that's just what it sounds to me. The time changes in some of the songs seem a bit strange and uncomfortable, you just get into the groove and a left turn happens. Just my opinion tho....


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## Pneumonic (Feb 14, 2008)

rpape2601 said:


> I kinda agree with the rest of the forum, smooth sailor is about the best, singer is unfortunately mediocre, no offense meant, that's just what it sounds to me. The time changes in some of the songs seem a bit strange and uncomfortable, you just get into the groove and a left turn happens. Just my opinion tho....


Thanks for taking the time to review and feedback.


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